.:Looking Into the Shattered Glass:.

/ By -Mirror- [+Watch]

Replies: 79 / 1 years 138 days 22 hours 50 minutes 55 seconds

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[center [font "Courier New" Just a little journal.]]
[center [font "Courier New" Nothing to see here.]]


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Roleplay Responses

[font 'Courier New' The American people have forgotten their history.]

[font 'Courier New' The American people have forgotten how they got here in the first place.]

[font 'Courier New' This land. We did not get here by pleasant means.]

[font 'Courier New' No.]

[font 'Courier New' We got here in the worst possible way.]

[font 'Courier New' Our ancestors destroyed the Native American people when they were willing to share. Willing to teach. Willing to guide.]

[font 'Courier New' But no. Our ancestors had to take and take it all. And then destroy everything, too.]

[font 'Courier New' Eventually, the Native Americans were forced onto small remnants of their native lands, reservations they were called. Just a memory of what their lives used to be. But even now, they struggle to keep those sacred lands out of the hands of the government.]

[font 'Courier New' And what we're doing to people now is like a fuzzy silhouette of the past. Only this time, we are trying to keep people OUT of the country. People that are seeking shelter from war, relief from poverty, looking for better healthcare for their family and even just looking to start over with a new life. But no. They aren't allowed such things.]

[font 'Courier New' They have to get their kids ripped away and thrown into cages like stray dogs off the street.]

[font 'Courier New' It's sickening.]

[font 'Courier New' America is losing in the human decency department. Humanity in America is fading.]

[font 'Courier New' This world is fucked beyond repair and it's damn depressing.]
  -Mirror- / 22h 7m 47s
[font 'Courier New' Man, I've gotten LAZY lately.]

[font 'Courier New' Or maybe I'm just not feeling great.]

[font 'Courier New' Perhaps a flare up is coming on? Need to check the calendar.]

[font 'Courier New' Anyway.]

[font 'Courier New' Finally gonna be getting my hair cut in a couple days. It needs it. The ends are so frazzled I cringe every time I feel them. It's like I go from silk to wire. It's horrible. I'll be able to see if my hair stylist has a certain product in her salon that I'm looking for. I was told it helps with itching. If she has it, I'm gonna be looking over it. I'm getting really tired of this itchy scalp of mine. Tired of the snow machine on my head too but the itching has to go first.]

[font 'Courier New' I'm starting the process over with getting healthcare. I have this niggling feeling that it's not going to work out. I don't know what it is but I just have this feeling that it's not going to go in my favor. Too many hoops to jump through, too many road blocks. Someone is trying to tell me that this isn't it. I'm almost thinking it would be better to just go to a doctor and just do it myself and not ask for help. It would be less stress on me and no middle man to deal with. And I can pick the doctor I see.]

[font 'Courier New' We'll see I guess. I'll endure the flare this is going to put me through. I just go through with it, watch it fail and then just start doing research on where the docs I need are.]
  -Mirror- / 3d 5h 1m 36s
[font 'Courier New' Well, this is unfortunate.]

[font 'Courier New' I thought it was saved but I guess not.]

[font 'Courier New' Net-neutrality is officially dead.]

[font 'Courier New' I guess we'll see what happens in the coming weeks.]
  -Mirror- / 9d 2h 34m 45s
[font 'Courier New' Yup. I really, really miss those casual, free-for-all threads.]

[font 'Courier New' I was able to get back into writing faster and even develop characters in those threads. I was able to use characters where the clay was still wet and mess around with them to mold into a more solid piece. Plus there wasn't any pressure to reply and I could use whatever character I wanted. They were so much fun.]

[font 'Courier New' Of course, they were fun until people that don't exactly know how to write beyond kindergarten level comes in. The poor grammar and lack of punctuation along with severe lack of any detail kind of kills the vibe of things. Just because it's casual, it doesn't mean you have to forget basic grammar and descriptive detail. Makes me want to cry.]

