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He knew it would get him killed, but he couldn't help it. He loved her. He loved everything about her, the way she smiled, the way she loved all of him as he was. She was the best thing that's happened to him and always the worst. He's never felt his heart ache this much before and it felt terrible. Worse than any torture he's been through. [b "I know"] he walked with her outside and put on his fake smile, his fake expressions. They weren't that hard to do anymore, it required everything fake to make it seem like he was okay.
He walked with her and held her hand, taking her to the car and driving her to the diner. He stepped inside and looked through the menu, deciding to order some bacon and eggs. When he narrowed his eyes out the window, he spotted someone leaving from the fire escape route. WHy?
He saw their food arrive and then he glanced over to see her offering him food. He took the bite and then he nodded [b "It's good"] he then offered her some of his bacon before looking outside again. [b "There's a man moving down the fire escape. Doesn't look like our guy though"] he told her, seeing the man holding a briefcase.
[b "I think he stole something"] he told her, soon seeing him moving down towards the lower levels. [b "Maybe we should go after him and take that case?"] he wondered.
Joseph knew ARa was a mess and he figured that he'd try to at least comfort her and get her to a point where she wasn't in a dark hole alone. He got her some ice cream and then he nodded "I know ARa. But we're here in New York, we might as well sight see before you black out" he saw her take it and then he shook his head. "He definitely still loves you. I don't think I've ever seen a man from the facility almost cry like that. It's disturbing. He definitely was trying to fight those feelings for you" he told her.
HE was already figuring out a few things and he could guess ARa lost a child. "I won't. If I do, I know you'll be killed and then it'll be my job to try and do that. I won't do that" he told her.
"Well you told him all you needed to say, if he didn't think that was enough, then don't dwell on it too much. Give the guy some space to think. If he really wants to give you another chance, he'll come back" he told her, telling her about himself as well. He patted the top of her head and offered some of his ice cream "Here, try some. It's good"
Klara nodded [b “It would get you killed.” ] He had to be daring to date a girl like her. [i I guess I was right, he does date girls like Ara-or Ara.” ] She didn’t know if what he said was true, if he wouldn’t consider her but, she didn’t want to butt in. [b “We do have a mission. We’ll have missions.” ] She reminded. She grabbed her bag.
Klara decided to accept his apology and go outside with him. She noticed the shift in expression. She walked with along his side and he reached to hold her hand. She found him kissing her cheek and then heard his whisper. She squeezed his hand and formed a smile, because she wanted to look like a couple.
She opened the menu and would pick out a latte, and French toast. Her eyes fell on Sylus for a moment before returning to look out the window, waiting for the guy to come out. She assumed it wouldn’t be for a while if he was out late. There food came out and Sylus was awfully silent. She took a piece of her French toast and offered it to him, [b “Eat up. I’m sure you’re hungry. I know I am.” ] She really didn’t know what to do with broken hearts.
Ara heard the door close, and even lock. She didn’t bother to look over where they were or where he was going. The door pened again and she lifted her head slightly, seeing him offering her ice cream. She didn’t want it, but she took it. She looked out and couldn’t stand any view or anything. She didn’t want to be awake, alert to feel like this.
[b “I’d rather black out… I’m tired.” ] She mumbled. Her eyes felt so hot, but she felt so hurt inside that she eventually was starting to feel numb and empty. [b “He doesn’t love me anymore… Tanner is right, why do I keep doing this?” ] Dating, trying to be with someone. She shouldn’t have went through all of this shit to get broken and have a miscarriage. Ah right, she forgot she didn’t even tell Joseph about that but he must know now, and he wasn’t saying anything…thankfully. [b “you know…you can’t tell anyone about any of this, right?” ] She wanted to make clear. She stared at her own hand and tossed the ring off into the car, not caring where it landed, [b “I’m so stupid for believing anything. He probably was already looking for a way out. Already planned on wanting to be free rather than me.” ]
The words just kept being thrown at each other to the point where nothing was making sense anymore. They raised their voices, they cried and argued and everything was left on the table. He knew she wouldn't hurt him by purpose, but why hurt him in the first place? He thought he was a decent boyfriend and he thought she loved him the most. IT hurt. Seeing her come here crying to be with him again hurt. She cared and loved him, but it made Sy hesitate. He couldn't tell.....what he should do. If he should trust her or not. He had to think.
