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Think I'm going to have a panic attack, I don't know how to hold this crap in anymore. My phobia is going haywire. I'm loosing control over this crap, I keep doing dumb crap I don't mean just because I'm all messed up. I need t get away from certain people right now
When you low key have dance music ready to be posted
Ew ppl being in love, gross. I'll never understand it. I hate v-day, doesn't matter if I'm with someone or not. It's the worse day for my phobia.
Best day for my sweet tooth thooo
Maybe I am a little crazy too. All of my symptoms of my phobia make me question if it's more then just that. The ablitity to shut off my emotions and not care at any point, cut people who are close to me off, not being able to understand other people's emotions, not really feeling anything more then anger, being selfish, I don't know..and I'm totes inconsiderate and forgetful about things that matter to ppl.i forgot my moms own birthday. But then again I feel bad about that sort of, she is one of the few ppl that can bring empathy out of me. Or other emotions. She's like this insane force in my life when otherwise I'm emotionless and don't care about anything. No one has been really able to make me feel so many emotions like her. And she's definitely nuts. I don't know, I don't want to struggle like this. I just want to be healed.
When snakes come crawling out from their holes in the ground to wrap themselves around anything that's nieve enough to believe them. I still hate your guts
The reason I could do it so easily was because you're basically like anyone, as I did it to anyone. I didn't care if it was done to you.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arq59eGIUw0 My Bambi]
I don't care if you don't say it any more. That simple thing. I'm just going to keep focusing on what I'm doing. I don't need you to really say anything to me again. And it wouldn't matter
Why should I take you back. What have you done for me. Other then promise me that you'll fix me and then give up on me like the rest. I'm so, tired of this, and over this. And maybe starting over is a nice theory. But deep down you're still the same psycho. God I just want a girlfriend. A girlfriend that gives a crap. Who's going to support me and be there for me and pick up my broken peices. And I'll protect them and fight whoever I have to. And yeah I'll probably be a jerk a lot because I'm So damn protective over my heart but they wouldn't fight me, they'd heal me and make me feel like I don't have to do that to protect myself. I want to feel love for the first time. Not some manufactured "feelings" I lied about having to explain crap I didn't understand. But real raw emotions and feelings. I want them to show me how. I want them to show me how to care, and not be a selfish idiot and stomp their feet every time they didn't get their way. I want someone who doesn't give up on me, one freaking person, that just doesn't give up on me. And I want to spoil them crazily. And I want them to know their mine and never question it, and I want to know I'm theirs and never question it.
Dammit I'm asking for too much
I'm disappointed in myself
I'm worth more then this
[U New profile info:]
Thought of the day:
Asuna (chan)/ female/ broken/ kitten/ Brat
It's not like I care..or anything
Asuna (kun)/ Master/ Broken/ Prince/ Emotionless
Shut up and let me protect you
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq3BCAxlfn0 All that's left]
But tomorrow you're just not going to care again, let someone else be selfish with me for once.
It's honestly just the sneaking. I told you I didn't care, and then your the one who just vanishes from their lives. In fact I told you so many times to go out and get some people to hang out with. Mend ties. All of it. So it doesn't makes sense that you hand to do it all underhanded like that. I have my own conclusion as to why you were sneaky about it, and it has nothing to do with friends since that was never anything that I minded. I'm not going to keep you some place you don't want to be. And if you had to go that far, that tells me enough. I'm not good at love. I never was. I can't even feel it. I don't think anyone can pick up my broken prices and make me feel that. I, too damage. And I sure as heck ain't going to force you to, dummy. Go enjoy life and do what you want to do. I don't want me being broken to hold idiots back anymore.
Just going to close the door right. I feel like such a jerk. It's the least I could do
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