She tilted her head at him. That was too many complex and confusing emotions for her to follow. "Then the people that matter to you you don't matter to them," she concluded, "After all, if you meant that much to them, then they would understand." At least that's what she thought a human would say. Personally, she would throw out anyone that disagreed with the course he chose to follow.
"I didn't let you figure anything out," she replied, not sure what else to say to that. She at least hadn't wanted him to figure anything out. Listening to what he described next, she didn't know what to say. It struck a cord inside her that she didn't care to think on, if she didn't have to. If he looked into her eyes now, he would see something that reminded him of a haunting as well of a similar incident.
She didn't know what to say. What did humans say in these situations? Slowly she moved forward slightly and touched his hand ever so slightly. "I'm... Sorry," she said slowly, not sure at all what to do. Maybe that was the reason that drow didn't do these situations. There were too many landmines to step on.
"I realize..that most people could see it that way, but..yes they can judge me for that. The people who I think matter most will start by hating me, and the people under my command who wouldn't question it or try to kill me..I would most likely despise."He told her, after all it would be the same things taught to them that led the nation wherever it was now currently. He shrugged a bit "I have been away for a long time."He told her, it must be at least eight or so years at this point.
He knew she was trying to read something about him so, her response trying to present the opposite seemed in line with how she typically tried to be anyway and he simply offered her a shrug. "I only figured out what you let me so far." Even if it was unintentional, and even if she would disagree with some of it, it was true. She revealed a lot more than she believed with her eyes usually, at least to him. It wasn't a way of trying to figure something out about her though. "I did. I saw firsthand..the ruthless nature of the people I was ordering around and.."He didn't like thinking about it, but it was one of the most real things he could have experienced. "We had to remove a village..they..attracted bandits..and therefore didn't produce enough..to warrant a breach like that. We needed an outpost there instead.."His eyes sort of zoned out which was new, a blank stare forming, "There were..plenty of children..but right in front of me they were cut down..and I realized what a terrible..person I was for even allowing things like this to happen so freely."
"Then you make them see differently. What you are doing now is clearly not butchering. Besides, I shall assume you were in their service so calling you a butcher for following orders is hardly something they can judge over," she pointed out, "Probably? How long have you been away from your kingdom?" Probably a while.
Even if she was trying to read him, she had no chance. She didn't understand him one bit. "And what makes you think I want to ask anything?" she asked, giving him a look, "Even if I did, I wouldn't know where to start. You are just one big question mark. Or is this your way of trying to figure something out about me?" She wouldn't put it past him, that was for sure.
Still, she thought on it. "So you did those things under the command of your kingdom?" she asked, "And then left them after a truly bad occurrence?" She wasn't sure what to ask him. What did humans talk about?
"You can't easily just go back and be king at a place that labels you a butcher. Besides..It's probably not my turn yet. Probably." The word of course not referring to meat, it was most likely referring to that tale he told before, having to command to kill innocents wasn't easy. It had it's toll with him already, which might be why he was trying to make amends, maybe why that village that was nice to him meant so much. He had no idea what number down the line it got to, but he couldn't be far away.
He was curious as he looked her over, and she was clearly trying to do the same to him now, they were both trying to read each other it seemed. He wanted to take this opportunity in a way, "Ask away."He told her, noticing she seemed to be trying to understand something puzzling to her, even if it was just his entirety. He was willing to be the open one if not to ease her down a bit. He was perceptive if nothing else, though she probably knew that already.
The silence in this place was close to killing her. She couldn't read him, couldn't understand him and it frustrated her. When he asked that question she looked to him, unsure what to say or if she should say anything at all.
"I take pride in still being alive," she finally reply slowly, "On my terms. That I survived til now." Maybe it made no sense to him, but it didn't need to make sense. Maybe she was just tired of running and surviving at this point. She didn't know.
She shrugged at what he said. "To each his own. You would probably make a good king, I suppose," she told him truthfully. At least he was nicer than any ruler she had come across so far. Still, she sat back down, still close to him so she could look at him better. Somehow it seemed easier to be close to him than far apart, maybe because she had the advance when it came to agility in closed spaces.