When he closed the doors, he readied for his mission, mentally blocking out any other sign of trying to think about Ara. It would screw up his performance today and Klara didn't deserve a screw up. He watched her head back inside after talking to Ara.
[b "No one needs to know she was my ex. It would get me killed"] he told her, shaking his head. [b "I'm not considering that after what she did to me. I just need....to think....but not now. We have a mission"] he told her, slowly getting up and then putting on his backpack. He didn't mean to drag Klara into all of this so he figured he need to make it up to her.
[b "Okay. Either way, I didn't want you get involved. My bad. I'll make up for it somehow"] he told her, nodding his head and then stepping outside. Sylus' face was dead. He shifted gears into being the assassin that he usually was. He wasn't number one for no reason and when it came time to focus, it was what he was good at.
He walked alongside Klara, reaching over to hold her hand in his. They had neighbors, they had people watching...so he had to play the part. He leaned in and kissed her cheek, whispering into her ear [b "Our neighbor's watching"] he walked with her to the car and held the door open for her before getting into the driver's seat.
Sylus drove them towards the first target's apartment, parking and then taking her into the restaurant. He got them a window seat and ordered himself a coffee, taking in a deep breath and trying to relax. His heart ached for ARa. A part of him was happy to see her come back to him...but he was still scared of what she could do. He glanced out the window and tried to see if he could spot anything.
Joseph knew that if they went back home, Ara would just drown herself in sorrow and drink. He couldn't have that. IT would only destroy her more. He shook his head and took her to the park. He parked the car right by the water. There was a view of the Manhattan bridge and you could see the Statue of Liberty.
He stepped out, locked the doors and then he quickly went over to grab two cones before heading back to the car. He closed the doors and locked it, giving her a neopolitan ice cream cone. "I know you want to black out, but we're in New York. Just take a deep breath Ara and open your eyes. Look at the view" he told her, licking his own cone.
[b “Well you do… Think about what? You broke up with me.” ] Hot tears flooded and released when she blinked.
“But…you said you loved me. I don’t want to hurt you.” Ara could feel her throat tightening and the world blurring around her because of tears that kept bundling up every time she released them. [b “I know, it’s not your fault, it’s mine. I’m just…I’m saying that it was hard for me to.” ] She didn’t know what she was saying anymore. She stared back at him and narrowed her eyes confused on where he was going with this. [b “No… No…I don’t. How many times do I have to say I want to be with you? If I didn’t, then I wouldn’t be here.” ]
The door closed.
When it opened again Klara confirmed it.
Ara dusted off his hand when Joseph tried to hold it. She hid herself in her arms, feeling everything wither away, all that change she went through with Sylus she didn’t want it anymore. Her stupid mistake. She heard Joseph but she ignored him. She didn’t know where he was driving too but she didn’t want to go anywhere.
[b “Take me back…” ] She said in a small voice, [b “I want to drink and blackout.” ]
Klara closed the door and looked back at him. Maybe she should haven’t said anything. But she only confirmed her suspicion after Ara looked almost like she was traumatized. [b “You didn’t tell me that Ara was your ex-girlfriend. I didn’t think she was at first, so I told her. What are you thinking about? Being her boyfriend again?” ] Klara looked back at the door and somehow managed to actually feel something. She felt bad for telling her that, it would have been better if she had said no. [i She most definitely hates me again. ]
It did annoy her getting in-between this. [b “You should be. We may be busy for dinner. If we have the time, then I’ll allow it.” ] She sighed and thought about if she should have at least told Ara that it was just sex, or would that make things worse? [i Not that it matters. ]
She nodded, grabbing her bag, “Let’s go eat by the restaurant nearby. When that man comes out of the building we’ll tail him.” ]
Having her outside of his door was what made him panic because he wasn't over anything yet. It's only been a few days and here she was already. How was he supposed to face her? He was still riled up with all of these emotions that he hadn't sorted out yet.
