☆ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs ᴏғ ᴀ ғɪᴇɴᴅ ☆

/ By Hostile [+Watch]

Replies: 547 / 3 years 364 days 17 hours 36 minutes 16 seconds

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Roleplay Responses

Our offer got accepted
We gonna be grown ups
With a house and shit
With a yard and fuckin

A basement
Wild man

A house

Jamjam finally gets that upgrade I’ve been dreaming of

I can lay on the floor that is carpet

This is amazing
The house is beautiful
And 1800 ft

The neighborhood is so cute too

I hope the inspection comes through with flying colors
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 84d 16h 39m 14s
As much as I hate being reminded about travis lately that’s all I’ve been thinking of

And I know it’s because my brain would rather be defensive and to prevent Travis from ever happening again. But it still makes me feel so gross.

I can’t help but remember what a fuckin piece of shit he is and being thankful I am where I am now. The only problem is when I remember it brings that headspace back. The feelings, the fear, the anger, self hatred, disgust.... all the ugly emotions that I’d rather die than to have again.

He still haunts my dreams, he still makes my stomach turn, he still holds the trauma over me. I know it doesn’t make it right by saying I wasn’t great either. But I definitely know I turned so ferocious because of how he controlled me. So it wasn’t like I was innocent either. Doesn’t change what he has done to me.

And I’m sure what I’ve done to him hasn’t affected him as severely as his actions have on me.
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 85d 4h 52m 34s
Ever feel like you are señor fuck up that can’t do anything goddamn right

Because hi
It’s me
Just gonna drink some Tabasco straight that usually calms my goddamn suicidal thoughts lmao

I guess it’s how I repent for my damned sins of having the audacity to be alive lol
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 86d 20h 57m 38s
bruh i'm all on board with saki and tohru getting married

saki's love for tohru is absolutely adorable and these boys cant compete at this point because you cant even acknowledge his feelings and Yuki just too damaged to be able to marry her

y no one else ship dis
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 88d 4h 7m 38s
I feel disgusted with this sitting on me today.

Mainly because it reminds me of when I ignored when Travis literally slept with a minor and I chose to ignore it knowing well I couldn’t forget it. I try to tell myself it’s because he wouldn’t let me leave him. Which is true. He wouldn’t. He physically wouldn’t let me pack. He threatened his life. I was trapped. But I still feel guilty about it.

I feel sick for enabling it.

I always feel sick knowing I dated two guys who willingly would have sexual relations with minors.

I want someone to make me feel better, but I feel like what I need to do is repent.
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 90d 20h 33m 15s
It sucks that cryaotic was what got me into creepy pastas. It sucks that so many people who have trauma used him as an escape and now are triggered by him.

Well I’d say it was nice but you shitted on all of it and it only seemed to be so you could save face before you could be exposed.
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 91d 1h 51m 52s
bruh i finished bakarina and domekano fucking what do now

my life is incomplete and I'm now suffering the "lol back to the real world this fumking sucks" feels

i loved that feeling after leaving the movie theaters and tbh its nice tog et that feeling even with the pandemic going on

domekano made me want to try writing again and practicing my Japanese but

das work LOL
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 91d 5h 7m 4s
Bro everything I touch is muthafukin cursed .-.

Frank fucking jumped out of the tank even when the lid was on
And died
How tf do I just have this bad of luck

This city’s water is fucking cursed too u.u
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 92d 18h 44m 27s
There’s one week left til this public MEP is due
I should join NOW to REALLY put the pressure on myself
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 97d 7h 9m 6s
Ugh I have a headache

Probably because I’ve just been stupidly frustrated with astroneer and pushing myself to keep playing it

I think if I do it’ll get fun again but meh

It’s just a headache rn
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 98d 20h 9m 21s
Last night is just a night of emotional dreams. I dreamt about Devon. It's been a long time since I thought of you. Probably months. That's more likely.

Every time I wonder where you could have gone. And why you've left me when you said you wanted to catch up. I admit as a child our relationship was indeed childish. What would you expect from a twelve-year-old? But I remember those nights so well. Waiting to hear from you. Missing you and wondering when I will ever get to hear from you. Is that all we ever will be? Playing phone tag? It hurts me deeply knowing you'll never contact me again. I have hope, but I know that you'll never come back. Why would you?

I wish I could figure out the meaning of this. Of us meeting. If it was just for me to continue to connect to someone who will never pick up, why?

Believing in "things happen just because it can" isn't a good enough answer for me. Even if it's the one I believe with all my heart. We met just because we could. We never will again, just because.
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 100d 9h 12m 8s
Had a dream about them.

I’ve been pretty decent with not checking up on them but there are days I can’t fight it.

In my dream they finally spoke to me.

Made me so angry I straight up woke from my sleep to double check if a bitch really did try me lol.

Truth is I want them to hurt. I don’t like that. I don’t like that part of me. I want to wish them the best. Even if it took me years to realize it’s not likely. The more I think about the more I realize it’s be better if I just cut them out. But since they’re always bouncing here and there I don’t really [i have] a choice but to constantly see their existence, do I?

I want me to let it be. I wish I could let all this anger go. I shouldn’t detest people who are bound to fuck up no matter what. That’s their shit to deal with.

I’ve gotten basically everything and more I could have ever dreamed of out of a relationship.

I won’t stoop so low as to continuing to dislike someone who isn’t as blessed as I am.

I’m going to be different.

So I hope you have a nice life and grow healthy.

I’ve always been much more at peace knowing I’m states away from the people who have hurt me. Travis doesn’t even bother me anymore. What’s he gonna do? Tell me he’s got a house from his aunt that he doesn’t know how to fix? [s There I go hating the unfortunate again...] I’m starting to wonder if this would all go away if they’d just leave like they kept saying they would.

I’m so glad I don’t keep toxic ass relationships anymore.
They’ve hurt me and they left me with ghost pains, but never do I have to go to bed with tears again.

Bless tf up. It’s time for me to acknowledge my shit and grow bigger and better.
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 100d 14h 39m 50s
Damn mun spitting straight petty up in this bitch

Also spent all day downloading ark
And for what
It doesn’t fucking wanna let us play together
Epic games hates it
Xbox for pc hates it

I’m just convinced im not meant to play survival games

I mean I suck at them but
I still enjoy the fuck out of them
They probably the only games I can really get myself to play anymore

  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 100d 18h 17m 7s
hi, brain

why do you ship everyone together???
asking for a friend
psst that friend is me, bitch


I've always loved zack and aerith more too >w>
their dynamic was so cute and heartbreaking
oh my fucking god why am i fuckin hitting goddamn blocks

blocks on wanting to watch more anime, blocks on practicing my crafts, blocks on wanting to do things
i'm fuckin annoyed

i just want to be good at mother fuckin something

but guess what, stupid bitch can't do fuckin anyhting

can't even sleep right

whats the goddamn point of being alive if I'm just wondering what the fuck am i gonna be doing

sick of it
  ᴛsᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ʙᴏɪ / Indefinite / 102d 20h 51m 35s

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