⌜ᴍʏ ᴛʜɪʀᴅᴇʏᴇ ɪs ɢᴏɪɴɢ ʙʟɪɴᴅ⌟

/ By Depression [+Watch]

Replies: 21 / 305 days 14 hours 10 minutes 25 seconds

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[pic https://orig00.deviantart.net/379e/f/2014/253/d/f/arrow_left_by_drawn_mario-d7yqvjz.gif] [size10 [font "Didot" [i "You are in my personal thread, and I think you should just leave." ]]]

[pic https://orig00.deviantart.net/379e/f/2014/253/d/f/arrow_left_by_drawn_mario-d7yqvjz.gif] [size10 [font "Didot" [i "I don't talk shit about anyone, so if you think that's what this is for. You're sadly mistaken.." ]]]

[pic https://orig00.deviantart.net/379e/f/2014/253/d/f/arrow_left_by_drawn_mario-d7yqvjz.gif] [size10 [font "Didot" [i "If you are triggered by sad shit, then this is the wrong place for you."

[pic https://orig00.deviantart.net/379e/f/2014/253/d/f/arrow_left_by_drawn_mario-d7yqvjz.gif] [size10 [font "Didot" [i "I mean.. I guess that my friends are allowed to stalk this handy dandy nice island."

[pic https://orig00.deviantart.net/379e/f/2014/253/d/f/arrow_left_by_drawn_mario-d7yqvjz.gif] [size10 [font "Didot" [i "I find my personal escape from depression in my writing, yay.. Emo shit."

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Roleplay Responses

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  ʷᵉᵃᵏ / Depression / 8d 11h 42m 5s
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  ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ« / Depression / 11d 12h 14m 5s
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"I just want you to realize life isn't as bad as you make it to be.. You say you are unloved and no one will understand you.. That's only partially the truth.. For some reason you like to erase the parts of you're life that matter, but you always keep you're focus on the negative. It's like you are just glued to be a Debbie downer.. You are not funny with the suicidal jokes Ash, they're just upsetting to the people who care about you.."

"I know, you don't have a family to your name that will ever love you.. But I bet the people you surround yourself with now... Love you as much as they can, and I bet they mean it.. This time.. I know, most of the people you wanted haven't stayed.. But you can make more out of the new.. "

"I just want you to look at the water when it's clear.. And soon this whole depression.. May or may not go away.. Only time can tell.. But I want you to live.. I want to see you smile more, you get friends with those pearly whites.. Don't be so shy, be the way you are around Alex, Ace, Nat, Jennifer, etc. You know, the real you? Be you and own it.. Love yourself.."

"I know in the back of your mind all those terrible words like to linger. But you don't have to make that your definition. You are not, disgusting, fat, retarded, insane, a liar, and ill.. You are a survivor.. You might not believe it right now, I know it's to soon, and I know you still miss.. Them... But you have to fight, for Alex? For your new family? For your friends? Basically Ash, fight for the people who actually care, and who cares what other people say? Remember your Nana saying? "Bullies are just jealous, because they can't be you." You tried to live by that... But the words got more stronger and the laughter got louder.. But you had her to hold you through it.. The same with Alex.. He is trying so hard to be the perfect parent and doing the best he can.. All I'm saying is cut him some slack."

"You don't have to be a crybaby, you can wipe those tears and stand your ground.. Depression is just a brick wall and you have to break through it. Put on a helmet, put on knee and shoulder pads, and strap in tight. This is going to be a long game, and I won't promise you won't get some scratches and bruises. But you'll make it.. This is just a simple reminder that you made it this far.. And yeah, it's okay to be depressed.. But you can't live in it. You can't live in the past, we are all aware you are hurt.. And you can't trust if the life your living is real sometimes.. But your doing a great job.. Just be calm and don't freak out over small things.. Baby steps? I know it will take awhile to get back into the swing of things.. But well everyone needs time in their darkest moments in life. "

"Abuse will never follow if you leave.. You can only choose to let it sit inside of you and eat you up.."