As they told each other their feelings, the ending note was that she wanted to be with him, but he couldn't just take her back right now. He sighed softly, fighting everything inside to try and think straight. His heart was telling him to just accept her apology and get back together with her, but the other side was telling him she was just going to hurt him again.
[b "I'm sorry. I wish I really was there! I don't get a free pass for making you feel abandoned either when you needed me most. I get that. But you still did this and I still have to think about it"] he told her, seeing her cry. HE hated seeing Ara cry, but now he didn't even know what to do.
[b "It's bad because I don't know if you'll hurt me again...."] he wanted to cry and leave, but she was making it hard. [b "I didn't mean to make you feel that way"] he could feel the tables turning towards him again and she was making him feel guilty even when he knew it wasn't his fault. [b "All the more reason not to be with someone like me right? That's why you wanted to be with him...."] he couldn't think straight anymore so he closed the door.
Sylus headed to get ready and let Klara take care of the door because he couldn't handle it anymore.
Joseph listened in on their conversation and from the sounds of it, they did sleep together. "I'm not lying" he told her, seeing another person open the door.
Everything was made clear by this Phoebe person and when the door closed, Ara looked stone cold. He held her hand and walked with her back to the car, letting her take it all in as he stayed still. "Ara...come on, let's go" he looked up a small park by the lake and then he drove them over there.
When Klara came back, Sylus looked up at her. He heard what Ara said and he sighed softly "You told her? I figured. Well maybe that'll give me more time to think about this at least" he turned away from Klara and frowned, grabbing his things. If it was over for ARa, that meant it was over as well. He didn't want her to find out about Klara, but he still felt like he didn't do anything wrong. They were broken up and he was broken. It wasn't a big deal.
[b "So let's continue with the mission? Sorry for getting you involved in my personal life. I'll treat you to dinner tonight to make up for it"] he told her.
All he said, she decided to ignore this time. There was no point in telling him much she regretted it and didn’t like it. Half of the time she was doing that with him she got confused if she was with Sylus or him.
When she saw his beautiful golden eyes, and him standing in front of her, her heart screamed to just have him accept to be with her. [b “I want you to be with me, not break up with me,” ] She weakly said. She started shaking her head when he accused her of Joseph being the reason, [b “No, no, I swear! It wasn’t because of him. No… I want to be with you. So what? You get a pass for not feeling anything, while I was overwhelmed by everything? What’s so different about that? I know it’s my fault but you could at least try to understand,” ] She cried, taking in a deep breath realizing she hadn’t breathed in a while. She saw him look at Joseph, she wished she could have left him in the car but there was no way he’d listen to that.
[b “If you did something with her than she does,” ] She firmly said. She could feel her chest pounding so loud, louder than her own voice it felt like at times. [b “I didn’t-I told you I was out of it.” ]
She pressed her lips together and sucked up all the air she could in her lungs. [b “ Then come back running to me. Why is that so bad? And how is this fair to me either? Having my boyfriend feel nothing for me-even if it was out of your control, get pregnant, lose it and making a stupid mistake-then get abandoned?” ] She wiped her eyes again and couldn’t look at him anymore. [i Best for me. ] [b “You mean…you don’t care about me anymore. “ ] She said softly.
He closed the door and she couldn’t leave yet. She pressed her head against the door, her fingers curling up. [i I can’t keep my promise. ] Did that mean he was completely done with her? She knocked again anyway.
Klara took another peak at him. It made her wonder what in the world was going out there. He head toward the room, and there was still knocking. She wasn’t sure if she should answer it, but she went to go answer it while he was in the room.
Ara couldn’t make out what they were saying behind the door. She wiped her tears and would try to listen but decided to get Joseph to listen on since she couldn’t hear. She turned her head and stared back at him, [b “Are you lying?” ] She shook her head [b “No, I need to know. ]
The door opened and Ara faced who she recognized as Phoebe. One eyebrow flickered up on Klara’s face, “Ara. What is it?”
[b “Did you sleep with him?” ] Was the first thing that came out of her mouth.
“That’s not an appropriate question.” She said.
[b “Yes or no.” ] Ara said.
