/ By Lapis_ [+Watch]

Replies: 45 / 82 days 1 hours 23 minutes 11 seconds

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It hurts. More than I thought it would. She was just always so mean to us...
  To edit / Lapis_ / 18d 3h 3m 41s
Working the haunted amusement park again. It’s easy money and it’ll help pay off some of those missed appointment fees. I may be getting a job at a call center too. That’ll help immensely with paying doctors’ office fees and bills and home repairs.
  Lapis_ / 36d 10h 20s
I hate the scale... I fear it... I want to leave... I hate living here.
  Lapis_ / 38d 23h 57m 16s
I got a rose from his casket. It reminds me of the one that we’re on memaw’s casket... Today was hard, emotionally...
  Lapis_ / 41d 4h 30m 21s
I was just told that if I refused to be weighed, I’d have to give up on my cosplays and art. That I shouldn’t be able to enjoy the things that make me happy and not want to kill myself because “I’m falling back into old habits”. My only source of expression will be taken away from me. Anorexia is a bitch I’ve been living with since I was nine years of age. Mom, don’t you understand by now I have it under control?

I guess you’re just worried because I’ve lost some belly fat from doing yoga and exercising to gain a little bit of muscle to my body. Not to lose weight or be thin, but look healthy and feel good about myself...
  Lapis_ / 42d 1h 16m 41s
Flooding everywhere.

The power even went out.

Everyone was like “Hurricane Nate won’t do shit.”

No, he just caused flooding, tornadoes, and power outages. Damage to homes and businesses.
  Lapis_ / 43d 10h 12m 23s
I had to stop myself from going down and talking to my one of my other uncles yesterday. I already messed up and called him by the name of my recently deceased uncle... I just don’t want him to be mad at me...
  Lapis_ / 44d 10h 59m 4s
It’s 1:03 am. I’m currently up and crying. I don’t handle death very well, especially when it comes to people I was very close to. It finally hit me that I won’t be able to sit outside and talk to him every day like used to do. I literally watched this man wither away and leave this world... I guess it only hurts this much because I actually watched him get worse.
  Lapis_ / 45d 17h 3m 12s
I need to sleep.

Rest won’t come easy. However, staying awake is harder to do as well.
  Lapis_ / 45d 23h 16m 52s
I'm just going to stop speaking for while. Too much is going on and my voice is just shutting down...
  Lapis_ / 45d 23h 48m 31s
The funeral is either Monday or Tuesday... I'm not ready...
  Lapis_ / 46d 2m 26s
Maybe I shouldn’t go this convention. I don’t know...
  Lapis_ / 46d 1h 48m 57s
There’s a storm heading this way. I’m not too worried about it. I’m more worried about my aunt after today’s events. She needs to rest.
  Lapis_ / 46d 1h 50m 58s
He’s gone. He’s really gone.

I’ve already skipped steps in the mourning process. Denial is one of them. There’s just no point in denying what was already happening. Dementia won. That’s all have to say for now.

Rest In Peace.
  Lapis_ / 46d 9h 26m 38s
That permanent feeling of hopelessness is a fucking killer.
  Lapis_ / 46d 10h 6s

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