Sometimes he despised the other man as he seemed to be quite the optimist. Perhaps despised wasn't the correct way to word it, but it was more an envious feeling. For he himself hardly ever felt that way and did have the tendency to dwell on the things that had been. Slowly was he coming out of that and slowly was he learning to let Olivia, Cecil and Bea in. But only really those three as they were the ones he felt comfortable around, though he attempted his best at staying composed on public as he still very much hated large events and tons of people.
"You know what I am saying, Cecil. The two of you need to figure out what you want from your future and your lives. And yes Olivia and I are together, but others besides you and Bea cannot know that. It is looked down upon." The man said quietly and resisted the urge to brush the other man's hand away from his shoulder as he truly was not one for touching.
A soft almost scornful laugh slipped the redhead's lips. The other woman was right about no guns being help to her head, but there was her parents holding the funs over her head. [b "The choice has always been my parents'...if I don't dance I don't get their help. In the beginning I didn't mind and had believed it was what I was supposed to do...but meeting you, Cecil and even Erik changed that...Just now I don't know what steps to gake."] What use was there hiding it from the other woman anymore? For all she knew this was the last time they would be seeing the other face to face for a very long time.
Slowly her eyes fell on Olivia. [b "Perhaps the both of you need to be doing what you love too... He does seem like this is torturous to him..the teaching dance like this. But perhaps you could convince him to go with you? Start a school for those like you? Both of you would be amazing at helping others find that part of them that they think is gone."]
It could have been the honeymoon stage, possible optimist person or any of the above. Cecil felt good though. He wanted to have her and that was all he wanted, except for a challenging research paper. Looking to Erik who was concerned about him and Bea he gave a smile.
"I think I've done my job, you've got yourself a girlfriend...nevermind it's secret...and you're concerned about myself and Bea. That's great, Erik, it really is," Cecil patted his shoulder since Erik wasn't a toucher. "Well, I used to think a good position would be what would keep me happy. I don't care anymore, it'd be nice...but I'd go wherever she goes and find whatever is there, maybe she'd do the same for me."
"And why won't don't you have a choice? No one is holding a gun to your head and telling you that you have to dance. Do whatever makes you happy and you like your uni courses," Olivia said looking to what few items she had. This was done, she was done with her family, and the stuffy places.
"I suppose we do. I don't think he quite enjoys teaching most of these students either, especially dance, he should teach music but not to everyone with big pockets. People like me who need to find that something in their soul."
It was strange to see things coming to an end. That a new beginning was coming. The redhead had gotten usee to Olivia and had come to think of the woman as her best friend and almost like a sister. So it would be strange not seeing her everyday like she had. But moving with Cecil was what ahe wanted. With him she was happier than she had been. Of course she was aware that hers and Cecil's relationship was confusing to Erik and Olivia as she was sure they both had talked to them about it. But the other pair's relationship was odd to her and Cecil too. Or rather it was odd to her if she was honest. Though it was not her place she was curious if Erik had ever come clean.
[b "Neither of us know quite what we want out of the future. We know we want to be together though. He has a programme here he was maybe thinking of taking up...and even if I don't want to be a dancer completely it isn't like I have the choice...But there are other programmes here that are amazing."] Bea said thoughtfully and then sighed as she hopped on the desk facing the other woman as she spoke.
The words spoken by the other were some of the more open she had heard. Though that was one thing she had noticed since Olivia and Erik had become a thing. Both did seem more open. [b "Seems we both have some conversations to be had then. But I can see your point there. It does seem nicer to have a place not so tightly wound and that would undersrand that the two of you want to be together. Unlike here.."]
Erik turned to Cecil as he looked at the letters from both Bea and Cecil's prograames. It seemed that both had been accepted to them. "And what do you want to be doing?" The man asked quietly, setting the letters down. He had noted that both Cecil and Bea had become more contemplative which was usually his thing.
The other had been trying to help him and now he figured he could try and help. "Have the two of you spoken of this at all?"
It was puzzling with the sort like Bea and Cecil. Clearly they loved each other, yet there was still all these plans on a future that didn't seem to include each other. Olivia knew it wasn't her place to judge or wonder what they were doing, still, she was completely confused. Why not just stay where they were both happy and together.
