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Not wasting my time on anyone that doesn't give a crap. If you care you'll try, if you don't just get out of my face. I've dealt enough with idiots saying crap they don't mean. And trying aint just one or two words one time. You don't freaking stop. That's care.
In the end, no one understands me. They make assumptions and in the end they're just idiots. I CAN'T LOVE. I can't even LIKE. I have something called Philophobia. It's not a joke its a real freaking thing. The second, the VERY second I even suspect that I might care about someone, even as a "friend" I PUSH THEM AWAY. Why...why is it so hard for people to understand. In fact, if I AM talking to you that means I DON'T care about you it means I took whatever thoughts or feelings I had or was suspecting I might have, whether they were merely friendly or more, and I burned them...threw them in the trash and grew numb to them. I made myself stop caring before I could even start. And I don't care. I feel nothing. I stopped myself before I could. That's all I want to feel. I don't want anyone close to me and my phobia will stop at nothing to keep people at a distance. No one is important to me. I can't let them be.
I cannot tell who is my friend
I need distance between me and them
Gonna have to teach me how to love you again
God knows I'm trying
God knows I'm trying for you
God knows I'm trying
God knows it
Your mind impure, soul I possess, he knows it
Anointed and protected, I was chosen
[i My heart is way too frozen to get broken]
I seen man turn fool for the money
One too many times
I seen some girls turn they back
On they best friend from time
I heard you say things that you can't take back, girl, no time
I need you to go easy now and fix up one time
People change, I'm not surprised
Devil's working overtime
Voodoo spells put on my life
It won't work, they all have tried
Good freaking luck with that crap
When you wake up with the screen popping bc your cat NEEDS to get at a worm outside. This is going to be an annoying day
My urges are ready to burst. All this aggression pent up doesn't help
There's a point where the crap becomes too much. I can't handle closeness. I can't dammit.
Damn weaknesses. How the hell can I keep cool like. The self control struggle is real. What a pain
Think I'm just going to quit posting in JE. Every time I do, I get a trillion pm's and I'm not looking to be annoyed every damn time I want to get a thought out
How the hell did I not see you left es until just now. What even happened..grr dammit I need to breathe
When you know the perf medicine for you but you're to stubborn to take it
The difference between [i infatuation] vs [i love] is that infatuation is a short-lived passion for someone whereas love is a deep affection for someone that lasts the test of time. The problem is that infatuation is a powerful feeling that can make you think you are in love.
[http://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/02/30-ways-you-can-tell-the-difference-between-love-and-infatuation/ Shut up and ask yourself this crap before you start blathering dumb stuff at me]
-Love develops gradually over time. Infatuation occurs almost instantaneously.
-Love can last a long time. It becomes deeper and more powerful over time. Infatuation is powerful, but short-lived.
-Love accepts the whole person, imperfections and all. Infatuation flourishes on perfection – you have an idealized image of your partner and you only show your partner your good side.
-Love is more than physical attraction. Infatuation focuses on the physical.
-Love is energizing. Infatuation is draining.
-Love improves your overall disposition. Infatuation brings out jealousy and obsessiveness. It causes you to neglect other relationships.
-Loves survives arguments.
-Love considers the other person. Infatuation is selfish.
-Love is being in love with a person. Infatuation is being in love with love.
When you say stupid things like that it makes me want to make your life easier and just not be in it. I'm used to shutting off my emotions and not caring, it doesn't take any effort for me anymore. This is the reason I don't like getting close to anyone. No one told you you had to annoy me. No one asked you to, or even wanted you to. And when it comes down it i can show you how little it matters.
I can't control this, I don't know how to handle you near me
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