She had to admit he was right there. In this case there never would have been a good time to reach out. "I suppose you're right," she admitted softly, "I mean, it's better he reached out now, then when he dies and I get the notice then." She supposed that that would have been the worst. Did it make this better?
The kissing was nice until they broke apart and he spoke up. It made her chuckle as she sat up slightly. "Well, have you ever given me this much food for thought before?" she pointed out with a shrug, "I can't help it." Still, he was right that it wasn't exactly contributing to the mood.
Taking a deep breath, she sat up straight as an idea came to her. Looking into his eyes, she smiled as she slowly began to unbutton her blouse from work that she was still wearing. "Maybe we can help that mood along," she mused, waiting for his reaction.
"I meant would there ever be a good time to reach out at all, obviously not, I assume the step he took was doing it all despite those circumstances."He offered her a small shrug. He really couldn't tell what to let go or not, when they were in the middle of both things. Small bouts of kissing obviously were needed for her before she thought of the next thing she wanted to say. As was clear when they continued to do so for a bit and once again broke apart. "This is kind of odd..have we ever thought so much while kissing each other before?"He didn't know really how to explain, it wasn't like either of them didn't enjoy kissing the other, but at the same time the situation seemed a bit odd to be doing so, and kind of either one of the activities hindering each other. In the end though it was her birthday and he was fully ready to submit to whatever she wanted to do, that much was clear.
She gave an innocent shrug. "Perhaps, but don't act like you don't enjoy it yourself," she mused with a smile. She couldn't explain herself why she didn't just shut the conversation down. Maybe she was getting sentimental with age or somewhere deep down underneath all the anger towards her father she too wanted to make up with him. She honestly had no idea.
The question made her pause as she thought on it. "After my mom died... maybe, but it would have only been like one or two times in many years. I mean, when you mentally check out you don't really do much," she pointed out with a shrug.
It had been a rather good birthday, even with her father suddenly showing up. She knew he meant well. Could he blame her for wanting both? It was a lot to take in so it made one want to talk and forget at the same time. Kissing him back, she scratched his head like she knew he liked as her other hand ran along his chest, exploring him. She really should do that more often.
He shook his head a little bit, "You just like using me to reward yourself.."He grinned a bit. It was a little surprising, but she didn't want to just table this conversation. He listened to her go on and he wondered about it, the most simplistic answer was also the right one. "Would there have ever been a good time?"He asked her, knowing probably there really wouldn't be.
He shook his head a little bit and smiled back at her, enjoying that he could help her have a good birthday in the end. Now it seemed she wanted some more kissing, or just to enjoy his body, he'd let her of course. He kissed her and let his hands run up and down her sides it seemed that they couldn't decide between being romantic or continuing to talk, she wanted both it seemed like.
She rolled her eyes at him. "If I stopped doing that, you would never get a reward," she teased back with a small smile. Still, she slightly thought of her father. How was she supposed to handle this situation? She honestly had no idea as she gave a thoughtful nod. "So you're saying it would be worth having him back?" she asked, though she supposed he had to say that, "Just, why now of all times? I mean, he could have come at some many different times." Perhaps it irked her that he hadn't come sooner?
It didn't have to be done, but she thought that sentence did merit some reaction. She molded against him as his arms went around her and her hand cupped his cheek. Arching a brow at what he said, she shook her head. "So this was all for you personal amusement," she teased before smiling, "Thank you. I did like the surprise party for the most part. I love you." Happily, she kept kissing him, running a hand through his hair as the other ran along his chest.
"I thought you were done rewarding my bad behaviors."He teased a bit, but was happy enough it seemed to lighten the tone. He was grateful he could calm her down and get her into such a state anyway. Listening to her he could only let out a small breath, "They also say the harder things are usually worth it in the end.."He didn't know if he was more or less qualified to help her out with this, since he had no parents. "I'm not saying you have to forgive him, and I don't think he's saying that either, but it seemed like he did want to be in your life, so I assume at least he just wants you to know before long that he does care about you and realizes what he did." That was what he thought anyway. "At least it seems that way to me."