"I know you can't tell if someone is lying to you or not.. But we'll work on that.. I promise, when they say "I love you." they mean it.. Because you are worth loving, because you're a perfect angel.. You deserve happiness. You deserve love.. I want you to see the world in a whole new light, take off those sunglasses.. Look at the sky, and remember that your Nana is watching over you. That she loves you in life and death, and maybe your brother is looking at the same sky and she is watching over him too.. She loves you both with all of her heart.. "

"Just remember, you are doing the best you can and that's all that matters. Remember that I'm rooting for you.. And that should matter since I am you... Alex is on your side as well, so is everyone else who loves you. You are never alone in your darkest moments with them. They are always there for you. And if anything happens.. Just remember you love them all so much and none of this is their fault. They're the most caring people you have ever met.. They are always in your heart "

[right [u "Sincerely: Yourself."] ]
  ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ« / Depression / 18d 6h 16m 0s
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"Are you kidding me? Why would you tell him that, now he's going to think you're crazy.."

"Why do I always find a way to scared people? Why do they always run, I told you I'm no good.. Why do people want me? Like my mother, is trying to fight to get back in my life, I don't want her, I don't. Why don't certain people understand I don't wan their love? I don't want to have what their selling.. It's not even the good type of love, it's fake, it's bought, it's abusive.. I don't want it. "

"I don't want to be hurt again, I have bad trust issues.. I have social anxiety, but can you blame me for being scared of people? Scared of love? Scared of trust? I'm always scared, it's just hard to see it through a computer screen. But I guess, writing this stuff calms my anxiety, makes me feel less depressed."

"I don't understand where this comes from, it just bottles up, it just hide's inside me until I explode. I don't feel like I'm worth it most of the time. I feel like a waste of money, space and time. I'm a brick wall, nothing helps me pull myself out of this hole in the ground I dug. I'm just dead weight, I'm never positive. I'm so sorry, I really am.. I don't mean to be so self conscious.. I don't mean to be a Debbie downer, I don't mean to change every subject into something grim and dark.. I don't mean it.. I'm trying to play the happy game, but how can I play it when I forgot what happy was?"

"Damnit there I go again.. I always feel bad making everything about me, but it's not.. I'm never going to think of myself as the top priority. I don't feel like I'm that important.. This is nothing against anyone.. I'm just a bit down today.. I needed to vent.. Don't take this wrong, my depression and my anxiety are fighting of who has control of my brain today.."
  ᴍʀ.ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ / Depression / 31d 21h 22m 3s
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"I mean, life could be worse."

"Today wasn't all that great, but I guess I survived? If I could even put that in any content? I was sweaty, and giving heavy breaths the whole day as I was biting back my tears. I don't know, I've just been wanting to hide and cry, I just kept up a fake smile. Maybe if my classmates think I'm okay, they will be okay? I don't know how this works to be honest. I just have to say, lying isn't my forte."

"I just kept quiet all day like usual, couldn't wait to go home, and just complained about my editing style and wanting to edit but I couldn't? This day has been a questionable day. I literately had a panic attack this morning for missing the bus, like my life makes no sense. I bitch and moan about going to school, but if I miss school by my fault I freak like a baby."

"I honestly feel like my life is a fucking lie, I keep this mask gripped in my hand, it has a painted smile on it. The paint is made with my pain, blood, tears and sweat. I'm not okay, but I try to be okay, for Alex, Jennifer, Ace, Nat, Mari, Aleks, Davey, Joey, Haley, and Leanne. They are my hope, their my fire in the dark. I'm stuck in the deep sea, and here they are coming in a submarine."

"But I can't rely on other people to save me, when they need help as well. But they do help me with my depression and make me feel a little bit better to talk to them! Thanks everyone for being there for me, when I needed you guys the most!"
  ʷᵉᵃᵏ / Depression / 36d 14h 47m 22s
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"I need to not pick up my phone, I’ll go straight to airplane mode. But my third eye is going blind, I’m unaligned with my body and mind. It's playing tricks, I say "I’m fine" but really it's hurting me deep inside. I’m trying to be ultra, mega happy and show you my smile, and send you my feelings, and fuck it is so hard, being so damn far. I guess I’ll just stay here and type in my bed."

"I'm just going to say this, since I've gotten all my friends back. I finally feel loved and I think my brain can’t take it. It’s telling me some of the people weren’t there for me until now. They were, they were just hiding, or more like I was hidden from them. I'm so sorry for not being enough to help people. All I do is act like a child, and try to act like me saying "what's wrong" and "It's going to be okay." Is going to help the situation, I need to be there. I need to be helpful. I need to be a goddamn friend."

"I'm back to hiding in my room and ignoring everyone again, and they need me.. What is wrong with me? I will never understand why I'm trying to be caring but I'm hiding at the same time? I love everyone, I do! I love you all so very much, and it hurts that I can't help and make life a little bit better for you."

