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Everything was a touchy subject. She had believed he had broke up with her, and felt relief that he didn't. But the mention of using his father...meant she had to be around him and she didn't want that. But if it was for the good of them, she would have to push through it. She knew finishing this mission with all of them alive was more important than her hate towards Shawn after everything she discovered about him. It was true, that if she never did know about him than she would have seen him as a good person because he had always been one to her. That didn't change her how she felt about it now though.
She knew she wasn't a good person because of what she had done. Although, she didn't entirely blame herself either. She made the best decision she could in the situation. Still, it haunted her. She felt his arms around her and she felt the warmth of him. She turned around, wrapping her own arms around him, leaning her head against his chest for a moment. Ara then took the bottle for herself and listened to him speak as she drank.
"[b I will... It's just a little hard lately but It's already getting better]" She locked her eyes with his, enjoying the closeness.
She knew exactly how much Tanner cared about her because she cared about him the same. He was overprotective, that was clear. She laughed a little back, "[b Yea... I'm sorry about him. He's not. Don't worry. ]" She really felt bad about Tanner. Sometimes he did that and she forgot to tell him not to. Not that...telling him to stop would make him stop. The bottle slipped out of her reach when he took a hold of it. She watched him take it in and then suddenly felt his lips on hers, tasting the alcohol streaming through. She had to admit, she liked that. She kissed him once more before letting his lips part with hers. "[b Mmm... Yea I do.]" She took the bottle from him again and drank a good load. She always did drink whenever she couldn't cope with something. It was a horrible thing to do but sometimes she used it to delay her from doing something more stupid and then giving herself more time to calm down and figure out a solution.
"[b To be honest, I want to just drink everything away. And...if I blurt out national secrets, I am not responsible for you knowing, say like about aliens, deal?]" She laughed a little and held his hands, going on her tip toes and kissing his lips quickly again. She then took another drink, feeling that warmth and waited, wanting to just let loose.
It was such a long and tragic road that Sylus has been through and he didnt want any one to pity him at all. There were people that went through worse. People that had more problems than he did. If he was all alone, he knew that he wouldnt ruin anyone or have them all look at him the same way his mother and father looked at him. Even now his father still had that look in his eyes as if he didnt see a reason to acknowledge his existence, even now. One day he'd prove him wrong somehow.
Still, Sylus yearned to be around some people. Some people that gave him a chance, got to know him and didnt want to leave him. He had great roommates, some friends at the facility, and even Ara stayed at his side. He wished he could keep her there, but over the past few days, he noticed her suffering as well and he didnt know why.
In her room, he was sobering up, his mind starting to focus and work once more as he watched her carefully. He noticed he was in her room and noticed that he had made her upset with what he said. He apologized to her and told her to just use his father. He was working at the facility anyway, maybe Ara had more authority over him as well? He wondered.
Sylus heard her say she wasnt a good person and he understood what she meant. She had good intentions and he wished she at least saw that. Sylus gave her a hug when she said he could and he held her close, seeing her wrap her arms around him as well. He smiled weakly and then he sat at the edge of the bed, feeling her arms around him once more and saw her drinking. [b "I dont want you away from me. I just want you to look at me the same way you used to because Ill be fine"] he assured her, letting his hands rest against her back as he took in her comfort and her warmth. It felt nice being this close to her and he missed it.
[b "Tanner really cares about you I guess. I got tons of spam...and I think he's already trying to find and kill me"] he laughed a little and pulled back to look up at her. He took the bottle from her hands and he took a sip, smiling up at her as he leaned in and met her lips, letting the alcohol in his mouth fall into hers during the kiss. Sylus took in a breath and then he asked [b "Do you want some more?"] he wondered, thinking that maybe there still was alcohol in his system, but he wanted to forget about his problems right now with Ara.
She didn't think he would understand why she couldn't open up. But it would take a lot more time for her to be able to. After nearly breaking up with her and dealing with Shawn she felt less trustworthy of others. That would change, she knew it would but right now, it was going to stay that way. There was far more comfort in keeping quiet than speaking out. Plus, she did know some pretty deep top secret things that sometimes were part of why she felt horrible but she couldn't exactly let that out to people. She felt a load of relief hearing that he didn't want to separate from her. She was still upset but that did make it better. "[b I don't want to be away from you long. I just needed a day or two.]" It was overwhelming dealing with all of this.
