He was right. She had so very loved dancing and had been doing it from such a young age too. To not be doing it anymore would seem like a part of her was missing. But she also reemmbered that she had been growing tired too as it was what expecred of her. And also what had ruined things between them. So on one hand, a part of her was devastated but on the other she could see how it was a good thing.
The faintest of smiles came to her lips. [b "This just means I can focus on other things I love more.. You even said at some point there was more than just dancing if I would give it a chance. And now I can."] Honestly she didn't want the man feeling bad. It wasn't his fault she had fallen and ended up ending her career as a dancer.
His story he realized would sound absurd at best. It was an old one and one many had told and had had wrong. Those who had lived it with him were long gone. The only things that made his tale real and believable were thr changes of his face, knowing the undergrounds as he did, and how well he knew the opera. Otherwise he was aware it could seem a huge story.
The man had almost shyly returned her kiss and leaned against her hand when it was placed upon his cheek. [b "It wasn't your fault it had happened...it was the ways of the people and their fear of the unknown.. I can't promise I won't...But I can promise to try."] He whispered as his eyes locked with hers
How strange it was to believe this. His face had changed in ways that he couldn't be explained, his story was something else, as well. It matched him knowing where the underground lake was and knowing much about the opera. At first her real thoughts was 'holy shit, this is happening' before it turned to utter sadness.
"Oh, Erik..." Olivia gave a soft sound. There wasn't any words to say she moved to him again softly kissing him resting her hand on his cheek.' Resuming that closeness was easier now. "I'm sorry you had to suffer as you have. Can you promise me you won't go back to where you were...and stay with me?"
Could he say he had been paying attention to his work? He remembered only half of what was said and done. Some was only saying someone had his parts in a twist or on hold, either way, he looked to her. It was sad to see her like this and knowing that she might not dance again.
"Worse? You are alive...but dancing...it was what you loved..." Cecil said, surprised at his own empathy. Her not doing what she loved would kill him more than not having her in his bed when he woke up. "I'm so sorry, Bea."
It was awkward to say the very least. They had not seen the other or really spoken since he had left. And then the first she did see him she one managed to fall off thr stage and two she ended up in the hospital with a broken foot that could actually did more than likely end her dancing career. It was ironic how the dancing had been the thing to basicslly end them and then this. But the woman didn't say it.
A faint smile only crossed her lips. [b "I should have been paying attention...And you're right. Worse could have happened. Why don't you sit? You know I don't bite."] She was trying to make semi light of what had happened.
When she had not turned in fear or recoiled from him, Erik could not help but to be surprised. But then he had to remember that this was not his time and she was different from most. He could not help flinching first when she touched his scarred cheek but then relaxed.
[b "This is from my past...it happened by an accident when I had been a child and well...Since I looked like this I was deemed a monster.. People constantly would taunt me and were very cruel. They hated me because of it...So I became the monster."] That was the start and then he told her all of it.
It was difficult to know to what to do then. So, Cecil stood back, letting the others take her to their infirmary. When she was brought to the hospital he followed after, entering the room when he was allowed. He looked to her, looking so terrible and it dawned on him. These accidents ruined careers.
"Oh, Bea, I'm so sorry. At least you're okay," Cecil said slowly, walking to her side but stood. "I mean, mostly okay, obviously your foot isn't good. What I mean is nothing else is broken. Which is good."
Well, he sounded like a nervous idiot, and he was standing there like an idiot.
Olivia sat down conflicted between just pacing or moving into him. It was what happened after lessons, lessons were professional, it was afterwards that wasn't. Olivia missed that deeply even if it had been a few days.
Taking in his face, it was certainly different than expected but she didn't shy away in horror. Giving a soft sigh, she scooted closer to her reaching out to him with her right hand. Touching the scarred part of his face she gave a soft look. "I'm sorry, Erik. Please tell me."
She never cared so much about a person like this. She truly loved him.
