[✧ I n t r o s p e c t i o n ]

/ By STARISH [+Watch]

Replies: 34 / 5 years 218 days 14 hours 27 minutes 31 seconds

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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 JOURNAL {12/01/2020}:

Goodbye Utah. I'm going to miss you. The mountains here were gorgeous. I made so many good friends. I can't wait to see you again.]]]
  [the CREATOR] / Glitch- / 262d 20h 55m 27s
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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 DREAM LOG {11/01/2020}:

I dreamt we were staying at my grandmother's place, and I was working on something to take to the beach with us. I went downstairs in the morning and asked if you knew where the sandpaper was, and your answer was "I'll get it for you, but you really need to start thinking and doing stuff for yourself."

I got angry and said "Fuck you, I'll find it myself." My grandfather was proud.

JOURNAL:

I didn't end up staying up all night like I wanted to. I think I crashed 4 episodes into YOU. It was like 5AM. I wanted to stay up longer but I guess I was too tired. I'm still tired. I can't wait for this emotional exhaustion to end. Today is my last day in Utah. I wonder if things will be different. ]]]
  [the CREATOR] / Glitch- / 263d 14h 14m 5s
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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 DREAM LOG {10/01/2020}:

I dreamt about staying at Sir J and Girl's place again. Rai was there and he put a collar around my neck and asked me to be their third and I was ecstatic. All I really remember is feeling overjoyed and my heart was racing.

JOURNAL:

I think being a switch is a good thing. I think I've been feeling less than submissive lately, and that's completely fine with me I guess. I think I'm in a weird headspace lately. I'm leaving Utah in 2 days, and I don't know if I'm ready, but I need to be.

My whole body aches lately. I can't wait to go home and sleep on my own bed, I think.

I can't stop thinking about "I wanted to play with my new toy, but still had to drive." Goodness. ]]]
  [the CREATOR] / Glitch- / 264d 14h 44m 28s
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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 I sort of feel like I'm at war with myself. I want to stay, and be the person I know you want me to be, to live my life and talk to people and be friendly and consistent, but it's hard to be consistent with a mind like mine. I'm all over the place, and hurtful without meaning to be, and too tired to function but too restless to sit still.

I either make myself sick or I feel better, and then I work that feeling so hard I get sick again. Calm is not a thing for me. Peace is not a thing for me. I'm getting tired of pulling my hair out in chunks when I wash it. I'm tired of being too tired to fall asleep. I'm not superman. I don't even think I'm human. Are humans so apathetic? It might not even be apathy. Just a void of emotion.

I want to do something but I don't have the attention span. ]]]
  [the CREATOR] / Joker- / 4y 8d 16h 3m 4s
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