Blooming ✿

/ By Sakura [+Watch]

Replies: 227 / 2 years 180 days 21 hours 32 minutes 37 seconds

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Roleplay Responses

[size10 Beyonce's "Pretty Hurts" always makes me cry.

Growing up in a house hold where beauty is so emphasized, I was never enough. Grew up peer pressured to look a certain way, dress a certain way.. was judged before I could even understand I was being judged.

That was just one of many other problems.
Problems I keep to myself, it is in the past though-- sometimes.. it still haunts me.

I don't feel good today.
That much is obvious...

I just don't.
  Queen / 282d 46m 45s
[size10 Queen Ariana Grande and Queens of BlackPink performed at Coachella but I didn't get to go this year so I'm hella sad about it.

It is okay though, bae will one day take me to see them in concert.
I also plan on Coachella when we more financially stable and not broke college students.

It is pretty rad that we're both in the medical field, ya know?
I have always preached about securing your own bag, don't wanna have to depend on anyone but having a partner who you know is gonna secure their own bag too? We'll for sure be okay.

I hope we get to work together since we both in the same field.
So we can sneak away and make out together during our breaks, wouldn't that be exciting? maybe sex in the car? A girl can dream.

Me and my dirty mind...
I can't help myself.

Bae just.. unf~
But then that jerk gets cocky.. just cause Teme will practically be a doctor if all goes well. Maybe I'll do masters and then we will see!!

Not that it matters, I am still that jerk's Queen.
I get my way always. Especially no complaints in the bedroom.
  Sakura / 283d 12h 55m 20s
Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch
Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage?
  Sakura / 295d 23h 16m 3s
[size10 Honestly, I'm tired of having to be the one to do literally everything.

I'm stressed out but getting by.
I'm happy to say I am a problem solver though.

I have a lot I want to say in my journal but..
  Sakura / 307d 22h 35m 25s
[size10 Suck it up.

Deal with it now, right?
It is what it is..
I won't be selfish.

I'll be okay.]
  Sakura / 307d 22h 43m 31s
[size10 Karma is real, you know?
Like everyone, I've been hurt by people too.

But my time is better invested on myself, I only think of ways to get stronger, better-- I only think of solutions. Just turning pain into motivation and strength, working towards my happiness.

You hurt me? I might say a thing or two if i'm in the moment but I just walk away and I allow karma to do the work. Every single time, karma has done her thing.

I don't get bitter, I get better.
I'm always on top.

But really, be a good person.
Good people win.

It's just better to be kind.
It's better to be positive and happy.
It's healthy. Health and happiness.

I'm working towards it always.
  Sakura / 318d 12h 44m 5s
[size10 I love that my friends really treat me like a queen- I don't mean literally, obviously. It's cute how they literally say "Queen" and some of my friends are too nice to the point they buy me gifts, like-- my girls are queens too but they make sure to make me feel like one and I try my best to do the same in return.

Sam is especially good to me as a bestie.
I fuck with other queens.

I feel lucky and blessed. I enjoy their company.

And then.. you have my amor~
Always treating me right..

Things are nice so far, no matter what happens..
I have good people in my life.
  Sakura / 319d 12h 46m 41s
[center [pic]
[center [size10 Energy level: Dany]]
  Sakura / 319d 12h 52m 17s
[size10 I always want to carry myself with confidence, kindness and like a Queen. Like most women do, right? I hope every woman does.

Every woman deserves to be treated like a queen.
Don't let a man ruin your mascara- especially with tears of sorrow.
Don't let a man be the reason you are unhappy.

Man or Woman, don't let the person you're supposed to be happily in love be the reason you're not happy.

I see it a lot..
I understand financial stability is a big issue with this current economy of ours, life is too expensive. Tomorrow I'll see my aunt and I know she is going to have the same worn out expression on her face that pains me to see. I'll be seeing the father of her children, her boyfriend there too.. a comedian.

No one is perfect, no relationship is..
But the sadness her eyes hold within.. you have to wonder..

How important is money/financial stability in a relationship..?
He doesn't help her in the slightest with bills, he doesn't work anymore.. when he does, it is normally a part time job.. that he eventually quits. He doesn't clean at home, he doesn't do much at all. At least he is there though, right? Being the father of the girls. He loves them. That's good.


