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Daniel met him on his way back to the table, so he changed angles and started for the door instead. Keep going? He felt emotionally exhausted and he'd done enough today to sleep, but something about going back to the same hotel felt... stale. "Alright," he agreed, handing the card back over. "I'll drive." He didn't exactly trust Daniel to drive after yesterday's nonsense. Maybe he shouldn't let the man drive at all.
Cold awaited them, as ever. Bell shivered and pulled his coat tighter. Why couldn't it be summer yet? Summer was warm and bright and had long, beautiful days, not this stupid icy cold night nonsense.
He slid into the seat of his car and stretched out, looking around. Too much snow, entirely too much snow. Further south for sure.
The engine roared to life. He took off down the highway, through the city and back into the open road. On the way past their old hotel, he thought he caught a glimpse of a white van, sitting in the parking lot. Then it was gone, the old hotel behind them.
He yawned and fiddled with the radio, searching for a good station. "So you only stick around for the interesting bits," he concluded, glancing at Daniel for confirmation. "And Landon takes the boring shit." He sighed quietly. [i Be nice if I could relax during the boring bits, too,] he thought. Instead, he had to deal with Daniel's crazy other half.
"What'd you do last night? Or is it not safe to remember, or something?" He didn't know how Daniel's head worked. Could be dangerous. Could be fine. He'd rather they not freak out while he was driving, in either case.
A part of him kept an eye out for a zoo. They'd made plans, sort of. Landon had been all petulant about it, so he sure hoped Daniel considered the zoo interesting. Otherwise, he'd be babysitting Landon and no one would have a good time.
He didn't drive too far. He was tired, and the sun was setting. A few hours later, he pulled off the road at a decent-looking hotel. "What do you think? I'm exhausted, so if you want to keep driving, you're on your own," Bell declared. He wanted to sleep.
He shrugged, then glanced away. Kill or just see how they were getting on, see if it could be 'entertained' by another's existence or not and decide then.
"Can't say I'll ever understand them, Bell-boy. They're so far above us, we might as well be ants," Daniel said and finished his water. Of course there'd be bad memories. Life wasn't made up of good stuff -like this? Daniel grinned at the tail-end of that expression. Good stuff. He liked that. A lot.
Bell-boy didn't seem to realize just how bad the memories were and Daniel didn't feel like triggering the man. A hand. Words that didn't quite leave Bell's mouth. Daniel was half-way through reaching out, got distracted by the waitress, but didn't stop. Bell-boy on the other hand started and sat up straight.
"Thank you," he told the waitress, then watched docilely as Bell-boy stood and moved to the bar, hand through his hair on the way past. Daniel smiled at that, eyes closed and sighed out. Today was good. They ought to cherish moments like these more, even if Bell-boy wasn't entirely himself and neither was he. They were still together and they still had the ability to express happiness. That's all they needed, wasn't it? When everything was stripped down like this, wasn't their happiness at its purest? If Lenny couldn't appreciate that, it was his loss. Daniel lifted his arm closer and twisted his wrist. The wraps were too tight for him to really move, and it hurt when he felt the skin twist against the bandages.
Yeah, that one was going to feel fucked up for a while. Fucking Lenny. Couldn't leave the guy alone for a single second.
Daniel rose from his seat and met Bell-boy half-way. Guy was really getting used to using his card like that, huh? It'd probably been necessary, if he'd restocked their first-aid kit. That shit didn't come cheap.
"Are we going to drive tonight?" Daniel posed, leaning against the bar. He'd slept through most of the day, so it seemed practical that they'd drive now, but maybe not. Bell-boy looked a bit slumped. "We can find a nice place, just drive a couple of hours?" he tried. Not moving didn't feel good either. He didn't want to hold them back too much.
So Daniel might recognize some of them? Bell nodded, accepting this explanation. It was better than the no-ideas he'd had until now.
Bell frowned at Daniel as he started his lecture, lost, but as the man went on, his frown resolved into a nod and raised eyebrows. Oh, alright. So he wasn't the first or the only body the goat had taken.