“Yes. He was down about that human ex-girlfriend he had and he seemed happier last night. Don’t worry, he’ll get better.” She said, assuming Ara was worried about his breakup with the other girl.
She stared and froze up, and she couldn’t shed any tears. It took her a while to even speak again, “Okay…Well tell him that she had at least the nerve to tell him the truth unlike him, that she gets the message and that they’re done for good.”
Klara narrowed her eyes, “Are you…I’ll tell him.” Klara said.
Ara turned her back and decided to head off and go into the car and just hide herself into her arms and wanted to black out if she could.
Klara closed the door and would try to find Sylus and then would give him the message that Ara gave her to him.
Joseph didn't mean to push her buttons, but he really didn't care about anything else in the world except for the things he wanted. He knew that Ara was just upset and she'd calm down and come crawling back to his side once she's cooled off. He sighed "I don't know Ara. I thought that maybe you've been through so much that you'd want to take it easy" he shrugged and then he parked the car. "I'm sorry you didn't want that. IT was just overwhelming feelings okay. I'm sure a part of you wanted it though" he mumbled that last bit.
Sylus couldn't take all of the old memories, the past feelings, how much he loved her right now. It took all of him not to break down and cry and ask to be with her again. It wasn't right to be with her again and right now he didn't trust her.
Her words only played tricks on his mind on what was true or not. He didn't know what to believe, but Ara has only told him the truth when he needed to hear it. She also didn't lie about her cheating. He wanted to just believe her and forgive her. The love in his heart aching to have her back, but he just couldn't. NOt until she proved to him she really wanted him back.
[b "Ara....you make it so hard. You know I love you. I have a weak spot towards you....but what do you want me to do?"] he didn't know whether he should have just accepted her or not. [b "Same reason I couldn't be there? Ara...you didn't have your emotions ripped away. You couldn't control your state of mind because of him! YOu wanted to be with him. A part of you did!"] he looked over at JOseph and felt all that anger boil in him. He took his girlfriend away from him. He tainted her, touched her, and made her his. That was the part that really made him upset.
He looked back at Klara [b "She has nothing to do with any of this! How do you want me to understand you? I know what we had is gone. It must have been really hard because I wasn't there, but that still doesn't give you the excuse to do that to me" she kept talking about it and clearly they both were still hurt by it.
She yelled back at him and couldn't take all of this build up, otherwise he'd break down. [b "I wanted some peace and quiet to think. If I kept thinking about this...if you keep clouding up my thoughts. I'd come running back to you like a sap. It's not fair to me. Now I have to think about what's best for me too"] he told her, feeling that ache overwhelm him. She came all the way here to try and win him back. She still cared. She still loved him, but Sy couldn't just forgive her like that. He closed the door and took in a deep breath. He heard her words and it hurt so much. [b "I wanted nothing more than to have all of that with you Ara. Don't make it sound like it's my fault I can't keep my promise"] he ran his fingers through his hair and saw Klara coming over.
[b "Nothing. It's fine. I'll figure it out later"] he headed towards the room to wash his face. He took a deep breath and just tried to relax and get ready.
[b "Sorry, you don't have to be vague with me. You just tell me what you want too"] he readied himself up and tried to fix up his hair again. He looked like a mess about to sit in a corner and cry.
Joseph listened in through the door, hearing the sound of a woman's voice. He looked back at Ara and wasn't sure if he should tell her....but he did want her to break it off. "They're sleeping together. Seems like she's there to comfort him" he told her.
"Ara....they have a mission, we shouldn't be in their way. What'll happen if they can't succeed? Besides, we have all of New York to explore also. Let's just give him sometime to think while we get your mind off of this"
[b “What makes you think I want to be with you after you took advantage? And don’t give me that bullshit ‘you look like you wanted it.’ Because I remember hesitating a good number and crying before that. And when did I ever be with someone because it was easy?” ] She felt that fire burn in her. She knew it would hurt him after she said it but she was not able to take anymore guilt. Her jaw tightened, [b “Yea, it must have been nice for you. It wasn’t for me. It made me feel cheap.” ]
Standing in front of the door just made her realize how much guts and bravery she had to even be here. New York was one of those places they didn’t often set work in because of the rivals they had. The door opened and she poured her words out, and tried to keep it short. He kept a straight face…now and then frowning.