But then I notice how she struggles to keep a smile, she struggles.. fighting back tears if we even talk about the future..

. is him being funny enough? is him just being there enough?
Love isn't about money.. this isn't about money. He doesn't need to be rich, she doesn't need to be rich. Why can't he see that he is breaking her? why can't he see she needs help? sure, she could be a mom, a college student and work at the same time.. but does that sound healthy?? doesn't she need rest? what good is it taking her classes if she has to drop them midway because he isn't supportive enough in the areas she needs him to be. He doesn't need to be rich.. can't he just.. pick up a full time job? when she is literally doing everything...? does he not feel bad??? can't he at least do the cooking? clean?? why is he home doing nothing.. ????

If you love someone...
Won't you do anything to support them?
Won't you do anything to see the other happy??
If he loved her, wouldn't he work so she could work towards her goal so one day they can be in a better position? wouldn't he feel bad??
He is healthy, he is capable.. why can't he just... play his part?

I don't know...
The worst part is she knows, she knows he isn't very useful..
But she loves him.

I get it..
I can't relate though.

I think.. he doesn't love her..
There is no way you can live with her, see how much pain she is in and claim to love her.

To me, that isn't love.
If I were an actual scrub, I'd at least make sure my love came back home to a welcoming home, a clean, comfortable and stress free environment.

I know too many girls in this position.
Are they scared they can't do better?
They are all queens..

Snap out of it..

I've witnessed it so much growing up I've made sure to not ever put myself in that position but I also got lucky my certain someone didn't turn out to be that way.

I wanna tell her to let him go.. but I think she knows what needs to be done already. Love just isn't easy when its that rough, huh? honestly though.. I feel like, we need to really care to a certain degree about the other's financial situation. If you end up with someone like my aunt who won't support you financially.. then the relationship takes a toll and suddenly.. you aren't too happy anymore, right? It matters...

Late night thoughts. Enough of that.
  Sakura / 326d 11h 19m 25s
[size10 And basically you make me really happy and I'm so happy to have someone I could always be 100% myself with.]
  ☾ . * ♥ / Sakura / 326d 13h 1m 55s
[center [pic]]
[size10 20's are the worst. Nothing like being poor, lost and confused.
I understand what I want career wise but everything else? Man.. it's like stepping into a tornado.

I can say that I probably won't start to enjoy life to the fullest till my late 20's and early 30's..]
  Sakura / 1y 43d 3h 55m 16s
[size10 [b I




also rip me.
Murrrrreeeeyyyy christmassss.
  Sakura / 1y 44d 17h 38m 33s
[size10 Disneyland on Christmas, pretty excited.
I deserve it to be honest.
Especially after getting straight A's.
I'm gonna get drunk at Disney, it's been decided.
  Sakura / 1y 45d 13h 35m 49s
[size10 [b I'm jealous of the nights
That I don't spend with you
I'm wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I'm jealous of the nights
I'm jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I'm jealous of the love
'Cause I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me
As I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
Oh, as I die here another day, yeah
'Cause all I do is cry behind this smile
I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me
I-I-It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me]]
[size10 Sweat trailed down his wrinkled forehead, down his furrowed brows as he let out a distinct cry that would strain his throat, his good fist colliding with a boulder over and over again. Each time, a little harder, only further damaging his knuckles as his fist collided, digits shattering further with every punch and it was what he desired, what he wanted to feel-- anything to replace the heart ache that haunted him tonight, the night before and the one before that night. His cries echoed throughout the lonely forest. No one near, no one around to witness Konoha's hero... [i fall].

His pain..

[i 'Naruto'] except for one individual, the one that was with him at all times, since birth.

"AH!" his knuckles further cracked, his wrist going limp as he stumbled further against the boulder he lashed out at. Azure hues were wide and heavy with sorrow as he panted, his bandaged hand coming to grasp the fabric right above where his heart rested. "hah-hah--" he struggled to swallow the heavy lump stuck in his throat, shutting his eyes for mere seconds as he frowned, tears streaming down his whiskered cheeks, how he hurt, how he wish it would end. Uzumaki Naruto was facing the biggest battle in his life and the most important of all.