The young woman sat on the rarely used bed looking to the small, neat stack of boxes. It would be difficult to not have her to come to the room and just vent or joke around, but they loved each other and had been together for a few months.
"So...why not just stay here? This program is good if you want to keep dancing, if not there's other places. The universities are fine if you want to do that. He's not doing too shabby there, is he?" Olivia asked, clearly puzzled beyond belief right now. "If you both want to, then maybe you two should find a city that both works for you and go for it."
Her and Erik. It was a strange thought, while there wasn't a title, she just liked to think of it as boyfriend. There was no one but him in her life in that department. "Well, I may have to go back. I'm only here on a Visa...I guess I should tell him that. I don't know. Here at Populaire...I think I'm done though. At the theatre I performed at, they have lessons, and know places that's not so...stuck up in the ass...so to say. And maybe we could truly date without this big secret relationship, which sucks."
It was funny how much seemed to change in the next few weeks. Bea and Cecil were almost always together and she was almost always with him. Only did she come back for the early morning classes. But it seemed that she wasn't the only one staying around less and less either. Olivia and Erik seemed to be spending a fair amount of time together as well. Had taken the leap of faith and seemed to be together and happy enough.
[b "I've been thinking about it...But he almost seems so settled here. And I don't want to be the reason he feels he has to leave. I love him and want to be with him.. but I don't want to uproot him."] The young woman said quietly as she set a box by the one that had just been taped shut by the other woman.
She also if she were honest wasn't sure she was making the right decision. All her life she had let her parents tell her what to do. They had been the ones to send her to the school to begin with. And she was still under their deal as well as they MAJORLY helped to pay for class and programmes she did.
[b "You know...maybe you should talk to Erik as well? I mean all of us seem to be making life changing decisions."] Bea was trying to get the attention off her own previous words. And wanted to hear more of Olivia's plans.
The change from friends to lovers was challenging and welcoming. There was something strange about it as well, now instead of just for lessons to speak to him, it was far more often. Whenever there wasn't an early morning she spent that night with him. Of course, her roommate was moving out.
Helping Bea with the last of the boxes she gave a smile. "You know...you told me about the program you were looking into, right? Maybe you and Cecil should decide on a city and place together, go together. You know. Don't give up a person because of what you think you should do but what you feel you should do."
Using the last of the roll on that tape she stood up. "I actually was thinking I should move, too. Finally leave this school. Suppose it's the matter of the passport business."
It was late and after the one time, Bea had fallen asleep curled up with the man. If she could be thankful for anything it was that there was absolutely nothing for the day. She could stay with Cecil and she could sleep in if she wanted. And even in her sleep, the young woman dreamed about being with the man and living in the flat with him. Small, but cozy. Still much better and bigger than where she was at the current time.
When she felt the bed empty beside her was when she woke. It seemed the sun wanted to assault her eyes through the drapes as she slowly got up and found one of his shirts and put it on. And after she had, the young woman wandered to find him, a soft smile on her lips when she had. [b "Morning handsome."]
Of course there were things that he had not said. But that had been because he had not been ready nor thought that she had been either. Her words though had tugged at something deep within him. A trust and was the emotion passion? that he had not felt in a very long time. [b "I do intend to tell you and soon. I promise."] He whispered, arms staying around her and kissing her head.
Being with her was so much nicer than being alone. Scary but in a way he could MAYBE get used to. [b "A day time trip. Better to get ready so we truly have all day. What do you think?"]
Cecil could be thankful that there was nothing happening tomorrow. After that one time, he was passed out, possibly in his own drool on the small bed. There wasn't a terrible amount of space in his flat. It was really one big room where he just had the room divided from the rest. The woman lived in someplace smaller, so she wouldn't mind hopefully.
That morning, he woke up earlier to make some breakfast and see what sort of opportunities there were. There was a solution, he refused to let go of her for any reason.
There was something that wasn't said there. Why did the writing match? It was similar . "Erik, you know that you can tell me anything, right? It feels like you aren't telling me something..." She said turning around to face him. It was sweet that he began writing music after they got close. It was amazing that she inspired him.
Resting her head against his chest she closed her eyes contently. "A day trip it is then."
Erik could not tell her about Don Jaun even had he wanted to. Time was just not on his side for the moment, but the second he could. [b "The one you were humming I happened to start writing shortly after we had met and began to spend more time together. I had of course been writing long beforehand... but for a long time I had lost my inspiration and motives for writing music..."] The man explained, almost embarrassed as emotion was not one of his normal things.