[b “I’m not blaming you. I’m telling you right now and before I’m not blaming you.” ] Her lips waivered and saw his eyes fall on Joseph, [b “Ignore him, he’s only here because of safety.” ] She said and then he rose h is voice.
She forgot to breath, her voice was weak [b “I told you, I…I didn’t know what I was doing and losing what was ours influenced me and I drank because I couldn’t handle it. It’s not because I don’t love you, I love you so much." ] A few tears tumbled down, [b “But I didn’t mean to do what I did. Please… I know it hurts but I can’t let go of you. I don’t want to.” ] She wiped her eyes, and she shook her head, [b “No…I didn’t. Sy, it was a mistake. Please understand that I didn’t do what I did because I didn’t love you, I did the same reason you couldn’t be there for me-I’m not blaming you for that. I couldn’t control my state of mind.” ]
She then saw her walking without any clothes into the living space. She looked back at Sylus, [b “Yea, she did-but why is she without any clothes in front of you. Stop changing the subject.” ] She felt a burn in her chest, and scoffed when he talked about making him feel guilty [b “If anyone is trying to make anyone guilty, it’s you. The only thing I blame you for is not being with me now and not trying to understand my position too. You don’t know what it’s like to see the dead remainder and what that can do to you. What do you mean it can’t be undone? This is more important.” ] She didn’t care about his messed up mission. She already knew he was using that as an excuse.
It angered her that he talked to Joseph, [b “I don’t need taking care of! And I’m not with him.” ] She raised her voice. The air became thin. It took all of her not to start sobbing. [b “He doesn’t…” ] She saw him motion toward her and him and it stung, along with hearing what Joseph said he must have done-blocked her. [b “Imagine that, telling you that I want you and you blocking me must definitely makes [i you ] feel unwanted. I wouldn’t come all the way here and risk myself to not want you or love you.” ] He closed the door on her. There was no way she was going to leave like this. She knocked. [b “Sy…please, you can’t end this. We’re supposed to be make it out together, have a family together, get married…You promised me… I still have the ring.” ]
Klara stepped into the living clothes time and she saw Sylus at the door and could hear the voices behind the door, faintly, so she couldn’t really make out most of it. He didn’t look too happy, “What’s wrong?” She could hear the knocking again, “I’ll get the door. You can get ready.” She suggested, “If you’re so miserable we can do it once more tonight, and when I meant join me in the shower I meant anything but showering.” She said as she grabbed her small bag, that she stored a few things. She figured they could use some snacks too.
Ara looked back at Joseph, [b “You said you have good hearing right? Tell me what you hear.” ] She wasn’t going to leave yet.
He was glad that she was willing to listen. Tanner did say that she was stubborn sometimes and did whatever she wanted. He smiled and then drove her towards Sylus' apartment. He told her to prepare for the worst if Sylus didn't want her anymore, but when she brought up the truth, he denied it. "I just want you to be happy Ara. It'll be easier if it's with me than with him and you know it" he told her, shaking his head. "But you do whatever you want" he sighed.
When he heard her say that she didn't want her first time with him to be like that, he felt bad now. "I know. But it was still really nice" he stated before following after her, making it towards the apartment door as he looked around.
He dressed up and then he heard someone knocking on the door. He peeked through the peep hole and then he felt his heart racing in his chest. It was ARa.....he missed her so bad. He felt so nervous, so sad and afraid. He was so upset all of a sudden, but he knew he had to face her sooner or later, so when he opened the door, he sighed softly and kept a straight face.
[b "I....need some time to think Ara. I don't want you to contact me and I didn't want to be someone you put all your blame on."] Sylus frowned and then his amber eyes went over to Joseph, feeling like shit because they were together and they were probably happy. What was she really sorry for?