Those words flashed him back to a long time ago. Flashed him to another who had said she wanted to know the Phantom. It was to be expected that his past would come back and haunt him. He had only hoped it would not have the moment he was with Oliva. Or the moment she wanted to know the truth. And for a moment the man was frozen where he stood, piercing blue gaze locked with the firm stare.
After a moment, the man nodded and slipped the mask off so she could see. [b "Come sit. This is a very long tale."] Erik said quietly as he moved to take a seat himself. She had wanted to know and he had wanted to tell her.
The young woman had managed to move to where she was sitting against the base of the stage. Her foot hurt and looked like hell. She and the others were sure it was broken as she tried to move it and found she couldn't without it hurting and causing her to scream. Pain had never been something she had been good with. But usually when she had gotten hurt from dance it didn't seem this bad. But then she had never fallen like this before either.
[b "It's fine okay.."] She was muttering to the others and froze when she saw Cecil following one of the other dancers. Oh god.
Olivia remained firm where she stood, her arms crossing over her chest giving the man a hard stare. "I want to see what it is you are so afraid of letting me see. That won't chase me away. Avoiding this will, though. You wanted to talk, you wanted to tell me everything. Well, here's your chance, Erik. Tell me everything."
Now Erik seemed to doubt her but she loved him. It had been love for a while, and now that she had the chance to truly know him she wanted to take it. "Yes, I can. I'm not a good person either. My dad's a monster. If you were a monster you aren't anymore. Just tell me, okay? Please. I want to know you."
During the weekend Cecil did return to check on Erik and see his family. It wasn't like she didn't know, he never told her, since it was better they got a clean break. They wanted different things, they would just need to live with that.
There was something nagging him to visit today, maybe Erik hadn't changed yet and was in class. Instead he heard a commotion. "What's happening?" He asked a passing dancer.
"A girl broke her foot. At least we think..." she answered.
"I'll help you," he said, before following after her.
Piercing blue orbs were upon the woman as she entered and he did step back a step or two when she had gotten closer. [b "Trust me, you do not want to see what I look like without the mask."] Erik said quietly, eyes finding thier way to the ground as she said she should not have stormed out. A part of him did want to go to her. A part wanted to tell her it had been expected. Yet the words caught and he could not.
[b "The monster that I was wants to come back and wants the control yet again. Do you believe me now? Honestly? And could you love a monster?"] His questions were truly something he wanted to know. But in their way were tell-tale that he did love her even if he did not say so directly.
The two had not spoken since he had gone. And it killed her because she was so used to at least a call or something. She missed Cecil and his way of looking at the world. She missed how he made her think and made her laugh. Truly she just missed him and wasn't adjusting as well to the distance as she should have been.
"Beatrice come on..we have to be on stage." Came Camilla's voice breaking into her thoughts as the readhead was just finishing the makeup she was supposed to wear.
[b "Coming.."] And with that being her only word, Bea followed the other to the stage. They were meant to be doing a preshow before opening night. The dance started well and she focused at first. But little by little her concentration began to slip and she began to think of Cecil again and the life thrown away. Before she realized it, she had gotten too close to the edge and could not regain her footing and fell from the stage.
Olivia took only two steps in before spotting the gleam of the mask. Frowning she placed her bag down looking to him. He certainly was looking and acting different, she let out a breath giving a soft sigh. "First, I'm not going to talk to you with that thing on. Second, I'm sorry that I just stormed out like that. It wasn't fair to you. I really didn't want to say anything that I'd regret."
Stepping forward, she gave a soft sigh, stopping short of a few inches of him. "I was wrong to do that, Erik. I wouldn't have believed you. And whatever you did back then, isn't you now. I'm sorry for my reaction. Please forgive me...I love you..."
And that was out. She hadn't thought that would come out.
The move to England wasn't as rough as he thought it would be. He was a 'flat mate' of another person that worked there. It was a fairly easy transition, well, easy as in heart broken easy. The long distance thing really wasn't going to work out when they couldn't even contact each other.