Her reaction if it would have been the same would have been a bit funnier if he used stronger words, but it seemed that her time for talking about this right now was done, as she moved into his lap to kiss him. He kissed her back, his arms holding her to him. A small moment for a break, "I am sorry I waited all day to mention anything, but you light up so much when everyone popped out.."He smiled at her, "I love seeing you so elated."He informed her before pressing his lips back to her's.
She gave a shrug. "Maybe it is," she replied, possibly musing softly. There was something very relaxing about him rubbing her back. She took a deep breath to calm her mind. "People would say that him wanting to would be the first step and that from here it's my job to come towards him," she pointed before shrugging, "Can you blame him? He hasn't seen me in ages either." Somehow she could understand it.
His words did make her smile softly. Those were sweet words. "Thank you," she said and sighed, "I suppose so. I know you meant well." She knew that he would never want to hurt her. Could she look at him like that? Without hatred and remembering what had happened before? "I don't know," she replied honestly. How would she ever know that?
Hearing what she said, she rolled her eyes. "What, that wasn't a reaction enough?" she asked amused before shrugging, "Maybe. I guess we'll never know now." Chuckling she did move onto his lap and kissed him softly simply because she could.
He did shift the conversation and chuckled a little to himself starting to laugh more. "You totally nodded as if it was the next option."He chuckled a little bit more but continued just resting with her rubbing her back. He did offer a small breath after though. "I don't know how he could..I just know that..he seemed to want to at first."He informed her, "He really kind of toned it down when he actually saw you, but..I dunno. I suppose he just wanted to be in your life and I think to myself that..you did turn out this way..into this amazing woman regardless of the lack of his help, and who am I to deprive someone of wanting to be around you."He didn't really know too much how to explain. "I don't know that he can make it up to you..I suppose he just wants to try."He informed her, "It might obviously be too late, but he doesn't think so."He offered her, "It does really depend on if you could look at him and not be mad, but look at him and finally see someone who does care for you."He told her, at least how he saw it.
He did manage to chuckle again, "Would it have worked better if I used the f word and said your brains out?"
She doubted that it could have ever been how he imagined. After all, it had been quite the train wreck. Honestly, she wasn't sure what he could have expected after they hadn't seen each other in quite a few years.
He was probably right. She had effectively shut down any and all chances of talking. "He shows up after years. No surprise that I'm a little overwhelmed," she pointed out and feeling his arm around her leaned against him slightly, "I know you meant well. It's just... A lot to think of and take in. You real believe he wants to make up? How can he even?" She did trust his judgment... most of the time. Feeling him rub her back, she cuddled more against him. "Yeah, that's why," she agreed with a nod. What a strange hangup to have.
She was thinking on what to do, running a hand through her hair when he said that. She nodded absent-mindedly before staring at him. "What?" she asked, clearly surprised before chuckling, "You are impossible." she leaned over to kiss his cheek, shaking her head.
He shook his head a little bit as she scolded him and he let out a small breath. All in all he figured it wasn't. "I didn't know if it was or not..and you never really talked or didn't about him, just sort of redirected, and he was possibly a part of the wedding..it definitely wasn't like I imagined."He admitted to her, knowing he thought it would go..well better, maybe that he'd have more to say. He scratched the back of his head as he made his way over to sit down next to her. "I'm sorry..he was much more convincing and sounded..a lot more like he wanted to connect with you on the phone..I assume you shut him down from a lot of that."He stated, but looked to her, "Not that I blame you or anything, I'm just guessing as to what happened.."He let out a sigh as his arm found it's way around her. "I think I do have questions, but the first one being if you really even feel like answering any at all right now."He figured she might not want to talk about any of it while she still had a lot of thinking to do. "I guess...One thing that did hit me was why you used to be so against cooking for one..it makes a lot more sense now."He offered to her his arm slowly rubbing up and down her back.
Perhaps some absurd comedy would throw her for a quick loop, "Well..could always just screw the memory out of you for hm?"He glanced over at her, either striking out or dazing her with that one, but after all it was her birthday.
