[size10 [+white xxxxx] the pain was unbearable. it's why i chose to do what i did. the constant pressure of society - a society that wanted nothing more than to get rid of all individuality. it was suffocating. i couldn't handle it any longer. i never thought i'd come here, to commit suicide. well, i can't be too surprised. this was aokigahara, better known as the suicide forest. which was, when you think about it, a shame. it's true name was much more pretty and mystical. sadly, the forest was anything but. long abandoned cars still remained , never to be touched again . my own car would soon join them. just as i was soon to join the countless bodies that remained in aokigahara. it was a sad, but fitting fate. one that i had already come to terms with.
[+white xxxxx]as i traveled the path, with nothing more than a rope in tow, i felt a sense of calm. a feeling i hadn't felt in a long time. after ten minutes or so of walking, i stepped off of the path. i had done my research. if you truly wanted to die in aokigahara, it was a good idea to step off the path . that way, if someone happened to wander by, they would not see you and save you.
[+white xxxxx]i most certainly did not want to be saved. i was sick of everything. with a shake of my head, i snapped myself out of my thoughts. i was distracting myself from the goal at hand. as simple of a goal as it was. i chose my tree, enjoying the fact that there were no other bodies around. a simple jump from the branch, a snap, and then darkness.
[+white xxxxx][size16 . . . . . .]
[+white xxxxx]followed by a light brighter than i had ever seen before.
[+white xxxxx]not long after, i felt my eyes flutter open. "i'm ... still alive ?"
[+white xxxxx]my question was only answered by the wind. i was sure i broke my own neck. there was no way i could still be alive.
[+white xxxxx]feeling my throat, i brushed against something cool. yet brimming with energy. [i life]. i looked down at my arms. years of scars from both self inflicted wounds and accidents were gone. in their stead were ... flowers. leaves. i looked at my legs, to see the same. it was odd, just as it was to still be alive, somehow. but ... i didn't feel so sad.
[+white xxxxx]no, i felt as though i had a purpose of sorts now. i hadn't the slightest idea what it was, but i was feeling better. i stood up, dusting off my skirt. my thigh highs were in tatters, with flowers and leaves poking out of them. i couldn't bring myself to be bothered. i felt too much at peace. it was odd. "what even is going on?"
[+white xxxxx]i spoke aloud to myself. a voice was carried on the wind.
[+white xxxxx]"no more death . pl - ease."
[+white xxxxx]feelings that weren't mine surged within me. sadness. grief. followed by images of those that died here. before. after. in between. the message was clear to me.
[+white xxxxx]the forest wanted no more people to die by their own hand here. it hurt the forest, to watch humans die and rot amongst the forests' roots. with that realization, came the realization that i was no longer human. i was an extension of the will of the forest. a spirit given physical form to grant the wishes of the forest.
[right [size16 my fate has been realized .][+white xxxxx]]
[+white xxxxx][size16 . . . . . .]
[+white xxxxx]years passed . i carried out my duties. suicides at aokigahara became reduced. there were still people that came and chose to die anyways , despite me trying to talk them out of it. these deaths weighed heavily on my heart, and the forests'. it was saddening, but we both came to accept that not everyone could be saved. we would always try though.
[+white xxxxx]however ... after a while, i began to notice something odd. there were people that came, who were not suicidal. no .... they seemed to be looking for me. i couldn't be sure, because i only ever heard them whisper "咲く少女" while glancing around the forest .
[+white xxxxx]i always chose to ignore these kinds of people. they never seemed to be at risk of committing suicide. occasionally, i would catch more whispers from them besides the usual. these whispers contained stories of "the girl with blooming flowers" saving the lives of those who wanted to die. reasons like this were why i opted to keep myself hidden. i did not want to add more fuel to the fire of this myth, though there was not much i could do in the end. it seemed that those i saved were talking about seeing me. despite the unwanted attention, i refused to refrain from helping those in need. it was my purpose, after all, and i did not want to feel the overwhelming sadness of the forest again. i also did not want to deal with the overwhelming feeling of unwanted attention.
so , i chose to ignore those looking solely for me.
[right [size16 u n t i l . . . . ][+white xxxxx]]
[+white xxxxx]one day, [i she came]. she was calling my name. my [i real] name. it caught my attention. i was unsure how she knew my name. it caught my attention. i was standing behind her, invisible to the human eye, merely watching her. i could feel her sadness. she was not like the others that came looking for me. she was sad. in pain. but still had hope.
[+white xxxxx]hope was a wonderful gift in my eyes. it gave me a better chance to save someone. so --
[+white xxxxx]this was the reason that caught me to sit down next to her and show myself.
[center [size16 ' h e l l o . . . . ']]