⌜ANTI⌟

/ By sinssbinss [+Watch]

Replies: 147 / 86 days 21 hours 41 minutes 8 seconds

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[center [pic http://i.imgur.com/CpcZjf3.png]][center [size10 Made a thing of my youngest. I am prouddddd]][center [size10 Take this shit and we fucking fighting]]
  admin / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 51d 18h 47m 49s
[center Baby, I smoke heavy, drunk on Henny][center [s [size7 Sik-K tho]]]
  PNM / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 51d 21h 36m 10s
[center If we're all so easy for you to give up on and throw away then why did you cling so hard? Why did you try so hard to make us listen to you? What was the point? What's the point in telling us all you don't give a fuck or to go die or whatever if you realize we don't care and at this point it's no skin off our backs? I give it a couple days before you're back to wallowing in your self pity. Before you're back to no having reciprocated feelings for someone that you deny and your jealousy returns and you have no one to turn to or who cares to listen to you. You're going to get lonely real fast with just that one person around.]
  PNM / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 52d 5h 34m 1s
[center [+white my angel]][center [youtube https://youtu.be/3BCa1jfnRqg]]
  admin / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 53d 35m 42s
[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/F2gqnLz.gif]]
[center [+white x]][center [+white x]][center [+white x]]
[center Thank god someone woke up. I feel bad it was Set and he felt shoved into Morte's role but it helped, it really helped. So thank you lil bby you helped me more than you know.][center Also I miss him too, I know it's lonely without him. It's too quiet, but there isn't anything we can do about it.]
  admin / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 53d 14h 21m 10s
[center I teared up try and tell me Jay Park isn't beautiful][center [youtube https://youtu.be/Hzhi3UhH-ls]]
  admin / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 54d 19h 14m 24s
[center [pic http://i.imgur.com/MV61YAR.gif]][center [size10 You know I could drop this, just forget about this shit BUT I have just one more thing bugging.]][center [size10 How the FUCK are you going to say you have PTSD and try and use it as a shield, or crutch, or excuse or whatever the fuck you wanna consider it when it's merely just assumed. You're self diagnosed, the problem with self diagnosing yourself with something of that degree is it could also just be a numerous other things. You can't know for sure, and you sure as hell couldn't go and use that shit in public, or actually you could but that is LYING. Woah what a concept. You using that shit as a reason we should be patient with you when it's not even an official diagnosis??? Get away from me with that shit. Do you know how long I've questioned if what I was dealing with was this or that but didn't dare self diagnose myself because I'm not a good judge and don't feel I can trust myself. And look I was told my psychosis isn't schizophrenia like I feared, which I only did because of family history, turns out it's just my bipolar. You know what else I suspected? That Morte, and Set, and all those other Personas I had might be more, but again, I still called them personas but now I have an official diagnosis, I can legitimately say if I don't remember doing something that it must have been one of the others. But see the thing is I can't abuse that shit, it's obvious when it's me or one of the others. And you talk all this stuff about your muses and how sad they are. Imagine this, I had a whole person, a whole part of me that just fucking died one night and vanished and ever since I've felt incomplete, I'm so used to him in the back of head raging or bitching or just being a pain in the ass, and now it's just so empty and everyone else is asleep. So seriously stop acting like you're the only one going through tough shit. If you honestly think you have PTSD that's not something you should let eat away at you. I lost an amazing person because he ignored his PTSD, it took me years to actually cope with that shit. You don't fuck around with it. Why do you think I went to finally go get help? Because if I don't who tf will? Yeah, my friends are a fucking blessing and they do what tf they can but I don't expect them to fix me, they aren't going to be able to, especially since they're all dealing with their own shit. Literally all of them have shit they are dealing with in their lives, the best part is you know most of them and some how even though I'm a fucking mess they've put up with me, because I may feel like I wallow in my self pity but I fucking try to survive. I may not want to sometimes but jesus fuck if I'm going to let them down, or let my mom use me as some fucking sob story. They best thing I can do it live my life for me and make them proud because to be fucking honest they are my family.]]
[center [size10 Also idk why tf you think dropping people's names isn't going to get people to fucking shut up. If anything you're making shit worse, you can villainize me, honestly, I would prefer you to drop my name before you dropped anyone else's. Of course Suga fucking defended me, because there were times where I mentally fucking couldn't and had nothing to say that wasn't just agreeing. I literally am the worst at selling myself let alone trying to defend myself. Also as I recall there were times where she had to defend me from you. So don't act like she's just some attack dog. She's done more for me than you have at this point and all I get to feel like is a shit friend and a shit person who tried so fucking hard but every time there was a disagreement you needed to throw shit in my face. And hey, maybe I'm doing the same thing right now but that's just how it is.]]
