☆ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs ᴏғ ᴀ ғɪᴇɴᴅ ☆

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Since I’m dying and there’s nothing I can do about it let’s talk about racism in the creation of characters on tv shows

Some of these are tv shows I absolutely love and adore mind you

But wtf is up with the “Hispanic woman who is emotionally closed off and tough as shit” stereotype

[b The Magicians]: Kady. Kady has an especially great story, she is a hedge witch. Hedge witches are often seen as the drug addicts of the magic world. HMM. Smells like some bullshit stereotype already to me. How often are Hispanic people depicted as thugs? Oh right. Too fuckin often. And this is written off as “they’re desperate and do what it takes to live.” DONT get me wrong, it’s a nice spice to a character. But I’ve seen it too often in Hispanic roles. Kady is also blunt. If there’s something she doesn’t like she voices it. Like Julia not killing Reynard. Remember how I said Hedge Witches are like the drug addicts of the Magic world? Well, Kady is ACTUALLY a drug addict. She grew up poor, fending for herself and her mom, doesn’t listen to what she doesn’t want to hear, and loves hard. If you don’t think this is stereotyped on Hispanic women maybe keep your eyes peeled. She also chooses to open up to very few people. The only people she got especially close to was Penny and Julia. Kady has very few different defining traits that barely makes her stand out. She knows ASL. Some of Kady’s strong points are the fact she is so intelligent. She is snuck into the school to steal books, resources, anything magic related. Yet she keeps up with the classes like a natural. She has a great singing voice. In fact this was brought up many times throughout the series. She’s very talented vocally. But that also just falls into the “she’s not who you think she is” stereotype. Ex: She’s a badass, but she has unexpected qualities. Often used on Hispanic characters. She is also surrounded by tragedy. Her mother is murdered. After recovering from her mother’s death she makes friend who were all slaughtered before her eyes. The god responsible for the slaughtering was not brought to “justice” Which for her was death. She was forced to murder a demigod whom she didn’t want to murder. Penny is dying for many episodes before her eyes and they can’t meet very often because if he is on earth time continues on his body and the cancer ensues. She also has anger issues... surprise. But she is very willing to talk about it with those close to her.

[b Orange is the New Black]: Rosa. She’s in prison because she robbed banks with her ex boyfriends. Now this show is about criminals so we can’t exactly call some shit on her being Hispanic and a criminal. Her life is also surrounded by tragedy. The group she used to rob banks with were her friends and a boyfriend. Only later to end up dating all of them. Each time each boyfriend would die from the robbery because things would go astray. She is the only survivor of her bank robbing group. But she has cancer. There’s the tragedy. She tends to keep to her own group and isn’t keen on opening up. She is old and dying, though. Old people are bitches. Her defining traits? She almost doesn’t even have any. Her role was appraised because she stole a van and killed of an annoyance of a character.

[b Brooklyn Nine Nine]: another Rosa, lol. Rosa is a common name so I’ll give it that. But here it is again. The bad ass who doesn’t take no for an answer. She doesn’t ask for help and she doesn’t like anyone knowing anything about her. Are you getting bored yet? Because this is all so repetitive? She is often seen breaking any machine or electronic that doesn’t cooperate with her. There are many times she is very hostile and critical with her coworkers. She’s also very blunt. In one of my favorite scenes she tells her superior he and his husband are fighting because they need to have sex. Despite the fact it is a workplace environment and it was in front of everyone. She has issues with her family and becomes especially worried about her relationship with her mother. She doesn’t say much about her family at first, saying they’re too happy about everything. But later she’s imprisoned after being framed for a crime she didn’t do, she decides its time to become closer to her family despite their differences. Her love life is often very wild. She loves people she describes are “creeps.” Her long time ex-boyfriend/ex-fiancé was a man who suffered from PTSD from being undercover for 12 years. She liked strange and questionable men. But often her relationships ended badly for her. The ex fiancé however ended a lot calmer than usual. With him sobbing at the department window. Defining traits? Rosa is able to put on a facade with no problem. When visiting her apartment, a staff member describes her has happy, giggly, and quite a talker. The group even compliments her taste on interior design. Growing up she went to a catholic school and learned ballet. But regardless of these traits that try to make her stand out it just seems like it falls into the “surprise she’s not all badass, you’ve never seen this side of her” to try and make her 3 dimensional. She is however bisexual, this plays a large role in the later seasons because she is scared her parents won’t accept her sexuality. She even is afraid to introduce her girlfriend to her Captain because she sees him as a father figure. Her bond with Captain Holt definitely makes her different from the previous two. Their relationship sees awkward moments , understanding , appreciation , and so much more. She is shaped into a 3 dimensional character throughout the series and it blends very well regardless of the disturbing stereotypes thrown in. She loves things people wouldn’t expect her to and instead of being taught that “it’s ok to depend on others” she is encouraged to push herself further.