The hours was long like he was expecting. It seemed he worked ten hour days and still had to commute home. Maybe he had made a mistake by not accepting long distance, they could talk without tension at least.
The night she and Cecil had talked about where they were headed and what they would do had emotionally destroyed her. She loved the man, she really did. And maybe if she had, the young woman would have let him walk away. She would have let him live his life and she would have given up on dance and done what she really wanted to be doing. But she had been too much a cowards for it. And because of that, both she and the man were suffering.
She had had a talk or so with Olivia since the night it had all come out in the open. But the talks were not what they had once had. The redhead knew that the other was disappointed and had been struggling. But at this rate and in this point in time, there was nothing that Bea could do. The best she could say was to not give up, which internally had her blanching as she and Cecil were both nearly there. So with not really much to keep her attention, the young woman threw herself into school and dance both.
Erik had taken to hiding away in his room and little studio. The man had not been the same since the night that he had been told of the mask. Physucally or emotionally. The changes started slowly but seemed to quickly pick up as he was no longer fighting it. He was again so much more guarded and even some of the old deformities took hold. Once more all he could see was the monster.
The day Cecil had come to him was also the day that the other man had left. But he had been told to keep trying as he knew the curse. If he let it take his soul again then this time he would be completely lost forever. And he would be the monster he had been.
At the knock on the door, Erik froze. He had been told that Olivia would be coming to see him. A small part wanted her to, but the other didn't. And for a moment he debated what to do before he found his old mask and put it on and went to the door, opening it and stepping back to let her in. The man had yet to speak a word.
Throwing in the towel seemed so much easier than dealing with the inevitable heartbreak. Yet Cecil couldn't quite do that since he loved her. Cecil took a long drink before giving a half hearted smile. To say yes, let's try anyway, it was right there but it made him nervous. Instead his mind wasn't really in charge here, rather his heart.
"I guess, we could try, just talk and see each other when we can," Cecil said half hearted. Standing up he offered her a hand, though wasn't feeling all of it anymore. "Let's, um, get back to them and yeah."
He wasn't entirely in the mood to talk about this anymore.
Cecil placed in the application that night, and was accepted a week later. Getting rid of most of the items, he packed what few boxes there were. Now all that was left was to say good bye and hope for the best. Looking to Bea he nodded. "Looks like that's it...keep the place...or do whatever...I don't care."
Kissing her softly he smiled grabbing the bags he looked to her. "I'm going to see Erik before I go. Keep an eye on him, please."
There was faltering, oh yes, indeed. Olivia took a breath in looking to his hand. It had been the hand that meant so much. It had taken her body in, guided her on breathing, comforted her, and had written such beautiful music.
Olivia found it hard to put away the anger though but her body language had softened. "We're both cowards, Erik. I can't do this right now Erik. I'll come and talk to you a little later, okay?"
It was something she touched his hand before continuing away.
The next day was too difficult to face, in fact, she moved into her own little studio. Since it was owned by the owner of the bar, she had a good discount, and it was now easier to get to work. Talking to some to Bea, it wasn't a great deal, Olivia didn't want to tell her how disappointed she was in Cecil and Bea. If they couldn't make it, there was no hope for rejects like Erik and herself.
Visiting Erik the day after that, she knocked on the door, taking a deep breath. This would be horrible. Cecil had warned her that the changes was happening, she would just need to wait and see.
If this had been a movie, the pair would make it work. There would be the cheesy "fuck it" and they would run away together. Ride off into the sunset or some shit. And how she envied those characters in movies and in books who had it so easy. Because they didn't have to deal with the pressures of everyday life and of the real world. Sure their stories sucked and they struggled but most the time they had happy endings or the reader knew it was coming sooner or later in the series if that were the case. But no, this was real life. Fantastic, grueling real life. Where stories were not set and happiness was a far cry.