[center [size10 So like I guess you either just need attention so much right now that even the negative kind is good enough for you, or you're just really trying to make people hate you, and just the more you keep going and going you might just get your wish.]]
  admin / Zico / 55d 12m 49s
[center I was gonna write a huge long post but all I feel I need to do is talk about that point in time when me and you weren't talking and weren't friends and Psyc decided to take it upon himself to tell me to just die or kill myself and you let him. Idk if you'll look in here but I hope you do. I hope you're reminded just how petty you can be that all that talk of being a good person and not wanting to fight only goes so far cause as I recall you didn't stop him because it wasn't your job to. Or was it because he didn't listen? Either way you let him do that. Whether we were friends or not shouldn't change how supposedly compassionate you are. And I have tried so hard to keep these from being spiteful because I don't hate you. Even if I may have reasons to I don't but honestly as a firm believer in Karma that's exactly what I think this is.]
  BABY / Zico / 55d 5h 52m 28s
[center shit][center [youtube https://youtu.be/-2KYquKg-Ns]]
  admin / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 55d 15h 55m 52s
[center [size10 Seriously tho, how sad is it I had one session with my shrink, first one ever, and she acknowledges me by my gender identity far better than my own mother does. Honestly it's amazing, and she even mentioned hormone replacement therapy but then remembered I don't have insurance so of course I've thought about but couldn't afford it. There are a lot of things I realized from her reactions are over reactions, and aren't thing I shouldn't be ashamed of. All those years of being afraid of being seen as crazy and letting my mom do all the talking when she wouldn't ever say half the stuff I told her, and I talked to this woman for over an hour about things I never mentioned to other doctors. I know, I know I won't stop talking about this shit, it just went so much better than I expected, I got more answers than I thought I would. All of the info went over so much better than I thought.]][center [size10 Also Suga saying she's proud of me makes me feel so much better than I already feel. Like it doesn't seem like a big deal for me to go see a shrink, but as someone with out insurance this is progress, it's been years. I go back in two weeks, Ali prolly won't be pleased but hey whatever she'll live I need this.]]
  woo me / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 55d 22h 39m 1s
[left [pic http://i.imgur.com/EZtV9Dm.gif]][center [size10 Sooooo, back from the shrinky dink, and in the nice cool a.c. with food in my tum tum and a headache from continuous attempts to look at the sky only to be greeted with "hey that hurts don't do that" only cause i was tryna see where in the eclipse we were [s [size10 which i already know is dumb af]]. So the verdict is that the abuse that I hate to call abuse was actually abuse and not just me over reacting. I'm officially diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder, a.k.a Gender Dysphoria. Also my hallucinations are most likely due to my bipolar and my mood swings just being that violent as in they switch super fast and with out me noticing, which isn't a surprise. The shit where I wanna rip my skin off is just my sensory disorder. She said I should get a referral for a neurologist to get the spectrum stuff double checked. And best of all, I have DID, better known as multiple personality disorder, so that's a thing now. Apparently she wants to talk about my personalities more because my case isn't the typical case and it intrigues her. I guess my mom and her shitty ex husband get some kudos since they called that DID shit back when Morte popped up the first time and they found my journal. Oh well. I'll prolly tell her about that but not the GID only cause she fucking ignores it without a diagnosis so why bother.]]
[center [size10 All in all I could use a nap but HBO has Band of Brothers on demand so I'mma watch at least an episode or two before I head home to put off sleep further and play some vidya games.]]
  woo me / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 56d 12m 41s
[center Xanax is my friend that's all.][center I'm going back to sleep]
[center ----------------------------------------------]
[center these children however are not helpful and are noisy af.]
  woo me / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 56d 9h 38m 0s
[center [pic http://i.imgur.com/IzfigXm.gif]]
[center Forever forgetting just how tall Zico actually is lol]
  admin / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 57d 13h 58m 14s
[center [size10 Sorry to say you're kind of fucking stupid]][center [size10 The Shit you're doing doesn't make sense worth a shit]][center [size10 you smarter than this boo please use your brain]]
  woo me / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 58d 5h 39m 57s
[center [size11 If I applied for this show I'd need to get a passport and idk if Ali would fund that just cause I [i might] get picked for a tv show. But god damn it'd be nice to at least try. Because I want to visit Korea so bad and actually be able to properly learn about the culture outside of just what I see on Youtube and the shows I watch on mnet. I might still try, I really need to figure out what I want to say in my application video but damn where do I start??? I'm the worst at talking about myself and I stumble over my words, especially knowing what I'd be making the video for. fml I gotta do this, I gotta try, and hope I can talk ali into getting me a passport.]]
  woo me / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 59d 1h 16m 35s
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