최하부

/ By Sangwoo [+Watch]

Replies: 143 / 152 days 4 hours 28 seconds

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[center [pic http://i.imgur.com/HwfcII7.png]]
[center [size10 A place for myself. Kindly get the fuck out. Have a nice day.]]

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Roleplay Responses

[Center [size10 Haha.. how fucking funny.. I put up with mood swings and getting bitched at and go out of my way to help or show concern when it's not even my nature to do so.. and yet in my once in a blue moon weak moment.. you'd be too fragile to even fucking try.. best not to try when you're feelings might get hurt over something I might say but god forbid I ever get an attitude about taking your shit all the time]]
[Center [size10 Forget it. As far as I'm concerned, everyone can just forget me. Everyone on es has already gotten the memo to do so, so the rest of you can fucking follow suit. It was a damn mistake to ever get close to anyone and you can be fucking sure I'm not letting it happen again any time soon.]]
  -ᴍᴜɴ- / Sangwoo / 30d 3h 26m 27s
[H3 ]
[Center [size10 How is it that I can suddenly feel what loss is like? Or atleast whatever small capacity I have for it compared to others. Perhaps if I could feel normally like other people, I wouldn't be as emotionally stable as I am, because just this little smidge of the feeling is driving me nuts. So if I felt it to the extent that others do, then I think maybe I'd actually fall apart..]]
[Center [size10 My best buds, my son.. even my own mate.. the thought of loss with them does little to scare me. I of course would rather have them around than not. But I don't feel I'd be much hindered if they were gone. I'd move on.. so why this? Why now? Why am I honestly so fucking bothered by this that I'd make a god damn post about it..? Again.. a mate a son.. and still.. I get the feeling that I've lost the best thing that's ever happened to me..]]
[Center [size10 It may not seem like much to others but to someone like me who doesn't form attachments worth shit.. being able to admit to my family.. myself.. hell, even him, that I found myself not wanting to lose him.. that maybe.. I wouldn't be unphased if I lost him..]]
[Center [size10 Yet here I am.. getting that sensation. Feeling what normal people feel.. and I haven't even officially lost him. So what gives? He hasn't said he's leaving. I haven't said I'm leaving.. we just.. haven't talked in a while. Who am I becoming? Feeling this terrible thing over a short while of not talking?]]
[Center [size10 Perhaps its because he was exactly what I told him he was. That perfect blend of me being detached.. and attached. Without meaning to make it sound like I'm in love or anything.. he quite literally was everything I wanted. That link to how I was before coming here. That tether to my "past life". Without him.. I just.. slowly became that guy that people hear was a big deal and not to mess with him but everyone knows shit isn't gunna happen for real anyway so it really doesn't matter anymore. I felt alive again talking to him. As close to being back in my own body as I can be while being cramped in a body with so many others.]]
[Center [size10 And to put the cherry on the cake, he knew about my past. What I was. And he was okay with it. Whether for my benefit or not, he played along and it felt so nice. He seemed, as far as I could tell, to enjoy it too. Didn't have to tame what I said or felt around him. Or what part of my past I could tell him. It was all just open and okay for us.]]
[Center [size10 But now, as I feel this sliver of emotion.. every fiber of my being is screaming at me to run. Run and get the fuck out. Get away because any attachment big enough to elicit an emotional response like this is a danger to my well being. To my emotional and maybe even mental stability. How do normal people do this so much when just this once is pulling me apart. The first bit of actual humanity I feel and all I want to do is get away.. but this new feeling.. it terrifyingly strong.. this one little tiny bit of it.. is nearly enough to overide all of my instincts. It makes me want to cling to him and refuse to let go. But what will that do to me in the end? Who will I be then?]]
[Center [size10 So fight, my instincts.. fight and tear apart any emotion I feel towards another that makes me want to fight for anyone but myself. Rip it to shreds and wherever it came from, tear it apart to where nothing like this will ever see the light of day again. Save me before I let myself crumble and become somebody else. Destroy my attachment.. before my attachment for my perfect little victim destroys me..]]
  -ʜᴜsʙᴀɴᴅ- / Sangwoo / 32d 2h 47m 43s
[H3 ]
[Center [size10 There's that flight trigger response again. Welcome back, bud.]]
  -ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀᴇᴅ- / Sangwoo / 33d 11h 30m 4s