"I've never gotten to talk to you guys until now, and it's been like "Where the fuck have you guys been all my life?" You guys don't know how much you guys have changed my life, it's so crazy until you hear how! I'm trying to get better with my depression, and I want to stop hurting. I've said multiple times that I wanted to die, but then I have thoughts for you all missing me and I don't think I could deal with the burden on everyone, so I stay."

"You all are the best wish a lonely teenager like myself could wish for. I needed this, I didn't ask for it, but I got it. "
  ʷᵉᵃᵏ / Depression / 37d 19h 7m 34s
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"You call me out of my slumber."

"I'm tired of being EliteSkills' headliner, every day. "Extra, extra! Read all about it! Tally complains about wanting her sister back! Sister has yet to say anything!" Well, here is what I have to say: "

"Alex and Jennifer are far from controlling. They are the best mothers that someone could ask for. You are the bad parent. You are the controlling one. I specifically remember you getting on my accounts and blocking people out that you didn't like. You would force me to break up with people that you didn't like. You wouldn't allow me to talk to anyone online, because you were afraid that I couldn't keep up with your facade. You, even, forced me to smoke weed and get wasted with you! I never wanted to do any of the things that you thought I wanted to do, because I wasn't who you thought I was. You painted this picture of the perfect sister, and I struggled to fit my odd shaped puzzle piece into it, but I never could. Every time that I failed to do what you wanted me to do, you would yell at me and I would yell back, then you would shove me, push me into things, slap me, or threaten to sit on me. Those days felt like I lived on an isolated island with a hurricane hitting the beach for hours on end. And on the calm days, when the ocean was barely making waves, you would use me as your security blanket. The person that you would come cry to, and I would wipe your tears away."

"I understand your wording "security blanket" now. You used me, only to make yourself happy. I was your doll. Your little plaything. You used me until you grew up and you had someone else to play with, then you threw me back into your toy box. I waited there in the darkness. You had thrown me away. I'm not mad.. I'm just disappointed that I tried to give my life to you, and in the end, you tell me to go die? Dear sister, I will never blame you for anything that has been put on my body.. But truth be told, when you grew too old for me, and you said that Dylan was your new playmate and he was the only toy that you needed, I wanted to kill myself for you. I stopped cutting about two months ago, but when I did it, I did it to make you notice me. I wanted you to care for me. To pick me up and dust me off, say that you only needed me. But you didn't. You got mad at me, you hit me, and you shunned me. I was no longer your sister. But whenever Atorie did the same thing, you gave up your life for him. He got babied, while I had to grow up."

"And if I gained the attention of your playmates.. You would get jealous. You would forbid me to talk to them, because you did not want them to speak to me as a friend, for you feared that they would run to me and ask me to be their playmate. And if I got in the way of your playtime, then you would punish me."

"Don't you think that is controlling, dear sister? I was told what I was, and that was the only gender I could be. I was told what my name was, and that was the only name I could have. I was told what my religion was, and that was the only religion I could have. I was told who my friends were, and these were the only friends that I was allowed. My opinions were your opinions, never my own. You would have never accepted your childhood toy for what it really was. Your doll was a defect. Something that you wished that you could send back to the factory, and get a new, more perfect version of. That's all you ever wanted to do. Replace me. You never loved me for who I was. You love me for who you thought you could make me into."

"I loved you, dear sister, but you never loved yourself. You would tear yourself apart, because you let your new playmates tell you that you were defective. I wanna quote Coma Baby by Nicole Dollanganger: "Coma baby, with your sick head. The doctors saved you, but you're still dead. Through your scalp, I would like to reach in. So I could pull out, the monster you've been. But you would do anything to, destroy the body that they rescued, your sick little head, so brain damaged, and lying in that hospital bed. Lately I can't recognize you, the doctors lied when they saved they saved you. You're just the shell of the girl that you've been, and you're dying, I can feel it." Because you cannot face the truth, that you are not defective, the world is. The only defect that you have, is that you don't know what love is, and I fear that you never will. You push away everyone that does love you, and manipulate those who are close to you. I'm tired of being left in your dollhouse, Miss Puppet Master, and I'm here to take a stand for the ones that are being misled by you."

