☆ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs ᴏғ ᴀ ғɪᴇɴᴅ ☆

/ By Hostile [+Watch]

Replies: 576 / 4 years 73 days 14 hours 37 minutes 48 seconds

Allowed Users

  1. [Allowed] EileenTheCrow
  2. [Allowed] Indefinite
  3. [Allowed] Suga
  4. [Allowed] RagnarLodbrok
  5. [Allowed] Lagertha
  6. [Allowed] Mothra

[Center ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇɴsɪᴛɪᴠᴇ? ᴇᴀsɪʟʏ sᴡᴀʏᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴs ᴏғ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀs? ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀɴᴅʟᴇ ᴄʀᴜᴅᴇ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ? ᴘᴇʀʜᴀᴘs ᴛʜɪs ɪsɴ'ᴛ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇs ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ sᴇɴsᴇ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴʏᴡᴀʏ.

ɪᴛ's ʙᴇsᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ.

ʙᴜᴛ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴅɪᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʏᴇs ᴏғ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴏɴᴄᴇ, ғᴇᴇʟ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʏ.

ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʜᴇᴄᴋʟᴇʀs. ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟɪsᴛᴇɴ.
ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇғʟᴇᴄᴛ.
sᴏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴛʜᴇ sʜʀᴇᴅs ᴏғ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ.


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Roleplay Responses

Pepe's family got the cutest accents qwq

I love my pepe so much
why she sound so cute qwq

I'm so glad she's back in my life, everyday I'm so happy about it
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 1d 21h 25m 2s
I hope the end wasn’t painful.
I know I gave you a lot of shit but I love you.
Your brother will miss you, I’m sure. Who else is gonna groom him? Steal his food?

Rest well, Nathan.
You won’t be ever be alone. You’ll always be loved.
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 4d 19h 51m 36s
Streamed myself playing Nameless, and honestly I didn’t feel that nervous at all. I think it’s because I really connected with Eri. She doesn’t really feel like she can open up to people and that she’s just an outsider. But she has the dolls. And the dolls are here for me too. It’s really nice.

I might not have friends that love me as much as I’d love them, but for now I have the dolls.

That is enough for now. Even fictional characters wanting a playable character that I can project myself on it enough for my stupidly deprived heart.

All the pain has just made it prone to softening up to any sort of warmth from anyone.

Here’s hoping we get adult stuff done later today
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 8d 7h 20m 36s
Really glad I upped my dosage because when I'm off my birth control I get so fucking depressed my guy lmao.

friends? idk her
just gonna go fuck myself lol
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 8d 16h 1m 29s
It hurts knowing people can’t let me in.

I guess I never was someone a friend [i could] lean on.

I’m in so much pain knowing Pepe is not doing great and she’s just silent. I’m not used to it.

I’m stupidly clingy so it hurts so much not being able to talk to her.

Ugh. Better keep drawing though. It’s not her obligation to open up to me. No one is supposed to open up to me because I’m their friend. I just wish she would speak more than one sentence to me.

I thought I was so much closer to her than I am, I suppose.
Kinda dumb of me.
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 9d 21h 21m 56s
Learning is such a god fucking awful thing :'^)
I wanna scream until I fucking kill my vocal cords

in an optimistic view, I'm that much close to being able to post that I can be commissioned for 2D avatars. Lots of people are into the vstreamers. I certainly am too. It'll be worth it all in the end, I hope.

Please give me this, at least.
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 12d 17h 16m 52s
not long ago I said I felt like I only had a handful of people. Admittedly the people who made me smile tonight are still sort of held at arm's length, but I completely forgot how to laugh like that. With so many people.

It's why I loved co-op games so much.
It's why I always played games online. Playing Among Us tonight was really special for me.

I've wanted to play but had only one or two friends who I knew would come through.

Not all of my friends will get along either. I'm glad I've found myself here. Instead of isolating myself and ditching the server as per usual.

I've settled in.
Please don't hurt me.
Let me enjoy this at my distance.
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 15d 11h 29m 12s
Wow do I just love zero two’s quirkiness lmao

I really didn’t like hiro at first but I’m really starting to enjoy him

Also love goro smh he’s so pure
Love that boy

Now watching a lot of this has made me only agree that all the zero two Amvs are even BUGGER FUCKIN GARBAGE THAN I INITIALLY THOUGHT
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 19d 9h 44m 4s
Silas was the dream cat and Dunkin is the nightmare

I’ve thought about crying because he stresses me out so much
It feels like even with the play time we do give him nothing is ever enough and maybe having another kitten or even cat around would help his boredom

Best of luck to us on Friday
And best of luck to the person adopting Dunkin
I hope they’re ten times better than I am with him

Because I’m at a loss and it’s frustrating
Child cat loves to push buttons and it’s getting to me
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 21d 6h 20m 30s
[center Twenty Sixteen

When you were in school when you received change,
you were filled with excitement.
Curiosity as well.
You didn't care for the pennies, the nickels,
most definitely not the dimes.
Because the quarters sometimes hid pictures behind their faces.
Of parks in your country, you would hope to see.
You loved nature, so it was out of the question.
To collect the quarters that would bring you to these landscapes
at these landscapes you knew you'd probably never be.