The woman with the long red hair and grey eyes had to shake her head to get those thoughts out of her head. She had to regain her focus and to listen to what the man before her said. And as she did, it felt almost like the world was crashing down. Like her heart was breaking to shards. Never had she wanted to lose him or what they had had, but in a sense she could see he was right. It had all been silly and now it seemed they were paying for it.
[b "I...Is that what you really want, Cecil? The two of us are smart and I think we could figure something out...Or was this all doomed from the start?"] The words she spoke were much more broken then she intended. Hardly did she sound like her at the moment as she looked down to hide her eyes from the man.
He had waited too long. Had hidden too much. From her actions and her words all of that was clear. The man should have tried to tell her sooner and tried to offer proof. But he had not because he had thought there was nore time. Had not because he had been afraid of letting down his walls and of letting someone in and close to him again.
[b "Perhaps it would have been enough. The music and explaining that. But even I know it would not have been enough to make you believe. I had been wanting something to prove it fully. And I had been a coward."] The man was proud but even he was not above admitting his faults. And this was a huge fault he had.
When she said she was going to go, the man moved to her finally. Did he know what he was doing? At this rate he was taking it all as it came. [b "You're right. You do not know me aside from the music. But...there is still sometime and you may ask anything you wish to know. No more secrets and no more lies."] He said quietly, hand still on her arm as he had not even realized he had taken hold of it.
[i Wait till after I got to know you, and you got to know me.]
That line alone was scoff worthy, and she did make a small noise. Any need for biting remarks was replaced by just a tired feeling. God, she was just so [i tired] of everything. Of men, family, and trying to find this place she was supposed to belong. How she had ever thought her feet was on solid ground was a mystery to her.
"The sheet music would have been enough, you know," Olivia answered. Of course her believing completely would be a different story. She had remembered the music and wondering how the tone hand writing was exactly the same. "But you're wrong. I don't know anything about you...music, that's it..."
Rising she shook her head playing with the dress more, anxious to get out of it. "I'm going now," she announced. Unable to focus or deal with this situation anymore. Taking off the heels, she held them with one hand she held the drink with the other hands.
If this was a movie, there would be several scenarios that would be equally dramatic and exciting, before the audience realizes that this wasn't exciting at all but a quiet heartbreak. Someone would yell at the screen like 'scream' or 'go after the girl'. There would be something like that, easily.
In a moment he looked to her, seeing the heartbreak in those pretty eyes. Oh yes, go back and pretend until it was that crucial moment. It would be raining and she'd forget an umbrella and he'd chase after her.
Cecil shook his head, knowing his thoughts were going further than his own mind was. He gave her a small sigh, before grabbing a drink that was offered. In one quick movement he drank it, aside from the burning at the back of the throat there wasn't much help.
"I can see...several things...you know...us saying screw everything and living this happy, hippie life. But then I both know we'd regret those decisions. Duty is important to you so...I'd be an asshole to stand in that way," Cecil gave a small wry laugh. "Everything I see happening ends in some heart break, each one worse than before. Maybe we should just break it off now. Even long distance won't work for us, you'll be busy with this program and I'll need to pull extra long hours in the beginning."
It was strange coming out of his mouth. "We should break up," he finally said, in a voice that wasn't his own but it was.
[b "I knew that the mask was coming to its end, but I had believed there was still more time than this. I had intended to tell you but not before I got to know you and you got to know me. Tell me how you would have taken all of this had I told you it at the beginning? Would you have believed me? And then there had been the lack on proof and knowing something this big needed a lot to back it up. More than a tale, sheet music, and an old mask."] All of the man's words were quiet as he spoke them, pkercing blue eyes upon the young woman. He was too tired to argue or to try and find a way out of it. He had spent too much time hiding and now she knew the truth. What more was there.
[b "And you are not an idiot when it comes to your father. Anyone would want and hope for someone like him to change. It's natural to want to see the good in someone even when they cannot see it themselves."] Not the right thing to say, but it had come to mind. Again what point was there to hide?
