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Don't mind him and Daniel... what? Landon gave Bell a confused look until the other man used the course 'bang' and finally clued him in. His food wasn't piled on as much as Bellwether's was, but he had a decent spread, even if he said so himself. He took another drink from the orange juice to swallow away the consternation of Bellwether's forwardness and sighed out.
"In his eyes, you're already an item though, aren't you? We never broke up," Landon pointed out. And whether or not he cared? Landon looked away for a moment, focussing on the food still left on his plate. He shrugged.
"I mind," he said honestly. Bell would catch his lie anyway. "... but I won't get in your way. It's fine," Landon mumbled. At least it meant he'd see Bell on occasion, even if it was only sporadically, whenever they changed personality. If he had any control over it, Landon probably would choose not to be out until Bell remembered what they meant to each other, but he didn't.
"It's fine," he repeated, a little gentler.
Landon sighed out and exchanged the fork he'd been using to his good hand. His wrist was giving him grief still. A fresh wound then. He didn't want to over-extend anything. 'Let him'. So it'd been Daniel. Who else? It seemed Bell didn't feel comfortable with what had happened, otherwise they wouldn't even be having this conversation. Landon prodded at some of the food, but his appetite had long since fled.
He took another bite or two and nudged the plate to the centre of the table. He'd eaten enough already.
"I don't think I want to know," Landon said at long last. "What happens between you and Daniel... it's not of my business, is it?" It'd have to be weird for Bellwether to have a relationship with just one of the two of them, but he didn't seem to be getting it right. Back when they'd met, it'd taken them some time to really bond as well. Now was likely no different. Daniel though, he was a lot more forceful and understood very well that he had the good end of the deal this time. Bell had naturally taken to the accepting other, despite Daniel's obvious character flaws. Daniel was just more likeable.
Oh, he found it? "Thank goodness," Bell sighed. He didn't want to see how bad they got without the meds. It was enough effort keeping them alive and happy without them being fully nuts. He didn't want to also deal with more delusions and bad behavior.
"Breakfast!" Bell said enthusiastically. Landon had picked up his exhaustion, but he was hungry and just happy to get some kind of sustenance. He finished grabbing the last of their stuff, then opened the door for Landon and gestured for him to take the lead. Oddly, he was in a good mood today. Even Landon's outcry this morning hadn't put him off. [i Maybe I was just pent up,] he thought, yawning. He certainly felt a lot better afterwards, even with the guilt of the knowledge that he'd made a bad decision.
Bell paused. Sometimes, the extent to which he was ruled by his body was disgusting.
The hotel had a continental breakfast, with plenty of hot food available. He grabbed a plate and started getting to work loading it up, grabbing whatever came into his reach indiscriminately. He found a table and settled in, waiting until Landon joined him to dig in. About halfway through his food, he paused. "You don't mind... me and Daniel?" he asked. "I mean... I'm not trying to-- I don't think he's ready for anything serious but... you know. It was rude to let him bang me without talking to you first."
After all, it was Landon's body, too. He didn't mean to cause drama or anything. He'd just been trying it out, but somehow, he felt like Landon might be more angry if he confessed that than anything else.
They were nuts, both of them, in their own special way. He sighed. How had he even up in this situation in the first place?
[i Maybe cuz a hobo like you isn't anyone's idea of a prize, and they treat you good, for some reason,] a little voice whispered in the back of his head. But he was more than a hobo now. Wasn't he? Right?
No. Outside of Haven, he really was just a hobo. What work could he do, what job? He didn't have a house, or money. No one would want him anywhere if it wasn't for Daniel and Landon. He leaned on his hand and looked at Landon. He should really be nicer to them.
Jacket pockets? Landon dried himself half-heartedly and looked into the room. His clothes were strewn all over the floor and haphazardly draped across furniture. On the other hand, his coat was relatively nicely put across a chair. Landon languidly moved into the room and started to search through his coat. In the end, he spotted the watch on the floor next to the bedside table, where he assumed Daniel had left it the night before.
"Found it," he acknowledged Bellwether's offer of checking the car.