[H3 ]
[Center [size10 We have a few days of things going well and then everything goes to shit. Cokes were on sale and you got some for everybody except me. Now they aren't on sale but I still need them cause I'm having caffine headaches but you don't give a damn. I could go get em but I'm honestly just wondering when you're gunna give a shit enough to think about going and getting them for me since you're the one that thought about everyone but me. Not to mention you not calling the dentist yesterday and I wake up today to find out... wow our phone service is off. Should have called yesterday shouldn't you!? Now you CAN'T call. I paid the fuckin phone bill so why the fuck is the service off? What did you screw up this time? I didn't pay over 200 dollars that could have been used towards getting my wisdom teeth pulled to NOT HAVE FUCKING PHONES THIS MONTH. You're making it so hard to wanna help you get shit done, lady. Cause you don't give a shit about helping me either when I need it. And like hell this helping thing is gunna be one sided.]]
  -ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀᴇᴅ- / Sangwoo / 36d 50m 46s
[H3 ]
[Center [size10 I am sick. Of everything. Fuck everyone and fuck this shitty house.]]
  -ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀᴇᴅ- / Sangwoo / 36d 19h 6m 5s
[Center [size10 If Monday comes and goes and no one has called about trying to find out the cost of getting this molar pulled, Im gunna fucking fight someone. Weve paid off nearly 200 from the work we've already gotten done so that'd help a little but fuck, I need to know how much more it's gunna be. This molar has GOT to come out asap. And they're just acting like its a broken nail or some shit. Like "oh its fine. Dont worry about it". Bitch this tooth is fucking up my bite now. Can you try to act like it's the problem that it is? I don't regret getting Bakari cause she's a sweet little peach but damn I wish this tooth had come in before we got her so I could have put that money towards the wisdom tooth instead. If I'd saved that money for anything else his grandmother wouldve taken it but hopefully... HOPEFULLY she wouldnt fuck with what we'd need to use for our wisdom teeth.]]
  -ᴄɪɢ- / Sangwoo / 39d 21h 20m 36s
[center [size10 Fuck this night and fuck doing anything with anyone. Goodnight world. Time to go get lost in videos alone like I fucking hate doing.]]
  -ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀᴇᴅ- / Sangwoo / 41d 15h 32m 8s
Honestly Id just rather be celibate at this point..
  -ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀᴇᴅ- / Sangwoo / 43d 12h 5m 54s
[Center [size10 Nevermind that either I guess. Oops]]
  -ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀᴇᴅ- / Sangwoo / 44d 14h 12m 16s
[Center [size10 Idk what to do about this anymore. I want to do shit but it seems like they just aren't into it. Maybe I'll go to Victor again. It's been a while.]]
  -ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀᴇᴅ- / Sangwoo / 44d 14h 15m 30s
[center [size10 Hahh. Fuck, this is new. I've been doing so well holding back urges and now it finally hit me for the first time in the nearly 4 months I've been taking care of the body. Dammit.. My chest is so tight I can barely breathe and the room feels about 10 degrees hotter than it probably is. Might have to do something to remedy this that the body hasn't done in so long. Yeah, shit that sounds fucking great right now. I'm bout to not be the best person to be out anymore. Heh.]]
  -ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀᴇᴅ- / Sangwoo / 46d 22h 37m 27s
[Center [size10 I've never been so happy and excited yet so devastated in such quick succession before. My heart is broken. I'm such a weak man.]]

[Center [size10 -Hitoshi]]
  Sangwoo / 50d 2h 35m 8s
[Center [size10 Good night. Didnt get anything done that I wanted today... but good night. Laughed alot more than I have in a long time. Wish Victor was there for it all though. Ah well. Maybe tomorrow will be more productive.]]
  -ᴍᴜɴ- / Sangwoo / 52d 16h 44m 24s
[center [size10 Yuh, "I don't get involved with people friends and shit people whet fuck ew" bitch then what about like.. the ordeal with Rin and Chris yo? Oh right. Hypocrite. Now that's a hypocrite. If i wanted to also work on that myself, I wouldn't be telling you to mind your own business. But I can say that I want you to mind your own business even if I've already accepted that I'm not gunna fucking do it. That's not hypocrisy, that's just being a shit person lol.]]
  -ᴄɪɢ- / Sangwoo / 52d 21h 17m 48s
[Center [size10 Hah. Okay. Hard to chew people up when you got no teeth. But believe me people wanna stay away with or without your empty threats. You can't do shit bruh don't play.]]
  -ᴄɪɢ- / Sangwoo / 56d 4h 36m 31s
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