[font 'Courier New' I think the free-for-all threads are basically a dead thing now. I keep hoping to see a good one appear but it seems like the only way that's going to happen is if I make one myself. However, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to keep up with it very well. I tried a few times before but they all flopped. I guess that's what happened to all of them. They all just died after a while and vanished or were left to be forgotten by the creators.]

[font 'Courier New' Oh well. I'll keep on hoping though. I'll keep looking for those fun little free-for-all threads I always enjoyed. I'm sure one will appear at some point.]
  -Mirror- / 14d 15h 31m 7s
[font 'Courier New' So, I had my doctors appointment yesterday. Some good, some neutral.]

[font 'Courier New' I lost more weight. I'm finally under 160lbs again. Since the end of 2016, I've lost over 40lbs. Holy crap! I didn't think I had that much extra weight on me but I did. I feel good that it's coming off. Most of it is stress weight from what I was dealing with from that year. It was not a good year for me. But since October 2016, I've happier and not as stressed out so the weight just gradually came off. And I didn't have to do anything different. It's just coming off all on it's own at a nice, slow pace.]

[font 'Courier New' I got my blood results back as well. My vitamin D levels are normal. The multivitamins plus what I'm eating and what I get from the little sun I do get is keeping my levels normal. So that's good. Don't need to adjust anything there.]

[font 'Courier New' Couldn't do anything about the ringing in my ears though. I'm not too bothered by it. The meds I'm on are still working it seems. I'm just dealing with more than one type of headache. Guess I need to try and be more diligent about my water intake.]

[font 'Courier New' *sigh* Couldn't do anything about the literal pain in my ass though. Gonna need a specialist for that. Luckily I'm planning for that next week. At least that's what my mom said. In the meantime, I have stuff to keep me comfortable till I can see someone.]

[font 'Courier New' I really hate having to deal with so many doctors but it's kind of what has to be done. It was decided for me after all.]
  -Mirror- / 19d 20h 1m 30s
[font 'Courier New' How amusing.]

[font 'Courier New' So, remember a short while ago I had a problem with a guy that wouldn't leave me alone and kept bugging me about why I am the way I am? Well, the idiot actually unblocked just to sent me a PM and then he blocked me again.]

[font 'Courier New' Can't let me go, huh LordTyranus? That is what normal people like me call 'an unhealthy obsession' AKA 'stalker tendencies'.]

[font 'Courier New' But I'll just add it to the collection of screenshots I have of everything that was sent from him.]

[font 'Courier New' Another message, another image to have for proof of someone being a rude idiot.]

[font 'Courier New' P.S - He changed his screen name to FuckYou, as indicated by [http://rp.eliteskills.com/u.php?u=36409 HERE]. This will be placed in my blacklist To-Do on my page along with the details of why he's there.]
  -Mirror- / 32d 4h 33m 30s
[font 'Courier New' Ugh. I hate when this happens.]

[font 'Courier New' Just when I was feeling up to it, my health decided to bottom out on me.]

[font 'Courier New' I've been sleeping a lot. I barely want to eat. My head has been hurting more. I haven't had much motivation. My scalp has been driving me bonkers. I've been hurting more.]

[font 'Courier New' Ugh.]

[font 'Courier New' But it isn't like this is anything new. It's just frustrating.]

[font 'Courier New' I agreed to make/do a couple new roleplays with some people and now I feel like I'm letting them down. Maybe the next couple I start should be the last ones. If I keep this up, no one would want to write with me.]

[font 'Courier New' But it's not like it's something I can control and I know this. I still feel bad because of it though.]

[font 'Courier New' Fuck Lupus.]
  -Mirror- / 32d 17h 41m 11s
[font 'Courier New' I just realized that I miss something.]

[font 'Courier New' Something that used to be rather popular on here.]

[font 'Courier New' Those casual, free-for-all type threads.]

