[merriweather [center Your dream is where your heart is.
It’s something more fragile than life itself.
No matter how many times you throw it away, you still find it.
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[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExgmZXYUh6M&ab_channel=daoko_jp]]
[center [size10 I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I miss you. Always.
This song will always remind me of you. Every time I hear it, all I can think of is you.
It's been playing a lot more at my work, haha ... I wish you were still here.
I don't think there will be a day where my heart doesn't hurt with the thought of you.
You're always in the back of my mind. Always ... I probably don't have the right, but I miss you.
[size16 I know we can't all stay here forever.]]]
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irqFRZqptWg]]
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5eYNOnyBcU&ab_channel=ViRuS_X]]
[size10 I was so happy for Thanksgiving. Happy to see my dad. I should've known better. I'm just the forgotten child. The outcast. I don't know why I bother with showing up to your family functions anymore. You just break my fucking heart.
I brought donuts from work to share, but of course [i she] wouldn't let me put them out. Had to be rude about it too. Fine. Sorry for trying to be nice . Didn't have to be rude though. Fucking hurt like hell ... But what can I do. You married her.
Her family is more of a family to you than I am to you. I [i begged] so many times for you to show up and see me. [i Begged] and you couldn't even be bothered to come visit me. You never had the time or money. I have less money than you but what does that matter when that's the only way I can see you ?
Hah ... Then I think about last Christmas. You "didn't know what to get me." I gave you a fucking Christmas list. You've known me my entire life, yet you have no idea what I like ?? That's fucked up ... All I got was pajamas and socks from you. My stepbrother was the only one that gave me a gift that I actually liked, and it was a $10 blanket. I've always put effort into your gifts. I don't know what more I can do, as your daughter.
You don't care. You break my heart constantly. You've been breaking my heart since I was little. I'm tired of you breaking my heart.
I don't know if I want to bother showing up to Christmas. I'm conflicted, because I don't want to hurt you. But I also wonder, would it feel like the sharp stab of pain that you've constantly caused me?
I didn't ask to be born. I didn't ask for you to be my father. Yet here we are. I'm alive, you're my father, and you can barely give me the time of day. I wonder what you would say, to little five year old me, about all the pain and hurt you've caused her. Your "little girl."
I don't mean shit to you. Have fun with your new family. You don't need me at all. You're lucky I love you so fucking much ... Only reason I pushed through all of my pain.
I can't do it anymore. Enjoy your wife and your new family.
I'm not a part of it.]
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdT-JG2hb8w]]
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ph6yj9rEVs]]
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Got to see mother fucking Metallica live. Even got a guitar pick from them. Gods, I'm so happy right now. All the shit stressing me from the past week is gone. This weekend was amazing. Going home tomorrow to my babe and I'm gonna spend the day relaxing. Then I'll go kick ass and look for a job. Things will get better, because I'm going to fucking make them.
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8V5dAli-Q]]
[center [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8MByH0ELSo]]
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fuck being friends with jerks that just make me cry and stress out
[center this is my theme song tbh
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