/ By SatanSenpai [+Watch]

Replies: 3 / 5 years 23 days 13 hours 36 minutes 38 seconds

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[center [size10 [font "times new roman" A J0URNAL 0F Y0URS TRUELY. Y0U'RE M0RE THAN WELC0ME T0 READ THIS, BUT N0T WELC0ME T0 P0ST.]]]


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[center [b - - - D A Y - T W O - - -
[size9 || JULY 1, 15 ||]]]

[size10 [font "times new roman" My anxiety has been up and down with all the September 15 rumors going around.. Personally I feel as if its just one of the annual end of the world rumors that gets a shit ton of attention, but never happens and I pray to whatever higher being that I'm right once more.

Other than that, life has been well. My art block is gone and my skills are growing better with practice and studying of other people's speed paint videos. I might even record a speedpaint video myself once I can find a screen recorder that is decent and free. I'm even making the girl I still love several drawings for her birthday in August. I plan on getting one of the HD printer stores to print them out on heavy duty paper to be framed or on a canvas. Whatever works the best I guess.
  SatanSenpai / 5y 7d 20h 58m 31s
[center [b - - - D A Y - O N E - - -
[size9 || JUNE 9, 15 ||]]]

[size10 [font "times new roman" The beach is nice. Warm, different mood to the air, and a odd glaze in the air that layers my blonde hair in to a wavy sight good enough to be on the boxes of hair dye and leaves your skin shiny and slick. Salt burns my nose compare to the more fridged air of the Piedmont region, but I will learn to adjust for the rest of the week.

One thing that I have noticed is that the loneliness of mine has not changed. My utterly emotionless and pessimistic behavior draws up the bridge that allows enjoyment into the castle in which my life lives in. I feel like a blank of wood compared to my fairly active parents. I don't hate it, but I also cannot bring it upon myself to like anything. In fact this has been going on for a while with many things in my life. I can't laugh anymore, I can't smile naturally, I don't love anything as much as I used to, and I even have to fake emotions with others. I feel like my soul is black, grey, and white. No colours of feelings. Just the sense of existence and the facts of the world I'm trapped in.

Moving on, I have managed to find some comics that actually have sparked my interest. String Theory is different, but one of the characters bothers me due to strong fears that make me sick at the slightest mention. "Strays" is nice but the creator is close to ending it and "Homestuck" has now taken over my spare time. I'm also very addicted to "The Sanity Circus."
  SatanSenpai / 5y 23d 13h 20m 24s

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