[font 'Courier New' There hasn't been any of them on here. At least no good ones. I enjoyed those since I could use characters I didn't use often or ones I was working on to fine tune them. They were such a great little thing to have. It helped keep the creative juices flowing. Kept that brain hamster running on that wheel. It's also a great way to help calm an itch to write as you wait for a post on a major roleplay. Keeps you busy and keep you from going mad from waiting.]

[font 'Courier New' I miss those threads. They were easy going and yet I could still see good details. Well, until the bad grammar and vague posts started to come in. Kinda killed the vibe once that happened but at least it's fun beforehand.]

[font 'Courier New' Free-for-all threads need to make a comeback. I want to see them come back again. I doubt it will happen though.]

[font 'Courier New' Oh well.]

[font 'Courier New' I keep looking out for more free-for-all threads but I haven't seen any. At least no active ones.
  -Mirror- / 43d 15h 53m 41s
[font 'Courier New' It seems like my want to write is getting kicked back onto the hamster wheel again. Been itching to do a bit more writing lately.]

[font 'Courier New' The thing is, my chances of finding other partners that can match my skill are slim.]

[font 'Courier New' I got my search thread back out but I'm not feeling very hopeful this time around. It's just a waiting game I guess.]

[font 'Courier New' The bait is in the water. Just have to sit and see what happens.]
  -Mirror- / 46d 18h 34m 7s
[font 'Courier New' So Now that I have a new computer, I can play Fortnite on decent settings. Just played around on Solo and placed 11th. Got a bunch of bullets to the face but man it's great to actually be able to play on settings better than potato.]

[font 'Courier New' Now to just get a buddy to play with me. Maybe there would be a better chance at making it to the winners circle. Or maybe I just need to play more and get better since I suck at the game. Would still be more fun to have someone play with me and talk as we play. I just need a set of gaming headphones and kaboom. I'll be set.]

[font 'Courier New' I just have to wait one more day till I can get the stuff I want to try for controlling my anxiety. One more day. But I really don't want to wait. Unfortunately, I have to. Normally, I'm a patient person but this has got me jittery. I've done a lot of research, asked a lot of people and weighed all my options and came to the conclusion that what I'm going to be getting is the best option for me.]

[font 'Courier New' Tuesday just can't get here fast enough.]
  -Mirror- / 52d 8h 29m 50s
[font 'Courier New' It's one thing to have to get blood drawn.]

[font 'Courier New' It's another thing to have to get stuck twice.]

[font 'Courier New' Ugh. My right arm hates me right now. Apparently my vein decided to collapse so the gal had to stab me a second time in my other arm to get enough blood. It wasn't too bad though. I got a little woozy but not to the point of passing out. I just hate needles and made it clearly known that my anxiety was high because of it. They were aware of it and helped ease some of the tension so it wasn't the worst experience in the world. The first time hurt a bit since the nurse had to dig a bit since the needle kept popping out of my vein but the second time was a pinch and then nothing. I was perfectly fine afterwards. I'm bruised on my right arm but they said it would be. Not too bad though. Over all, it was pretty pleasant. Took care of me and made sure I was alright before they stuck me the second time and let me rest as long as I needed before I got up to walk. Great place.]

[font 'Courier New' I also have stuff lined up for what I need to get for controlling my anxiety. Visited a vape shop and got a device picked out from there. Next week I'll go to the next vape shop to find out about the other stuff I need and hopefully pick out a product. Once I have that, I'll go back to the first shop and pick up the device, charge it up, fill it up and see how it works. Can't wait to finally be able have better control over my anxiety and potentially my aches and pains.]
  -Mirror- / 56d 15h 32m 7s
[font 'Courier New' So my little Pinkers is doing well. She's a happy mama. All the babies are healthy. I'm not sure how much milk she's producing since hairless rats are known to have issues with nursing but as long as she's at least taking care of them by keeping them warm. There's two other mamas in with her that had babies shortly before her that are normal rats so the lack of milk isn't a concern. I'm just glad it all went well and the babies are strong and healthy.]

