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[google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Nothing You Could Do:400,700] [div [#1100db [i REPLACEABLE REPLACEABLE REPLACEABLE REPLACEABLE REPLACEABLE REPLACEABLE REPLACEABLE REPLACEABLE REPLACEABLE REPLACEABLE
[#61b0ff [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Walter Turncoat:400,700] [div let me just slip into something a little more comfortable, like a coma :)
jk, kinda, trying hardest but passing out im so sick and anxious and dont feel very helpful right now anyways
why am i hitting this bump in my life and slowly losing my grasps-- why..
... i know why
[#61b0ff [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Walter Turncoat:400,700] [div why cant i be useful why cant i be useful why cant i be useful why must i be so useless so very utterly useless and powerless and shaking and ridden with axeinty and worry and concern and i just want them not to hurt i suck and friendships and relationships and everything
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njJ7NZMH70M]]
[center [pic https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/32/8c/88/328c881f1929b778adcc7d9c1c75adcd.gif]]
[size9 every bond I have I base off fixing people...
Maybe it's because I'm so broken inside I don't want anyone to feel like me..
But you know what sucks
Constantly being in fear "what happens when they are fixed? They can function without you? What happens when they decide that you're not worthy? Replaceable replacable replaceable... I'm so replaceable. Why do I feel like this.
Why do I feel like it's so easy to leave me...
Do I really just give my all to the wrong friends?
Do I destroy myself trying to fix everyone around me
Why am I like this
Why do I purposely hurt myself for others sake
Why is this me
Why can no matter how hard I try to hate I in the end I just want to forgive and love and keep fixing. ... is it because my own emotions I cannot understand or process.. but I can understand everyone's emotion around me
What is this way of living
Is this autism?
Am I becoming more aware?
Am I not capable of protecting myself because we can't understand when not to put our all in for one person's happiness
Why does making people happy make me so happy
And why does letting them go when they don't need me so hurtful
Why can't I do whatever it is my brain won't process
I don't want to hurt anymore
This life is always a constant battle but I don't want to die
Why aren't more people aware of how hard this actually is
We destroy ourselves
We can't stop hurting
I don't know how to human properly
And I'm so scared
Overstimulated into panick so easily
[b [center [youtube https://youtu.be/jhC1pI76Rqo]]]
God I'm going to cry
I need so much attention I feel pathetic and horrible
I just want to be hugged and cuddled and loved on and called princess and nerd out about anime and videogames..
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP077RitNAc]]
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