To have her so close and for them to be intimate as they were was very different to the man. Comfortable in its way, though incedibly scary as never had he let anyone in so much. Never had he let them so close. If he were honest, Erik could say that he was falling and falling hard for the young woman whom now leaned against him in his shirt. Anyone else would have been happy for the feelings, and deep down he supposed he was but more so was he afraid.
He listened to her words and a light smile graced his lips. It was also a day free for him as well. Usually he would try and write or he would roam but he so liked her idea better. [b "We can do that. Another town does sound more exciting than staying here. As does an over night trip."]
The young woman was not sure how he would take to her words. But seeing his smile and his actions made her amile as well. She had not been lying when she had said they were hardly ever apart. And if she were honest she liked his appartment and all the time that the two of them spent together.
[b "Have it soon, okay? And I think both of us can't get enough of the other. Because I was about to drag you back to your room for one more time before exhaustion overtook us."] Bea purred softly against his lips when she returned his kiss, soon leaning her head to the side to give the man better acess to her neck.
For now, the redhead was as happy as she could be. Even with the future not set and not knowing where things would head she was happy. And what was more was she was with Cecil and wanted to take full advantage of the life they had in those moments.
After a moment Olivia decided to pick up Don Juan triumphant. It was thin, and even the paper felt different. It was a full orchestra though there was only the one song. There was something strange about all of this and why he would have this, though she decided it was best not to bring up that feeling right now.
Giving a smile she leaned against him. It was completely comfortable to be wearing his shirt and touching so intimately. Oh, she really was falling for him hard, though the thought was uncomfortable for her.
"Please, I just know what you taught me. When did you start writing this? It's sweet," Olivia said before thinking thoughtfully. There were no classes and it was her day off. "Maybe a day trip, go to another town and come back tonight or tomorrow?"
Cecil was pleasantly surprised when she agreed so readily. The only times she was not here was when there was early classes. Giving a small delighted laugh he walked over to her and kissed her deeply. "I'll get you a key then. Now, I think I want to ravage you one more time before we pass out in exhaustion."
He kissed her neck, a big, happy grin on his face. It was perfect to him. Nevermind that it wasn't certain but he'd take full advantage of where they were now.
His words very much caught her offguard. Was he being serious? But she was quick to get her head together and gave the man a small smile as he did continue with his words. It would make sense because she was almost always with him anyway and they did end up coming back to his appartment more times than not. However, was asking something like this normal and so early in the morning too? Would he still feel the same later on?
[b "Actually...I think maybe it would be a good idea. We're always together as it is and so many people think we are married...so maybe it wouldn't be a horrible idea."] She had been silent for a few moments before she had answered of course. But that had only been because she had wanted to find a way that her words would make sense.
She wasn't sure what their future would be, but they had to live their lives in the present right? Besides things could still be figured out. And those were her thoughts as she moved to the man and took his hand, gently tugging him back to his room with her.
For a moment he did look to the sheets of music she had beem looking at. Did he dare tell her the truth? After a moment he decided he would. [b "When I was a child I began to write music. I had always loved it."] He admitted, arms gently snaking around her waist as blue gaze came to meet hers.
[b "To be coming from you that means a great deal."] The man said, the faintest of smiles upon his lips. And if he were honest he meant the words he spoke, but if asked by another Erik would deny it. Only did he seem to have a soft spot for a few and she was one of those select few.
They definitely did have something. It was so very different than anything he had ever felt before. A connection and a bond it seemed. A special spark that was only had with her. Terrifying as the man found it, even he could admit he did not want it given up or for it to end.
[b "What did you want to do today?"] The man asked, quietly.
"Why don't you move in with me?" The man suddenly asked, it was after two in the morning. According to several resources it was bad luck to do anything major at two in the morning. Perhaps that was the reason, there was no thinking, there was just the thought or action in the nude.
Cecil paused in his thinking before giving a small chuckle. "Wow, I have no idea where that came from. I'm sorry if you aren't ready. I just...I don't know..."
He might as well asked her to, well, move in and not be sure about the future. Well, the future was never certain.