"[b I knew that but I never thought he was doing it to me. ]" She frowned and thought about taking advantage of him and she really didn't want to be anywhere around him. She didn't want to even make a false smile or talk kindly to him because she didn't think her anger would allow her. "[b I don't know. I don't want to be friendly with him but you're right. It's better using him.]" Which meant being close again. She inhaled a deep breath again and just shook her head, "[b I didn't. I'm not a good person. I guess so...]" She started helping people because she liked the way how Shawn helped her. She had kept herself together because she felt that there was someone there. She hated him, and how he shaped her to be the way she was now.
She stayed in her chair, and spoke but found the silence grow. She remained quiet too. A pair of warm arms wrapped around her waist. She felt the warmth sweep in, and she relaxed back into him, feeling his head rest on her shoulder. She turned around and wrapped her arms around him.
"[b It's okay. ]" She shook her head and then met his eyes and smiled a little. "[b Well. I wouldn't mind right now. Just a little. ]" She got up and went to grab the bottle and then pulled it out. "[b I still have it from the last time we went. ]" She opened it, drank a bit more and then got up and put her arms around him again. "[b I don't need to be away from you. I'm sorry if Tanner give you a hard time. At least I think he might have. He always does this thing where he spams people of messages...anyway. Thank you for not breaking up with me. ]"
It was difficult for him to understand why it was so hard for her to open up, but he could guess. It was hard for him to tell her about what his father did to him and to talk about his family to her. It was tough, but she made it come out of him and he thought she'd be able to do that much for him, but maybe her secrets are more difficult to deal with. He was wondering if they were as horrible as his, or maybe even worse. All Sylus thought about was that when she did tell him, he really hoped that he would still be able to be by her side and understand her. He owed her that much.
His eyes kept a steady gaze on her teal once, watching her try to open up to him or at least tell him that it was going to take some time for her to get to know him. He didnt want to be the reason she was crying and as much as Tanner wanted to beat his ass for it, he didnt do it on purpose. He was worried about her, about them together. He just hoped she was doing okay. [b "Im not. I dont want to separate from you. I just want us to be like how we used to and if you need to be away from me...so be it"] he told her, running his fingers through his hair as he looked around the room. He was realizing now that he wasnt in his own dorm room. [i Shit] he thought to himself as he looked up at her.
[b "My father is very manipulative. I wouldnt want to be involved with him either, but if he really cares about you that much, it might be an advantage and you could use him?"] he suggested because he didnt want anything to do with his own father anymore. [b "Im not mad at you....because.....he treated you well. YOu turned out okay.and you were strong enough to help me when I came to the facility. In a way, it really helped me"] he remembered that first day they met. How much of a relief it was to see her smiling, to have her walk around and give him things when the rest of the world was torture. She made him who he was today as well.
Sylus heard her and he decided to take the chance now since he didnt know if he'd get another one. Making his way up to her from the bed, he managed to walk up to her and then he leaned in and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into a hug. Sylus rested his head on her shoulder and then he just took in her warmth, remembering her scent, her comfort and how she held him that night he was traumatized.
[b "Im sorry about what I said and being out there alone....and IM sorry I came into your room like this....the alcohol is finally going away"] he sighed softly, pulling back to look into her eyes. [b "We can always just grab a bottle and relax here?"] he suggested, walking over to slip into his jeans and his shirt once more.
She didn't know how to go on about how she couldn't really open up. She wasn't too good at it and she didn't know if she trusted him a hundred percent. And it wasn't really his fault, it was the fault of the people she previously been with that she had a hard time. [b Actually...I don't. It's not your fault, it just takes time for me to start opening up.]" And she wasn't so sure she would after him breaking up with her, well until the moment he blurt out that he didn't actually break up with her. She felt certain that he had. Her eyes were still red and she still was at the verge of crying. So, he wanted to have a break to get her better? She swore it was because he didn't like who she really was. And sometimes who she was, was somebody who hid their problems away from others or killed someone because she didn't want them to go through any torture."[b A break but...you're not breaking up with me?]" She needed to clarify that before she start getting any hopes up.
"[b I guess it doesn't make sense that it isn't my fault but I still do feel at fault. But I care. I don't want him to treat me like that. I don't want him near me. He made me believe he was a good person my whole entire life and it turns out that's a lie. ]" And she couldn't believe hearing him say that he was glad that he gave her a better life. Well her life was still hell but it always easier when there was someone that appeared like they cared. "[b How can you say that? How can you not be mad about it?]" Hold her...? Did he really still want to do that? She did feel the need to protect him. To keep him away from his father. "[b You can hold me...again if you want.]" She met his eyes and tried to clear them again. She did care about him and she really liked him and that's why it hurt so much when he talked about breaking up. She didn't want that.