All in all I just wish Hispanic roles in media didn’t depict strong women the same way. Strong women come in different shapes and sizes. They aren’t just black leather jacket wearing fighters. They could be a nurse who was adopted and stutters. It’s “daring” to stray from typical tv troupes/what people think certain races are like but it makes characters so much more real.
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 44d 4h 55m 25s
Bruh this migraine can fuck off
Why does my body hate me so goddamn much
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 44d 7h 1m 32s
Me: girls that can kick my ass are attractive
Also me: *cries when there’s any tension between me and another living being even if it’s my imagination*
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 46d 12h 23m 44s
[center As of late, things haven't been right. I have been bored with the things I do. I can't get myself to do anything. It's probably because I'm just burned out. Or just one of those days. With all the highs, come the lows. My hip and legs have been sore. Egh. I just don't have much interest in anything right now.

I don't even have an interest in eating anymore. I don't want to eat but I know I have to feed my body. I am willing to eat, but eating in itself always makes me happy. I just find it pointless to cook something I'm not even excited about.

I woke up to a message this morning and while the news was-thankfully-debunked, it was not pleasant revisiting a dead relationship. I'm not upset at the person for notifying me, I'm glad they can voice their concerns with me. And that I was able to clarify things.... I'm just upset being reminded that nothing really ever changes with people.

I'm always sentimental about my past. Especially with people. I treasure those I allow in my life. So any falling out is heartbreaking. But I've become so exhausted with being worried for people who can't muster the strength to care for themselves. There's a line of "they need help and love" and "they're comfy with their self-destructive behavior and don't plan to change."

It's tricky, with mental illness. But at the end of the day if it is negatively affecting me to the point I can't function, then maybe we just weren't meant to have contact with one another. Sometimes the people who care about you aren't the people equipped to help you. Sometimes the people you care for just refuse to budge despite all the love you shower them in.

Things are so much more complicated than black or white. There are wavelengths other than visible light. People are so much more than just a troupe or stereotype.

I understand this.

I don't know what today holds.. But I want to try my best to enjoy it. Even in this slug.
  ʟᴏᴠᴇ / Indefinite / 48d 5h 17m 35s
Hi my name is Emma and my age is 22 and I ship the following:

Kagura Sesshomaru
Miroku Inuyasha
Sango Inuyasha
Sango Miroku
Kikyo Inuyasha
Kagome Inuyasha
Sesshomaru Rin
Sesshomaru Kagome
Koga Kagome
Koga Ayame
Rin Kohaku

The list goes on for some reason I just love everyone
  ⱽᶦᵗʳᶦᵒˡᶦᶜ / Indefinite / 48d 23h 5m 57s
Rewatching Inuyasha has reminded me the reasons why I fell in love with anime

The boys =q=
So tsundere so dreamy
  ⱽᶦᵗʳᶦᵒˡᶦᶜ / Indefinite / 49d 21h 47m 56s
Me almost always: nobody cares about me lol I have zero friends who think I’m important
Also me: man do I love my friends and they’re all so important to me I wish I could shoW THEM HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM
How is my bf so cute
Questions for god and more
After these paid messages
  ⱽᶦᵗʳᶦᵒˡᶦᶜ / Indefinite / 53d 8h 50m 36s
Hello
I am miserable
My throat is still really annoying
It hurts enough to be annoying and makes me not wanna talk sometimes

Otherwise doesn’t hurt that much

I also don’t wanna eat but when I’m rreeeeaaally hungry I eat

So I eat at least once a day
  ⱽᶦᵗʳᶦᵒˡᶦᶜ / Indefinite / 53d 9h 50m 21s
GUESS WHO HAS TO PEE AGAIN
HYDRATION IS NOT A FUCKIN JOKE

CAN YOUR URETHRA FUCKIN GET DAMAGE FROM PEEING SO MUCH
  ⱽᶦᵗʳᶦᵒˡᶦᶜ / Indefinite / 53d 21h 38m 56s
Might find another cover for this song, but I really wanna remake a MV for it. I did FFXIII for it years ago for my ex. I really love this song though because I'm basic as shit. Idk what media I'd use tho
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT9CZ4QbdCU]
want to be productive
doesnt want to do anything

fuc
  ⱽᶦᵗʳᶦᵒˡᶦᶜ / Indefinite / 55d 20h 31m 46s
Asked my spirit guides this morning if I could see them today or sometime soon. The cards said I wasn’t ready.