It was amazing the depths of his talents. She had seen sketches, now this, and what he knew. He truly was a genius in that aspect. There was rough aspects but that was in all people. Looking back to him she gave a smile. "When did you start writing music?" She asked curiously looking to the new music. Attempting to not look to Don Juan and how similar it was.
Turning around she wrapped her arms around his waist kissing him softly. "It's beautiful, Erik..."
She didn't want to give up what they had, even if it wasn't exactly understandable but it was still something.
Falling asleep with someone was beyond unusual for the man. But it was comforting and it was nice. For the first time it didn't feel like he was alone and he slept well. Probably the best he had in quite sometime. Or that was until he felt the bed beside him empty.
Slowly blue eyes opened and he looked around, shaking his head gently when he saw the young woman by his desk. Very slowly and quietly the man got up as he got his pants on. It was when he heard her humming his music did he slowly come up behind her.
[b "It's been a long time since I have heard another hum or sing it. It sounds lovely coming from you. Do you like them?"] His words were quiet as he spoke them. And there happened to be a genuine curiosity in his words.
The two had been eating and it had been in silence. She knew that Cecil would be graduating soon and she herself had a couple years still easily. But she was more concerned in a sense for the man as she didn't know what path he would be taken. In fact, neither one of them knew. And with the passion and fun of the evening having come to an end, those thoughts were enough to weigh on her mind and enough to bother her. God she hoped that the man she had come to love so dearly wouldn't catch it or ask her.
[b "Getting some sleep sounds like the best plan. And so does figuring this out later and together. For now tbough I juat want to be with you."] The young redhead said with a soft smile as she took both their plates to the sink and then went back to the man and took his hand.
She knew that she loved him and wantes to be with him. But she didn't know what their futures would hold.
It was strange waking up next to Erik. She remembered everything and it felt amazing, it was just a strange feeling. Unable to stay asleep longer than a few hours at a time, she found herself rising early. Placing on one of his shirts, she used the bathroom before finding his desk. Most women would hate a man who wasn't orgnaized, she actually preferred it.
Spying some music, she looked to the first much older copy with the name Don Juan Triumphant compared to a new one. It was strange how similiar the handwriting was.
Humming the first song, she gave a smile. He was writing music again, and it was beautiful.
In just a few months he would have graduated and would be done with school. That would be when there would be a need for an occupation. It wasn't as if what he chose was entirely useful, it was nice, but it wasn't entirely useful. He had doubts about if it would actually help in any case.
Finishing the sandwiches he pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. "Let's get some sleep. We can figure something out later, we can together."
It was time to ask, to do something serious, he wanted to keep her.
How or why did they have to get into the deepeness of their conversation at that moment? The night had been perfect and everything had been like a dream. Both of them, or rather she thought both of them had admitted to something that had been left unsaid or a secret until that point? So why did they have to suddenly go from their light heartedness into a heavier topic? Quickly she shook those thoughts from her head and smiled faintly as they had decided on a late night meal of the omelets and the sandwhiches and still being naked. Of course that one thing happened to amuse her, though she had no intents to even say it.
[b "Right now I'm just not sure which way I want to go. But it means a lot that you'll be there whichever way I want to go...and both sounds good. Especially since it is late ans we both know we like having something with sandwhiches. Besides, this way I can help too."] Bea said, a small smile coming to her lips. She hoped he had taken her words into consideration. But she wasn't sure because he hadn't said anything. And honestly she didn't want to dampen their moods more and so didn't ask either. At least not for the time being.
Even he was astonished in his own words. But somehow he had felt she needed to hear those words. And somehow he thought maybe hearing them from someone like him might be of help. It wasn't that he didn't think she had suffered because the man knew that the young woman had. But he had done worse and been through worse and even if he didn't admit it or prize himself on it wanted her knowing that if he could do it then she definitely could.
[b "I do believe it. You know me by now and know I would not have said it if I didn't.. and perhaps we do need that...someone to remind us those things.."] Those words were uttered quietly as blue gaze was locked upon her.
When she left him to use the restroom, the man turned onto his back and stared up into the darkness. What had she done to him? She was changing him and in ways that he did not think possible. And even if it scared him, the man had to admit that maybe just maybe the changed were for the better.
As she was back and settled beside him again, Erik's arm without much thought went around the young woman as he listened to her words. [b "It has...and good night to you as well Olivia. Sleep well."]
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