"[b To be honest, I feel like drinking until I pass out too but I didn't want you to be out there with strangers. And I can't be out there either... I have a habit of...spilling multibillion dollar secrets.]" She kept her eyes on him, finding herself able to look at him now that they talked. It felt a relief feeling that he wasn't actually breaking up with her, that he didn't want to just leave her or didn't feel the same anymore.
If he stayed at the bar, he figured that would have been better. He would be all alone and just drinking his sorrows away like he wanted. It was all he wanted really, to not be a problem for someone else. To be able to feel better on his own so that he could move on from all of this and move one step closer to his goal. He wanted out of the facility and able to live a normal life. He wanted to just be free, free of his father, free of Tanner always chasing him down, the guards and all of those tests. He just wanted to live for himself really.
He wanted a way out of feeling like this, but he knew that wasnt easy. He could clearly see that Ara was trying to help him, but he wasnt sure if she was just helping him so that he would stop drinking and go home....or if she was helping him because she truly cared. He ended up on her bed, still not realizing he was in her room as she spoke to him. In truth, all he wanted was to be her boyfriend and stay happy with her in this outside world, but the sight of his house and his father was too much. He felt so weak remembering how useless he was as a child, always hiding, getting caught and then getting hurt. Even his mother had the audacity to send him back to the person that nearly killed him.
The more she spoke, the more he could see that he wasnt quite getting anywhere. It was going to be hard. She didnt seem like she was in any position to tell him anything and honestly that irritated him, but he'd try his best. [b "Well you know you can tell me anything Ara and Ill listen"] he stated simply and then he heard her question.
[b "I dont want us to end. I just thought a break would help you get better"] he saw her rubbing her eyes and he knew he'd hurt her when he said that. He was sorry for making her cry and making her feel like crap, but it was true. He just wanted to give her a break. [b "We all have a weakness. None of this is your fault Ara...it's between my father and I. I dont care if he treats you better. If it was between you and I, I dont mind him giving you a better life than he did me. IM glad he made someone happy at least. The problem is my father and I want nothing to do with him anymore okay. Dont feel sorry for me. Im alive and okay while he has no one....please Ara....I just want to hold you again. I want you to look at me like you always have, not like some weakling you need to protect. I can do that myself..."] he told her quietly.
She wouldn't be able to manage him over there, or herself. So, she thought it was best if they came over here. She didn't care if he drank back at the dorm but she didn't expect him to come into her room. Although, she did have rum here from there last trip. And right now, that seemed like a good idea too considering how she felt but drinking wasn't he answer. It shouldn't be anyway.
With Sylus completely all out without his clothes in her bed, she really didn't know what to do but he was responding to what she was saying, which surprised her. Would he even remember any of this? Or maybe he wasn't as drunk as he thought. Although the trip here said otherwise. She sighed. Why? She just didn't feel comfortable opening up to anyone. She didn't trust anyone. And she's always been taught to be secretive. He could use the things she said against her. It has happened before. She liked to keep things private, to protect herself, and not to hear somebody tell her that she had it easy and that she had no right to claim her problems, problems. So, it was just easier keeping quiet. Besides, she didn't want to be seen upset, it'll only make another person upset.
"[b It's just a lot easier for me to keep things to myself, okay. I just don't trust easily, don't like to be judged or make someone upset... IT always gets bad when I talk. I know you did, but I can't...not yet. Someday just not yet... ]" It still didn't matter because he broke up with her. Anytime he talked about it, she wanted to zone out. And then she heard about not being over. What did he mean about not being over? Why did he break up with her if it wasn't over. "[b Then why did you break up with me?]" She asked quietly, feeling her emotions break through again.
He didn't want to end things? But a break usually meant he wanted to break up. "[b So you're not breaking up with me? ]" She asked. She glanced back at him and wiped her eyes quickly. "[b It is... Because I don't like seeing you so weak because of him. I haven't seen you so weak since you were a kid it scares me that I didn't do anything to help you make you stronger. That I didn't help you at all. And that I'm the girl that your dad treats better than his own family. I feel guilty that he treats me better, and that he made me really, really happy and the person I am because of how he treated me when it turns out he did that to you. ] She shook her head, feeling so upset about this. "[b And he keeps lying to me. Trying to manipulate me into thinking you're lying but I know you're not. I hate him. I hate him so much and I hate how that it makes me look at you like your a victim I feel sorry for.]"
