⌜ANTI⌟

/ By sinssbinss [+Watch]

Replies: 188 / 143 days 2 hours 51 seconds

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  1. [Allowed] Penomeco
  2. [Allowed] Crush9244
  3. [Allowed] Keunakeun
  4. [Allowed] deantrbl
  5. [Allowed] KOKOBOP
  6. [Allowed] Mino
  7. [Allowed] Zico
  8. [Allowed] jparkitrighthere
  9. [Allowed] Winner
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  11. [Allowed] younghotyellow94
  12. [Allowed] Dareek
  13. [Allowed] fkuropinion
  14. [Allowed] Shinjiru
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  16. [Allowed] Ao
  17. [Allowed] Aka
  18. [Allowed] Maboroshi
  19. [Allowed] Slytherin
  20. [Allowed] Indra
  21. [Allowed] 9S
  22. [Allowed] Sik-k
  23. [Allowed] Taeil


[center [+white fack]][center [pic http://i.imgur.com/iFGhIYQ.gif]][center [size9 Just a journal/storage thread for me, myself, and I]][center [size9 If anything in here offends you it's not my problem tbh.]][center [size9 I can't help if the shoe fits. Most of the shit I say in here]][center [size9 about [u [size10 ANYONE]] will wind up vague af anyways.]]
[center [https://youtu.be/nByyfquk0pQ ⦻]][center [+white shit]]

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Roleplay Responses

[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/fpxVI5X.gif]][center [size10 You know what, I'm better now. I still miss my boy, and you know it is still hella fucked up what sharon did but I'm okay. I know that Bruce seems to think sharon wouldn't have kicked me out to live on the streets and would have figured I had somewhere to go but I can't even possibly think of giving that thing that amount of credit. How tf would she have known she never talked to me about my life enough to fucking know. But no, it's okay 100% it still tears me up from time to time but these two give me so much support and love it's not even funny. They both have methods of doing it too. Yeah me and Clair have had some little attitude issues, but we so much alike that we kind of just calm down and apologize like 50 times over. Then there's bro who is structure for me and helps build me up and gives me some hope. He also gives me hella praise for work well done which is all i've ever fucking wanted. I found THE apartments for us and he still gives me praise for that shit cause all three of us fucking love that shit. I cleaned up the room last night like he told me to and I was given praise. Clair even praised me cause apparently she'd never seen me move like that and tbh that's all I need. I need someone who will give me a task and acknowledge when I do a job well done. Then tonight I've decided to do the thing he kind of just casually mentioned I could do if I wanted and I will get praise for that. It's so funny how simple it is for a man who has known me for like a year at best is so willing to hand that shit out but the woman who raised me couldn't even do it.]]
[center [size10 Oh well, I just gotta keep remembering who she is to me now, a memory, just like the rest of my blood. They did help mold me, but I'm stronger with out them, all they did was tear me down and bring back a past that I honestly should just move on from. Being out of the house is what I needed just like I thought. So if anything she actually did do something good for me in the end.]]
  admin / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 12d 20h 37m 22s
[center [size10 We went to 7 eleven after i went to buy cigs at circle k and there was a guy working there with a septum ring and a chest tattoo and I kept thinking that we were twinsies then it turned out he was also trans and so I was like "we twinsies cause we trans, got septum piercings, and chest tattoos" and tbh idr what he said in response but apparently he was eyeing me and flirting and like i was oblivious af cause i didn't notice that. like apparently even before i mentioned i was trans he was looking pretty hard and had more interest in me than clair or bro. this shit has happened before but like i don't notice these fucking cues man. like if you dig me you gotta be like "yo i'd tap that" or "yo lemme take you out on a date" i don't notice this shit right away at all.]][center [size10 Also we prolly gonna move back close to the area of my old house in about 6ish months just to get the fuck outta this place and all the drama bullshit, it's not our preferred place, nor is it our final destination but it'll do for now. Clair's mom keeps mentioning how i need to get a job cause I have nowhere to go but when bro and clair leave so am I but the lack of faith she has that we can do it is ridiculous. Apparently I should get a job to help save up but bro says I'm doing the right thing tryna get disability. so it's whatever tbvh lol]]
  ooc / Taeil / 13d 14h 31m 14s
[center [size10 I thought shit was gob a get ugly last night but instead of everything exploding or falling apart it kind of just got stacked up even neater than it was before. Do you know how much bro almost crushed me tho 10/10 best way to die would recommend. Much tears bond strengthened if I do that shit again he better punch me]]
  ooc / Taeil / 18d 9h 49m 10s
[center When people say they love kpop but only listen to bts][center [pic https://i.imgur.com/DsktlvQ.jpg]]

