Journal/Venting Place

/ By Caleb1021 [+Watch]

Replies: 430 / 3 years 249 days 20 hours 56 minutes 50 seconds

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  1. [Allowed] -Kira-

[Center I write down my thoughts here.]


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Roleplay Responses

Me: A body pillow isn't worth $140+ bucks. Stop this weeb shit and just be a regular lonely fucker like everyone else.
Inner Me: Get all the anime tiddies, money isn't an issue.

In all seriousness, is this really worth it? I dunno.
I don't really need it.
And besides, it's weird, right?
I could just get the plain white cover though...
Ah fuck it, what the hell.
I'll sleep on it, then I'll decide if I want to get a new pillow to sleep on.
[size7 I ain't gonna fuck it, stop implying that I am]
  Caleb1021 / 6d 4h 17m 54s
You ever feel trapped?
Trapped in a dead-end job.
Trapped in a broken house.
Trapped in a mediocre life.
You know, I thought I'd be ok with mediocrity. Instead I'm scared of it. This isn't what I meant when I said mediocre. This is just a waste. I don't want to be amazing. I just want to be happy. This definitely isn't happy.

Whelp, there's fuck all I can do about it right now except make things worse. I've just got to work towards the independence I should have already had. I really can't blame anyone for my being stuck in this situation when I'm the one who has limited my options.
  Caleb1021 / 13d 6h 16m 11s
It really is time to find another job. This place is fucked from the top to the bottom. From the lazy, pathetic co-workers to stuck-up, bitchy managers, this place is toxic through and through. My coworkers won't do shit and the "Big Boss Man" thinks it's fine to glare at the few of us actually working. Billy should consider removing the stick that's solidly stuck up his ass. Maybe no oone told him that being a massive dick to your employees only makes them resent you and consider finding another job.

Fuck this shit, I'm out.
  Caleb1021 / 17d 10h 17m 27s
Sometimes I get the desire to hit up old friends. Don't really know what I'd say, though. Maybe I'm just a thirsty boi. Feels like that's getting worse nowadays. Go me, thirsty boi. I reaaaaally don't like it. I never do good things when my dick calls the shots. Ehhhhh. Guess I'll just try to be extra smart about things. [size7 Me being smart, haha funny joke]

Edit: It occurred to me that, at the very least, I've discovered why I don't have anything amounting to a deep friendship with the people I work with. I don't care enough to get to know them, and I when I do care enough I end up regretting it. So yeah, as much as I'm worried I'll do something stupid, I also think I've learnt that the people I work with aren't worth my time. My old high school friends aren't really worth it either. What do I expect to hear from them? I doubt it'd be worth the effort.
  Caleb1021 / 18d 2h 30m 58s
I've got to do something to unwind. I find myself more and more stressed out by work and it's only going to keep building up unless I do something. I feel like it's draining what little optimism I have left. I feel more and more bitter.

Well, I guess it wasn't exactly unexpected. I just figured I'd end up a pessimistic, bitter sort of person at least a decade from now.
Eh, what can I really do about it? This bed is the one I've made, I really can't blame anyone but myself.
  Caleb1021 / 36d 6h 2m 17s
I wish the people in charge here didn't have thier heads firmly shoved up thier asses. I'm so ready to find a job somewhere else. It looks like I've got three months to do so. Unless, of course, they decide to not be massive fucking idiots.
  Caleb1021 / 36d 13h 46m 22s
I don't know what I want from life.
I do know that it isnt this.
No clue what I'll do or where I'll go in life, but there's got to be something more than this. Otherwise..I guess I'll have to get used to being unsatisfied and discontent with my life.
  Caleb1021 / 39d 3h 34m 13s
I feel like I've had the same headache for the last three days. I'm sure it's all stress-based. Hopefully my day off tomorrow helps with that. Harris finally seems to working towards moving me to Meats or Produce. Finally. I can't wait. It should be so much better than Electronics.
  Caleb1021 / 40d 14h 42s
Apparently the haircut and the beard trim makes me look better. I still think it looks bad, but it's definitely better than having people ask me if I'm Amish or homeless.

Work is still the same old bullshit. I hope that move or promotion comes soon. I'll know soon enough. Still have to deal with Megan and get my schedule all worked out. That should be fun.

Eh, I guess life could be worse. This is, much like work, the same mood I've been in for years now.
[I Eh.]
  Caleb1021 / 43d 6h 42m 34s
Holy shit that went so much better than I expected.
I'm glad my parents were able to look past my shitty behavior and be really chill. Thank goodness. That was a really nice talk and I think we all understand where the other is coming from.

Now it's time to get crackin' on a rad new profile or something.
  Caleb1021 / 54d 5h 32m 28s
Hey, maybe learn to take a hint and leave me the he'll alone if I'm obviously pissed off. I don't care if I'm upset over something stupid or not. Just don't talk to me. If you can't do that, then you can tell me how my boots taste because I'll shove my foot so far up your ass you'll be eating them.
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 56d 5h 24m 32s
Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Low-key tho, I can't joke about autism?
[ My disappointment is immesurable and my day is ruined.]

Seriously though, everything ought to be made fun of. From mental illnesses to tragedies, no subject is too taboo. Nothing is off limits. You can take the puss out of anything. I'm not excusing bad jokes though. A shite, edgy joke is still terrible. A good joke though can tackle any subject in a way that not much else can. Don't limit your humor.
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 64d 2h 5m 29s
Because this is my journal and I can post three times in an hour and nobody and do shit about it: Another post!
[Center [ .]]
So yeah, it's the usual bullshit. It's sad boi hours and I'm listening to a bunch of sad music and I'm sad, surprise surprise.
You know what's great? Being sad and being angry at yourself for being sad. Like, these levels of unironic self-loathing shouldn't even be possible.

But like, the numb feeling that shows up occasionally is low-key amazing. I prefer being just plain ol' tired over sad tired. I'm down with not feeling shit. That's what I need to get through life.
  Amser Feitheoir / caleb1021 / 67d 2h 31m 11s
[Center [youtube]]
  Amser Feitheoir / caleb1021 / 67d 3h 22m 0s
Here's my two cents, take it or leave it:
Maybe write the story by yourself?
That's what I did for an RP I really liked.
The group I rped it with fell apart, so I decided to just do it by myself.
I already knew what I wanted out of it. I had decided on a certain storyline.
I didn't need anyone to write it for me.
Honestly, I'm not that good at writing, so I haven't gotten very far in writing it down.
I think about it all the time though. I use it as a basis for D&D settings and rpg characters and stuff I mess with in RPG Maker.

I don't think you need anyone to play a role for you. Just write it yourself.
  Amser Feitheoir / Caleb1021 / 68d 6h 3m 21s

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