He didnt think that the alcohol was helping him much at all when it came to trying to go home. It helped him numb those horrible feelings, but the more he tried to numb it, the more upset Ara got when she came. She didnt want him to drink and it was upsetting because that was making him feel worse. It was pissing him off because not only did he not get a chance to just get himself wasted for the night and then wake up to another day, but now she was taking him home.
Following after her was quite difficult with the amount of alcohol he had ingested. HIs eyes were blurry, but he did his best to move around, cross the street and make it back to campus. Thanks to her help, but Sylus wasnt even fully aware at that moment. It was clear when he entered her room, that he was so close to the bed. He thought he was in his own room, so he stayed in just his boxers and climbed into her bed, resting against her pillow.
Sylus heard her voice and tried to tell her what he thought, but when she spoke, his amber eyes stayed on hers, just trying to keep awake as he listened. [b "WHy are you horrified of opening up? I told you everything you wanted to hear about me"] he explained, wanting to know her more, wanting her to lean on him. [b "What are you talking about Ara? It's not over....I never wanted it to be over..."] he mentioned once more, looking up to see how depressed she looked.
He ended up sitting at the edge of the bed, watching her on her phone as he regained more of his consciousness. [b "I wanted to take a break. You didnt seem like you wanted to be near me....so until you were okay...I just wanted to give you space. I didnt want to just end things with you. I really like you Ara"] he stated simply, wishing that she didnt think it was completely over. He didnt want her to just separate from him. He just wanted her to be okay because it seemed like he was hurting her. [b "I dont want you to go away...I still want to be with you...just...it looks so hard for you to be with me after what happened"]
Sylus was stumbling everywhere and she honestly did her best to make sure he didn't hit anyone, or fall out of line too much. Before she knew it, he was in her dorm and in her bed. She decided to keep herself by the desk, sitting in the chair feeling lost and broken from all today's events. There was no real fix to it and she didn't want to think about it but she couldn't help herself, especially since he was in her room. And she didn't think she had the courage to tell him if he would go in his room. She end up speaking, expected him to be too out of it to understand what she was saying.
when he looked at her, she felt her eyes grow red again and she turned her head to hide the embarrassment. She hardly depended on others and she hardly opened up to anyone at all. Opening up wasn't something she was good at. She kept things to herself when she could. Sometimes, Tanner caught on, but even now, she never did tell him the full story of what happened. "[b I don't open up to anyone Sylus. Not fully. I can't...I'm horrified of opening up. I just needed a day or two... That doesn't mean I don't want to be around you for a long time. But you already said it...So I guess it's over. " She laid her head on the desk, her arms below her.
Ara got out her phone, going through old pictures and deleting them. She had some times captured with Shawn here and she really wanted nothing more but to get rid of everything on her phone. She didn't want anybody. She didn't want to be hurt again. This time, it really was going to be the last time. There wasn't a chance she was going to ever date someone again. That was it. She didn't know if Sylus really was going to sleep in her bed, but it didn't matter anyway since she was pretty sure she wasn't going to be falling asleep any time soon.
They werent working at all lately and the whole reason why he didnt want to be with her was because he could see it in her eyes. She looked at him differently and it looked like she was having a hard time being around him so he didnt want to see her suffer. In truth, he didnt want it to end. He really liked her, he even told her he loved her when he wasnt even sure, but he did feel an emotional attachment to her. HE's never felt this way for anyone before let alone another girl. He only felt this way around Ara, but to Sylus he felt like this was a sacrifice worth making so that Ara would be okay.
He went to the bar to try and get his mind off of things, so he ended up drinking a lot, but when he felt someone tugging his arm and then seeing ARa, he just felt even more upset because he didnt want to be thinking about her here. He grew upset from her words and then he stood up, telling her off, not caring what happened because she did make him feel like she just didnt want him to cause anymore problems than he already had and he just had enough of all this. He was a problem to everyone that was important to him and it pissed him off. To make her quiet down though, he agreed and just left the bar, wandering down the street towards the campus. He wobbled into a bunch of people, shoving some as he made his way towards the stairs.