The battle with himself, his heart.
Like once before, long ago but only.. this darkness was different and had nothing to do with Kurama..

[i 'Naruto!'] the fox's worry heightened. [i 'Stop this!'] but his words fell on deaf ears as the blonde, with the same bandaged hand pushed himself off the boulder, immediately raising said bandaged hand.. now a fist-- colliding with the boulder only making him grit his teeth tightly. It wasn't enough though. The now semi-bandaged palm of his hand supported him on the boulder, facing it in silence for a short moment before bringing his head straight down onto it as hard as he possibly could, the stone meeting the front of his skull, blood drizzling down his forehead as it mixed with sweat and tears. The first time was enough to hurt alone, to bleed. The second time made him dizzy. The third time his ears were ringing, his brow bone was swelling. [i 'Enough!!'] Shouted Kurama but the blonde couldn't hear him as the fourth meeting of his skull and the stone made him nearly lose consciousness, black at the corner of his vision.

But he stopped.. for a moment as his scrambled thoughts came together slowly but surely. He turned his bloody head to his left, looking forward and ... he visioned her..

The one who took him.
That's right.. it was her..
The one who took him.

Rage boiled in him, he wanted to yell at her, he wanted to ask her [i why], demand an answer but he knew the answer already.

[i 'Who are you trying to blame, Naruto..']
the Hokage watched the girl approach the raven with her sweet smile..
Giggling... reaching for his only arm..

[i 'When you parted ways.. the laws of life applied as they always do. Life is cruel sometimes, love is cruel sometimes.. '] Kurama spoke softly.

He slouched, watching them as he leaned against the boulder that was stained with his blood. Weak and pathetic. Looking the most defeated he has ever appeared. "I did this... I did it" he spoke silently, his voice trembling. "What does it matter if I'm Hokage, Kurama.. " he let out a raspy chuckle of amusement at himself that was really a disguised cry. [i 'What does it matter if you have it all... that is what you're thinking. You're thinking.. you actually have nothing']

There was silence as the breeze passed him by.. passed them by.
Heavy eyes blinked, watching as the girl get on her tippy toes and he lowered his head towards her leaning face..

"I lost everything" he smiled sheepishly and he felt himself wince immediately after, ripping his gaze away, the scene at play now gone with the wind. He turned his body to face the boulder one more time. He wasn't quite finished.

The wind passed by one more time.
He prepared to bash his head once more but as he swung himself forward, his body gave in, the corner of his face meeting the stone as his body collapsed to the dirty ground and his consciousness was gone with the wind as well.
  Sakura / 1y 45d 14h 59m 11s
[size10 You know, my dad's side of the family is a fucking nightmare.
I also think my grandma is pretty messed up.
I don't like to speak to them because they always got something to say about me. I used to care to come out and say hello when they're in the city.. but.. not anymore.

They think I'm rude for it? who cares.
They are rude regardless.

It sucks that they shit on people who are humble, kind and really sweet in general. I can't stand how they treat my mom but what am I supposed to do? that side of the family has blacklisted me already. Yeah, thank god they all live up north, they'll be gone any moment now and irrelevant soon so whatever.

Anyways, last night I fell asleep.
I did nothing wrong, I was super buzzed.
I was a social butterfly as I always am.
But you know, I gotta be guilt tripped.
How dare I?

My anxiety has spiked, I'm having body aches.
Vitamin D deficiency.. probably still deficient.
But it isn't that bad like last time.. I feel like the stress isn't helping though. I don't know, I'm really annoyed, you know? But soon I'll be at peace for a moment.. I think, I hope.

I'm strong, I can do this. I've gotten through so much.
I get anxiety sometimes and it sparks other things but..
I've never lost to those things.

God.. I ain't perfect.. I know that.
I mess up a lot..
I'm a sinful person..
So as always.. I ask you to provide me the strength to be strong..
Help me be the best person I can be.

You know I'm always trying..
Always.. but I'm only human.

It's been awhile since I've typed up some vulnerable post..
Sometimes I need it.
  Sakura / 1y 51d 1h 37m 3s

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