He still didn't exactly pick up on what she thought her pride was. Still he would think on the things she said regardless. He understood what she meant, but he wanted to see her more driven to get away from the people that would do that to her in the first place. If she didn't see it as an option he'd have to make it so. The smallest thought crossing his mind about why he would do such a thing for someone he had merely..saved. There was just something that seemed right about seeing her through to a better life. Some unknown syncronicity between them. "What is it that you take pride in?"He asked her, genuinely curious, since it seemed she mostly only did what she was told, forced to do what she was told, if she had to cling to whatever she could get. "It's no higher than not becoming king is it?"He replied, completely okay with how high his goals were set and clearly showing so.
If she had the chance to rule, she would. Not that she ever would, but the thought of possibly making a change or at least treating people differently than she had been treated was something she liked the thought of. It surprised her that he didn't seem to want to do that.
It irritated her that he didn't back down one bit, their eyes still blazing at one another as they sat close across from one another. "When you don't have anything that belongs to you, then you take what you can get, be that pride or something else," she retorted. He didn't get it. Not just being able to walk away from something. "You make me angry!" she snapped. She couldn't explain it. Few people got under her skin, but he was with every word, good or bad, he got underneath and it drove her wild.
She didn't see the point of dreaming of something that would probably not happen. The few times she had dreamed, they had been crushed and it broke her more. "You sure are setting your goals high," she pointed out as she looked to him, "My pride is worth more to me than you can imagine." Her hand ran through her hair with an exasperated sound.
He could agree, he didn't like his kingdom. He also didn't think that they would proceed according to his wishes, they wouldn't want him to be king even if he had to be. He wondered if he should do so, just for a chance to change it. He noticed she was growing angrier, but that didn't hide it from being closer to the truth, no matter what slap she would place on his face, her defense hadn't been very strong against it.
Even after her slap, he still didn't back down even a little bit. His eyes returned her ferocity. "It sounds like..your pride, is worth more than your life. Which as of now, belongs to someone else. Both your pride and your life. Which, both things, you're willing to throw away, just because you feel it's some sort of tradition or something, that you will gain nothing from."He shook his head a bit, "You being so angry about it doesn't convince me."He informed her, and obviously at this point he knew more about her than she wanted him to. Even in her dream she wanted to actually get away from this all. "I'll find a way to get rid of them tracking your tattoo then..maybe I'll see what your pride is worth after that."
Slightly confused she looked at him. "So you don't like your own kingdom?" she asked, "Though, if you became king, you could change it, couldn't you? Perhaps, you should reconsider it." Though it was clear he had a strong dislike for his family.
She had to hand it to him that he didn't back away and instead stared her down did show some resolve. Her gaze stayed steady at what he said. "But there are a few that do and you are delusional, if you believe that with a bit of money they wouldn't be willing to find and kill me," she told him. The hand at her side that she had made into a fist was shaking dangerously. "Shut up," she growled between clenched teeth, her eyes now mostly a blue light.
The next part made her snap and her hand lightning fast pulled back and slapped him hard across the face. "Don't ever insult my pride. You know nothing about me or my abilities," she snapped at him, her voice shaking with anger. Once she had calmed down she would probably feel bad for slapping him, but right now it felt damn good to do that.
"I don't want to be king of that kingdom."He shook his head to the second part too, "I do not wear their emblem, I was branded at birth."He clarified. It was true enough, if something like that was forced upon you, it didn't mean you had to choose that anyway. Her glares gained no ground with his resolve and his face almost followed along with her's even as she got closer. His eyes sent back the same sort of blaze, his brows furrowed. "You know as well as I do the Underdark isn't something they'd traverse so far. So in a way, you would be unreachable, entrances and expeditions into it are far and few between themselves, they don't sprout up wherever." He still disagreed of course, "It's their right to kill you?? You're correct, why not act like a slave if you are one anyway then? So much pride to be found in people willing to be slaves."Maybe he was jabbing hard at her pride, but his words probably did have some weight, what pride was there in being a slave?
His face contorted slightly into her grin, "You don't know much about the tundra do you? Darkness might even be useful there, because it is kind of bright..and you would be far from ice fishing, much bigger and badder monsters and challenges were there. But you are right, I was assuming you had skill and swift movements, and were able to take down big monsters, like most drow seem to. But so far I've only seen you get yourself almost killed."Though this was mostly untrue, he didn't actually doubt she had skill.
Confused she pursed her lips lightly. "You hope? You have no aspiration to become king?" she asked, "I'm sure they would be able to find you, if they really tried, though I wonder... Do you not feel any sort of duty to the people whose emblem you wear?" That she couldn't understand at all.