When he managed to pull his way up the steps, he walked right into the door, reaching into his pockets to find his keys, but it wasnt working. When Ara let him in, he walked over and shed his clothes before he climbed into her bed. He didnt know where he was exactly, but he did know that he's been here before. He laid against the pillow and he just didnt want to move anymore, so he just tried to relax, but he felt horrible. He didnt feel good and now he had a horrible headache.
Sylus heard her speaking in the background and when he rolled over to look at Ara, he was still buzzing, but he could speak to her normally [b "I loved you. I still do. But you wont even open up to me and you depend on others....how does it make me feel. LIke you dont want to be around me anymore.....that's why"]
All she had heard when he spoke to her at the restaurant was that they weren't working and that could only mean one thing. The only reason she followed him into the bar was to get him out because she couldn't bare facing him after he broke up with her. She felt like she was right all along and felt mad that he would spit out something like 'I love you' too. But they always said that, didn't they? Always said things that they couldn't keep and what made her think Sylus would be any different? It was the same thing over and over again, except worse because she was stupid enough to sleep with him...more than twice. And she swore it would be different this time too.
She hoped her pleading would get him to get back. And then he pulled away from her grip, so she just took a step back from him. She didn't want to worry about him, but she couldn't help it. She's always taken care of any of her friends and had tried to help out Sylus all of her life too. She couldn't stop worrying about him even if she was hurting so bad because of him. She inhaled a deep breath and wished she wasn't the person she was because then she wouldn't be doing this.
"[b I can't...]" Her voice dried up, "[b I can't stop worrying about you. ]" She followed him to the dorms, making sure he wasn't crashing into people. He did...a couple of times and she apologized to them and lead him onto a straight path. Sometimes he'd end up tipping over and she end up helping him get up, and he nearly ran into traffic, so...she stopped him from getting into a car accident by pulling him out of the way. By a miracle, she managed to get him safely on campus. And then came the trouble with getting him up the damn stairs. It wasn't easy... she didn't know if Sylus realized it either, it didn't look like he knew he walked into a door that was closed. So, she opened the door for him and just followed his lead and somehow she watched him go into her dorm room, which she helped unlock. And then, off came his clothes and she watched him in disbelief go into her bed.
Now. She didn't know what to do. Instead of speaking or asking him to go to his dorm room, she kept quiet and sat on her chair by her desk. She gave a quick glance at him remember the beach and more of what they did, of what she gave him when she was a child. And it tore her apart again. "[b I felt...like I loved you. ]" She whispered and silently cried to herself because it didn't matter. It was over. And now, she didn't think she could be around him just because it was over. She wished she would just learn already and not ever do something like this again. People were always quick to leave when it got rough.
Sylus was feeling so down today after having broken up with Ara and then speaking with his dad. He had had it with all the lying and facing him like it was okay when it really wasnt. He felt like she was acting different with him and he knew it was because of what happened. After she met his father, she had become a stranger to him and he didnt like it. His eyes watched her curiously when he spoke to her at the restaurant, not so much as a glance, she didnt look at him, touch him or do anything and he didnt like it. He had to break it off for now until they were both better. Otherwise, it would just be painful to be with each other.
He ended up thinking about things too much and it made him sick. He felt like everything he's worked for, all the people he's met, it all meant nothing and right now he didnt even mind if his existence was wiped off of the earth. He just wanted this feeling in his chest to go away. He ended up getting up onto his feet and stepping out, rubbing his eyes as he tried to look presentable before heading towards the bar.
He sat down and then he ended up drinking more than he wanted to, but he felt so good. The pain was numbing, his vision was blurring, but overall he's felt better. He was babbling out all of his problems, feeling like shit, drinking his sorrows away when he felt someone tugging his shirt. He glanced back to see Ara. He whined out to her, hoping to get some feedback, but he just got a bunch of garbage and it made him upset. He didnt like the words that came from her mouth and it pissed him off.
Sylus stopped listening to her after she said that she would love to hear him whine and complain and he stood up, removing her grip from his. [b "Im fine. Im going back okay? Stop worrying about me when you dont even want to, just leave me the fuck alone then"] he told her, heading out the door. He was wobbling, but he was heading off in the right direction back to the dorms. If she couldnt hold herself together then why did she even come. If she didnt want to hear him whine, then she should have just left him. He could take care of himself.