[center When people call artists like crush, dean, and jay park kpop][center [pic https://i.imgur.com/DsktlvQ.jpg]]

[center When people call veteran artists/groups underrated][center [pic https://i.imgur.com/DsktlvQ.jpg]]

[center When you wanna talk about korean music in general with someone but all they like are the hella mainstream artists and you just over there with nothing to contribute because you're hella multifandom and don't obsess over the mainstream artists nearly as much as some people so you gotta just finger gun your way outta that conversation][center [pic https://i.imgur.com/DsktlvQ.jpg]]

[center When armys started saying sm obviously paid mnet and couldn't possibly cope with the idea that parts of their fandom are actually toxic enough to have committed voting fraud and be banned][center [pic https://i.imgur.com/DsktlvQ.jpg]]

[center When fandoms][center [pic https://i.imgur.com/DsktlvQ.jpg]]
  admin / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 22d 4h 52m 19s
[center Someone: BTS is so talented and their choreography is probably the best out there][center Me, a multi fandom intellect:][center [youtube https://youtu.be/iq6s1mCT9BI]][center [s [size10 I could prolly show like 10 other examples but lbh i ain't spamming that many videos lol]]][center [size10 This goes out to exo-l's too cause like booooy i love both groups but some of y'all wearing hella blinders and missing out on some good shit and then come and comment on some groups videos like "whoa where they been?!" like the been in my heart getting my love while you been off clinging to bigger named groups idk how some of y'all miss they hella amazing groups tbh how does it feel to somehow be oblivious to these groups and sleep on em all day i mean i would fucking punch myself like wtf is wrong with y'all shame on you ain't nobody say you gotta learn their names but at least like know who tf they are damn ain't that hard my friends]]
  9S / 22d 6h 18m 53s
[+white ][center [youtube https://youtu.be/Hzhi3UhH-ls]]
  ᵒᵒᶜ / 9S / 22d 6h 48m 56s
[center [size10 idk why i'm even awake i was until like 7 am wtf i might just go lay back down and then make sure I get up later to do my korean and then play just a tad bit of tera]
[center [size10 Also i love reading a good ol' "debate" on why systematic racism doesn't exist with white people tryna act like they know shit. like if you ain't living it don't inject yourself into it??? I mean unless you're willing to actually listen to people who see that shit maybe just keep to yourself i mean idk man. this is why I don't get involved in this shit i'm too white to have a right to argue it but fuck if I don't acknowledge how people talk about shit and how they treat certain people cause lolololol.]][center [size10 Also pretty sure my kidney hella fucking up cause when I went to bed it was doing the weird throbby pressure pain and now that I'm awake I'm having those intense af hungry pangs. Seriously hoping that it doesn't get worse between now and next week cause otherwise i might have to find a way to the er, hell even after my physical i might have to just like go to the er cause idk how long it would take me to get my bitch ass checked out properly.]]
  ᵒᵒᶜ / 9S / 22d 7h 23s
[center over here listening to sik-k then this shit hits me cause lol I ain't good for relationships man][center [youtube https://youtu.be/X8pVl9G5LLI]]
  9S / 23d 20h 31m 27s
[center randomly got some cute ass avater shit on tera. I'm what I did to deserve it but helloooo. Also working towards another avatar weapon and also just grinding to level up my brawler. If I can get her to level 40 I can get me a reaper Elin and I will be mucho happy about that.]
[center all in all my boi gonna be gone until Sunday at least but so far tera is doing well for me and I hope he proud of my progress when he comes back]
  ᵒᵒᶜ / 9S / 23d 22h 37m 24s
[center [size10 time for music and Disassociation]][center [size10 hopefully I sleep better tomorrow idk why tf I'm feeling like this.]][center [size10 I need to mention to Clair I need her to sign my paperwork so I can send it out before my 60 days is up and I have to full on reapply]]
  ᵒᵒᶜ / 9S / 24d 23h 12m 45s
[center [s [size10 I wasn t gonna talk about him in the group chat cause I don't wanna make him feel weird but oops.]]][center [size10 one day imma slip up and say some shit about him and then imma kick myself and it gonna be awkward or maybe not I'm Maaaaan fucking shoot me right tf now before I say some stupid shit. Like watch me say some shit about how I adore his company and he sees that shit I will fucking die r.i.p me I lived a long life full of embarrasment.]][center [size10 wait wtf why am I being like this someone please slap the Fuck out of me and give me my sense back cause I'm who I am fuckkkkk]]
  ᵒᵒᶜ / 9S / 25d 16h 42m 53s