It hadn't chimed its alarm yet, so Landon had good hope Daniel had taken his medication. Which were likely in his coat's pockets. Trying to get a grip on what was going on was harder when they weren't following a set routine. So much harder. Landon found it was difficult coming to grips with reality, what time it was or what day even. Or even what they'd done and would be doing. Nothing was tethered.
He started to dress. The clothes were dirty and some bloodied. They hadn't washed them in a good while, he expected but honestly? Why would they even bother in their line of business? At least they had clothes to begin with.
There were more clues on what Daniel had been doing up until then. Blood on the cuffs of his sweater, bruised knuckles. Marks of where people -other people- had gripped and held him. He'd fought at some point. Landon couldn't tell whether they'd struggled against a goat or normal people. He surmised the latter.
Landon worked slow, but he finally got himself dressed and ready to go.
"So breakfast?" he pitched, eager to get something to drink that wasn't the funny-tasting water that came from the taps.
He'd cut himself. The facts didn't really land with the weight they should. Something he'd learned made him want to kill himself. Probably some of what Bell was trying to say, about how he was the original, but fragmented. Separated from his memories and other personas, the Haven-goat had left Bellwether a mere shell. A single shell.
Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. There would be fewer nightmares, because Rebecca wouldn't be there. Landon blinked. Why did that just pop into his head like that? It wasn't a memory that was his.
He gave Bell a brittle smile.
"I'm ready when you are," he tried with the same lack of energy that Bell had displayed earlier.
Bell paused. That... was actually a good point. How would he know? "I guess I just... thought I'd know automatically, or something?" He didn't have any kind of plan, if that was what Landon meant. Nor any kind of clue as to what indication the bits of him would give that he was supposed to absorb them, how he absorbed them, anything. On top of that, hadn't Daniel suggested they might need to kill some of them?
He ducked his head under the spray, overwhelmed. How was he supposed to figure this out? Why was everything so complicated?
"Oh, you do?" he asked, peering out from under the shower spray. Landon hadn't left. Somehow, he didn't mind. It felt familiar. Normal. Besides, it made it easy to keep an eye on him.
Trapped? Faces... protecting him? This wasn't all in his head too, was it? "Weird," he commented neutrally. Maybe it was, but maybe it wasn't. Goats were real, and they were freaky things. Anything was possible.
Landon started laughing suddenly. Bell peered over, but aside from the laughter, his behavior wasn't that strange. No aggression or anything. He kept washing, but kept an eye on Landon as he did.
At last, Landon stepped out. Bell hurried with his washing, quickly scrubbing his hair to get the worst of the gunk out. Had to be done before Landon left. "Uh, I don't know. Nightstand? Maybe one of the jacket pockets?" he suggested. That was where he'd put a watch, if he had one, if he took off this imaginary watch: his jacket pocket. Pockets were handy little things that most people way under-utilized, in his opinion.
He finished up and stepped out of the shower to grab a towel just as Landon vanished into the next room. Bell followed, drying as he went. He left a little wet trail on the carpet, but what did he care? It was a hotel.
A quick scan of the room didn't locate the watch. He finished drying and tossed the towel on the bed, then started to dress at last. "If it's not here, we can check the car," he offered. Daniel might not have brought it up at all.
"How will you even know then?" Landon pitched. Sure, Bell had a knack for finding goats and otherwise, but how would they be able to tell apart the subtracts from the actual goats they were meant to be killing? And then what did they have to do to them? Would Bellwether-goat have to eat them or whatever?
"No, I don't," he admitted and sighed. He had no better suggestion, other than that Daniel's was no good either.
"I-... I remember some of the faces," Landon said. It had to be something Daniel wanted him to remember, because it was a vivid memory and not one that was joined to any of the others. There was a short breath before he recalled trying to jump from a building, but other than that there was a lot of black.
"You were trapped and... there were all these faces out, I think. To protect you," Landon furrowed his brow, but thinking made his head hurt. He reached up and found some stitches. Okay, so that hadn't been a dream. He watched Bell step under the spray and made some room for the man. It was weird and at the same time comfortably familiar to share the shower with Bellwether. Landon felt he ought to leave and dry off, but a stronger part of him kept him from moving.