He kept silent after that, a part of him still sane as he walked back to campus towards the dorms. The alcohol was draining down by now and he was starting to get sober, his body feeling that aching feeling and that hole in his chest. He sighed sadly and just entered his dorm room, taking off his shirt and his jeans before climbing into bed. SYlus has had it with today and he didnt want to deal with it anymore. Maybe he should stop playing around and acting stupid and maybe he should just focus on the mission so that they could get back home. He didnt like it here at all anymore.
The moment she sat down on her bed, she intended to tell Tanner she was safe. Instead, she saw Sylus had messaged her. The last thing she wanted to do right now was see him. He had gave up on her when they hardly started and she hated being right but she was. She was just hoping this time it was different anyway. But it was never different was it. Everyone was the same. She was too much to handle and then they left. Well, maybe Jack wasn't so wrong after all. No one would really put up with her. Well, except for Tanner. Tanner could put up with anything.
Yet, she still feared that as soon as she let herself see Tanner differently that everything would change. That he may leave her stranded like anyone else has. She never wanted to ruin him, or the relationship they built. She had him and no one else. Shawn wasn't even real to her anymore and Sylus... She shook her head, whispering to herself to shut all the thoughts in her head.
[i How could someone love someone that murders their own friends? You're the monster. ]
"[b No. No...no.]" She sobbed to herself.
Her fingers dug into her clothes, pulling out fabric, putting them on when she ran into her own reflection in the mirror and couldn't help but feel disgusted. She hated her brown hair, her teal eyes, what she wore, how she looked like, how she was like and what she did and everything about her. Everyday...she tried to look the best, to look perfect, all because she knew her inside was ugly. She shut her eyes, inhaling a painful breath again and then forcing herself to go grab Sylus.
A few eyes levitated on her and as always, it didn't matter. It never did but today, today it annoyed her. Ara touched his hand, a cold jolt ran down her spine. She set her hand away, feeling the despair in her chest expand. The music drowned out when she saw his head turn to meet her eyes, but she quickly shifted her eyes away because she knew the moment she saw them, she might lose sight of herself. She listened to his whining and she honestly had no energy to attempt to help him because she felt too hurt to try. She didn't want to stay here with him. Why did guys always think that after they hurt her that they still think they have the right to lean on her? What was she? Inhuman? Did they think she could just take everything, no matter what and deal with it? Because even though she could take a lot, she had a point where she couldn't handle it. He was obviously drunk.
"[b Sylus... Can you please follow me back to the dorms.]" She tried politeness first. "[b I can't leave you alone here and I really want to go back. Because as much as I would love to hear you whine and complain about your problems when I have my problems, after you clearly blamed it on me for breaking up with me, I don't have the time. So...Please just go back to the dorms. I don't think I can stay here long enough to hold myself together. ]" She saw another drink coming out and there was no way she was letting him drink it. So she just took the shot and dared herself to take his hand and pull him out.
His father had done and said all that he could and honestly he was a straightforward man. He saw things as they were and told people his first impressions. He didnt care really about what they said or did. All he really did care about was the fact that he needed to have the people he cared about in his life and Ara was was one of them. It was difficult to hear her words, hear how much she's changed. She always looked so happy seeing him and this time, she looked so upset. He did his best to make her happy and it didnt work.
THe man took his anger out when Sylus came over because he blamed the boy for changing ARa's interpretations of him. He spoke out his mind, thinking of Sylus as more of a hindrance and was actually glad that he spoke to him. HE told him all he needed to say. He had been a thorn to his side and he still was just as he predicted. He was just as useless as he was a kid. Those happy pictures were all just lies and Sylus even remembered the minute that he had turned on them. Those happy days lasted but it didnt mean much anymore.
He ended up going home feeling so disappointed and upset at his own father and what he did to Ara. He didnt want to make her upset, but he knew she was acting differently around him and he didnt like it. He felt like he was the problem, but she just didnt want to say anything, so he did his best to end it for the two of them so she could at least clear her mind and tell him sometime later.
He headed back to his dorm, but he just felt like shit, nothing was working well for him now and he hated living out here, being so close to his father, getting yelled at by TAnner and being avoided by ARa. It was such a horrible feeling, so he ended up at a bar, sitting at the counter with empty bottles of beers beside him. HE would glance back at his phone and he just sighed softly, seeing Tanner's replies. The man was so overprotective of Ara, but it seemed like no matter how hard he tried, ARa has already set him in the best friend zone. He didnt mind his complaining, he just wished he'd calm the fuck down. Sylus had more to worry about and he didnt want to add Tanner to that list.