She nodded at the hunting part. That made sense she supposed. Naturally, the part about her escaping and everything was a bit more controversial, to say the least. "Because you are so adamant that at some point I would be out of reach, which I doubt," she retorted, glaring at him, "And it would be their right to kill me." Her hand rolled into a fist.
The part about pride was a sore topic. "My pride is worth a lot to me. It's one of the few things I have," she snapped back, her eyes blazing, "And I'm not scared of them. You don't know anything about me!" In one swift movement she was on his side of the tent, her face close to his, glaring.
Her brow furrowed. "My skills? Turning things dark in a place that is dark half the time anyway? Yeah, I'm sure that's a huge help to them," she replied sarcastically, "Oh, and sitting in the tundra doing ice fishing isn't a needless waste? Sounds pretty dull to me." She sometimes couldn't understand him.
He shook his head a bit, "Well..I'll be hard enough to find I'd hope. We're pretty far from where that kingdom lays."He informed her, feeling like the worst case would be he was somehow caught up with. "I suppose monsters and if I get hungry enough some animals."He figured she knew that was currently his job anyway. "If I can find a good contract or two."
He rose an eyebrow as they continued with this topic though, she couldn't be this shortsighted he had hoped. "It would be a little irrelevant if you were too far to be reached I'd say."He didn't think her life could bring them much gain just by ending it. Her options didn't seem to be very good with going back either, "I believe we also established, they would sooner kill you than take you back for failing."He mentioned, which was most certainly going to be the case. He looked at her, noticing how her eyes were beginning to get a little challenging or something similar, "What is your pride worth? Are you not scared of them? You're so scared of them you'd rather go back and face death for the good of no one. I realize they must have taught you self-ruin but I think we've come far enough to both know that isn't what you want."He shook his head a little bit, "People are far more accepting out in the Tundra where your skills would be valued, besides this is just..for a final option. Instead of needless waste."
She shrugged slightly. "Just because you aren't there? It's quite simple. I don't know how many are before you in line for the throne. The first will die of old age or the war. The next will ascend, but there will be conflict with another and that will continue on until only you are left," she told him in a sober tone, "Hunting of animals or other things?"
His answer made it clear he still didn't get it. "Because I believe wr established, that with this tattoo they will find me and even if they don't go themselves, they will find someone to get me back, dead or alive. If that's my option, then I would rather admit a fault and be hopeful I don't die," she replied, playing with one of the many belt straps on her outfit.
She stated at him when he suggested that she hide in the snowy tundra. "You have got to be kidding me. I have my pride. I am not going to hide away from them and have them believe I'm scared of them. Especially not in a tundra," she retorted firmly, her blue eyes slightly blazing. That and in her outfit she had the feeling it would be a bit more than chilly to day the least.
He shook his head a bit, "I doubt I will end up the king."He stated, especially when he wasn't even there in the first place, how could he. He could agree with her though, "Yes, a leash."He let out a small breath. He chuckled a bit at his journey though, "I suppose it is. Hunting along the way." It was a certain kind of life, but it wasn't a bad one, and it was preferable to how his life used to be anyway. Her answer didn't make much sense to him though, "And hope they don't kill you?"He repeated, that was a little less than assuring. "Why would you not simply..not return if they would kill you?" It was sort of what they had been speaking of in a sense anyway, "I still believe if you were far enough away..it would be hard pressed for them to go out so far."He knew a place they could go where she would probably be safe. It wouldn't exactly be pleasant, but it would work for sure. "I could take you farther north if this doesn't work. Surely you wouldn't' be followed across the snowy tundra."
Her head tilted slightly, taking him in slowly. "So theoretically you are almost a king or something?" she pointed out, "Well, if they are warring, then I would be writing my coronation speech. It doesn't usually end well. So, in a way that case your tattoo is more a leash than anything else." That was probably the best word.
Shrugging at what he said, she replied, "I haven't tried to kill you in the last hour so I would say that is a sign of it without me saying it." Nodding at the village, she looked to him. "Your journey to nowhere," she pointed out before shrugging, "I suppose I'll end up trying to kill that king again. If I didn't die from that and don't succeed, I suppose I'll return and hope I am not killed." What more could she say to that? If she wasn't free, then there was no point in trying to run in her opinion. She still didn't believe humans would welcome her at this point.
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