тea and вooĸѕ

/ By _Siren_ [+Watch]

Replies: 52 / 165 days 20 hours 19 minutes 32 seconds

Allowed Users

  1. [Allowed] Astral-
  2. [Allowed] _Wolf_
  3. [Allowed] -Ikigai
  4. [Allowed] -Sonder


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[center [Architects+Daughter [size18 This is my personal journal that I share with my sissy look if you want but don't comment, unless we actually care about your opinion.]]]

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Roleplay Responses

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[center [Architects+Daughter [size16 My mother brings out the worst in me, I can just feel myself getting angrier. I almost sent a passive aggressive message to someone and it wasnt even their fault. Theres just so much negative energy with my mother here that i am going to explode.
i cant deal with them.
  єli / -Siren / 18h 39m 16s
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[center [Architects+Daughter [size14 which is why im making salmon and rice at midnight.
  -Siren / 1d 17h 44m 1s
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[center [Architects+Daughter [size14 Muse drama gunna be the death of me i swear to god.
do any of yall have any chill?
  єli / -Siren / 3d 15h 23m 37s
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[center [Architects+Daughter [size14 Finally finished 12 work days in a row, I'm emotionally and physically drained, I'm so glad to be home in my bed; I have my cat, my friends, my muses, and my tea. Time to watch the anxiety and tension slip away.
  -Siren / 4d 19h 52m 58s
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[center [size16 [Shadows+Into+Light Fuck that bath was something I needed. I know smell amazing and sparkle. :3

It felt good to just relax.

Now to do some personal muses. Yay
  _Wolf_ / 7d 14h 37m 15s
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[center [Architects+Daughter [size14 I'm in love with this song I listened to it literally 40 times in a row last night
  -Siren / 11d 8h 34m 1s
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[center [Architects+Daughter [size14 I blocked Shea's girlfriend finally. I was tired of her coming at me and attacking me or giving me unsolicited condescending "advice". I brought it up to Shea and said "I dont appreciate your girlfriend messaging me and treating me like an idiot" and she said "not my problem. i cant control her i wont control her. you dont like it block her" so i said "Alright no youre right, thank you for your advice" and blocked her, and Shea was reeling back because she didnt expect me to just block Kylie like that and even tried to get me to undo it and i said "I get shes trying to help but shes being condescending and her message was unwarrented. You told me if i didnt like it to block her so I did and im going to leave her blocked for now." and yeah fun night.

But hey. At least i reconnected with Mama, I've missed her. She helped me through the shea problem
  -Siren / 18d 16h 9m 49s
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[center [Architects+Daughter [size14 I got my new pleco Meggies named him Mozart and hes a little shyer than Goliath but still precious all the same
  -Siren / 18d 19h 28m 53s
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[center [size16 [Shadows+Into+Light I finished Zsadist's book. UGH
THE.FUCKING.FEELS.
THE.FUCKING.LOVE
I.JUST.FUCKING.CAN'T

;-;

Now on the Butch's book. FUCK. I don't want to deal with Marissa. God that bitch annoys me.

My day will be consisting of working on catching up with muses, possibly starting to write what I need to write up, and then games with Twinnie.

Should be a good day.
  тrιѕнa / _Wolf_ / 19d 3h 52m 35s
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[center [size16 [Shadows+Into+Light When you are in your phone, and accidentally click on a thread.

So the guy messages you and thinks you are stallings

Nah fam my phone is wacked the Fuck Out. XD
  тrιѕнa / _Wolf_ / 20d 18h 22m 30s
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[center [Architects+Daughter [size14 nothing like waking up to screaming and fighting.
  єli / -Siren / 21d 6h 27m 12s
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[center [Architects+Daughter [size14 i spoke to my a counselor today, it was only intake but i think that it went very well. I told her my goals were not just to cope with anxiety because i have all the coping strategies from previous therapists. I told her instead i wanted to grow from my anxiety and eventually not have to worry about things triggering my panic and the symptoms of my anxiety conflicting with my daily life and she got really excited and told me that herself and another counselor named Mia were specifically trained in trauma healing through EMDR which focuses on allowing the trauma related anxiety as well as things like stress and even performance anxiety, and like a whole bunch of things, to be metabolized by your brain through eye movements, tapping, and stimulating nerves when going over those experiences and it has had a lot of success so she wants me to try that. She also told me that I seem very insightful towards my anxiety and that she thinks that my mind has already begun the healing process. She also warned me that it could get worse again before it got better but that I dont have to worry. Even though im currently on a waiting list im considered medium to high priority and if at any time i believe i need to be moved up on the list immediately it would happen, and that I also have the option to do "one time counseling" sessions which are ment for more current issues, or ranting, or if someone needs advice or someone to talk to that is an option for me.

All in all I think it went pretty well today.

On a side note I hate my period and I dont know why the doctor insists on me keeping my defective uterus e.e oh well.

On a totally separate side note ive come to a lot of acceptance in the last day or so specifically with certain thoughts that enter my mind. I'm tired of this "everything is horrible and nothing will get better" feeling because that's not true. It will get better it already has. Right now things look depressing but you know that cheesy saying "after the rain comes the rainbow and im gay so surely that saying is double true for Me? I'm not going to let myself feel down about things any more. And I'm not going to hold onto the sadness and hurt feelings. There's no point in it. Life is far too short to be sitting so negatively on things, and i have more important things and people to think about. I guess I could say I am willing myself to be happy and doing things I love that I stopped doing like singing, reading, cooking, cuddling my animals, going for walks, and watching movies with my father, doing those things again has really improved my mental health and it's only been a day which means it will only get better with more time.

Finally I think im doing much better than I was this time last year when I had just broken up with my boyfriend and my anxiety and depression was very high. I dont push arguments as badly, I still do it sometimes but im learning its okay to walk away and how to turn off my constant fight response to everything. I appreciate it when people tell me that I'm doing some things that are manipulative because then I can stop and reevaluate my thought process and step back. I am happy to say im not as passive aggressive as I was, though i am still working on It, and i am also happy to say that im working to control my obsessive watching when it comes to people who've hurt me or angered me. I haven't clicked Es profile is days only once accidentally and I left immediately.
Yay!
  єli / -Siren / 21d 22h 23m 35s
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[center [size16 [Shadows+Into+Light I think I have been given somewhat of a break.

My computer is fucking somewhat working. Somewhat. We still have a long ass way to go.

Dina was helpful and Meditation was fucking amazing. I needed that.

Now to get rid of my insomnia and stop only getting 4 hours of on and off sleep.
  тrιѕнa / _Wolf_ / 21d 23h 11m 36s
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[center [size16 [Shadows+Into+Light Mentally exhausted. I want to to sleep. But my brain won’t shut down.

I just want my computer fixed. I just want it to work again.

Insomnia needs to stop controlling my life. I want to sleep.
But I suppose i’ll Just read and snuggles Vehngeance and Wolfe.
  тrιѕнa / _Wolf_ / 22d 15h 7m 13s
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[center [size16 [Shadows+Into+Light I am struggling so bad right now. I can’t deal with her emotions. They confuse me and make me upset.

I don’t know how to help her in the battle with herself.

God I just wish I knew what to do. Because now battling with my own emotions, I’m now battling with hers.
  тrιѕнa / _Wolf_ / 23d 3h 8m 48s
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