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Ah, the order didn't process the way it should've. Guess I spent too much?
Well.. at least it wouldn't have placed a burden on her to own it.
Something as heavy as that.. it shouldn't be coming from me.
It was supposed to be an upgrade, but.. now that's not happening..
Though it was really pretty.]]
[center [pic https://78.media.tumblr.com/ffefc5c0f4a3a7d4f3698bbdba061b2e/tumblr_ozrvlt0ufP1wizbteo1_540.jpg]]
I'm not going to display anymore feelings of pain here.
I have a million things to say but I'm going to leave them unspoken because it should only be kept to myself at this point. I don't want to bombard this special person with pain that she should be moving away from.
I just want to highlight the post below.
Below shows the biggest love of my life, how great it was.
It means someone once saw the good in me and loved me to their fullest.
It shows at one point I made somebody happy, even if only for a short while.
Lastly, it reminds [i you] how capable you are of loving someone to your fullest and how wonderful a lover you are.
Never let someone like me take that away from you.]
[size8 Much love,
[center [pic https://78.media.tumblr.com/f141e7b1ee90fe95c202e2fe55948bb9/tumblr_oxp8s339kt1s3vhwko1_400.png]]
[size12 [font "times new roman" I've done this before and like those many times before, I'm here to declare my undying love to you. However, this time will be a little bit different? this time.. well.. first let me start off with this..
[center [size25 [font "mistral" Thank you.]
[size12 For [i everything] you've done for me. Last night was only a small example but it was more than anyone could've done. Last night wasn't pleasant, I couldn't sleep because I was having panic attacks on and off-- but it could've been far worse. I had you there and that made the experience far better. I was able to stay at ease and eventually, fall asleep. You talked and talked.. you just..-- [i you really do love me.] It's such a beautiful thought, such a thing.. I have to pinch myself about it. You were so cute.. you were able to make me smile and even laugh in such a bad situation but like I said.. it wasn't all that bad in the end thanks to you.
I love you but.. those three words still aren't enough..
Thank you for loving me [i honestly] and with your all.
I didn't think it was possible, for someone like you to even exist.
I mean... to be this patient with me, this understanding, to fight through everything with me. You put my love on top and not everyone gets this, what I have, what we have. It's so rare and such a blessing.
I love the way you stare at me, the way you always want to touch my face, the way you plant kisses on my face, the way you kiss my tears away, the way you take my hand and kiss it, the way you touch me, the way you make love to me, the way you speak to me, even the way you smirk at me, the way you [i everything].
I am never alone because of you. When I need you, everything stops for you. I am absolutely, truly, in love with you. [i You are my everything, I would die for you. I would do anything for you.]
I just.. It's frustrating because I could sit here all night and just type about all my feelings but I just wanted to remind you that.. you have all of me. I appreciate you, I appreciate your love.. you are number one in my world. I'm truly happy and I'm even more so knowing that all these feelings are mutual... It's true, opposites attract. Not only do opposites attract but they can even fit perfectly together like a puzzle. I don't know what life is anymore without you. I just know.. we were meant for each other because nothing else can explain why we work so well.
I thought I had a type until I met you.. then I realized how wrong I was. You just pulled me in somehow.. and since then-- since then we've been like this, madly in love. We're a couple that respects each other and we've been supportive of each other in all aspects as well.. but in my eyes.. you've done much more. To me.. it all feels god sent.. it feels like a blessing. I thank god everyday for you. I hope someday.. I'm able to do a better job at this.
I hope this reminds you of those times we used to write love letters to each other, love letters made at late hours, like now when the other is asleep and then the next morning, we'd wake up to something lovely. Not because we asked to do it, our feelings and actions have always been from the heart.
I'm sorry this entry has to come to an end but it's late, I have an exam tomorrow and instead of studying this last hour, I got sucked in by my feelings and decided to do this because it meant more to me.. wish me luck, okay? I know you always believe in me so I'll believe in myself.
I love you, Julie..
[right [size10 - Cindy.]]
[center [size15 One day I won't hate myself. And I hope you won't anymore either.]]
I want us more than anything.
I keep seeing a future with you, past the rough times we're having.
I keep seeing us laughing, laying in bed together, cuddling and sleeping and waking up together.
Away from everyone else who gets in the way.
They say 'in a perfect world' ...
But being with you feels so right.
I know I can't live without you.. loving you.
But right now I hate myself a lot.. who I've become.
It's getting in between us, hurting you.. hurting me
But I know this is me.. figuring out what I believe in at the same time.
Yet it's so painful..
I want to one day, given if I get another day..
be able to love you right again.
[center [pic https://68.media.tumblr.com/8c7aef05e9b1e65a004847674c566500/tumblr_or84334Ocz1rkbqymo2_r1_1280.gif]
You make me grow as a better person than I was a day before.
You encourage me to do what I feel is right, to not be afraid.
You accept me for all that I am and love what I represent.
I can't wait for you to come and see me.
I can't say it enough - how much you mean to me.
But I've said this again and again,
You're my home.]]
[center [pic http://i67.tinypic.com/zoi2op.jpg]
When you love someone, you love them with all of your heart.
I'm just the lucky person that you chose to give it to.
I'm so happy with you.
I love you.]]
[center [pic https://68.media.tumblr.com/549db6bd7fe4c55e66fc056cdc62c51d/tumblr_ona5mbudbb1v5sogro3_r1_540.gif]]
[center [size29 [i I love you..]]]
[center [pic http://i63.tinypic.com/2evrz1z.jpg]
You are the most precious thing I have ever been able to call mine..
Tonight you touched me, fighting so hard to stay awake and tell me everything you've thought of me, trying to assure how much you love me.
You and your slurred speech, with the sleepy voice I adore so much.
You've mistaken my crying as sadness, when really I was crying from how happy you make me, how lucky I felt to have someone who loves me this much.
Then you began crying and apologizing and that brief moment made me feel pain hearing you, wanting to hold you and tell you that these were tears of happiness.
That was when I remembered how these insecurities are always in my head and it's more about my dislike for myself, because I have someone who loves me to no end.
I'm sorry I made you feel not enough for a moment.
I still think I'm not as deserving to be with someone as precious as you,
but I want to always show you how much you mean to me.
We've settled down, we've professed our feelings another time.
Now, I'll join you in bed.
Unconditionally, I will love you always.]]
[center [pic https://68.media.tumblr.com/d7d1c4d521335cbf23bc897316100f6b/tumblr_olcrhjfYBP1v6aj9do1_540.gif]
I really want to travel.
I know it's a lot of people's dream.
And it is a luxury.
But I think that's what would make me happy.
First stop is to go see my love.
And maybe.. in the future I'll take her with me to go see the world together.]]
[center [size10 You're the sweetest thing in your sleep.
Needy for my affection so you can sleep peacefully.
And then you wake up and you're a little shit.
But I guess you're still cute.]]
I don't have to say it on here for her to know.
But she means the world to me, and I can't imagine life without being with her for a moment.
Sometimes I feel undeserving, but yet she still loves me.
And I'm always grateful for that, I always feel lucky.
There are many reasons why she could leave me, but she chooses to love me still.
I love her so much, with all my being.
No one makes me happier, no one can compare.
That's why I wish to be with her always.]]
[center [size10 About last night though.
I love her.]]
[center [pic https://68.media.tumblr.com/4565b68a3e0252ccbb938deaf23b741e/tumblr_oi8ambBmIQ1tw2hyao1_500.gif]]
[center [size11 Reminder that I love you and you are my world..]][center [size29 ❤]]
[right [size10 - Luna aka Horchata]]
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