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It's been a long while but it seems like it was just recently, seems it's just trauma at this point. I still feel guilty even though I shouldn't. I still want to apologise for wanting to be better.... Fuck...
This song never leaves my mind.[YouTube https://youtu.be/xPkYYRd2sCE]
/ 3y 63d 11h 28m 1s
Keep talking with that silver tongue kid, the more you use it the better you'll become with it.
Keep that grin hidden and concealed like a gun, only draw when you have the laughs to back it up.
Keep everyone at arms length so you can cut off whenever you're about to become burned.
If you know all this now then why are you still burning as if you've been lit with gasoline soaked clothes. What good are you doing to yourself with all this torture? That..... I will never know. All this hope for things that are impossible, people coming back and leaving continuously. It's amazing to see you falling down this hole of yours, and believing that someone's going to catch you before you die hitting the bottom.
/ 3y 90d 3h 37m 32s
So I'm going to start trying to build my channel from [i just] my phone,
hopefully this little test makes a large leap in progress.[youtube https://youtu.be/AhoOKAhF21M]
/ 3y 94d 2h 27m 6s
F is failure.
One goal..... figure out how to be happy and make someone else happy....
and cuddle another human being. It seems now I've succumbed to my own mind in letting it run free during the dark hours of the day cycle.
9 hour later update:
All I want to do is sleep and puke.... nothing else because everything feels like hell.
The burns feel like shit, the headache is just getting worse, heh.... even down to eating only twice. What the hell....
/ 3y 95d 16h 37m 5s
Who was that woman? The one in the damn coffin. her chest.... that rotten smell.... all that damn blood..... wtf happened?
Fucking hell this cold or whatever isn't helping at all, what am I seriously supposed to think about this?
Everythings so messed up in this bloody brain, right now I can't even figure out what I should be doing half the time now. Sigh much less about what I should think about you, damn it. Head says to not bother trying anything while the emotions say try to move again.
Truth be told I don't want to bother giving a damn but I can't, instinct and the gut feeling always wins so I do whatever I can.
Instead of complaining to you I just and try to help.
One way or another, I'm still screwed funny enough. What a fucking drag though, when I thought I had it all perfectly ironed out I mistakenly saw your image on another person and then it slowly rose back up to the top. I began to wonder how you were doing, why they said what they said.
[size7 What they said, fuck I just wanted to talk with you that friday cause my teeth were yanked and my first thought was to make sure if anything happened while I was on that Oxy shit that you'd know. Blind trust I guess or whatever. Anyways, whatever names are names.]
At this point I don't know what I want to do or tell you; the parts that are all buttoned up or just keep pushing it back into a cage. I seriously don't know.
Fuck what a drag.
/ 3y 158d 6h 47m 19s
[i sigh] Why is it when I just start to act natural I get mistaken for other intentions.... whatever..... back to covering up again and holding back. blah..... fuck.....
/ 3y 172d 13h 28m 35s
As he made his way to the class he ended up being one of the last students to enter the room, his headphones still over his ears as music played. The sound of the people around him was drained out as he entered the class room and took the desk that was closest to the window.
[VT323 [i [center Predators constantly search for more challenging prey, the thrill of the hunt and chase. Their paws, claws, fangs and horns used to kill the scared victim, blood covering their predatory elements.
The screams filled the air, glass rattling roars followed by the squeals of what could have been animals. The horses, Italian and American moved at their limits being pushed by their riders, the Bulls were neck and neck with the horses. The Bulls and Horses were chased by the Felines and Snakes whom were being followed by a Scorpion.]]
The fog lit up as lights shined past the corner and over the canyon guard rail, the screams of flat plane V8's and V12 engines filled the air along with the smell of sweet corn. The sounds of the Italian motors was quickly mixed with the sounds of large displacement American V8 and Japanese mid displacement inline turbo engines. Pops, whistles and whining was mixed as the vehicles came around the corner, down shifting into a lower gear before the screeching of tyres as the suspension of each car was pushed to its tuned limits. ]
[list Abarth: 131
Chevrolet: Corvette Stingray 2016 C7, 1963 C2 'Mantaray', 1968 C3
Ferrari: F40, Testarossa, Enzo
Ford: Widebody Mustang S550, FoxBody Mustang , RS200 Evolution
Lamborghini: Countach LP400, Diablo, Miura Concept and 67 Miura P400
Nissan: R34, R35, [https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/22/6f/b3/226fb3412e6a6f37b210940425c0bb07.jpg94 1994 Silvia (S14) Rocket Bunny Boss]
[vt323 The S14 Silvia came across the side of the canyon, hugging the outside edge as it passed a few of the others up to get behind the Miura. The SR20 was held just under its rev limiter as it crept behind the Miura and basically rode bumper to bumper with it. As the next corner came up the S14 let out a chirp as it backed away from the bulls bumper before the rear snapped across to the other side of the road to take the outside line passing the car that was ahead. As the S chassis took the outer line it was followed by the reworked 131 and Mantaray, both breaking their rear wheels loose. The three were followed then by the F40 and S550. The five cars quickly took the lead almost in an instant, they passed Godzilla (34) and Enzo whom were battling for the lead in this canyon skirmish.
/ 3y 254d 17h 47m 44s
Next thing to happen on this quiet night was filled with a barrage of weapons fire along side some flashes of light through the thick wooded area. As each round was shot the ground was filled more and more with brass casings, this had been going on for well over a half hour. There were no faces that were lit up due too dark face paint and facial masks that were painted to blend with the surroundings. When the local time ticked from 11:59pm to 12:00 am the sounds stopped and the echos continued through out the jungle. As the last casings hit the rest that carpeted the area of the jungle floor making a gentle ring before resting there was silence, no animal stirred, there were no sounds of birds, nothing. Most of the weapon carriers looked about as to wonder what happened.
The silence was broken by the sound of tree trunks cracking, leaves rustling against one another before falling. As the first tree connected to the ground and the snap of the trunk echoed the cloud cover slowly moved passed revealing the night lights of the stars and moon. The devastation was that the light revealed was that of almost like that of a small town after gang war. Bullet holes riddled tree trunks and chopped away vegetation but there was something still standing as the rest of the trees collided with the ground. From where they stood it appeared to only be that of a shadow, as the light shined upon and over it until feathers began to fill the air from the new opening in the rooftop of the jungle.
/ 3y 358d 16h 17m 22s
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