Landon rested against the tiled wall, dazed. He felt tired, no, drained. And thirsty. Bell hadn't healed him, but he didn't think they'd visited a doctor either. He recognized Bellwether's handiwork in the wrapping. The particular way the wraps were overlapping and tied off was typical Bellwether. His chest looked sore. It felt sore too.
He was a mess inside and out. Landon chuckled and brushed his hair back. It felt as if his mental state became reflected on his body somehow. Just a bit mashed up here and there, stitched together and held together with bandages.
It wasn't that funny. He stopped laughing.
"Did you see where Daniel left the watch?" Landon pitched. He wasn't that interested in food, though he'd kill for a nice tall glass of orange juice. Landon peeled himself away from the wall at long last and slowly stepped out of the shower before the humidity could make him light-headed.
Drying was even more awkward, because when he twisted his wrist a certain way, the cut pulled and pain shot up his hand and down to his elbow.
"You did. No, it's fine. I mean, if you want to. It'll sound the same as it usually does." Bell shrugged. It didn't really matter. If it'd appease Landon, he didn't mind. Daniel had seen the goat, though, so he should know better than anyone.
Did Landon want him to join? He wasn't even sure they were friends, didn't that seem like going a little far. Or no, friends didn't walk around each other naked in the first place. He glanced down, then sighed. In the heat of the moment, keeping Landon from running off had seemed more important than clothes. It was too late to swap now, now it would just seem weird. "You can figure it out?" he suggested, sitting back. The toilet's tank was cold. "If not, let me know, I'll come help."
He waited quietly, keeping an eye on Landon the whole time. When it became clear that the other man wasn't going to hurt himself, he started to drift off a bit. The zoo wasn't going to happen, was it? Nor was any other date. No wonder Daniel had treated dating as such a novel thing; the logistics were just impossible when he swapped madly back and forth. All he could do was accept it. He sighed out.
Landon's voice brought him back. Bell sat up and looked over. "Huh? Oh. Yeah, I don't know. Daniel thinks I'll just find them or something? But I mean, if we follow my whims, and I'm also the other bits of me, then we'll end up at the right place." He stood and climbed into the shower, nudging Landon out of the way. He looked as clean as he was going to get, so it was Bell's turn.
"Unless you have a better idea, I mean, I'm open to whatever," he said honestly. Maybe Landon knew something Daniel didn't. It seemed unlikely, but possible. He searched in the shower for the soap, then scooted under the spray. Landon had it up [i hot]. It felt nice.
"Wonder if this place has continental breakfast?" he mused idly. A hot breakfast would be nice. It [i was] out in the middle of nowhere. There was a chance, wasn't there?
He kind of wanted to ask Landon if he was ever the man's boyfriend, but Landon would just get huffy, and his mental state was precarious as it was. There'd been a whole lot of nonsense about love this whole time, but he was starting to wonder if anyone had ever loved anyone. Daniel seemed perfectly happy with a physical relationship, and Landon didn't even seem jealous about it. They were pretty nuts, so who knew? Maybe it was all in their heads, like so much else was. He shrugged to himself. He'd figure it out eventually.
The real him? Landon narrowed his eyes at Bell. "Why wouldn't you be? I listened to your heart, didn't I? Should I?" It was confusing. He'd cut himself. Tried to kill himself for some reason. Landon stared at his arm and then back at Bellwether. It didn't feel right. None of it felt right. Carved bits out of him? Landon recalled an image, an image where Bell was suspended in a vat, with all of the faces of all of the different shells looking out at them. A shiver shot down his spine.
Bell tried to put energy in what he was suggesting, but Landon didn't quite feel it. It didn't feel genuine.