So you collected them carefully.
Hid them in your coin purse.
Every time you would spend change you would make sure your friends were getting picked.
When your stomach ached from hunger,
because the last you at was at school lunch
scheduled at 11 am every day.
You'd go home with no knowledge on how to feed yourself.
Not even the idea to perhaps look up how you could.
You were still innocent.
Still a child, you didn't know what to do.

You'd see the vending machine
the one snug in its corner down the first hallway to the right.
You'd hope you had enough.

You'd hope what you had gotten for yourself would at least soften the shrieking pain in your gut begging for sustenance.
You knew it wouldn't.

Years pass and you've dropped out of the education you begged your family not to press you on about.
The education that was your ticket away from the aching in your heart knowing any pain that rung inside you did not have a voice to those who shared your blood.
It made your heart even break more.

You always spitefully say,
"it terrible year."
It certainly was for the world as well.

In that year you were at your lowest.
You stayed with someone who didn't deserve you.
You wrote about them all the time.
You loved them and you hated them
You counted them a blessing and a useless weight
just as you did with pennies, nickels, and any dime.

But you held onto those dimes because it meant you do something about the aching in your body.

You ignored infidelity by staring at the screen.
Submersed into a game.
At night you were alone, you didn't feel safe.
You didn't feel like your relationship was either.
Anything to keep the intrusive thoughts away.
To make time go by faster.

Truly, your only joy of these nights were the company you kept online.
And the breeze that hit your nose cold like a penny on your tongue.

It seems like a lifetime now, you've lost the relationship, you've lost the friends, you lost the home, lost your family....

But the only thing that stays with you is the cold winds of Winter.
The taste always comforts you, even if it brings all the memories with it.
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 23d 14h 6m 54s
For a hot two seconds Dunkin wasn’t a total shit lord
And an absolute cutie
For two goddamn seconds

I’ve taken up knitting again and honestly I have no fuckin clue why the loops get so fuckin tight, it honestly pisses me off lol.

But I learned the bee stitch so woop woop.
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 30d 15h 42m 47s
Not Inuyasha taking care of Kagome when she’s sick TwT
He’s so cute smfh
Like yes he chose Kikyo over Kagome but it’s only because he feels indebted to her. He truly loves them both wholeheartedly and ughhhh
Such a fuckin cutie
This is why I fell in love with this dumb ass anime as a kid TwT

Love me some dumb tsundere boys and he’s the one who started it fuckin all TwT
This whole ass dumb idiot still has my heart as a grown ass adult
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 31d 18h 31m 25s
It fills me with so much joy to be able to kiss you goodnight. It’s sad we can’t sleep together because my back is so finicky. But you’re always next to me when I wake up. And I’m with you when you fall asleep.
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 32d 13h 31m 45s
Had a dream I sliced my leg open to try and shave down some muscle or meat or something. And massage a muscle that was acting up. The pain still sits with me, it’s so clear. Yet I realize now that I dreamt of a bone I don’t even have being out of position. It hurt to move my leg. Feeling the muscles and the pain of my insides being exposed was fascinating.

But because I have no idea what it’s like, my brain just processed it as washing raw meat. Like chicken. It was strange.

But seeing inside my leg was so intriguing. Too bad that kind of pain would actually get me to pass out more than likely. I’d like to see my insides.
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 33d 6h 53m 45s
[center I’ve thought about writing my thoughts down from now on. But I do sincerely think few people care to check up on me here. They deserve that. Especially since I’m not much of a talker.

Not anymore.

I like writing by hand, it’s fun. I love penmanship. But my arms get tired writing for hours lol. That’s what I do sometimes here. Sit. Think. Write for hours. Not as gentle to my hands and arms to write with pen or pencil. Plus when I get comfy, I write so sloppy. I even struggle to decipher the words.

There’s just an unexplainable beauty to it though. Something in my heart wants to carry a small leather book with a ribbon to bind it, keeping a pencil and eraser with me always.

So much beauty in the world, it all seems overshadowed by the bluntness of mankind. Their selfish behavior, their lack of empathy.. It’s almost baffling to believe we created such beauty.

Yeah, I miss the sounds of graphite shaving down onto notebook paper. I miss the pressure control I had, to shade from dark to light. Something just say well with me to see it.

I remember just from staring at blank pages that I wanted to divert my energy into imagery. Not writing notes of something that I picked up in one sitting.

Everyday the question comes back.
“[i What’s wrong with me?]”
There must be something, if I want to only doodle when I should focus at the task at hand, but unable to be artistic when I set the time aside to be.

The waves of want and need sway through my fingers. I need to draw, but I don’t want to. I want to see how they’re doing, but I don’t need to. Everything’s in waves.

Never the same, it’s similar, but never the same water that touches your skin. Never the same storm that’s brought in. Just another. Only alike. The breeze that caresses my cheeks, friends I’ve loved and lost along the way. Feels like the laughter I share with my person. The heartbreak knowing I was never enough for my family, not the same as—only similar to—the emptiness I felt being in a loveless relationship. Waves. We strive or stray. No matter how heavy the air weighs.

We all live in such similar salty lakes.

They slip through my fingers: my wishes and regrets. It bakes into my skin.

I never can catch up to my soul’s wavelength.
  ᶜʰᵃʳˡᵉˢ / Indefinite / 33d 12h 11m 9s

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