☆ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs ᴏғ ᴀ ғɪᴇɴᴅ ☆

/ By Hostile [+Watch]

Replies: 503 / 3 years 289 days 13 hours 33 minutes 22 seconds

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Everyone says it’s better off if I just drop it.

Maybe I am?

I don’t know. Just know it’s at a stand still and tbh I’m comfortable with it.

I believe I got approved for unemployment. Crazy huh?
  ʟᴀɢᴇʀᴛʜᴀ / Indefinite / 105d 2h 54m 27s
I love you so much.
I still do.
I’m okay if you hate me. Not really lol but I’ll still love you is what I mean.

Gary said “what’s there to lose? Plus you have a back up plan if it fails.”

I love you so much. It’s why I’m so angry. It’s weird even saying I’m mad at you. It’s weird knowing I’m being so critical when you’ve been there for me all along. I feel wrong for being mad. But it’s how I feel. Normally when it comes to other people, I wouldn’t have flinched. Would have said “I support you no matter what” and that would be that.

I don’t know why it clouds my mind knowing you’re doing this.

I don’t know how to make all of this stop. Because I love you more than I’ve ever loved any other friend. Shit, probably as much as I did coco. I miss him everyday. I miss coco like I fucking lost a part of me and it hurts more and more everyday knowing I won’t get coco back. Some days I want to run and tell someone something funny and I think of coco and I just break down. This shit hurts more than a break up. This shit hurts more than being cheated on.

I love you and all I’ve ever wanted was to show you that. I wanted you to know and to see you’re so worthy of love and happiness. It’s why I’m so mad. I feel like this is an insult to all of my love for you. Pretty stupid. Selfish of me, even.

It pains me to know that’s how you feel about me. But I know by now my words don’t mean shit.

Gary said you’d be fine without me. When I was in tears worried about leaving you. Gary said that this was good for me and you’re in great hands.

I told myself you were in great hands. And I’m glad to see you are.

I’m glad things are so much better off without me. I’m glad you’re moving on without me when everyday I’ve thought of you wishing you were here with me. I didn’t throw you away, don’t listen to your mean brain. To be honest I figured you’d be fine because I didn’t think I even meant that much to you. I heard you say to me you missed Maine and I felt like I couldn’t even compare to your love for it. I heard you say you cried that night and I cried too.

I miss you wholeheartedly but I’m not severing what ever it is that’s left of this. Not because I’m dicking out, but because I love you and I always will.

I love you even if you say I threw you away. I love you even if you don’t even love yourself. I love you more than you could ever imagine to love yourself. I love you even if you don’t love me. You can say what ever you want about how I did this or that for you, but I showed you how much I love you. If you can’t see that I don’t know what else I can do. I’ll never be enough and I guess we’re just back to me always adoring you from a distance. It would be ironic. Our relationship ending like how it started. Me just loving you.
  ʟᴀɢᴇʀᴛʜᴀ / Indefinite / 105d 9h 10m 0s
“So I know you ain’t really keeping up with me on how things have been going
I know I hurt you because I do things impulsively. I appreciate that you care enough about me to even be hurt that I would even do something bad for me
Even if it’s a smidge bad
But I know I go big or go home lol
I miss you and things have been hard without talking to you
I was hurt when you randomly did that to me
I guess it wasn’t random now that I’m thinking of it
I’m sorry that the things I do make you worry yourself to being physically unwell
Just know I am only human trying to do my best
You have to let me make my own mistakes
Even if it hurts you and you know it’s wrong
I’ll try to do better
I have been
I miss my friend so let me have her back”
  ʟᴀɢᴇʀᴛʜᴀ / Indefinite / 107d 6h 23m 12s
[center I wanna sit here all night and cry

i have to pull it together

i'm not crying over you

i'm not doing this again

i refuse to let myself hurt over someone like this again
yes, again
i never labeled you of being my bad guy
you're just your own
and in turn just fucking kills me

not my problem

and these feelings? are mine. not yours.

can i get financial compensation for all this trauma lmao
  ʟᴀɢᴇʀᴛʜᴀ / Indefinite / 107d 11h 55m 26s
AH

ALL I WANT IS TO PROPERLY PLAY MODDED MC WITH THE LOML

BUT NOOOO

NOT ONLY THAT BUT MY FUCKING BAAAACCKKKKK

A

my jam jam slept curled up while I was trying to cut his nails it was fucking adorable I always want to spend time with him but I HAVE TO DO STUPID HUMAN THINGS LIKE EAT OR HE HAS TO POOP ON ME
  ʟɪᴇʙᴇ / Indefinite / 111d 14h 48m 2s
I want to sleep
I’m tired