"Wait, you're not joining? How am I going to...?" Landon gestured at his bum arm, the one which wrist was wrapped and the one he wasn't meant to get wet. Really? How was he going to do that? At least he was already naked. Landon let out a defeated sigh and fiddled with the shower until some water came shooting from the shower-head. It didn't take long to warm up either and Landon stepped underneath, eager to wash off the evidence of Daniel and Bell's love-making. Couldn't they have just showered the other day? He toyed with the bandages. Fresh. Or at least, only a day old? No more than that. He still felt a bit drained and thirsty, but nothing too bad. Maybe Bell caught it early.
Had he done that?
Landon didn't remember a thing.
He didn't remember why or even cutting his own wrist.
Landon sighed and left the bandages, then tried as well as he could to wash up using just the one hand, all the while keeping the other one dry. It was near enough undoable and Landon was fairly certain he'd done a sloppy job, but at least the scalding water made him feel a lot more clean. His head was still messy, thoughts and memories out of place and trying to find their place, though there was nowhere to go.
He felt lost. Where was his watch, even? He'd need it to tell when his pills were due. Daniel must've taken it off too.
"Wait, Bell? So... where are we going exactly?" he asked. How did that work? The Haven-goat or god, how had it just split Bellwether-goat up and let the subtracts go?
Okay. So he remembered some of it. "You guys... had an episode," Bell explained vaguely. "I don't know if Daniel took his meds, actually, so make sure you do." Daniel had been good about it so far, but it wasn't like Bell was watching the man's every move.
He winced when Landon quickly deduced what had happened between him and Daniel. "Ah. Yeah," he admitted. Damn, at least if it was Daniel, he wouldn't have to confirm he'd done something he regretted last night. They could've just gone on like nothing had happened. Pretend it was all a dream.
It was extra awkward to confirm it to Landon, too. Were they even friends yet? And here he was making mistakes with Landon's other half. Though, for all Daniel's going on about how they were so in love, Landon didn't really react. He'd have expected more jealousy, more awkwardness. Maybe it'd all been in Daniel's head.
Landon brought him back to the present, and the more important questions. "Yeah, you uh... don't get them wet, no." If Landon didn't remember, it was probably better not to tell him. He had no idea what might set him off. He sat down on the toilet to wait for Landon to wash up; he didn't want to let the guy out of his sight right now.
So he did remember. Bell took a deep breath. "It's me. I'm... I'm the real me. But the, uh, the Haven-goat, their god, it like... carved out bits of me? And now they're all wandering around... Anyways, I need to go find them to get my memories back. But I'm the real one. The right goat, or whatever." He shrugged casually, but his eyes followed Landon's every move. At the first sign something was going wrong, he'd jump in and keep Landon safe. Watching him bleed out once was quite enough, thank you very much.
"But yeah! So let's finish up here and hit the road!" Bell enthused, far more energetic than he felt. "Gotta go find those bits of me. Get me all fixed up for you guys." He stood, stretched, then awkwardly sat back down on the toilet. He really couldn't leave Landon alone right now. "Hey, and leave some hot water for me." Didn't want to have to take a cold shower with how icy it was out.
A hand on his, a tight grip too. Landon stared at their entwined hands for a second and then flicked his gaze back up. Bellwether? Could it really be? Bell started to lead him back towards the bed and Landon followed, surprised at the ease with which following Bell felt natural.
"Landon," he stammered, blinking rapidly at Bell. So this Bell knew about their shifting? How could he not? How long had they been together then? Their hips touched. Bare skin against bare skin. Landon looked down and then slowly climbed back up Bell's naked body to find the man's baby blue eyes. It was distracting.
He blinked fast. Where were they? A slow blink.
"A hotel? I know it's a hotel, I'm not stupid," Landon started, frustrated with his lack of memories and knowledge. Usually Daniel left him with a little something, but it seemed someone or something had really rigorously cleared everything out.
"Uhm... I remember a bar, and... these black faces," Landon started, narrowing his eyes. The latter of those two couldn't be true, so he'd had another episode then?
"Did Daniel forget the medication?" he asked slowly. So they came here last night. Landon nodded slowly. That made sense. So they were back on the road again then? Was Bell back? Landon narrowed his eyes. No. There was something off about that statement. Bell wasn't entirely back, was he? There was something wrong with him.
