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[size10 I had a good new year's eve. I got super drunk, danced and did some twerking. God knows I don't twerk anymore cause I don't have that sort of time for it through out semesters but I did last night. House was a mess in the morning, how you know it was litty.
I don't really have a hangover but I have a small headache. Woke up to my hand being dead lmao when you pass out on the living room floor. I'm motivated now to work out, yeah I know it is cheesy and sorta basic to be like dieting-- surprise, surprise.
I don't give a shit, I gotta get my killer body back.
Gotta fit back into these bomb ass dresses I have, all the outfits I can't wear with confidence at the moment. I just want to get back to taking body selfies, my ass and thighs were so good in 2017-2018. My body was POPPIN. I want that confidence back. Good grades and killer body, let's fucking get it. ]
[size10 Writing that made me feel better..
It really gives me hope.
Hope is all I have.
Even when there is no hope..
I need to believe there is even when there are no signs.
so.. I hope.
I always will for the sake of my sanity.]
[size10 My A in this course is confirmed, I am like SOOOO HAPPY. Aside from a shit day, I'm hapyyyy!!! GPA getting better, gotta touch super close to 4.0 at least, we.]
I'm really tired of people being so shitty.
I really go out of my way for people..
I do things out of kindness, I just believe in being kind but that gets taken advantage of.
I just wish.. someone was the way for me?
But no one really is.
I mean in all aspects, no one ever goes out of their way for me.
I do the most for strangers, friends, family....
Am I a complete dumb ass??
I'm just fed up everyone and everything right now.
I'm tired of literally everyone and everything.
I.. need to be alone.
[center [pic https://66.media.tumblr.com/cd5911702d4e147d0abe9394fc68a325/tumblr_pr3g5ttZtB1r00543o1_400.gifv]
[center [size10 This scene hits too close to home.]]
[size10 Since the semester ended, it has been pretty chill. Lots of gaming, I get to play with makeup again. Maybe even play with hair. Thinking a lot about my career in the long run.
I'm pretty happy this christmas. All I wanted was for my family to have good health, for us to be okay. We are and I'm grateful for that. Also happy I got the grade I wanted.
Things are pretty good.]
[center [pic https://66.media.tumblr.com/04d1d6c8bd603a24f946203821a8ef19/35a949c7e73e0e1a-bf/s640x960/b259de473b0148af9e3065448baa9e621e07b246.jpg]]
[size10 Sometimes I talk too fucking much..]
[center [pic https://66.media.tumblr.com/6d8e1e77949b532958a1b79571f343b0/25ac60d539eefe2a-a2/s400x600/03dfef07a9a79dc75f7321dc213344db96705c33.gifv]]
[center [size10 Current life mood.]]
[center [pic https://media2.giphy.com/media/EQKISjQZRKNXO/source.gif]]
Moving on to more RELEVANT things...
I'm pretty proud of myself, you know me-- trying to Ace shit.
It has been exhausting, all I do is study but it's really paying off.
I've been thinking A LOT about something... that I can't really say.
I need to speak to my best bitch first, see what wisdom she puts in my head.
Things are pretty chill.]
[size10 Sometimes you're just too much woman for these little boys. I feel like all I meet are.. boys, not men. Some mamas really raised bitches out here.
I fuck with science.
Not these bitches.
Nobody got time for that.]
[size10 Totally not stress crying.
Okay, I'm stress crying.
Just a few days I took off and I'm overwhelmed.
I hate this.]
[center [pic https://66.media.tumblr.com/16d0cff26a12a4f63a45bbcec62db4b2/tumblr_o46futq52M1qfh70bo1_250.gifv][pic https://66.media.tumblr.com/f2744cd2671909c4f197bd4233fb2e14/tumblr_o46futq52M1qfh70bo3_250.gifv][pic https://66.media.tumblr.com/8d5278bfa8cca58b2bd874e427caab07/tumblr_o46futq52M1qfh70bo2_250.gifv][pic https://66.media.tumblr.com/708506dd539cd1f31ed7b8ca3c091345/tumblr_o46futq52M1qfh70bo4_250.gifv]]
[size10 Keeping an A has been difficult.
It isn't an easy class so there should be no surprise there.
Thing is, these classes have to be easy considering the path I want to take.
That is my real problem, you know?
The only problem I should have.
It sucks to realize that a good friend may have possibly only been a good friend because they are romantically interested in you. I'm sorta used to this. I see it a lot in male friends. I can't be disappointed there because I typically know, I think. I just thought this person liked me alone as an individual. She was kinda dramatic last night, i'm sorta just.. done with it.
I don't like when people are this clingy and I'm not even dating them..
I just need some space.
I'm kind but I have my limits.]
[i [b Some days, things just take way too much of my energy]
I look up and the whole room's spinning
You take my cares away
I can so overcomplicate, people tell me to medicate
Feel my blood runnin', swear the sky's fallin'
How do I know if this shit's fabricated?
Time goes by and I can't control my mind
Don't know what else to try, but you tell me every time
[b Just keep breathin' and breathin' and breathin' and breathin']]
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