He saw the text and he simply smiled [i "You and Ara always seem to want me dead. She tried to kill me personally already. Im sure you killing me would solve all of this"] he sent and just relaxed, feeling his body going numb and the buzzing taking over. Damn he felt so good and as he relaxed, he ended up blurting out his thoughts to some of the people sitting beside him.
He soon saw Ara heading into the bar and when she tugged on his hand, he glanced up at her with sad eyes [b "I dont want to drink at home Ara. I dont have a home. I belong nowhere and soon TAnner is going to kill me, what's the point?"] he mentioned to her, asking the bartender for another drink. [b "Come and join me Ara. Im sorry. Im sorry for making you feel like shit, but it really is me isnt it. Im a mess to everyone"] he mumbled, his mind just spurting out his thoughts, not caring who saw or heard.
When nothing was said, she left. The lying, and everything that he did got to her and because of him everything was a cruel mess.
It wasn't the same when she saw him but it was only because it was a fresh wound. And she normally recovered within a week or even less. She had to learn to move on and accept it as it was. She liked him enough, and even if she saw felt the ache in her chest she saw him, she also felt all the good parts of what they were starting and she wasn't about to give that up. She knew she didn't open up so easily. It took time for her to do that, to allow someone in and trust that they would stay.
It wasn't a good time to tell everything she felt...either and then the bomb dropped and she couldn't see anything passed what he said. Problems kept on being added to the list, to top it all he decided to break up with her when it barely started. She hated how this kept happening, over and over again and she felt so done with feeling this way that she really didn't want to deal with anyone. She felt the regret grow in her. Regretting kissing him, touching him, giving her virginity to him, all because she felt so hurt. His family really seemed to really make her like them and then hit her twice as hard.
Ara released it out in the shower, and then a bit more when she came face to face with Tanner. She didn't mean to agree that it happened again... She didn't want anyone to know how hurt she was. Her chest ached to the point she felt like throwing up. It seemed like the only person that really was there for her, that never would leave her or lie to her about who they were was Tanner. But she could never, not ever put him through being with her. When she looked back at his eyes, she knew that he would do anything for and that's what she was so afraid of.
Once she helped herself into his shirt, and he left, she cuddled in the couch for a bit, but then went through the motions of knowing what Tanner was going to do. He was going to try to comfort her and she was going to cry on him and they would eat something, drink a bit and the cycle would go on and on. It was cruel to keep doing this to him.
[i You're a fucking idiot. If I had her, I would never let her go. ]- Tanner. He was actually surprised to see him already reply and felt annoyed that these guys would always drop Ara. He never had a single chance and if he had one he sure wouldn't do what they did. And then after his shower, she wasn't there. He got on his clothes on and begin looking around, messaging Ara and trying to et Sylus and Clyde to look for her. And Sylus reply after really was striking his nerves. [i Find her. I swear to god if something happens to her I am going to personal kill you. ]" The next time he would see Sylus, he truly would beat him up for letting her go to his apartment alone and making her upset to the point to do who knows what she was doing.
Ara had simply decided to go back to the dorm, hugging her body and hoping no one was staring at the fact she really was just wearing a long t-shirt. She knew it didn't look good and her hair was still wet. So, she went as fast as possible back, and got to her dorm, shutting the door behind her, knowing Kim was right out there. She was going to crash into the bed when she remembered she should tell Tanner at least where she was. She had put on her phone on silence previously. She pulled it out of her bag and saw Sylus' recent text and the ones following that was Tanners'. Why would she join him? Right after he broke up with her? Why would she even think about it.
She inhaled a deep breath, crying to herself silently and then calmed herself down again and messaged Tanner. [b I'm at the dorm. I'm okay. Don't worry. I just needed to be alone for a bit. ] - Ara. She rubbed her eyes again and stared at Sylus text. She should probably get him before he did anything stupid, even if she was really upset and breaking down because of him and his father. She got up and grabbed a shirt and shorts, not even putting an effort to really do anything more.
She made herself exit campus again and go to the bar, resenting even coming because she really didn't want to be near him more than ever now. She spotted Sylus and she tugged on his hand, "[b Hey... Come on. Let's go. You can drink back at the dorm okay. ]" Sylus was modified after all. If he started some kind of fight, well it would be pretty odd to see his strength, or even hear the things he was saying. She didn't know how he was when he was drunk past a few minutes and she didn't want to risk it.
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