Just sleeping. Right.
"You two fucked. Made love," he corrected himself rapidly. It didn't seem Bell was any worse for the experience and his ass didn't feel abused, so Daniel must've taken things slowly. Slow enough. A shower. Landon nodded. That seemed reasonable. They didn't need to talk about what had and hadn't happened between Bell and Daniel. A sense of resignation came over him. So he'd given up on Bell? Given Bell up to Daniel at that?
Bell took his hand and guided them back to the shower. Landon gave Bell a look. Questions? He looked at his reflection in the mirror and gained several more questions. He was hurt.
"Should I be getting these wet?" Landon asked, motioning to the wraps around his wrist. "Did I cut myself?" It felt like a cut. "Did Daniel?" Obviously he hadn't killed himself and there were still injuries to testify to what happened, so Bellwether-goat hadn't been brought out.
"There was something wrong with you, wasn't there?" Landon pitched. "What was it? Your memories?"
His eyes darted towards the source of the noise. There! How had he not noticed? Bell walked over to Daniel and caught his hand, holding on tight. "Thank goodness," he sighed. He was sore and not in the mood for chasing them down hallways in their birthday suits.
Speaking of, they were both still naked. Bell led Daniel to the bed and had him sit. Something about the man's energy, the way he moved and breathed, suggested he might try to run. Bell didn't want that. Not one bit. "Daniel or Landon?" he asked. Landon, right? Daniel would have laughed by now. Made a joke.
He sat down beside Landon and watched his face. Their hips touched on the bed, bare skin against skin. He hoped it would keep Landon grounded, even for a moment. "Where are we?" he asked gently. "Where are you right now? What do you remember?" He stroked Landon's hair a little, trying to keep him in the here and now. Sure, he might regret last night's decisions, but it didn't mean he wanted to be abandoned, either. He had to take care of Landon first.
"We came here last night, me and Daniel. We're just resting, just sleeping." He didn't want to bring up the whole was-he-real debate unless Landon remembered it; the way the man was right now, even mentioning it might trigger a reaction. "Come on. You're dirty. We should go get a shower and clean up, okay? And then we can hit the road again. We've got somewhere to be, after all."
Which was the whole fragments mess, something else he couldn't bring up unless Landon remembered for fear of hurting more than he'd help. He took Landon's hand and guided him towards the bathroom. His eyes flicked around the room. He didn't see any razors at a glance, but he should probably keep an eye on Landon right now, just in case. Didn't want him to get any ideas. Try to bring Daniel out again. That'd been disaster enough the first time.
"Here, come on. Shower," he said. He ran the water for Landon, turned back, waited for him to step in.
"You have any questions?" he asked. Just in case.
Landon wasn't sure where he was. Bell was there, but he couldn't say whether the man was real or not. He'd dreamt of the other man so many times. He reached out, touched some of the skin. Both of them were naked. He hurt. His chest felt like it was on fire. So did his head. It felt like a bad hangover of some kind. Flashes of black faces returned to him. Landon recalled traipsing through a bar and aimlessly wandering town in search of something that couldn't ever be found. Had he found it, in the end?
Landon slowly pushed himself up to sit, then looked around for clothes. A hotel-room. Another, just another hotel-room. One of many. It was almost normal, except that it wasn't, because he'd been living in a crappy flat for the last few months and he ought to go back. Go back and take his medication, wait for Bell to recover and then get him from that white building. Except Bellwether was right there, in bed, asleep.
He hovered there, for a second. One hand was pressed against his ribs and Landon crouched down, taking a good look at Bell's face. It was the other man, every single detail was accounted for and then some. How could his hallucinations be this accurate? Maybe they weren't. Was he mingling in details with another man? Had he cheated? Had Daniel? There was no way of knowing.
Landon rose up and breathed out slowly. Shit.
What was he going to do? Wait for the other to wake up and ask? He'd seem crazy. Except that he was crazy and didn't that justify that behaviour?
He didn't want to go back to the mental hospital to be drugged up to his eyeballs and then some. Landon reached out one more time, stroked the man's hair. Fingers slipped against Bell's cheek. The other man shifted.