[font 'Courier New' In the meantime, I have idiot snakes. I tried giving one of them a mouse and the dumbass went and bit herself instead of the mouse. I had to poke her to get her to realize she bit her own neck. I just gave it to one of the other ones. I swear. All of my guys have such unique personalities. I love them all so much. I can't wait to see what my one baby girl produces when I put her with one of my boys. She's gotten so big. It's a workout moving her around.]

[font 'Courier New' In other news, I'm thinking about doing polymer clay charms again. I think I may need a different oven though. The one I have is a toaster and it doesn't hold temps very consistently. I can get it to hold the temp right but it;s a lot of fiddling with the dials. The first charm came out perfect but the second one I made burned. I need to look into that a bit. Not that I can afford a special oven or anything.
  -Mirror- / 60d 11h 17m 15s
[font 'Courier New' I'm so happy! My ratty Pinkers had her first litter of babies today and they are all perfectly healthy. She's being such a good mom, too. I can't wait to see in a couple weeks to see what the babies turn out to be. Since Pinkers is a hairless rex dumbo and the dad is a dumbo blue hooded, there's no telling what the babies will be like. Dumbos for sure. I'm glad she's doing good with the babies though.]

[font 'Courier New' In other news, I decided to copy and save all my character profiles to a flash drive. Holy crap that took a bit. The site crashing scared me a little so I decided it was time to stop putting it off and save them all. I'll save all new character profiles as well. It's just a precaution to keep from losing anything. Plus it will make it easier to put them on other sites if I wanted to. But keeping my children safe is my main goal.]
  -Mirror- / 61d 17h 23m 17s
[font 'Courier New' Finally, the harasser left me alone. The idiot just didn't know how to take a fucking hint. I can give a name now too since the idiot blocked me. LordTyranus. I was about to block his ass too but he did it for me. The trash took itself out in this case.]

[font 'Courier New' Let me issue a warning: this guy just doesn't know when to take no for an answer. I even explained to him that I'm not interested in more details than I should have and he STILL kept pushing it. I even ignored his ass and he still kept pushing. As I stated, I was about use the block function which I hoped to never have to use.]

[font 'Courier New' Thank GOD he did it for me. I don't have to be so tense while I'm on here, constantly wondering it that little red 'You Have A Message' at the top of the page is going to be him or a potential roleplay partner.]

[font 'Courier New' I kind of wonder how many people he's harassed on this site already. He claimed to have talked to me before but I have no recollection of it. He even kept saying my name was Megan and that I had that name on my -Serenity- profile when I never had that name there since I joined with as ShadowGretch. He wouldn't even let up on me being asexual. Um. Hello? I can't change the fact that I don't find anyone attractive. The guy was giving me a headache and making my teeth hurt from grinding them so much out of frustration.]

[font 'Courier New' Thank the heavens he blocked me. The trash took itself out and I'm free to breath again! I'm keeping the screenshots as proof of what he did though. He even had the gall to try and roleplay with me. What an idiot.]
  -Mirror- / 73d 12h 51m 8s
[font 'Courier New' Ugh. I feel like mega crap. My body just took me through hell in a hand basket made of tissue paper. Got the ole trifecta going on: allergies, Lupus flare and monthly visit by Aunt Flow.]

[font 'Courier New' Mother Nature: fuck you and the pigeon you flew in on.]

[font 'Courier New' In other news, I'm still in the mood to write. I'm still coming up with more plot ideas. My latest one is thanks to a movie trailer that looks beyond amazing. Comes out in June and I want to see it about as much as Deadpool 2.]

[font 'Courier New' I'm still struggling to find the right pictures for that ghoul plot though. I may have to pull that one till I can figure that one out. As the saying goes 'easier said than done'. In the mean time, I have other ideas I could work with.]

[font 'Courier New' Maybe.]

[font 'Courier New' My search efforts don't seem to be going too well currently. I'll keep trying though. I'd like to have at least 2, maybe 3, new roleplays so I'll keep trying. Even if I get just one, I'll be happy.]
  -Mirror- / 73d 23h 21m 22s

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