[i [center Star born child, you were meant to write and so you shall.
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Could really use this faith...
Doing this alone is too hard.
We can run straight into your arms unafraid
'Cause every time we need you we’re met by love
And we can lift our hands to heaven full of faith
'Cause every time we worship we see your face
I am utterly sick of bearing this alone.
Sick of seeing an ungrateful brat pampered to and not caring about it. What I'd give for just one person to give a shit. I'm three hours away from everyone I know. More from the people I care about.
On top of this, I have my duties to fulfill, exercises and a battle block coming up soon for explosives training.
I have to be a good soldier, a good cadet, a good student, a good daughter, a good sister, a good woman.
Fuck being the ideal being in human existence when I've no one to support me let alone my family.
I truly want to kick your ass. You're a fucking idiot. You can't read a map, you can't follow direction and apparently you think you're above the rest of us too.
And you. You're a cold bitch. You don't give a fuck about anyone but yourself. You mightn't say it but you say fuck all. Your actions speak louder than words.
It was far easier for my coping mechanism to just deal with you rejecting me completely. Like I was garbage or whatever yet again, not to trust, but what is the worst is when your present and you just are there. It'd be like my going to my usual day-to-day lectures and jobs for you to be just following and watching me quietly.
You clearly don't give a shit.
I don't care if this is your way of caring, its fucked.
You can keep your kittens and friends whom you know at face value. They're sycophants and brown nosers, putrid slime and disgusting behaviour.
Go for it.
Because it's my real friends, the women and the men that I study with, fight with and one day serve with that keeps me going. Stops me from bursting into tears.
I'm not sure what I expected when you finally said hello again. This calmness is nice though, this still quiet. Just sitting and listening to you occasionally. You don't say much but it's enough.
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