A walk. He'd go for a walk and then come back. Get everything right in his head somehow. Landon stepped back a little, hesitant to actually go. It didn't feel right. Nothing felt quite right. He gripped his hair, trying to sort his thoughts and paced the hotel-room. Noise brought him back. Bell.
He'd woken up.
Panic seemed to grow across the man's face as he searched the bed.
Landon licked his lips, took a breath and finally forced out a couple of words, "I didn't leave."
He slept deeply. It was easy to sleep when he was warm and spent. Bare seconds passed between when he tried to sleep and when he drifted off. Vaguely, he felt Daniel pat his hair, and then even that was gone.
Darkness awaited him. At first it was perfect, black and nothing. He didn't know how long he was floating in that darkness, years, days, but suddenly it broke open. Light spilled in. He was in the back of a car, cuddling Daniel. Driving, miles of road vanishing under his wheels.
A crack. A wet thud. A man fell to the ground, downed by a blow from his pipe. He stepped back and waited, but nothing happened. Bell stared. He'd killed someone. A real human being.
He backed away and bumped into someone. Bell swung even as he turned, caught Daniel's horrified face for a moment before the man's face became nothing but gore, his head blown open.
"No!" Bell screamed. He fell to his knees, gathered what was left of Daniel into his arms. He was still breathing. Daniel was still breathing. He could, he could save him--
Did he want to? Daniel would hate him. And his head was destroyed. If he lived, would he walk, talk, breathe on his own? Bell's grip loosened. He couldn't, he couldn't do that much. He couldn't take care of that.
A hand hooked into his shirt. Daniel grabbed tight. His breath grew from a labored gasp to a growl. "You can't leave me," he snarled.
Bell jolted awake, scrambling to a sit. Hotel room. Daniel. Naked, he was--naked? Something trickled down from inside the longer he sat up. He put a hand to his stomach, then grimaced. Oh, right. Yeah. He'd, they'd--
He shook his head at his own stupidity and waddled into the toilet, sitting rather than standing. His ass hurt, damn it. The hell was he thinking? Getting deeper involved with Daniel right now was a terrible idea. It'd only end poorly. No one was ready yet.
On the way out, he checked the barricade. It'd been wedged open--wait. Had Daniel been next to him? Bell bolted back into the room and scanned the bed, ready to run if he had to.
A shiver. A reward, a reaction. Daniel knew exactly what he was doing, even with Bell-boy trying to tell him just how good it was in that one spot. His name died on Bell-boy's breath numerous times and Daniel couldn't help but relish in the sound. Bell tightened in reply and Daniel grunted, only just hanging on. It was the pain that grounded him, the way Bell-boy grappled at his skin, leaving scratches on his back. God, he'd missed this. So much. It felt like coming home.
A gentle bite. A whispered request.
Faster, huh? Daniel grinned, a chuckle escaped his lips. Sure, he could do faster. In fact, he'd been dying for Bell-boy to ask him for it. Even so he tried to hold on, tried to keep in control. It wouldn't be fair to just let go like that. He didn't think Bell-boy would be ready for it yet. Bell-boy tensed and squirmed, pushing in against him, forcing him deeper. And then he felt it snap. Bell-boy's hands clutched at his shoulders, clenched down on him so hard he couldn't stop himself from letting go. Just a few more thrusts and he was spent, all but sated and left with the cold harsh reality, in which pain and insanity entwined to generate his own private little hell.
A pat on his back snapped him back to reality. Daniel relaxed a little and let himself fall next to Bell-boy. His chest hurt and catching his breath proved a little harder than normal. Daniel pulled the sheets up to cover their legs and slung a lazy arm across Bell-boy's waist. He was spent, in a good way. Today had been too long and too short. Both. His head still wasn't in the right space of mind and Bell-boy hadn't taken the time to securely lock him in. Daniel let his hand roam through Bell-boy's hair, gently brushing it back.