And then he froze, mid nod. [i What does that mean? If I'm not the first, then... how long has it been here? How many bodies has it-- what am I? Should I remember all the others? But... eh? No, wait, it doesn't make sense. If I don't remember, then why does it need the other bits? Or... if I do remember, then... what kind of a person was I?] An image of a vampire flashed before his eyes, haughty and unknowable old. [i Like that?] He grimaced. That didn't seem like him at all. Or... [i Is that why they're so disappointed?]
It might not want them all back, but it would still seek them out? Bell shook his head, trying to shake the train of thought. "What, to kill or something?" he asked. That was what his goat did to other goats, right? Kill them. He wasn't really sure why, it it seemed to like doing it, and he liked doing it, so he wasn't complaining.
"Well, but it doesn't sound like I have much of a say in this," he sighed. "Besides, of course there's gonna be bad memories. Life isn't just made up of good stuff like this." He was prepared for it. Maybe he didn't remember much, but he wasn't stupid, either.
He leaned back in the booth, a bit tired. Daniel looked a lot better now. There was some color in his cheeks, and his skin didn't look quite so grey. Bell reached out on the table, putting his hand out between them. He wanted to hold Daniel's hand, feel that he was warm and healthy again. He opened his mouth.
"Check?" their waitress asked, materializing out of nowhere. Bell sat up straight, startled, and nodded, too shocked to actually manage words. She nodded back and doled out a paper receipt for them. "Take that up to the bar and they'll get things straightened out," she advised them.
"Right." He stood and moved to the bar to pay. On his way past, couldn't resist scruffing Daniel's hair. So soft.
"Agreed," Daniel offered on going back to Haven, provided they were ready for the man-slaughter. Or should he say goat-slaughter? It'd be hard on Bell-boy, facing that all. Like Bell-boy, Daniel didn't wait long before attacking the food, but did so slower. He didn't have to energy to wolf it all down, though the food was slowly but steadily vanishing from his plate. It was surprisingly good, considering the diner didn't really advertised itself to be any high-stakes restaurant.
It was honest food.
"Yeah, I guess South is the way to go," he confirmed when Bell-boy resurfaced for air. He chuckled at the man's appetite, but didn't say anything to discourage it. Wherever they were going, they'd need Bell-boy's strength.
"Sort of. I saw a few, but it was fleeting, in reflections and stuff," Daniel started and toyed with his food.
"Goats, they live a very long time. Longer than any human does, so they take on different forms to escape the attention and seek out a new host when the current one's life-span has ended. Usually," he added, nodding at Bell-boy. "You're a bit younger than your living counter-part," Daniel said with a brief smirk.
"Either way, I think they'll look like these people, all the faces the goat had at some point and I'm pretty sure it doesn't want them all back," he shrugged. It'd expressed a point at which the pruning had been a blessing, until it'd gone too far.
"It might still seek them out though," Daniel shrugged and continued eating. He wasn't too worried. Usually things had a way of solving themselves where goats were concerned. If he was meant to do something, the goat was perfectly capable of crawling out of the wood-works and tell him.
Daniel ate until his plate was clean and then sat back, savouring the glass of water. He felt much better after eating. More stable. Far more stable, actually. There was even something of a colour to his face now. He was also tired, rosy. Daniel slumped back in his seat and docilely regarded Bell-boy.
"Not all of them have good memories, you know? Getting them back might be confronting. Life out on the streets, well. It's not nice." He felt it only fair Bell-boy received the warning ahead of time, so he could make an educated choice. Of course, it'd be the goat deciding in the end, most likely.
Oh. Well. If they'd always done things that way, then it was business as usual, huh? He nodded. He still had no idea how this was going to work out, but Daniel seemed confident enough. He'd trust that someone knew what they were doing. Even if what they were doing was following him, and his gut didn't seem to be saying anything but 'feed me.'
None of the pieces were at Haven. He found himself breathing a quiet sigh of relief. "No, I don't want to go back," he said firmly. They'd already ruined any chance he might have had to be a member of the society. And he didn't... didn't like it, either. He'd escaped. He [i liked] being free, and living like this, where he could go wherever he liked and get whatever he wanted for dinner and not get hit. "No, just... I feel like we should go back and make sure it's gone for good. At some point. Not right now."