Then she mentioned she loved him....his eyes went to Joseph and he looked away. [b "If you loved me so much, how could you do this to me!"] he began raising his voice and then he saw how upset she looked. IT must have been eating her up inside, but he wasn't ready to do anything about it. He couldn't forgive her for ruining their relationship just yet. [b "I can't just get back together with you after that. It hurts Ara!"] he was losing his composure, so he did his best to just glance off a bit, stand up straight and then talk more calmly again. Her words were hitting him hard again and it wasn't fair.
[b "You can keep trying to fix this all you want. I loved you and you just....let me go. I don't know what to do yet Ara"] he admitted and then he saw her looking back. He shook his head [b "It's just someone inquiring something. Give me a minute"] he stepped outside and closed the door.
[b "She just came out of the shower. Ara....you should go back to the facility. Don't chase after me or try to make me feel guilty. I already regret not being there for....our....baby. I just wished things were different. IT can't be undone....so I have to go. I have a mission to do today"] he looked over at Joseph and felt all the hate, the jealousy just build up.
[b "Hey. I don't think we've met yet, but don't you feel happy you stole her from me?"] he glanced at him again and then he rubbed his forehead. [b "Take care of her. Don't let her go"] he then met Ara's blue eyes again, feeling his heart sinking.
[b "Ara....just go. If he makes you so much happier, then all you had to do was tell me. I don't want to be around all of this"] he motioned a circle around her and Joseph. [b "I need to heal and figure things out, that's why I blocked your number. Seeing you just makes me feel...so unwanted. I can't take it"] he stepped back inside the apartment and then he closed the door, his back against it as he quickly rubbed his eyes. HE snuggled and tried to regain his composure. This was all he could do. He couldn't even vent his anger at her. He was so mad....but he couldn't even yell at Ara. He loved her so much still and that's why it was so frustrating she did that to him.
Ara sighed and nodded, [b “I promise. I’ll do whatever you say.” ] She definitely didn’t want to get Joseph in trouble. He knew best when it came to her safety and she knew she shouldn’t be forming any of her own ideas.
It took her the car ride to finish half of the muffin. She had to give it to him though, trying to look after her when she couldn’t be bothered to look after herself. She tried to push away any guilt for Joseph right now. What she knew right now was that she wanted things to be okay again and she wanted Sylus back. She hated everything that he was saying [b “You’re only saying that because you want me to drop him and then magically be with you. And news flash, I won’t become stronger. I didn’t become stronger when I thought you died, and I won’t this time either.” ] She didn’t want to move forward even if he said no to her. She wanted him, wanted him in her life, wanted to have that future with him and get back what she lost one day.
[b “Jose, you know I wasn’t capable of making decisions. Even if I wanted to have sex with you-that is not how I would want my first time with you to be like.” ] She wanted to make it clear.
Klara tilted her head and decided not to ask him about those memories, not wanting to dig her nose where it didn’t belong. He stepped out and she decided to stay a little longer in the shower, mostly because she was running some thoughts in her head, and was pretty puzzled that maybe she should have just said she didn’t mean actually showering first.
Ara could feel the weight of a whale drop onto her the second she saw his golden eyes. Her throat became raw and her eyes warmed. Her limbs felt like pudding. Everytime they met, it was usually happy but he didn’t look like he wanted to face her. [b “I…I want to talk.” ] She began, [b “You weren’t replying to my messages. I said I was sorry…for what I said. I messaged you that I was coming. I was worried…” ] That huge lump in her throat formed. She forget all that she planned to say. She couldn’t remember so she winged it.
[b “Sy, I love you. I don’t want to break up.” ] She shook her head and tried so hard not to cry. She didn’t cry yet but her voice cracked, “It was…so hard for me losing the one thing that was ours. I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m so sorry. Please, can you let me fix this? I can’t stand the thought of everything we went through to go away because I love you so much,” ] Her eyes filled up and she made sure not to blink. Then she recognized a blonde girl, which must have been Phoebe walking across the living room naked, grabbing a shirt and wondering back into the bedroom, “Sylus, is it our neighbors?” Klara asked.
Ara looked back at Sylus again. No… He couldn’t have.
