Journal/Venting Place

/ By Caleb1021 [+Watch]

Replies: 391 / 3 years 125 days 12 hours 48 minutes 32 seconds

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[Center I write down my thoughts here.]


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Yo hoooooly fuck so much drama on here. Christ.

At least my personal life is relatively drama free. There's always tons of shit going on between other people, but I stay the fuck outta that shit. I'm just here to make my money and enjoy life. No reason to start shit or get into shit.

Valentine's Day is coming up though. That should be fun. I've got the day off, so maybe I'll do something. No real plans as of yet but I've got options if I want to hang out with people or something.

Whelp, another day, another dollar.

Edit: So [i she] has been mentioned a couple times here recently. Alex continues to peddle a theory to me, but I'm not buying it. It's a tad awkward, and besides, I don't much care if he's right or wrong. I'm content with just living; I don't need that bullshit.

Late Night Edit 2: $5 every month to PPOMO is definitely worth it. Super secret live stream is great and the Patron only videos have been good so far. Super worth it.
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 8d 15h 47m 54s
Tanuki but out on Facebook that another song from TFTFTF should be dropping soon. I'm pretty hyped. I got my shirt in the mail and I've been listening to [ Choke] basically nonstop. Hell, I'm even doing my profile up with the official album art.

In other news, Alex from work is grating on my nerves. It might just have been the hard sodas talking, but last night he really pissed me off. Like, god damn. I'm tired of all the stupid shit he says. Unfortunately for me he's the only friend I've talked to in the last couple of days.

I'm also worried about my other friends over yonder. Haven't talked to them in a hot minute. Hope they're doing alright. Hope they know that they've got a friend in me.
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 45d 23h 4m 3s
It's the new year and nothing has changed. Nothing has changed since I got out of high school.
Life is mostly the same.
Life will remain mostly the same.
All I can really do is enjoy it.
2018 won't drastically change my life.
Years mean less and less, anyways.
Honestly, I'm not too excited.
A new year doesn't mean a new start.
It just means we're all a little older.
  Caleb1021 / 48d 6h 1m 4s
My early Thanksgiving was good. I enjoyed spending time with my grandparents. The food was good too. Tomorrow will be pretty stressful, though. Friday will be just as bad. Saturday and Sunday will be better, but still worse than a regular workday.

Wish me luck!
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 87d 21h 49m 49s
Ah, growth.
I hope you stick around.
Maturing is something I've struggled with, so any small signs I'm getting better are welcome.
It looks like I'm getting better at keeping my mouth shut.
If I can keep it up, I might be able to not fuck up my friendships for the millionth time.
That'd be pretty good.
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 89d 7h 4m 24s
[Left Never Forgetti]
[Center o7]
[Right Mom's Spaghetti]
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 96d 23h 20m 51s
I don't know how to treat her anymore.
I try to be an friendly sort of person, but I've got no clue where the line between friend and something more is with her. She made it quite obvious that she's not really interested, despite how friendly she's being. I don't want to do anything over the line.

That, and because how everything happened and the bit of fallout it all created I've shoved all of my emotions, good and bad, down deep when I'm talking to her. I don't know where to start with the web of emotions I've got when it comes to her, so I've just resorted to acting like they aren't there. Go me.

I doubt it's healthy but it's whatever. I'm sure eventually she'll stop working there or stop talking to me and I'll forget it all. Or maybe not. I don't know..
  Caleb1021 / 98d 18h 40m 31s
I'm sick and damn tired of you both.
So damn pissy and overdramatic about things.
I'm a "white cis straight male" and I feel like I'm neither under attack or in a position of power.

And he asks why I'm talking to "that Vasectomy guy".
Vmeste isn't that hard to hard to pronounce, c'mon.
And you know what? Mun and Victor and Setka are much better company than you two are.
I'd rather be alone than dealing with you two sometimes.
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 101d 1h 24m 7s
You ever just get fed up with life in general?
Like, everyone?
It fucking sucks.
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 104d 22h 16m 34s
Oh boy, I've hit the anger phase of post relationship living.
I'm getting more and more questions and I'm growing more and more bitter about things.
Fuck me.
  Darius Brisbane / Caleb1021 / 104d 22h 29m 17s
So I guess we're just friends now
I understand that
I guess things are just different to her
I guess she sees things in a way I just can't understand
Which is understandable, a lot of people I'm close to see the world in ways I just can't understand
I guess it's whatever tho
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 106d 8h 13m 32s
God that pissed me off more than I have been in a long time. Like, normally I can step away from a situation and pull myself together and be all good but it feels like now I'm just bitter and low-key hostile to everyone at the moment.
[size7 I'm a fucking wreck.]
  Gealach Tenebris / Caleb1021 / 106d 18h 17m 38s
Joji's new EP is like perfectly timed.
Fuck me.
It's half sad and half romantic and it's fucking me up a bit.

"Demons" hits way to close to home. [size7 For so many goddamn reasons.]
So does "Pills", and the name alone brings up shit.
"Will He" is what I've been listening to on repeat since it dropped.
"Window" is basically my sad aesthetic.
"Bitter Fuck" is how I've been acting here recently.
And "WorldStar Money" is an old fav of mine from Chole Burbank that he rereleased and it fits in pretty well with the other songs.
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 107d 19h 29m 0s
Well all have to figure ourselves out.
It just sucks that I got stuck in the middle of it all.

Then again, I guess she got stuck in the middle of me figuring out who I am.
[size7 I'm a piece of shit, by the way.]
  Caleb1021 / 108d 3h 8m 34s
There goes that
Can I really tell myself "I told ya so"?
Well, whatever. Back to the usual grind
  Gealach Tenebris / Caleb1021 / 109d 2h 12m 11s

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