She hadn't gotten a number from him, but she did assume that Craig had one, since he had somehow invited him here. In the end she was happy to see him go, whether that be with an awkward handshake or not.
When the door closed behind him she stood there for a moment, her mind reeling with everything as she tried to process what to think, feel and everything else. When he spoke up she looked to him, not really amused. "What were you thinking? Did you really think this was a good idea?" she demanded to know, not fully mad but definitely irritated, "Did you at least consider asking me first?"
She gave a sigh as she grabbed the last things to bring them into the kitchen. Then she returned to sit down on the couch, looking to him. "Well, was it at least like you imagined?" she asked, now visibly calmer, "I'm assuming you have some questions." It wasn't like she had spoken a lot about her past.
That was rough to say the least, and to top it all off they ended with a handshake. A part of him cringed a little inside that neither of them knew if a hug was okay. "Take care." He said as her father went out of the door and Craig turned to Tamara. He didn't know if he was in for an earful or if he was supposed to comfort her at this particular moment in time. This all seemed confusing to him in the end, there was a lot to process, but maybe she didn't feel like talking about her past anymore today, or leaving anything up to him. She could potentially just be mad and he wouldn't really be able to argue against it this time, but he really had no idea. "So...Happy Birthday.."He said again, maybe being a little of his usual silly self, but not too committed.
The ball was mostly in her court here as he kind of just stood there as well.
It wasn't like her father had been an alcoholic, but he had definitely indulged in the spirits more than he should and at the same time leaned on her too heavily. Either way, it had not ended well and now they were sitting here and she had no idea what to say.
Hearing the suggestion about waiting for an answer, the father nodded. "That is probably for the best. After all, I don't know what you have planned and the like," he agreed. "Yeah, that's probably for the best," she concurred.
She didn't know what to say and it seemed to be clear from the pause that was stretching out. Her father didn't really seem to know what to do either. Finally he broke the pause, "It seems my visit was quite the surprise and it is late. Perhaps we should call it a night for now and we could meet up again tomorrow or whenever else you have time. It would give us time to think in peace." Automatically she nodded. It seemed like a good idea. "Yeah...," she agreed and they both slowly rose. There was another awkward moment before they slowly shook their hands.
Hearing what just took place he felt something click in his head, retroactively feeling bad for now knowing why she might not have liked to cook herself anymore, but they had gotten over that hurdle already. He really had no idea that was part of the problem but he understood more now. It seemed anyway that she was caught, being engaged and all, though truly wearing a ring did kind of give that away.
He didn't really know they had such a drinking problem either, just that Tamara took care of him and not the other way around. Craig truly couldn't answer whether or not he was invited either, again she mostly brushed off the question about him if their planner asked. "I can't decide for you..but there shouldn't be any pressure to answer right away."He stated, though that was more as a tip for her father and not as a comfort to her, he hoped both feelings would come through so she wouldn't be able to tell though. At the very least this could bring up some much needed discussions between the two about her past, not that she enjoyed talking about it much, it just seemed a lot that he didn't know about her.
It was nice to feel Craig move behind her. It sort of meant to her that he was backing her, figurative and literally. Still, she was aware that she hadn't mentioned the wedding. Why should she? She saw no reason why she should until some things were cleared up.
The question made her think. Had there been anything good between them? "You mean after my mother died?" she asked before thinking more. Most things she could think of were when her mother was still alive. "We had some fun cooking together. You were always amazing at that," her father reminded her. "You mean the few time I bought food and you were sober," she pointed out, not sure if that point was helping her.
She reached for her glass on the table for a sip of her drink. That was when her father saw the ring on her finger. "You are engaged?" he asked, indicating towards the ring. She paused unsure how to answer. "I am," she finally replied slowly, pulling her hand back to her lap. "Congratulations...," her father told her before it slowly dawned on him, "I am not invited, am I?" "There hasn't been a decision on that yet," she admitted, since honestly she hadn't thought on it until now. Now she had to make a decision.
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