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What's a guy gotta do to not be lonely and sad around here?
All I do is still around and do nothing, and I don't really have the means to easily change that.
So I guess I'll just sit around and drink until something changes.
I doubt anything will actually happen, though.
You make me look not as fucking bad.
At least I've moved on.
At least I've grown up.
At least I've tried to accept my mistakes and learn from them.
Instead you just fucking double down on the douchebaggery
Friend: [I Says something a lil' crazy] Oof my anxiety is fucking me up
Me: [I Says something crazy] Oh god why am I like this?
You ever get that in that mood where you really just don't care about things anymore? 'Cause that's where I'm at right now. I just don't really give a damn. Like, look me in the eye and ask me if I give a damn about what you have to say. I don't care what's going on in your life. I don't care how you're feeling. I don't care what you think.
[size7 I blame Mun, tbh.]
I think it's just all the bullshit that I'm seeing.
So many stupid people think they're sooo special and honestly I really don't care. People are replaceable. Jobs are replaceable. Friends are replaceable.
[size7 Except for the really good ones.]
Fuck these over-dramatic pieces of shit.
Fuck the judgemental dirtbags too.
Fuck 'em all.
I don't have time for your bullshit.
"Caleb, why are you being so rude? Don't be a dick!"
Fuck you. If I'm being rude, it's 'cause your bitch ass deserves it.
Also, don't think I'll be giving you any sympathy.
We all got struggles, we all got problems, we all go through shit.
Deal with it and don't try to put that shit on my plate. I ain't dealing with it.
[size7 Unless we're close, then I'm here for you.]
Me: A body pillow isn't worth $140+ bucks. Stop this weeb shit and just be a regular lonely fucker like everyone else.
Inner Me: Get all the anime tiddies, money isn't an issue.
In all seriousness, is this really worth it? I dunno.
I don't really need it.
And besides, it's weird, right?
I could just get the plain white cover though...
Ah fuck it, what the hell.
I'll sleep on it, then I'll decide if I want to get a new pillow to sleep on.
[size7 I ain't gonna fuck it, stop implying that I am]
You ever feel trapped?
Trapped in a dead-end job.
Trapped in a broken house.
Trapped in a mediocre life.
You know, I thought I'd be ok with mediocrity. Instead I'm scared of it. This isn't what I meant when I said mediocre. This is just a waste. I don't want to be amazing. I just want to be happy. This definitely isn't happy.
Whelp, there's fuck all I can do about it right now except make things worse. I've just got to work towards the independence I should have already had. I really can't blame anyone for my being stuck in this situation when I'm the one who has limited my options.
It really is time to find another job. This place is fucked from the top to the bottom. From the lazy, pathetic co-workers to stuck-up, bitchy managers, this place is toxic through and through. My coworkers won't do shit and the "Big Boss Man" thinks it's fine to glare at the few of us actually working. Billy should consider removing the stick that's solidly stuck up his ass. Maybe no oone told him that being a massive dick to your employees only makes them resent you and consider finding another job.
Fuck this shit, I'm out.
Sometimes I get the desire to hit up old friends. Don't really know what I'd say, though. Maybe I'm just a thirsty boi. Feels like that's getting worse nowadays. Go me, thirsty boi. I reaaaaally don't like it. I never do good things when my dick calls the shots. Ehhhhh. Guess I'll just try to be extra smart about things. [size7 Me being smart, haha funny joke]
Edit: It occurred to me that, at the very least, I've discovered why I don't have anything amounting to a deep friendship with the people I work with. I don't care enough to get to know them, and I when I do care enough I end up regretting it. So yeah, as much as I'm worried I'll do something stupid, I also think I've learnt that the people I work with aren't worth my time. My old high school friends aren't really worth it either. What do I expect to hear from them? I doubt it'd be worth the effort.
I've got to do something to unwind. I find myself more and more stressed out by work and it's only going to keep building up unless I do something. I feel like it's draining what little optimism I have left. I feel more and more bitter.
Well, I guess it wasn't exactly unexpected. I just figured I'd end up a pessimistic, bitter sort of person at least a decade from now.
Eh, what can I really do about it? This bed is the one I've made, I really can't blame anyone but myself.
I wish the people in charge here didn't have thier heads firmly shoved up thier asses. I'm so ready to find a job somewhere else. It looks like I've got three months to do so. Unless, of course, they decide to not be massive fucking idiots.
I don't know what I want from life.
I do know that it isnt this.
No clue what I'll do or where I'll go in life, but there's got to be something more than this. Otherwise..I guess I'll have to get used to being unsatisfied and discontent with my life.
I feel like I've had the same headache for the last three days. I'm sure it's all stress-based. Hopefully my day off tomorrow helps with that. Harris finally seems to working towards moving me to Meats or Produce. Finally. I can't wait. It should be so much better than Electronics.
Apparently the haircut and the beard trim makes me look better. I still think it looks bad, but it's definitely better than having people ask me if I'm Amish or homeless.
Work is still the same old bullshit. I hope that move or promotion comes soon. I'll know soon enough. Still have to deal with Megan and get my schedule all worked out. That should be fun.
Eh, I guess life could be worse. This is, much like work, the same mood I've been in for years now.
Holy shit that went so much better than I expected.
I'm glad my parents were able to look past my shitty behavior and be really chill. Thank goodness. That was a really nice talk and I think we all understand where the other is coming from.
Now it's time to get crackin' on a rad new profile or something.
Hey, maybe learn to take a hint and leave me the he'll alone if I'm obviously pissed off. I don't care if I'm upset over something stupid or not. Just don't talk to me. If you can't do that, then you can tell me how my boots taste because I'll shove my foot so far up your ass you'll be eating them.
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