He wanted to sleep, but it wouldn't readily overtake him. It felt as if his body was fighting sleep tooth and nail. Daniel dozed, several times. Each time there were nightmares waiting for him and he even felt the intervention of the goatling at some point. After that, he fell asleep a little easier. Even if there was only darkness to await him.
Daniel started to speed up. Bell huffed out, adjusting to the pace. It was actually starting to feel good, weirdly enough. A vague kind of goodness. He couldn't say where or why but--
A shiver ran down his spine. Warmth blossomed up, pleasure sparking inside him. Bell grabbed onto Daniel. [i What--what was that?] He shivered and shifted, trying to feel it again. [i Shit, so it can feel good?] He wanted more of that. Whatever that was. His brows furrowed. If he shifted like that, and Daniel pushed in, then... "Daniel," he breathed. His body tensed. "Right there--"
He wasn't sure Daniel heard, but the man responded all the same. His fingers dug into Daniel's shoulders, his toes curled in the sheets. "Daniel, Daniel," he breathed. Daniel had missed him. He didn't know what to say, so he just held on. He breathed out, back in. Tightened around Daniel. He'd make him feel good, too. That much, at least.
So slow. Too slow. Every stroke was agony, waiting for the pleasure, feeling Daniel linger to pull way. He was on the verge of melting, so close but not quite. It was too slow. It couldn't build properly, the way he wanted it to. Bell bit at Daniel's ear. "Faster?" he requested at a low whisper. He wanted to feel it more. Wanted to see as Daniel let go and gave in to his desires. His breath came short. Their sweat mingled, the smell of them thick in the air.
He couldn't hold back. He tensed and squirmed. Instinctively, his body pushed against Daniel, trying to feel more, deeper. If Daniel pushed anymore, it was, he was going to--
It happened all at once, so sudden he was startled by it. Bell tensed and clamped down, hands clutching Daniel's shoulders, and then it burst out. Heat and pleasure blasting through him like a bomb, more than he'd ever felt with Lilah. [i So this is what I was missing,] he thought, and then he stopped thinking altogether and gave in to it.
When he came to, he was lying on the bed, Daniel hovering over him. Bell sighed out and patted Daniel's back, then flopped down. He was going to sleep.
At long last Bell-boy spoke. Said it was okay for him to slowly move. Bell-boy's grip released a little, as if giving him permission and Daniel bit his lip. Shit. Shit he'd wanted this so bad. For Bell-boy to just give in to him and for shit to feel this good. Daniel breathed in slowly, tried to find a nice, easy rhythm they could both enjoy. He didn't want to push Bell-boy too much. It wouldn't feel right.
"Fuck yeah, it feels good," Daniel mumbled, mind almost lost in sensation. A grin slowly developed on his lips. He'd make it feel real good for Bell-boy. He'd have the man begging for release. He could already see Bell-boy wanted to play a little more. Feel a bit nicer. Daniel kept up with the rhythm, but made sure he went a little deeper with each stroke, made sure to search out that spot he knew would drive Bell-boy wild.
A nudge for kisses. Daniel obliged happily.
Some of the tension he'd felt in Bell-boy started to slowly simmer down and melt away. Good. He could go a little faster then. Just a little bit. Just a little bit faster and a little bit deeper, giving in to their combined need. Daniel held on to Bell-boy tight, burrowed in the man's shoulder, breathed in his scent, soaked up his heat. It felt so good. It felt like coming home, at long last.
"God, I've missed you," Daniel sighed out. Sweat pearled on his body, muscles working hard to accomodate them both. His chest ached, but Daniel welcomed the pain. It was gratifying and at the same time made it so he couldn't finish things too quickly. It made sure he could focus on making Bell-boy feel really good, as opposed to just hitting it home and being done with it. Daniel went deeper, made sure to hit just the spot for Bell-boy and took his sweet-ass time to linger every single stroke.
He'd dreamt of this, back when he'd been alone. Back at the solitary confinement, back when he'd seen Bell-boy, though the man hadn't been there. He'd dreamt of holding Bell, of brushing his skin against Bell-boy's, to touch, to taste. To just be together.
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