[b “Did you…?” ] She squinted her eyes, and shook her head, [b “No…you couldn’t have. Why is she nude?” ]
Joseph knew he'd be a great guard. There was no way that he was going to screw up. He's screwed up many times before and this wasn't going to be one of them. He cared about Ara and her safety and he'd make sure that he did a good job. "It'll be fine. Just make sure you do as I say when it comes to your safety okay?"
They soon arrived at the hotel and were able to sleep for the night. Joseph really wanted to be able to explore the city with her. He's heard a lot about New York's city of concrete and he really wanted to see what it was all about. He dressed and waited for Ara, handing her a muffin as they headed down. He told her the plain facts, but when she decided that wasn't going to happen, he wasn't sure what else he could say.
"I just want you prepared okay? If this doesn't work out, you'll become stronger and move forward. If it does, then good" he stated, soon driving her towards the apartment she mentioned. Her words hurt again and he couldn't really blame himself when she accepted him too. "I couldn't help it. I missed you and it seemed like you missed me too" he sighed, soon arriving and then seeing her step out. Joseph just walked beside her, looking around and making sure there wasn't anything suspicious.
Sylus finished showering, wondering what she meant by she didn't think they were going to shower. What else was she thinking they'd do? He finished washing her up and then he grabbed a towel and handed one to her. "I am sensitive about them. A lot of them aren't very good memories" he admitted before stepping outside of the shower.
He dried himself off and then he stepped into the closet, changing into some jeans and then a vneck shirt. He grabbed his things and then he heard the knock on the door. Who could that be?
Sylus stepped outside "You can get ready, I'll see who it is" he headed to the door and when he took a peek through the peep hole, he saw that it was ARa. Ara! What was she doing here? Sylus' heart rate sped up and then he wasn't sure what to do. How did she know where he was? If she did, that means she knew he was inside. He couldn't handle it.
He slowly opened the door and peeked just a bit. [b "Ara....what are you doing here? I'm on a mission. I can't talk right now"] he told her, taking in a deep breath, trying to sound perfectly fine, but inside, he was freaking out and just begging for her to leave because he'd end up breaking down again.
It comforted her to hear him say he wouldn’t sacrifice himself. She worried about that the most. She held her smile, “Thank you, I trust that you’ll keep me save. I just hope I don’t do something dumb that makes it harder for you.” ] She sighed, remembering that idiotic mistake she made trying to fight that guy and almost getting killed. She nearly got everyone in huge trouble.
On the plane ride, she kept thinking about Sylus. He was everywhere, always in her mind, and also that lost baby. She felt so depressed at some moments that she really didn’t want to be awake. She listened to Joseph and he sounded right but she also knew that space could also make things worse too. If he got so used to the space, then…he’d always stay forever away. [b “Accept what? He said he loves me, and he knows what I went through. It’s not fair to me either. That he can blame it on that-thing-and I can’t blame my mistake on losing…it’s not like I can control it either…nevermind.” ] She shook her head, knowing if she started talking about it, she would cry.
The thought of Sylus blocking her made her break just a little more. She narrowed her eyes when he said he didn’t want her to get hurt. [b “If you didn’t want me to get hurt than maybe you shouldn’t have slept with me when I wasn’t in the right mind to make a decision.” ] She leand back and she fell asleep after.
They arrived a the hotel, and she slept. In the morning, she dressed and stepped out, not wanting to eat, or do anything but go to Sylus and talk to him, explain to him that she truly was in a state of mind where she couldn’t make decisions, that she loved him…
She nodded, “I will,” She headed downstairs with him and she followed him and he end up getting her a muffin. She wasn’t hungry but she took it from him. She was ready to burst into tears when he said ‘doesn’t want anything to do with you’. [b “He’s an asshole if he says he wants nothing to do with me. I did a lot for him too you know, not just the other way around.” ] She let Joseph drive again to the apartment. It wasn’t the most high end neighborhood.
She saw someone catching a look at her and whistling. Irritating, but it was nothing. She made sure she was on the right door, 305. She knocked and hit the bell and then her anxiety shot through the roof.
He smiled "Of course Ara. I know you don't want me to be that close or to be your boyfriend, but I really do care about you. I know that as a guard I shouldn't be sacrificing myself to protect you either. Don't worry, I've been strictly told not to do anything stupid and I've done some tests. THey make sure that the guard of the Ara is really good. Why do you think Tanner is still here?" he smiled and then he sat down and relaxed on the plane with her.