"We are not the ones that slander your name, but you are the one slandering ours. Keep our names out of your filthy mouth. No, I am not dating Alex, because that's my mom. You're sick and twisted for even considering that. I want you to get help, because you sound like you are loosing your mind, living in a fantasy world where you are never wrong. But keep digging your hole deeper, the more that you ruin my life, the longer I will not be in yours. I'm not going to be standing there with a shovel to help dig you out, and I would throw you down a rope, but I'm afraid that you will break it, because you probably want to take all your problems with you. You've taken everything away from me, even my brother, so I'm not afraid to lose you, too. And it's pretty sad that your last resort is turning all of your friends into scapegoats. I've been holding my tongue for so long, but you need to cough up some cash for the check that your mouth wrote, and that check is written out to reality."

"And I'm sorry that I'm probably "stepping out of line". I figured the nice act wasn't working as well as pouring a glass of ice down your pants. You know, like the many, many times that you've done the same to me? I guess you lost grip of that pitcher."

"I've told you before, and I will say it, again: Just forget about me. I'm not worth remembering. We came to a fork in the road, and it's time that we agreed to go our separate ways, dear sister."
  ᵘ ˢ ᵉ ˡ ᵉ ˢ ˢ / depression / 32d 18h 56m 37s
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"Thinking of her"

"So I had a thought about my mom, and how I could never forgive her, then I remembered that I never had a dad and how I never wanted to meet him. When I was little I was so naive, I thought everything was all sunshine and rainbows, and every broken heart could just be bandaged up and it be okay.. I know now the scars are to deep to ever forgive and forget. Missing is different from forgiving, you can miss someone all you want, but deep down in your heart you never truly forgive them.. never truly trust them.. There are people that want me to make up with "her". To those people, you all make it sound so easy. You make it sound like everything can go back to the way it was... That everything can be fixed over a glass of milk and a plate of cookies. I really wish that were the case. But, a person in my life once told me that you never seen the red flags through rose-colored glasses. And they right. I step back now, and I see all of the red flags between us. Our relationship was unhealthy.. It was so unhealthy that I fear that no one could ever find a cure.. "

"I just really wish you just forget about me, and move with your life.. You can't take care of me forever. I want to grow up, maybe start my own family and my own life,. This would be different if I was disabled, but I'm not. I can live on my own, that's my choice.. I've made these choices for myself, and you find it so hard to believe, that you have to blame everyone around me for my choices. And I just think that's unfair.. But when is life ever fair? I guess it goes to show, that we don't know each other.. That we were strangers living under the same roof.. We're going down a road that has a fork in it, let's agree to disagree and take our own separate paths. I think that this is for everyone's best interest."

"Turn my back to the door, Feel so much better now. Don't even try anymore, Nothing left to lose. There's a voice that's in the air. Saying don't look back nowhere. There's a voice that's always there, And I'll never be quite the same as I was before this. Part of you still remains, though it's out of focus. You're just somewhere that I've been. And I won't go back again, You're just somewhere that I've been. Breathing in, breathing out, Ain't that what it's all about? Living life crazy loud, Like a girl's supposed to. No more words in my mouth, Nothing left to figure out.I don't think I'll ever undo, The scar tissue. That's the way I feel tonight, I can't just press delete. Expect the world to make it right, I know that no can do. Got to let the pain just hurt. Try to live and let it burn, Follow, watch the world keep turning. Yeah, and I'll never be like I was, the day I met you. Too naive, yes I was, that's why I let you in. Wear your memory like a stain. Can't erase or numb my pain, Here to stay with me forever. Breathing in, breathing out, Ain't that what it's all about? Living life crazy loud, Like a girl's supposed to. No more words in my mouth, Nothing left to figure out.I don't think I'll ever undo, The scar tissue. One of these days I'll wake up from this bad dream I'm dreaming. One of these days I'll pray that I'll be over, over, over you. One of these days I'll realize, that I'm so tired of feeling confused. But for now, there's a reason that you're still here in my heart. Breathing in, breathing out, Ain't that what it's all about? Living life crazy loud, Like a girl's supposed to. No more words in my mouth, Nothing left to figure out.I don't think I'll ever undo, The scar tissue."
  Depression / 32d 18h 28m 35s
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"Nobody thinks what I think."

"I am emotionally exhausted. I want to stop thinking about all this."

