My Journal

/ By pinkra01 [+Watch]

Replies: 1093 / 1 years 56 days 20 hours 34 minutes 36 seconds

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Roleplay Responses


God I haven't felt so free and good in forever
  Kitten / pinkra01 / 38d 13h 23m 32s
Good. Freaking. Good. I gave you that lash push. I didn't care what I had to say.

I am finally free
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 38d 13h 44m 43s
I'm done with me and everyone around me being abused. Done. You don't treat your friends like that you trash, and you don't treat the only person that put up with your sorry self like that either. I don't blame those who continue to talk to you. But I've just been minpulated and treated like so much crap that I can let you around me or in any of the places that these ppl are trying to exsisted peacefully. I won't let you hurt them, not in front of my face.
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 38d 14h 27m 19s
I get that feeling too. But people's interests in certain actors even fade. No matter how much you strive to be a constant in somes life, you fade away to someone eventually.
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 38d 21h 18m 26s
I used to get o made about how that idiot, threatened to kill himself everytime I didn't listen. But here we're go again

I think I'm ready to just poof
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 39d 4h 2m 7s
What the heck actually. I don't even know what's going on anymore. I need to just be isolated from this crap
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 39d 19h 13m 35s
Freaking overwhelming with dat nervousness...gahhhh
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 39d 21h 3m 25s
I waaaant to watch Dr. Who tonight. It's happening. Even if I have to pin you down and make it happen >>

Nah tho I really want to watch eeet
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 39d 21h 52m 32s

[ Also]
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 39d 22h 23m 59s
Headaches too real right now.

But it's official, I bought my plane ticket to Japan.
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 40d 3h 45m 26s
Errr, it was probably for the best that you passed out. I think you knew what was coming next. Tonight meant so incredibly much to me. You were honest, fully and truly honest. I haven't had so much respect for you in such a long time, and that's why it sucks to be doing this. The thing is, yes, I do know you. But I think I might be a little insane, and it gives me a very rich and deep understanding of people, and their actions long, before the do it. I can make spesfic spot on predictions because Of this. It's really incredible. But also unfortunate. I was right about you meeting someone in the hospital, I was right about you liking them, I was right about you staying for them. I was right about all of it, based on no information other then knowing some small facts about you and situational possibilities. I could determine everything that happen with knowing little to nothing. I understand people. I hate them. But I understand them. You gave her your number, and left on the same day as her. The only reason why you're not talking is Bc she didn't text you first. But if she does tomorrow, in all likeliness you will respond. And I hope she does text you. Because you deserve whatever happiness you found with her. Not some emotionless monster like me.

Fuvk..I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you so much that got put in there, and that I pushed you to someone else. Because I'm a jerk, to broken to function properly and to give you what you needed earlier. And here I am again, emotionless once more. Uncaring of anyone or anything. Because caring is...truest stupid and pointless. It's much easier for me to do this now. Whipped of any feelings Even the ones I started to have tiny bit of a months ago. And I need you to not hurt yourself. I need you Push forward, man up, and text her first. You were never meant to go to Japan with me. Or show me how to love. Two broken people just can't ever work. To me the future is very obvious with us. One text from her and that's the end. And I'm glad I didn't invest anything in this time around. But you're fooling yourself being with me. You had a connection with someone and that's what you need to follow. If you loved me, probably you wouldn't have gotten involved with her in the first place. And I really am not trying to hurt you. I'm sorry if it is. But I can't trap you. And stringing me along until she shows up again, just isn't going to be good for anyone.

Trust me, okay baby? Do you trust me? Trust that I know. I always know. And I know what's going to happen. And I don't have any heart left. I can't put in effort like that when the future seems To be so obviously being pointless. And you know it's not right to get me to give a tiny crap about you just for you to do it again. I have someone very special that loves me a lot. And I'm tired of pushing them away when they deserve a chance. They deserve it baby. And I deserve a shot at happiness. And you deserve to be with someone you'll never, ever, want to leave. Someone you'll keep close to you always. You just don't mesh up well with someone with my kind of phobia. And I hope that chick mans up and gives you what you need baby. All of it. I hope she can give you what I couldn't.

I need you to try okay? Not kill yourself or harm yourself or do anything stupid. People are open to seeing the new adorable bouncy you and I think they'll like you a lot kitten. Maybe you won't call yourself that. But whatever you call yourself, they're going to like. Have some damn confidence. You were able to do it in the hospital so try again. Get out their and be yourself. People will support you. And low key, I'll make sure they are. I'll protect you, even if you don't know it's happening. I will hunt down any idiot moron that made you cry or doesn't want to give you a chance and I'll swear up and down that they should. That the real you is something worth knowing. But I can't be around. And you know that I can't. I need to detach myself and move on. Start fresh. It's not good for someone with my phobia to be around that kind of thing. Because you know, I can never, ever, trust you again.

Don't hurt yourself. Please, baby. Just try and keep doing the right thing for once and understand where I'm coming from. Understand that in all likeliness I'm right about what would happen to us if she texted. And I don't care currently so it's much easier for me to say, go to her. Figure that out. Do you. Life will go on with out me and you will find happiness in other places. You did baby. You found happiness in that hospital without me. And that's enough proof for me to know that you can do it. So don't hurt yourself, keep pushing, and open up to the people here for you. Tally is here for you and don't act like she's not, even for a second. And I don't think I'd have to do much bugging her to check up on you. Stay close to her. And together you all will move forward.

Don't worry about me. I'm used to this. Im numb to it now. People tell me they love me all the time...and it never turns out to be true, or they show that it's not true in some way. It doesn't hurt me, I never care enough to let it, in the end it doesn't mean anything I just pull further away from people. But I don't think that other person is going to let me pull far. This is the right thing baby. This was always the right thing. I told you, you dummy. It was pointless to try. I'm too much to handle. I and...I proved to be. That doesn't mean you didn't impact me though. I'm going to try as heck to be more considerate of their emotions. I keep learning from each of these idiots how to be a better bf. And I think I'm getting a little better each time.

Listen okay baby. I need you try to breathe and understand where I'm coming from. I feel so bad for hurting you. I don't want to hurt you anymore. And I know someone out there will be good to you. You'll find Prince Charming someday, and not prince jerk. And they protect you and love you all the ways you need. I'm going to try and protect you for the last time, by freeing you. For you to just go after what you really want and no one to stand in your way. I know it hurts, but I promise, it's better this way. Just trust me..

[center [ Goodbye Baby]]
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 40d 1h 49m 29s
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 40d 13h 8m 40s
When Bambi hanging out with the hunting trap Bc he think it's shiny and cool
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 42d 1h 11m 23s
Dammit. You don't understand how easily this side can get addicted. And you're the last person I want to be addicted to
  ~Prince~ / pinkra01 / 42d 4h 6m 31s
I went character hunting last night for this side of me, trying to find the right fit is such a pain. [ But this is a start]

Bleh, haven't been able to talk to anyone much except for the idiot, since v-day. I think I'm starting to freak out Bc I'm not good at handling 'care' towards me. And theses Bakas have been showing it more and more towards me. Normal people would be happy, but I..can't be. Some of the worst hurt that I've felt was caused by "friends". My phobia is making me detach, because I don't want to get left behind again..I don't want idiots saying they are my "friends" and care about me and want to be there for me and then disappear. I'd rather go first, I'd rather not be close to people at all. And just I pull away.
  Asuna-chan / pinkra01 / 42d 16h 16m 35s

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