THey talked about how Sylus probably blocked her and he wanted her to be aware of all the possibilities. "You two need space to figure out things. HE has to think about what happen and accept it first" he tried to tell her. She was in denial though and she felt like she could change his mind. "I don't want you getting hurt Ara. You have to be prepared if he really doesn't want to be with you" he didn't want to make light of the situation.
They soon were landing and when they arrived at the hotel, Joseph carried the bags and headed up to the room. He saw ARa just fall onto the bed and he laid beside her since there was no other beds. He woke up before ARa did, already changed and dressed to go. When she came out of the bathroom, he met her eyes "Of course Ara. Let's go. Just make sure you always stick to my side okay?" he walked alongside and then he headed down. Joseph saw that she didn't eat anything, so he bought her a muffin at the front.
"Here eat. I know you're eager Ara, but just promise me you'll be okay even if he doesn't want anything to do with you okay?"
Ara lifted a smile [b Thank you, I know you will. But you’re protecting me not just because of a mission right?” ] She nudged him and then slowly remembered that…she didn’t want him to protect her. She wanted to protect him. She didn’t think her heart could take it if he lost his life. [b “Just…don’t take a bullet for me or anything. I want you to be okay.” ] Ara bit down on her lip.
They were on the plane and it surprised her that he wasn’t surprised. Her lip waivered a bit. Blocked her? Her heart sank. She looked at her phone again. He would go so far to block her? What? Did nothing they did together matter anymore? [b “If I stay away from him then that could make it worse, then he might always avoid me. Maybe he’s just busy with the mission.” ]
She sat back into the seat and went through the ride, thinking about all the possible scenarios that could happen. She liked to positive but there were those negatives that he truly never wanted to see her again, that he had other plans now. She felt afraid… She mentioned to Joseph about Tanner. [b “I trust you. Tanner thinks I’m hard to protect…I don’t know what to do to make it easier.” ] She sighed. She let the time pass by, listening to music and then showed Joseph some pictures she took in different part of the world, and sometimes she ran into Sylus and it hurt.
She decided to sleep on the plane ride as it was night time. She woke up later and the plane landed. She was half asleep when she got off and grabbed her bags. It was 2am, she felt it would be better if they went to a hotel and slept for the night. She easily booked one and when they got there, she crashed onto the bed without a care in the world and woke up in the morning. Ara rolled out of bed, and realized she only booked one room. It didn’t matter now. She got up, stretched and went to shower first and then changed into a light teal flowy dress. She curled her hair just a bit a smiled at herself in the mirror, and then her eyes fell to her tummy, almost forgetting that the baby was gone. She held her stomach for a moment and sighed. She stepped back into the room and tapped Joseph who was already up, [b “Could we go? I want to meet Sylus. I’ll see how things go… I still have to actually make an attempt to see my aunt later but for now, I want to talk to him.” ] She didn’t feel like eating.
IT was all a rushed decision, but Joseph was always making decisions on the spot, so he didn't think that it was a bad idea. He did his best to make sure that she was well taken care of, but sometimes ARa was unpredictable. "Of course as in protect you. That's my mission and I'll make sure I do a damn good job" he told her, soon listening in on her conversation with her dad.
THey were soon set to go and he was surprised to hear she's been there. "Ahh, I see. Well I'll make sure no one lays a finger on you" he followed her to her room and watched her pack, grabbing her anything else she needed. Once they headed to the airport, he could see her constantly looking at her phone. She told him the truth and he sighed "I kind of figured this rushed decision was to try and talk to your ex. Still Ara...I don't think it's a good idea. He's probably not over it yet. If he's not even replying to you, he probably doesn't want to talk anymore or he might have even blocked you" he told her.
He sat on the plane and just leaned in to relax. He pulled out his ear plugs and started to listen to some music. That usually calmed his nerves down. "ME? I'm a great guard. We'll be okay. You're my top priority and I haven't failed any missions yet when it comes to protecting"
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