So I asked about my past life. How did I die?

The story they gave me was that I was more than likely pregnant, living happily with what I had. I earned what I had and life was looking up. Everything was looking up. There was mainly water, fire, and earth signs. I had a choice to make, knowing I had to trust my intuition, I made the choice that ultimately lead to my death. The situation didn’t sound gloomy at all. It sounded like I was about to live it up. Then blackness.

Maybe my spirit guides just wanted me to practices my mind more.

After all, one reading exhausts the ever loving fuck outta me.
  ⱽᶦᵗʳᶦᵒˡᶦᶜ / Indefinite / 58d 18h 51m 0s
I would like to say I remembered when you opened your Christmas present. But I was so sleepy.
I remember being so excited to have you open it up. I knew you would love it. The bell sounds just like the one in the game. We had just finished Wind Waker and I remember how much I loved the little Koroks. And feeding the fish to map out the ocean. I’m happy I got to rediscover my favorite childhood game with you. I loved Christmas, because I love getting people gifts. I love making people feel loved. And the one person who I want to feel the most loved is you. Sometimes you still pick up Makar and shake him to hear the cute little rings.

I only had about four hours of sleep, but I’m happy to have woken up in your arms. I only got up because my nose was dry and tickling me.

I’m happy and thankful you’re so patient with me. I know you want to solve all my problems even when I want to avoid them. And I’m so thankful for that. I love that I can trust you. You haven’t put a doubt in my mind abo it where I stand. We talk about our point of views all the time and I am so happy we can communicate so well. When you grab my meds and fill my water bottle up in the morning while I sleep, I do notice it. It fills me with so much love.

How can someone so wonderful love me so much? It makes me so happy. So content. Knowing that I may not have a platonic close relationship, I can at least have you as company. And even when I’m with other people I always wish I could just be with you. I know you’re not social, not like me, so I don’t try to force you. I love you.

You’re so much more than I could have ever thought to ask for.
On the note of being “important” to people
I guess I can officially say I have zero importance to the people I thought I mattered to. Not all of them. Just some. The ones I thought I’d always have their back. The ones who could never do wrong in my eyes.

Even now I know I’m not even worth a quick peek. They aren’t struggling like I am. So why do I keep on bothering?

Huh.

I have serious attachment issues.

I couldn’t let go of my exes either before I met Alex. I cherish the relationships I have because it’s so rare I even get any. I don’t quite fit with other people’s social groups.

I don’t really dwell on my exes but the feeling of “I wish we could still be friends and occasionally talk” is still there. It’s miserable. Wanting to check up on the people who tore you down. I wasn’t guilty free, because when you’re with someone you shouldn’t be with-things get ugly. The bad on both ends just create more friction that poisons the rest of who you are. I am not the person I was when I was with Travis. We made each other into terrible people. But he refused to see it. It’s horrible that I want to stay in contact with lost relationships that have done me more harm than good. But it is what it is.

Bear has yet to tell me who this mystery girl is. I don’t want to make him tell me if he’s not comfortable. I want him to open up to me because he wants to. I’m fine with never knowing. I have to be. I’m his friend. But the fact he said I KNOW HER IS DRIVIGN ME NUTS. I have suspicion that it’s stitches but she doesn’t seem like the type. M16 went MIA since the Holidays. And she was into Zirus. There aren’t much girls in our “group.”

Playing Minecraft has really been keeping me busy. Well. I’m trying to keep myself busy. Otherwise I feel useless and dumb. I need to feel productive. I’m working on the Rats mod, so I’m excited. I haven’t touched it before but since I have zero tasks at hand I thought I might as well clear some quests and tame some rats.

My dreams have been good lately. They haven’t been school or college related so there isn’t crazy stress on me. The stories are very interesting. I’m enjoying myself again.

My roots are hella showing so if my bleach could get here-idfk last week that would be cool
  ⱽᶦᵗʳᶦᵒˡᶦᶜ / Indefinite / 62d 10h 9m 35s
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