He sipped at his water, then sat back as their food was brought out to them. A nice, hearty steak for each of them, with all the fixings. Steaming hot, meat glistening from the glaze, the mashed potatoes piled high. Bell barely let it touch the table before he started in on it. It tasted pretty good for a diner steak. The sides weren't bad, either. For a tiny little diner, it wasn't half bad at all.
"So, um, we gonna keep going south for now?" Bell asked, when he paused and came up for air. He gestured vaguely with a piece of steak. "If we're following my whims, and all." It really changed nothing about what they were doing, now that he was thinking about it. They'd been following his whims, and now they still were. They just knew to keep an eye out for fragments of him... whatever that entailed.
He looked at Daniel. Actually, that brought up a good question. "Do you know what these fragments look like?" he asked. "Will they look like me, or is it just..." he gestured around the diner. "Anyone in here could be one, and I'd never know?"
There had to be some kind of hint, but what? Come to think of it, he'd wanted to go skiing. Bell frowned and rubbed his chin. Had they already screwed up and missed one? But who?
Freeze and starving endlessly was about right. Daniel didn't feel like emphasizing that that's the way Bell-boy's life had been before they'd met. At least he'd managed to coax a small smile from Bell-boy. Daniel hoisted himself up and out of the car, head a little heavy, like most of him actually. It was nice and warm inside the restaurant and soon they had a booth just to themselves.
"Steak," Daniel offered up to the older lady taking their order. "Everything on the side please, oh and some juice? Do you have juice? And some water, I'm parched," he muttered. He caught Bell-boy watching him and gave the other man a smile.
"Pretty much," Daniel admitted. "We've always done shit that way. Just followed your gut-instinct; honestly? It feels like the goats are aware of one another, but it doesn't really talk to you directly? So it just 'influences' you, from inside," he shrugged. It was the best way to describe what he felt was going on with the goats anyway.
"Haven? Honestly? I want to go back there just to get even, but we probably don't need to," Daniel explained.
He plucked at the bandages wrapped around his wrist.
"The goat showed me some of where the other pieces were, but none of them were at Haven," he sighed. Which was odd in and of itself. How had they gotten out? Maybe they'd taken on the form of animals, like the goatling, and had simply escaped. It'd be educational to have another chat with the 'god' goat at Haven, for sure, but Daniel didn't think they were ready for that confrontation.
Their drinks arrived and Daniel didn't waste one second to empty out the glass of water. He went a little slower on the juice, but not by much.
"Much better," he sighed out after the two glasses were drained. He reached out and refilled his water. "Why, do you want to go back to Haven? I don't think they'll welcome you back so nicely," Daniel mumbled. After escaping like that, leaving behind several goats to rampage, it was hard to tell how much would still be left even. There were no regrets on his side for doing things the way they'd panned out. Fucking Lilah.
He looked at Daniel. Of all people to care or not care about his self, he'd have expected the guy with two of them to care quite a bit. Bell shook his head. There were some things he'd just never understand about Daniel.
With the original. He tipped his head. What did that--? Oh. So something like this had happened before. No wonder Landon was so bothered. Weird that Daniel wasn't, though. He looked at Daniel from the corner of his eye. Would he want Daniel to choose, if he was... no, that was right. If there were two of him, he'd definitely need Daniel to just choose one of him.
"Oh, thanks," he said sarcastically. So he wouldn't die. Great. "Good to know I'll just freeze and starve endlessly instead."
He shook his head, but he had a small smile now. "Alright. Let's go eat."
There was rock music playing quietly from the ceiling. Bright lights and the dry warmth of central heating blasted him in the face. Bell blinked, adjusting to the sudden change, and wiped at his face. Phew. It was hot.
"You two take a seat now," an old lady waiter called, collecting a pair of menus from behind the bar. There was a small bar, though without alcohol, and a set of booths set against the wall. "Just the two of ya?"