"It's draining.. I want to move on.. But I can't.. I get so upset when you say those things.. I get upset when anyone says them.. I have more to accomplish in life.. It's my senior year, and I'm not sure if I can do it... I have plenty of people who believe in me though. I wish you could of been one of them.. I'm not sure what's going on with you... But I hope that everything works out for you in the end.. I don't understand adults, I don't understand people in general. Sometimes I wish things could go to the way it was, but I know this path I'm on is better for me.. Maybe it is better for you too... Since you don't have to worry about a kid like me....

"Now you can have your childhood back... We all know that you grew up too fast. I'm sorry for everything. I know that you have memories problems, and I know it won't be fast... But I hope that some day, you can remember what happened. But I want you to try your hardest to remember these words: No matter how many times that you fall down and scrap your knees, I want you to try your hardest to pick yourself back up for yourself, for the people that care for you, because deep down you know that people do... Especially me. Because I love you, and I want to make sure your safe..."
  sᴀᴠᴀɢᴇ / Depression / 32d 18h 35m 30s
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"What can I say that I already haven't?"

"I want to personally thank you for you taking your time out of your day to talk to me, it was a nice chit chat we had. I just can't help to blame myself, I know it's not my fault now though, thanks to you. I'm not really good of telling my feeling to anyone, I mostly like to keep to myself, and I do somewhat apologize personally because you got mixed up in this huge mess. You seem very sweet and that's pretty hard to come by. I should know since I'm a high schooler surrounded by the most meanest kids in my small little town. Just.. I'm sorry all I can do at this point is thank you dearly, but sadly that's all I want to say to you.. I don't have any further words to say, I'm just shaking because I'm so thankful someone talk to me at this point.. And actually listen to me. Only a few did, and I'm so grateful people want to hear me for once in my life. I feel like people actually care about me in all of my years on this earth. I thought since I didn't have a mom, I didn't have a dad, I don't have a grandmother anymore, I don't have my siblings anymore, that I had no meaning to go on, but I feel like climbing up those stairs in confidence.. I'm going to make it I'm sure of it. I'm so very thankful. Thank you so much.
  ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵐᵉ / Depression / 32d 18h 41m 30s
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"I push people away, I finally snapped and locked myself in the bathroom and yelled at Alex.. Were fine now.. but because I’m so depressed it makes me see things about myself that I don’t want to see and I’m scared for my safety.. I don’t trust myself. I know this sounds crazy but my mind didn’t clicked and I was digging in the bathroom trashcan trying to find.. something.. but I remembered I threw them away in the kitchen trashcan and the trash bag is long gone. I’m glad I didn’t find them.. Because I had a vision that I cut my throat open with a razor.. I don’t want to die. I want to be happy for real… I want to live.. but how can I live like this, my mind is telling me, “How does death feel?” “What’s on the other side?” But… I DON’T WANT TO KNOW. “

"The only way I'm thinking straight is when I'm locked in my mind in the shower, or if I'm typing how I feel.. I can't get the words out, if I do I'm scared of what people will say about me and I don't want them to worry about me either. I hate this feeling it comes once in a blue moon, I'm.. loved.. I love my home, I love my make sift family.. I love my bed, I love how I look, I love how I'm getting better with things.. but.. Why do I feel like this, why was I cursed with this stupid depression that I can't control.. I want to be sane.. I want to be.. me.. I don’t want to die.. I want to live.. I want to be okay. I want someone to tell me that I’m okay and that there is nothing wrong with me… "

"I wish I had the control over my mind as It has control over my body. It's broken I think, I don't work.. I don't work at all.. I don't feel a damn thing at this point. I asked myself today, how many pills would I have to take for it to make me feel completely numb... head to toe.. I would never say that.. I’ve done it before so I should know.. I think it's because I can't save anyone.. I couldn't save her.. Now she's gone.. I couldn't even save him.. Now he's mad or upset everyday. She wouldn't listen to me and now she is dating him again and I know he is going to hurt her again.. I couldn't change her mind... I'm useless.. I'm no hero.. But I want to be.."

[size10 [b "I want to matter for once... is that to hard to ask for?" ] ]
  ʜᴏᴛ ᴍɪʟᴋ / Depression / 32d 18h 50m 23s
[center [size17 [font "didot" •[u D E P R E S S I O N] •]]][center [pic https://media.giphy.com/media/KXfNDE33dBOSs/giphy.gif]]
[center [pic http://orig03.deviantart.net/e855/f/2013/217/6/d/black_cross_divider_by_crossxpuppy-d6gukm6.gif]]
[size10 [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Bilbo:400] [div
"How much weight can a single person carry?"