I don’t want to be out

I just want to cuddle in my nest

People are exhausting and interacting with the public is exhausting

Let me sleep the days away
  ʟɪᴇʙᴇ / Indefinite / 114d 22h 31m 14s
I FORGOT TO SAY
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BITCH

I SHOULD'VE IGNORED YOU WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA DRINK BLEACH TO STOP ME FROM LEAVING YOU

I WANNA TELL YOU TO DRINK BLEACH BUT WE ALL KNOW YOU WEREN'T GONNA

YOU DON'T HAVE THE PUSSY TO DO IT BITCH

I HOPE MANY MORE YEARS OF MISERABLE LIFE BEFALLS ON YOUR BITCH ASS

HERE'S TO 24 MORE YEARS OF YOUR SCOLIOSIS FUCKING YOU UP

wait are you 24
lol i almost didnt even remember your birthday so ofc i dont remember your age

you were so fucking terrible to me i don't even give a fuck just hope you fucking suffer you little limp dick
  ʟɪᴇʙᴇ / Indefinite / 115d 2h 25m 9s
:I

I was so happy when you broke up with him.
I knew you were going to do bigger better things. You really did do what you could after the break up. I thought you were getting your life going.

Admittedly it was a tad annoying. Annoying you had to post about it 84717628 times a day. Yes, I was happy you were trying to start losing weight and being healthy. Yes, I was happy you tried to find things that made you happy.

But all of that just for you to get back with him. He was and still is garbage.

People don’t change. Not that easy.

I hoped better for you, honestly.

But if you’re happy then so be it.
  ʟɪᴇʙᴇ / Indefinite / 115d 13h 34m 50s
Me: *makes my profile pink and cute*
Everyone: ur a boy?
  ʟɪᴇʙᴇ / Indefinite / 116d 12h 7m 26s
I really need to be focusing on the stock market now.

Since the corona virus has brought everything down, it's an opportune time to buy them. So I bought a few shares of some things I know would recover fine after the virus panic is over.

Here's to hoping it does something for me, yeah?
  ʟɪᴇʙᴇ / Indefinite / 119d 31m 34s
"pisseth off"
"thou stupid asshole"
-nier automata
  ʟɪᴇʙᴇ / Indefinite / 119d 23h 2m 4s
Me: *being a horse girl enjoying my horse girl game*
DMs: *GETS AN AGGRESSIVELY LOVING MESSAGE*
Me: qwq <3
  ᴊᴏʏ / Indefinite / 120d 21h 39m 11s
Shout out to Travis for literally being a terrible person and I never saw it until I met Alex. Thanks Travis for being so terrible you led me to him. Fuck ya chicken strips
  ᴊᴏʏ / Indefinite / 122d 2h 48m 16s
Daily reminder my son Jamjam is my favorite win the entire whole ass world and I love him so much

You ever love something so much you wanna bite its face off well I do
He is my precious sweet child and you know what I will drown him in my love even if that boi fucking hates water

Speaking of water today he tried curling up and his head was underwater for a good three seconds and he realized he couldn’t breathe and oh lord my son light up my life this sweet summer child

I gave him a mealworm for being such good boy and hearing his little snacks are so adorable

I have zero regrets getting him and he fills my heart with so much joy but I always feel bad holding him because I feel like he has a rough time sleeping on me. And since I take him out early in the morning or late at night he is a bit fussy. Being a nocturnal baby and all.

Tbh we are looking at houses and the one we saw today is so so big and I would nothing more than to give him more space to run and smell things. I know he would love it so much and he deserves so much ugh qwq

I could write love letters to my baby everyday and still not get tired of him.

Baby boy I look forward to the day you see how much I love being around you.

[hr ]

Today was a good day. I didn’t feel like doing anything but I did with my sweetheart. He got upsetti because some girl put her opinion on something we didn’t ask but LOL he was just hungry so I made him stop at McDonald’s to snack. Because I love him and I’d rather him snack than be hangry. I really love him with. If anyone else did half the things he did to me I’d be so pissed. Love really makes you adore everything about a person. True love. This shit here. Gang gang. I love him no matter what shittery he throws at me. Hahaha.
  ᴊᴏʏ / Indefinite / 122d 12h 38m 9s
I’m glad you listened to fucking someone. It wasn’t me, of course, but you listened. Still what ever to me.

You knew going in what it was. I told you how it is.

I’m not over it. I’m not visiting.

I’m glad someone is guiding you. I couldn’t and can’t.
  ᴊᴏʏ / Indefinite / 122d 22h 4m 48s
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