Bell nodded and made his way over to a booth. The menu had both dinner and breakfast entries, as he'd hoped. He scanned over the choices, and in the end, decided on a steak, the same as Daniel. Steak and mashed potatoes, and plenty of gravy for the potatoes. The lady came back and took their orders. Bell sighed out and leaned his head on his hand. For a moment, he just watched Daniel, quietly. Was this where he wanted to be? Regardless of who or what he was, did he want to be here?
[i It's this or the icy streets,] he reminded himself, and snorted. [i Fair enough. ]
"So, you wanna just... go wherever I want to go?" Bell asked. Was that really the best plan they had? "We shouldn't be heading... like, back toward Haven or anything?" He'd been... pruned, split up, whatever, back in Haven, so it made the most sense to him to head back there. But he didn't exactly want to go there, either.
Driving. Daniel was glad Bell-boy suggested it. He gave an i imperceivable nod and followed Bell-boy towards the car instead. Sitting down was by far better than walking. Daniel rested back and sighed out.
"I'm not," Daniel said without a single second's hesitation. He didn't care about who he was. He simply was, that's all there was too it. Occasionally, he wished he was more often, but that was the gist of it. Bell-boy was mostly okay with it, though Bell-goat wasn't. Maybe that's why Bell-boy cared so much. Going against the goat's will was tricky. Lenny wasn't okay with it either. Daniel cringed and took a deep breath. Little he could do about Lenny.
"His loyalty is with the original you and it'll always be; there's something to be said for that," Daniel waved away Lenny's rigid convictions. "He was panicking. Remember the guy was scared enough to join you on this mad dash to kill goats," Daniel chuckled softly. "I thought we'd be in a better place after those months of therapy, won't lie," he sighed out.
"Well, I'd say this situation is new for us, but it's not," Daniel ventured. He looked at Bell-boy and smiled. "There was this other goat, Spot? And he'd taken on your appearance, had your memories. In every single little detail and aspect, he was the same as the original you, except for the underlying fire your goat gives you. In that regard I'd say you're more like the whole original than he was, but would you've liked it if I just went with this guy?" Daniel shrugged. "I didn't ditch that guy, but I did choose you eventually. I had to make a choice. You needed me to make a choice and I'm assuming you'd want me to make it again. Lenny has no doubts there, but I do."
His life? Daniel chuckled.
"Goat won't let you get the peace of death, unless it itself chooses to die," Daniel corrected Bell-boy. "Looks good," he sighed out and got ready to get out of the car. He was hungry and thirsty. His body was screaming to replenish what'd been lost with Lenny's stupidity. "We'll be alright, Bell-boy," Daniel said with an encouraging smile. "Let's eat."
He sighed. Nothing he could do, huh? Maybe it was too much to hope for that there'd be some easy, simple resolution. Talking was impossible, clearly.
Breakfast, or dinner? Steak wasn't a typical breakfast food. Though, then again, steak and eggs wasn't exactly unheard of. Bell shrugged to himself. He'd stop at whatever he saw first between a diner and a steakhouse. He looked back at Daniel. The man looked sad and bedraggled, like a cat left out in the rain. Bell bit his lip, then tipped his head toward the parking lot. "Get in the car, I'll drive you around," he offered. He'd feel awful forcing Daniel to follow him around like this.
"Isn't everyone worried about who they are?" Bell asked. Was Daniel really lecturing him on his sense of self? Daniel, who shared his head with Landon? He shook his head. This whole thing was ridiculous. He climbed into the car and waited for Daniel to join him before continuing. "I'm okay with it, mostly. I mean, that's why I like you, right? Because you don't hate me for not remembering things. It's watching Landon that does it. I don't know." Bell gestured vaguely.
He couldn't really explain it. He'd tried a half-dozen times, but Daniel didn't seem to ever get it. Maybe he couldn't. He shook his head again and started the car. The engine roared to life. "It's like... I want you guys to be happy, alright? I'm attracted to you. That's just... the way it is. You, it's whatever. I don't feel like anything I do makes you feel happier or sadder. Aside from the obvious stuff that'd do it for anyone. You're easy to deal with. But Landon, he just... I don't even think I'm doing anything, and he starts putting on that sad puppy-dog face. And I find out I'm maybe not... whoever, and he tries to kill himself. It's hard to say 'I'm fine the way I am' while someone's crying and cutting himself because you're not the way you were, or whatever."
