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[font "Courier new" There nothing in here for you...so you might as well stay out. It simply storage and thoughts.
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[size10 Sigh. I feel so unwelcome here. No ever seems happy to see me. The only who ever did was my cat. Even if he was a sleep he would wake up and come running down the hallway meow/ howling at me. Then I would pick him up or just hug him he normally purred. I know he loved me now he gone.... all the love in this house is tainted by something...
Just admit I'm a disgrace to you.... I came up empty handed and that probably made you upset. You haven't said anything but I'm sure it is their in your mind. Your just waited to lash out. I fear that there no pride left. I know a shame to this family.
I'm sure you upset that I am not a good role-model for my step- brothers... I'm sure that bugs you too... Sigh. I just don't know what to do anymore...I just don't know much more I can take... This unwelcome feeling it just makes me feel sick. I get scared when I am here. Only because I know your words are very hurtful....maybe they only hurt because they are true....
If I was perfect or how you wanted me to be would things still be like this? I really just don't know... I feel like I am going to lose my self again...I don't know who I am....What the point...Once I fine myself things wont be the same...I'd rather stay lost...
Sigh...When I am with her around her family I feel so welcome. They seem so loving and accepting. Alway round each other. They make you feel welcome....Even if they do dislike me they hide it well. They make me feel very welcome like am one of their own....Even now in this depressed state they try to help....
It so sweet of them. I loving being there. I love being around her. I love being around my friends. I wonder if they are ashamed to have me as a friend? Sigh.... I hope I can find my happiness again...
[size10 I have something I want to ask you. Next Tuesday I don't not have to work. If I can get a ride that is willing to take me to you can I visit you. I would like to give you belated birthday presents. There are still some other things I would like to get for you but those may have to wait until the next time I say over with you... They are simply things you might need so nothing to exciting. I do hope what I have gotten you will like ... and I will be coming to take my wolf pup home too. >,> If that is okay. I mean if it is okay for me to come and see you and if I can get a ride.
[size10 Ugh... I this is why I fucking hate living here. I can't do anything with out getting in trouble. I can't make to much noise. If do something to like like sniffle I get in trouble because its either too loud or too annoying.. Well dad would you like it if I just quiet breathing? Then I wouldn't make any noise at all.. I would be quiet. I be really quiet. I wouldn't have anything to say to anyone either... because I'd be dead....
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[size10 Quote I really like: " Life asked death, "Why do people love me but hate you?" death responded, "Because you are a Beautiful Lie and I am the Painful Truth"
[size10 I know what I am going to get for my next tattoo. My mom was write I am going to get more.... I want to get paw prints on my other shoulder. I want to have them leading up my shoulder and the tope on I want it to have wings. I also want it to say you will always be loved. Because no matter how old I get or how long it's been, I will always love my cats. I will love any animal that walked into my life and let me cherish it. Believe there has been quiet a few...
[size10 Sigh. What a day it has been today. It really been a... a messy day. So much happening all at once. I had to say goodbye to one of the sweetest cats, I have ever met. That really hurt...I hate seeing such a young cat go. It really hurt saying goodbye. I really wished there as more I could do. That little fur ball left an embedded paw print on my heart. Just like my boy did. I loved him very much. I loved getting to hold him and listening him purr. His adorable meows. He really did remind so much of my boy.
This all seems like a fucked up dream... I really hoped that you are alright. I hope that Marshmallow is okay too. It hurts. I'm sure it's even hard on you guys... It's been over six months since my boy passed sometime I will forget I will look for him....I have done this one to many time in such a short time period... I do have to say as time passes it will get better but it dose hurt for a while. I hope tomorrow I can help make things a little better. I hope we will have some fun!
God knows we all need a little more excitement in our lives. I hope that someday we will meet Charm again...just like every day I hope to find my Freddy. Come to think of you know those little FNAF figures...well last week before I got my tattoo...I see more of them well key chains...guess which on happen to fall right in front of me? Freddy. That over 5 Freddys that I have gotten... It find that just a little strange....
Songs listened too: Jekyll and Hyde ~ Miku and Ai / Whiskey Lullaby ~ Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss
[size10 Sigh, I hate being distance from you... it drives me crazy. I'm always wonder if you are mad at me or ignoring me or if I screwed something up if I don't hear from you. I suppose if I deserve to be ignore. I was being really cranky and depressing the last couple of days. That no fun to be around...Or hear about...I'm feeling better now. Well not really. I really miss you...I hate being apart from you...but I suppose if you dislike me now I need to get use to it.
I never understood why you like me in the first place? What is there to really like. Beside that what the point in loving me. I'll never be good enough anyway...I'm stuck in rut. At least I feel that way. It pretty much the same thing every day... Sometimes I feel when ever I try to get close to you something come up... Maybe it's fate saying that you should shove me back out the door that I came through....
I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to. Sigh. Maybe my dream was a glance into the future. It wasn't a pleasant dream either. Sigh. All I do Is whine and complain about everything...that has to be annoying. I feel like I'm not holding up my share. You deserver better than that...better than me... I need to listen to your problems too, not just have you listen to me all the time...It's just not fair to you... I've been a bad ? Well I don't really know what I am...
Song listen to: Miku & Rin - The Lost Lovers
~ Lone Wulf
[size10 I dream that you and me fought. We must of fought pretty bad. Because we didn't take our kitten to the vet. You just gave the kitten and your aunt told me to leave or something. Kitten end up getting really sick through out the whole dream no would take me to the vet so I couldn't take him. I guess I held him close I can't remember if he lived or not...It just made feel even more crappier. I'm glad it was just a dream.
It just felt weird. Sigh. I hate fighting with you. I hate when you get mad at me. I don't know >w< I think I've been having a crappy couple of days...That dream made me feel as if we were going wither way before out loved even blossomed....I don't like that feeling at all...
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