[center [size10 in other news]][center [size20 I deserve happiness and attention and affection.]][center [size20 I deserve someone who is going to treat me right and not like some toy they can play with]][center [size10 I deserve the simple pleasure of playing video games with him while chilling on discord]][center [size10 Honestly I deserve so much more than I give myself credit for.]][center [size10 I don't deserve abuse or neglect. I deserve love, no matter what form and I get that already. I have people proud of me for pushing myself and doing shit for myself and living despite how much I wish I wasn't. I'm worth far more than THEY could even think I was. I need to stop letting the shit they've said and will say about me get to me. I know I say those things too when I got a low but I just need to remember that those are just angry hurtful words that were used to beat me down. It's actually scary to think even someone I went to school with words it that way pretty much. I'm allowed to acknowledge their treatment towards me but I should honestly stop giving it so much power.]]
  ᵒᵒᶜ / 9S / 25d 17h 10m 42s
[center [size10 Honestly I wish we could have just kept playing Tera for hours but I'm too tired to be able to focus on it and you even admitted you were ready to sleep. It's not just because I enjoyed it with you but also because it's nice to have something so simple to full time and distract me and honestly I dont look forward to today. Even if she lets me sleep all day it makes me wonder what she plans on doing in the yard and if she'll come in the house so she can have something to complain about. But alas, I'll just hope today goes well so I can play again with him. It's nice and Friday Clair should be joining us. It's not exactly the preferred introduction to Ruben for her but it will do and we can all bond over a video game. ❤❤❤❤]]
[center [size10 idk if it's the video games or your company I enjoy more, maybe it's a little bit of both. Idk but I hope this becomes our regular thing because it's so simple but so very much appreciated by me and holy Fuck I hope you never get to see any of this weird shit I write about you because honestly it might weird you out lol]]
  ᵒᵒᶜ / 9S / 25d 17h 26m 56s
[left [pic https://i.imgur.com/pvA0ySf.gif]][center [size10 This is so fucking stupid. I don't want a relationship. I don't NEED a relationship. I'm pulling this stupid shit where I'm trying to fill this stupid void and trying to fix myself with attention and affection that I shouldn't even be worrying about. I know i prolly need the attention and affection but I also can't bring myself to want to subject someone to any of my other fucking issues. I just want someone to love on me when I get like this. I know what I'm doing now at least and honestly I think the only reason I'm dealing with this shit again is cause I'm having to confront shit that I tried to ignore for the longest time. When I dated Dylan he even mentioned that I have this fucking void that I try to fill because of my father, well guess what buddy, it's now not just one hole it's like two or it's like doubled in size idfk but it's cause of my mother and my father and it's just the stupidest shit and I fucking can't stand it. I have a need to be loved and to love but I'm in no condition for either. Or maybe that's just what I love to tell myself because I also just feel like I don't deserve that. idk it's annoying. I'd rather shit be simple but that's asking for far too much and hella unfair of me lol]][center [size10 Then again it prolly just fuels it more seeing other people have people who compliment them so well and are their fucking pillars and then I'm over here trying to like hold myself together with fucking duct tape and some how i'm fucking managing but it's so fucking tiring and I wish I had someone who would just take over when I was tired. I know morte is supposed to do that but he's just doing his own fucking thing right now and trying to let me do shit since he really can only do so much irl. fml why do i have the genetics to live a long "happy" life. Just fucking end me now.]]
  안단테 / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 25d 23h 55m 27s
[center [size10 I wanna disassociate so bad right now but I'm fighting it. Its taking all this energy just to come up with responses. He took the time to let me know he was out of his work thing finally the least I can do is ask him what it was and how it went. I'm making this harder than it should be and I feel stupid. I'm not worth being in a relationship. I thought tell him would be a good idea but all I'm doing now is beating myself up because I'm a burden emotionally and financially for anyone into that way. Which is a reason I usually dont bother or worry about relationships because I know it would take someone really willing to take the reigns and be my pillar and shit right now. I also don't want to put that burden on anyone either. I'm fucking stupid I'll prolly be over all this by the time I wake up.]]
  안단테 / AdminSWAGistrator / sinssbinss / 26d 21h 25m 7s
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