"And, you know." He shrugged. "If I'm not your Bell, you'll ditch me in a heartbeat, so of course I fucking care. Tomorrow's dinner is predicated on me being the right guy. You could even say my life depends on it."
"Anyways. How's that place look?" he asked, pointing out a diner. They could get dinner or breakfast there as they fancied, whichever they felt like.
"We can do dinner if you prefer," Daniel offered at Bell-boy's hesitation. He just needed some sugar and plenty of more liquids in him to feel anywhere near to normal again. Daniel puttered around grabbing his clothes from where he'd discarded them and found it difficult getting dressed with just one arm to use. Tell him. They'd never been able to, have they? And even without memories, this Bell-boy asked the same.
Daniel paused for a second, then sat down heavily to lace up his boots.
"When I'm in that state of mind, it doesn't come up in me to talk to you," he confessed. It wasn't anything to do with Bell-boy either. His head just was in this different state of mind, where he could see anything other than the one thing.
"Maybe not local," he muttered and zipped up his coat. He was ready to go, but not exactly steady on his feet. Daniel could tell Bell-boy knew as well. Bell-boy went ahead and Daniel fell in line, numbly following the rhythm of Bell-boy's steps.
"Steak," Daniel said dreamily. A nice juicy steak to replenish what nutrients he'd lost would be nice. A big juicy slab of meat. He felt a little sick think about it, actually, as his body tried valiantly to maintain a precarious balance. Blood-loss sucked. He should've just gotten Bell-boy to fetch him something instead.
"So why're you so worried about who you are?" he pitched, trying to distract himself from how shitty he was feeling.
"First you're all hating on Lenny for not accepting you the way you are, and now you're worried you're not actually anyone. Or who you thought we told you, you might be," Daniel said, giggling at the mind-bending implications of his question.
"I wouldn't worry too much about it, Bell-boy. Consider this," he started. "Consider starting over. The memories the 'whole' had, weren't all that nice. Sure, I'll miss all those things we shared, but we can make new memories, just you and me." It wouldn't be all that nice to fill the nice clean slate with stains of Bell-boy's past. "You know enough to do what you always did, Bell-boy."
Bell looked away. Half an apology. He didn't know if it was enough, or if he had the right to demand even this much. In the end, he didn't say anything.
Down to business. That was what mattered anyways.
So it was like a tree? His brow wrinkled. His understanding of goats had started tenuous, and it was only getting worse. What did that even mean? The one he'd killed hadn't seemed particularly tree-like. Nor had the ones in Haven. Bell shrugged to himself. Whatever. He'd figure it out eventually.
"Well... that sounds easy," he said cautiously. Just follow him around? He frowned. There wasn't anywhere he wanted to go in particular. Maybe it would come to him? Maybe they had to be closer? He shrugged to himself. They'd have to figure it out.
Breakfast? Bell glanced at the window and the setting sun. "Um, sure." Breakfast for dinner. He could work it. Though he had a sneaking suspicion they'd done the same just a few days ago.
He sighed out. So this was the conclusion? He and Landon had been going nuts over nothing. Bell pushed his hair back and sighed. "Next time, tell me something before you hit the town, alright?" he asked. It'd save him the heartache and worse, the suicide attempt on Landon's part.
"Should we, uh, go somewhere local?" he suggested. Maybe not too local. He didn't want to run into anyone Daniel had beaten up last night again tonight. But not so distant that Daniel would strain himself getting there. The guy looked half dead already, just standing up.
Bell threw on his jacket. Moving at a moderate pace, he headed out the door and into the hotel. Every few steps, he checked over his shoulder that Daniel was able to keep up. Didn't want to leave him behind. The chill of the night bit deeper, what with all the sweat still slicking to his skin. He shivered. Ugh, and it felt gross on his clothes, too.
"Any kind of food you're feeling in particular?" he asked. They were in a city. There were thousands of possibilities. Anything he fancied, they could probably find with some effort.
