☾✩ Foxtrot ☾✩

/ By TwoSidedFox [+Watch]

Replies: 56 / 3 years 347 days 9 hours 43 minutes 54 seconds

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[+pink I am so excited, there only few more hours and then I will get to be by his side... I do hope the weather stays nice. I heard it is suppose to snow. It should snow much but it still makes me a little bit nervous. Since I have to drive quite a few miles to work tomorrow... Hopefully the weather will okay... I don't want to lose the chance to stay with him... But sadly I can't be calling in to work... It is work first and fun later right?
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 245d 9h 40m 27s
[+pink I am so excited, tomorrow is coming up fast. Two weeks with my darling Austin. I just hope he can stand me. I will do the best I can to make him feel loved. I will clean and try to have dinner in the fridge. Even if it is just a sandwich it the though that counts right? I hope he doesn't mind but i probably going to surprise him with clean bedding Wednesday. Oh and a vacuum bedroom. If I can borrow the vacuum that is....I will try leave him a sticky note. Even if it is just a heart the is good enough right? I just hope I can come through with all this... I will try really hard...V_V'

I'm sure I am going to realize how much having this other job sucks.... Then again I don't want to lose mom... Ugh... Why life have to be so complicated sometimes! Hopefully her wish will come true I will be out of there in January. She can have all the space she needs.... No coming in late no leaving at 12:30am. No to watch her little dog. I mean she told me herself that Step dad don't like people staying who don't live there. I mean working two jobs there is no way I can take care of the dog with out having to stay there. So no more dog sitting for me! Right?

Yesterday before I got frustrated I was positively glowing. He even said I was glowing ^/////^ I was just so excited! He made me a key. Asked me to stay.... I just hope he doesn't regret it....
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 246d 10h 30m 55s
I've come in here to throw a fit! I really should but I am going to. I am kind of pissed. I should ben't be because this isn't my house. It my moms and step-dads... I just find it frustrating, learning that I shouldn't have anyone stay over. Well luckily I didn't. Austin went home... I guess I didn't know it bother anyone having him stay with me. We normally stay in my room and we are quiet. Sorry that he used our shower few time but that was way back in July you guys weren't even home. I know you are all ready for me to get out... I must really be annoying. Since you want me out by January... Well lucky for you I'm getting the hell out of here... I hope me and mom stay close but you know I work to job so I doubt we will see each other much. Sorry I have over stayed my welcome here... I didn't know I was that much of a problem....

I just feel... I don't know how I feel but nice and friendly surely not the way to put it. Bitchy sounds about right...
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 247d 10h 30m 4s
Oh I have good new! Austin made me a key! I’m going to be staying with him for two weeks! I mean if goes well could be permanent!
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 247d 17h 6m 16s
I feel a little bit better. Sleeping really helped clear my mind. Talking to you and him help a lot too. I will get to see him Sunday. I honestly can't wait. I just want to be in his arms to make all these pains and doubts go away.

I might tell him I have been feeling down... but I don't want to be a burden. Just talking to him seem to cheer me up. He still know how to make my little heart flutter. I wish I hadn't fall a sleep when he texted me. I really wanted to talk to him more.

I hope this bump or bit... claw mark? will be gone by the time I go and see him. Also I really want my fingers to stop cracking! I used a lot of lotion last night but they are still very dry and tender...

Thank you again for listening to me Envy! I wish I was a bit more positive but I do have to say not being at job number one helped. Yesterday sucked, so did the days before that.... -_-'
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 248d 18h 28m 49s
Thank you Envy. What you are saying is helping. It would be very reassuring to hear it from him. I know I did, I know he said sorry. I know he felt bad for making me cry. He did say something sweet though. He told me he didn't want me work to job because he would like to see me more. He doesn't want me to worry about making more money. He said if we live together he would get the rent I would pay for the other things like the water, or internet. So he really did comfort me.