"Bryan, I don't know how to explain this to you.. without crying as well, you just need to understand, that no matter how much she didn't understand you, she loved you. She wanted to be there for you at graduation, I know she promised.. But her fear of dying on that surgeon table, killed her instead... she didn't want to leave us... so she didn't have the heart surgery, she let her heart fail.. Me and you took care of her, and she repaid the favor.. I know she was like a mother to the both of us, I know mom never loved us, she beat us, she hated us, she stole from us, but you need to understand she was ill, she was fucked in the beginning. But me and you, were siblings, I'll never let you fall, I'll pick you up.. Bryan I loved you so much that I cried when I missed your birthday, the first birthday I wasn't there, and the last she was.. You called me that day, saying how much you loved your birthday cake and presents, And you were so happy to hear that I was coming home. Bryan I wouldn't miss it for the world, but I did, and I'm sorry that I did, my plane wasn't until a week later. I even begged Nana to help me buy a late present for you. It's been several important Holidays without her. "

"And I know it's been getting to you too, and sissy is right there with you, I'm going to be strong for you. Because I love you silly. And Kaylee loves you, Alex loves you, And Nana still loves you and she's watching over us, and don't think she's not going to be there when you walk the stage with your cap and gown on, she's going to be there, in your heart, she is going to be telling everyone in heaven that that's her grandson and that she is so proud of you. I wished she would of been with me until I graduated too, but I understand, but it's hard for you bubba.. I'm sorry mom took you out of school.. I'm sorry your dad was never there for you, I'm sorry that she is gone, I know the people who did us wrong can't apologize like I can to you all the time. But I wish they would, I'm sorry she broke her promise.. but Alex and I are going to be there for you little bro.. because unlike our other family members were not going to use you for your money.. We want you for you! Because your special! Because we love you! and we actually mean it!"

"People ask me would I ever wish you were born differently, and my answer is no, because disability or not, you're still you! You're still my bubba! You're my handsome older brother! You're Bryan! Not even the biggest amount of money offered to me would change that I love you! The real you, and it's okay to cry that she is gone, it's okay to miss her, it's okay, everything that your feeling is okay, just because she's not here physically doesn't me she's gone for good. She's there, the warm air in your room is her hugging you, when you think about her, she's holding your hand, when you cry she is there to wipe off your tears, when you feel like you look awesome and handsome one day that's her telling you that she loves you, she's always there. Don't you forget it."
  [❤] / Depression / 32d 18h 45m 46s
[center [size17 [font "didot" •[u D E P R E S S I O N] •]]][center [pic https://78.media.tumblr.com/109913bf9833114408d5edd6f07d06a0/tumblr_ojblwwc1dZ1ukft4wo1_500.gif]]
[center [pic http://orig03.deviantart.net/e855/f/2013/217/6/d/black_cross_divider_by_crossxpuppy-d6gukm6.gif]]
[size10 [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Bilbo:400] [div
"I can't sleep after my third break-down and my second energy drink."

"Stop! Just shut up! Can't you see?! I'm losing my fucking mind... I won't give in, I'm too strong.. You keep telling me to look for no answer and go back to adding more scars to my body.. My arms, my thighs, my wrists, my ankles, my legs.... I was a good girl and shamed cutting, I even laughed about it... I even joked about suicide, But I was committed to both.. your just depression.. and I don't want to continue falling back into your arms. Your in my body, your my mind and it's all mind over matter, so lets change it up. Let's start with you! Just because he left me doesn't mean "cut for him." HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE REMEMBERED IN MY PAIN!"

"I only did it because I was blaming myself.. I was always blaming myself... because she didn't like me.. I lost all of my friends... so I ran away from home... Even know I was with her, My bitch of a sister.. I was still hurt... The names.. The hatred.. I just accepted it... and said it was my fault.. it was all my fault.. there still visible.. I'm pretty sure it's been seven months... when I first did it.. And it wasn't just one time.. No.. there was multiple occasions were I was led todo it.. and it was your fault you stupid illness... your the plague.. you spread across my body anytime you got. But no more. I look at my body and think why? Why did I do this to myself? These scars are ugly and beautiful because their a stupid lesson... I hate you depression go fuck yourself.."
  Depression / 32d 18h 49m 17s
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