He did what- oh. Actually, it made sense to restock the first-aid kit. Daniel looked down at his arm and the blood-stain threatening to peep through. Old blood, presumably. His reflection told him pretty much the same story. Stitches.
"Sorry," Daniel started, then cupped some more water and drank. "I just got confused," he apologized with a sigh. "I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have... Well, you see where I'm going," Daniel waved. He wasn't really into the whole regret and apology-thing like Lenny was, but he knew Bell-boy was. He sighed and glanced over at Bell-boy as the man asked questions. Daniel stood a little straighter and splashed some water on his face.
"It's..." He gave it some thought.
"The goat showed me a couple of things -your goat, I mean," Daniel amended. "It showed me a tree, all branches cut down to make it more stream-lined and then, too much, too much was cut away. It's split, in a way. What I'm guess, what I'm feeling, is that whatever Haven's God did, cut away some of the shells that the goat hung on to. And then, part of you. It showed me all the others, what they were doing and... I don't know, it's a bit hazy. There was too much," Daniel explained.
Maybe that's why he'd gotten confused. Usually Bell-goat was sparse with what he told him. It'd only once before shown him that much; all the faces and symbols. All of which had been useful. He also wondered whether the goats they were killing had actually been split off from something greater this way or existences that were allowed to exist on their own. Was this the origin of Bell-boy's existence he was watching play out again?
There'd only been a couple that'd been stronger, different, from the ones that Bell-boy and he faced at first. Sinewy-goat was a prime example of something 'closer than some', but apparently allowed a solitary existence. It sometimes 'allowed' hybrids and defect creations to persist. It allowed for him to continue existence.
It begged the question as to how many people were actually goats and how many were human. Daniel lifted his gaze to look at Bell, then sighed out.
"It told us to find some of the missing pieces," he said. "I'm pretty sure we'll just have to follow you around," Daniel gestured and chuckled, one hand still inconspicuously on the sink for balance. He felt a bit meek.
"How about breakfast first?"
After a while, Daniel evened out. Bell hovered for a while yet, then figured nothing was going to happen. Daniel would sleep until he woke, and then they'd go out and do stuff.
An hour or so in, Bell was rocking in place, fiddling with his shoelaces and utterly bored. Daniel still hadn't done anything. Just snoozed away, perfectly fine. He checked the man over one last time, then sighed and stood. Might as well make the most of this shithole of a day.
First things first. He headed out to the car and started it up, drove around until he found a pharmacy. The first aid kit was getting low, between him and the two of them. Fresh needles, sutures, bandages, antiseptic. When he was done, the kit barely shut. Sighing, he shoved it closed. The sad part was, it'd probably need a refill before long.
His stomach rumbled halfway back to the hotel. Bell hesitated, then pulled into a fast food restaurant. He'd been able to use the card like a credit card at the pharmacy... maybe the trick would work here, too?
A few minutes later, he had a sack full of hot burgers and was back on the road. This time, he headed back to the hotel. A quick check on Daniel confirmed that he hadn't moved yet, so he left again. Down to the workout room.
With a huff, he dropped the weight to the floor and wiped sweat from his brow. Damn. This shit was hard. It helped, though. As long as he was moving, working out, he didn't have to think about anything. Not Landon's suicide attempt, not who or what he was. There was just motion and the weight, the burn of his arms.
The sky had darkened while he was working out, day crawling to night. He stretched as he climbed the stairs, back up to their room. Hopefully Daniel was up by now. Otherwise... otherwise, he'd have to do something drastic.
Behind him, the door slammed shut. As if in response, Daniel groaned. Bell jogged over. "You awake?" he asked. Looked like. He hovered while Daniel slogged to his feet, watched the whole way to the bathroom. "I refilled the first aid kit while you were out."
After a pause, he followed Daniel to the bathroom. "Um, I'm the right one, right? Or like, part of it?" He was close enough. Close enough that Landon wouldn't kill himself at the sight of him. He breathed out. He had to tell Landon.