Since I am down all I can do is think of the things that hurt me... Even though he already reassured me that he loved me. I just be greedy wanting to see him when he said for me to have good days off I just made me sad because he didn't ask if I come and see him. I just felt like he didn't want to see me...

But then again I wouldn't blame him... I am a PMSing monster right now... Then again I have always been a monster... just a nicer when I am around him...

I do have to say I feel a little better after sleeping more. It seemed to help. Talking to you helps a lot. I am sorry if I am so whiny.... depressing...
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 249d 5h 4m 47s
I wish I could tell you things have gotten better. I am still down.... all my thoughts coming to eat at me...

I think I just feel very distance from him because... because I really want to see him... I don't know when I will get too. I should be grateful that I got to see him last week. I spend four days with him that should be enough to tide me over right?

I just want to be in his arms right now... part falling apart... just because I have been down and so stressed out... maybe I deserve to be alone... When all I can think about is the bad things that has happen... All the time I have messed up.
You are right I am scared to live with him... that why we are going to practice... Part of me was excited.... This week just been filled with dread...So many thoughts running through my mind... it is just over whelming.... I think I am just hurt he didn't ask me to come over tonight... It doesn't matter I will see him next week right? Maybe he was right what the point.....
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 249d 9h 13m 59s
I don't really have time to say much right now. Thank you Envy.

I love him so much I'd want to see him again in the next life. I would hope I see you too of course!

I'll write more later try to explain.

He was reason I cry what he said hurt... I can't remember it word for word...
He felt bad and said I could blow my nose on him... He even wipe my tears away, the pain in my chest even disappear too after that... well he might said something sweet. I don't remember it all...
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 249d 17h 14m 51s
I was really hoping that today was going to be better than yesterday... Sadly they started out the same...work is rather frustrating it was being me down.... I am better now... Part of me still rather down... I just want to see him... maybe that would make things better.... or maybe it's best to stay away?

I just don't feel right with out him. It's rather lonesome...
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 250d 17h 42m 14s
Last week was so nice. I got to spend a lot of time with him. It was just great. His doctor appointment went well. I'm really happy about that.

We talked more about living together. Some of it was good. Some of it not... It's hard to explain. All I know it I cry on him for the first time...

We talk about practicing living together I can't wait... I just hope it turn out well... I really want to live with... I just hope we can stand each other...

I'm just in a little bit down today... This seem to bring me peace at mind.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlmswo0S0e0]
  ラブレス / TwoSidedFox / 251d 17h 43m 43s
So I thought I was going to be on vacation next week. I was really looking forward to it... but sadly I only have a flex day. Which I mean it's three days off which is great but... I still have to work at the other job....

The reason it's bothering me... was because Austin want me to stay the whole week with him. I was really excited... we could practice living together...

In my boss defense I did say Vacation or Flex days... I normally go on vacation this time of year... but they must really need me there right?
  ラブレス / TwoSidedFox / 262d 18h 33m 16s
I wish... I could of explained to you what was wrong. I suddenly got depress. I felt like I could just cry. Maybe because it was because I hadn't heard from you but you text me now I feel a little better part of my still hurts. It's not because of you... I think it just my depression eating at me...

Telling me bad things... things that my mind will not let go of....

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdQWia3fwMU ]
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 263d 10h 47m 5s
I wish I could say what was bothering...maybe just the unwelcome and wary feeling I had gotten from my mother... She only has to wait three more months....Her and husband can have the house to themselves. I won't be there any longer to burden them...

Maybe I am over reacting but something just felt off...

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZHXSN6lEEw]
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 268d 10h 48m 42s
Sigh. I really need to be sleeping. It's hard to sleep when my emotions are flared up. At the same time part of me in a loving mood.

-_-' Damn...
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 272d 10h 55m 55s
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWzTgxCAYVU ]

I have been listen to this song a lot lately. I don't really know why. It a good song tho.
  Fox / TwoSidedFox / 272d 11h 10m 18s
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