The man slowly looked away and moved towards to the window in the room, staring out at the moon and the stars. He was waiting to see how she would take in all he had said. Hopefully there would be a small form of logic but if not could he blame her? He had kept it all and then dumped it on her.
She was feeling it as much as Cecil was. The tension and the strain. Not only was it from Olivia and Erik but they had been slowly falling into it as well. [b "They'll figure it out.. Maybe.."] The young woman said quietly as she took a drink from the table, taking a sip from it. Instantly she refretted sipping it because the alcohol burned her throat.
At Cecil's words Bea looked up, grey eyes locking on him. He had said it. What they both had been thinking. Their life up until this point had been a fairytale. Had been perfect. Too perfect in fact. Almost she had to see that the "romance novel" was coming to an end and real life would be settling in.
[b "Since it's out in the open.. What does that mean for us?"] It was all she could say as there was no room left to be in denial. No room left to pretend anymore
"It's starting to seem that everyone does stupid things, only think of those points when it's too late. Possibly even beyond fixing. Let's just hope it's not too late," Cecil said quietly, looking down towards the marble with faint interest. Looking to her, he wondered if she was feeling it as well. Licking his lips he grabbed a drink, taking it in just three gulps.
"There isn't a point in pretending, is there? Even if I do stay you'll work very hard at dance even if you don't like it, and school which you like. I'll be working in some museum basement here if I'm lucky. There probably wouldn't be any time for us. If I do go elsewhere, we'd try a long distance, end up in a miserable rut."
There didn't seem to be a reason to mince words. Their relationship had been ideals and romance, nothing realistic at all. It wasn't a wonderful realization.
"That man is old news. He's always done this, and somewhere I always say 'it will be different someday'. Then it doesn't and I feel myself build another layer around my heart. Jesus...I must be one of the biggest idiots out there..." Olivia gave a mirthless laugh before shaking her head. There was so many words that wanted to go around and fling around, but she bit her cheek.
Looking to him, she did notice his tiredness and there did seem to be a subtle difference. What if it was true? She sucked in a breath looking away, attempting to reign her in. Burning bridges wasn't what she wanted anymore.
"You could start with why you lied to me. Always words about later...that didn't happen," she started, her voice strained. "Of course, I should have found out more before even trying anything with you. Just a glutton for punishment and relieving my past...fuck me..."
Erik knew Olvia was usually one to try and mask her emotions. He also knew that she had quite the bite as well and when provoked it came.out. And it had appeared the one person he had hoped they would be able to avoid they had come face-to-face with when they had entered the lounge. He honestly had hoped that his words of not doing much had sunk in. But when he heard the sharpness and the words passed between father he could more than see how the man was like the scum of the earth. Even he had or would have liked a "word" with the man but was too tired for that.
When the man and the woman whom was a student of his and even younger than Olivia was gone, the man began to another table within the lounge that had some drinks but also sweets upon it. He could feel the eyes come back his way and hear the sharpness in her words. Cutting, which given everything as a whole, the man could not say shocked him.
[b "As in say something about what I have told you? Or say something about that cur of a man who happens to be your father?"] Erik asked her quietly as he had a cup in hand and turned back to her. He wanted to be very clear before he spoke, not quite wanting the same bite she had given her father but still thought it would come his way.
[b "Did he honestly think this was the best idea?"] The redhead muttered with a sigj as she walked with Cecil back down the hall and away from the lounge. She honestly was afraid how nasty it could get. Bea had seen Olivia go off only once before and had made it a point to not be the one to set her off if she could help it. [b "He's the Phantom...or was. I'm sure he'll live through that. Barely but he'll live."] The young woman was trying to make a slight joke of the matter.
It was when they were away from Erik and Olivia did her thoughts turn to hers and Cecil's problem. They did have to face them and they were starting to become like a ball and chain. No more like a ton of bricks with more being added. It really was sad because she had wanted to enjoy the night with the man she loved and their friends.
[b "Those look interesting.."] She said as the two were glancing around for drinks and she motioned to a far table.
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