For a second everything twisted about him sickeningly, but then slowly, things settled with a bit more sharpness than they had before. Daniel let go of the towel when Bell-boy started fiddling with it and then shit went quiet. Was this how he'd die? Alone, in a hotel-room? Not even the ghost of Bell-boy there to comfort him? Shit, that was sad. He managed to crack open a bleary eye when Bell-boy returned to check his breathing. Daniel tried to make a joke, but failed. His thoughts wouldn't readily come up and he felt tired. That said, the pain bit through that quite easily. He felt the thread dip through his skin, fingers twitching each time Bell-boy pulled the thread all the way through. When Bell-boy was finally done, Daniel figured he was allowed a short nap.
Fuck them both, actually. Didn't trust him for shit's worth, did they?
Thirst woke him. Daniel groaned as he woke, but stifled the noise the second he realized he was the one making the pathetic noise. His arm felt like it was on fire, but then so was his throat. A short search taught him they were still in the stupid hotel-room. Should've moved already. He felt meek, but clear-headed. A boon. Shit, had his alarm gone off for the medication?
Daniel pushed up a little, regretted the act, but pushed through. Couldn't just stay in bed feeling pathetic for himself all day -actually... It was dark out. They'd wasted a day, just for this shitty foolishness. He wasn't steady, but it wasn't bad. Couldn't really use the cut up arm though.
"Fuck," he sighed out.
"What are we even doing?" Daniel huffed out and searched for Bell-boy. Shouldn't have checked out like that. Couldn't trust Lenny to be sane for longer than a few hours on end. He shifted and moved to the edge of the bed, waited for everything to steady out and slowly got up. Blood. It was on the floor where he'd cut himself and on the bed, where Bell-boy's needle-work had patched him back up. He'd been lucky Bell-boy hadn't gone in for the endless shower this time.
Daniel shuffled towards the bathroom and ran the tap for some water. Split. He was going to burn down Haven and everything in it. Everything, except the 'branches' that'd fallen.
Bell frowned, confused, face twitching between distress and confusion. "Bring out...?" Surely there had to be a better way to do that. They swapped all the time without grievous bodily harm. "It's not okay! Landon!"
The man faded in front of him. For a second, Bell thought he'd just watched the man die, but then he jumped back to life. Daniel. He could tell even before the man cursed out his other half. The expressions, the intensity, it was all different. That, and he helped Bell hold in his blood.
"Would that help?" he asked. If he killed himself. Should he? He'd been thinking about it earlier. He didn't want to see them in pain like this.
Not... no one? Bell stared at Daniel. What? Then, what was he? Part of a whole? Pieces? "So I'm... part of the real thing?" he said. Something released, inside of him. Some of the fear, the tension. He deflated, somehow exhausted. He was real. He was their Bell.
Daniel sagged in the chair. Bell hesitated. He picked up Daniel and carried him to the bed, laying him down like he'd asked for. He tied the towel tighter around the man's arm. Daniel looked so pale. So... gray. His breathing seemed softer than usual. Was he dying? He looked so ill. Bell glanced around. What did he do? Could he do anything?
[i Don't kill yourself.] He looked Daniel over again. Was he... dying? He'd kill himself if it meant saving Daniel. Worried, he tightened the towel again, then took a deep breath. [i First things first.] He'd save Daniel by any means, if he had to. But he'd start at what he could do, right now. One last time, he checked on Daniel. Still breathing. Okay.
Bell turned and ran. Out the hotel, out into the cold. He shivered as he fumbled the key into the keyhole. [i First aid kit, first aid...] There. Back to the hotel.
It felt like he'd been away for hours. Bell bent over Daniel and checked his breathing. Was he paler? Shit.
One thing after another. Disinfect first. Wipe the blood away. Stitch the wounds. Pack with gauze and wrap.
Bell sat back. His hands were covered in Daniel's blood. Landon's blood. He breathed out. What was this? [i Damnit.] He'd been up ten minutes, and he'd already had enough for the day. Tiredly, he wiped his forehead with the back of his wrist. Now he'd just wait and watch. If Daniel went south, he'd-- he'd kill himself. There had to be a reason Daniel had told him not to.
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