A Fallen Angel [Journal]

/ By FallynAngel [+Watch]

Replies: 27 / 4 years 243 days 16 hours 19 minutes 21 seconds

Allowed Users

  1. [Allowed] KarutaXWatanuki
  2. [Allowed] WatanukiXKaruta
  3. [Queued] Knight-



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Roleplay Responses

[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/gyF0d6l.gif]]

[center [size10 [+hotpink Stop being so silly.
Seriously.

I’m not in this for money.
You don’t need to pay me back for anything.
My money was not wasted at all.
It was put to good use.

I’m not in this for money.
Or even some sort of prize.

Let’s be honest here.
The real prize is you.

No I didn’t have to play a game with you.
That’s not what I mean.
I mean that you’re one in a billion.
And I’m so freaking lucky to have you in my life.
Not just as my best friend, but as my lover.
My other half.

I’m in a state of bliss.
As of late.
I feel like I was worrying over nothing before.
I will probably always worry.
But not as much as I have been.

I was worrying so much before, that I was having mini panic attacks.
That’s not good for anyone.
I know you worry.
And I appreciate it.

But no need to worry anymore.
I’m literally feeling so much better now.
Having taken some time to truly think about a lot of things.
And lots of reassurance from you.
I’m feeling 75% better.

Not 100%, but pretty close.
And that counts.
I still have my moments.
But I’m going to be more trusting.

Of course, I want to be with you forever.
I’m in this for the long haul.
I’m not looking back or giving up.
As you are doing the same for me,

I’m sorry if I pushed you.
I didn’t mean to.
I love you so much.

I feel like the luckiest girl right now.
So very lucky to have a guy who cares and loves me.
Not only me really.
But even my daughter.

You’re truly amazing and I couldn’t ask for better.
I mean everything I say.
I promise you that.]]]

[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/1cWPMKF.gif]]
  FallynAngel / 46d 10h 12s
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/aF8b3Wj.gif]]

[center [size10 [+hotpink You ever just love someone so much?
That you literally can’t get them off your mind?
That you can’t eat, can’t sleep, feeling over the moon kind of love?

I guess that’s how I’m feeling lately.
I love someone so much.
I’m not sure what the future holds for us.
But I’m not gonna give up.

You told me to hold your hand.
So I’m gonna hold your hands.

You told me to trust you.
So I’m gonna trust you.

I’m giving my all to you.
Like you are for me.

I’m in love with you, you big lug.
I hope you know that.
I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.

You’re really something else.
Ya know?
In a good way silly.

Like when I talk to you, it’s like time stands still.
I feel like I’m on a cloud.
Cause you make Heaven our place on Earth.

You’re amazing!
Always so understanding.
Always there for me.
Putting me before anything.

I am so lucky to have you.
God gave me you for the ups and downs.
God gave me you for the days of doubt.
For when I think I've lost my way, there are no words here left to say, it's true.
God gave me you.

I’m blessed.
Truly blessed.]]]
  FallynAngel / 47d 5h 38m 4s
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/UogEqXK.jpg]]

[center [size10 [+hotpink August 20th to August 26th.
Those days will live with me forever.
Seriously though.
I can’t begin to explain how I feel right now.
Elated, that’s a good word to use.
Excited for the future.
I could even say that.
Above it all I feel pure happiness.

I’m really bad at keeping things in lately.
When I feel something I just go for it.
I suppose that is the Disney Princess in me escaping.
I probably sound crazy with all of this.
No pure explanation.

So August 20th of 2018, let’s start there.
I went to the airport, nervous as heck, to pick up this really cute guy I know.
I think it went well.
I picked him up and brought him to my house to stay for the week.


We spent a wonderful week together.
I’m hoping to spend more days together as well.
I am in love with Christopher.
I’m not afraid to say that.
I put four long years into him and I’m not giving up.

I guess that sounds crazy.
To be in love with a guy who has denied me for so long.
I guess you can’t help who you love.
He can deny me all he wants.
If he wants.
We shall see.

[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/SKDg0cd.jpg]]

But I miss him now.
He left August 26th, 2018.
Seven long days we spent together.
Seven days of emotions.
Seven days of love and passion.
Seven days I would not change for the world.

He held me in his arms.
Made me feel safe.
Loved.
Cared for.
I owe him so much.
It was perfect.
Amazingly perfect.

Yes, I did cry.
Lots of tears were shed.
Because I have insecurities.
A lot of them.
But he made me feel like it was okay to feel how I felt.
That I had every right to feel how I felt.

He was amazing.
That’s all I can say.

Any time I cried, he wiped my tears away.
Any time I smiled and laughed it was because of him.
He made my heart flutter.
Pure happiness was felt.
Still felt now.

I’m just head over heels.
Of course we have our issues, but who doesn’t.
I’ll take him no matter what.
I know he’s broken, but I love him and want to support him.
Through everything.

[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/VM74n7r.jpg]]

Did I mention he’s a great dad to my daughter?
Yes, I have a daughter.
And she isn’t his.
But he treats her like she is his.
He gives her so much love.

I am so lucky to have found him.
My daughter and I are so lucky to have found him.
To have him in our lives is a blessing.

God works in mysterious ways.
God has been watching out for me.
I just know that we are meant to be.

So I am in a good place in my life.
Mentally and emotionally.
Which rarely happens for me.

But to the point, I love Christopher.
So much.
I guess we’re not officially together but I wanna be.
I’d do anything for him.
He’s perfect in my eyes.
Just an amazing person.

I don’t deserve him in my life really.
I really don’t.
But there he is.
Supporting me.
Understanding me.
Putting me on this pedestal that I don’t belong on.

He loves me for me.
And all my flaws and craziness.
He just loves me.
No expectations other than to love him back.
He’s my best friend and I love him so much.
I can’t help my feelings.

I wish I could convey my feelings better than this, but my computer is out of commission for awhile.
So mobile is the only way I can go about this.
Hopefully this wasn’t too bad X3]]]
  FallynAngel / 78d 12h 53m 33s
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/rv2x7Ze.gif]]

[center [size10 [+hotpink I suppose this end is bittersweet. Maybe. I'm not sure how to truly look at it really. On one hand, I'm feeling okay. No real anger is boiling inside me. Just some hurt and a bit upset is inside of me.

I understand what you're saying but I'm not sure how to feel. Indifferent is a good way to put it. I was happy about last night. But then this afternoon it all went down. Like I said, I understand what you're saying.

Just because I understand doesn't mean I agree with what you say. Relationships are supposed to be about growing together. That's the best part. Starting at the bottom together and working our way to the top. Seeing our bad sides and working through them.

Been watching Hallmark movies so much lately. I'm becoming a softy. I'm not sure how to feel about being soft. I want to be soft, but I also want to be a bit tough. I don't want to let my guard down sometimes. Getting hurt is not fun.

Hurt is how I'm feeling though. I let my guard down. I guess I always do with you. You're my weakness and I got hurt. I knew I would get hurt in the end, but I guess I trusted your words. And I know why I got hurt and I'm not mad at you. I'm just hurt because, well, you can't help who you fall in love with. I'm not upset that I let you in either. On the contrary, I'm quite alright with letting you in over and over.

Maybe that's toxic or maybe not. But I'm okay with that because I don't find you toxic. You make me want to be a better person. Which is what you're supposed to do in a relationship. I don't make you want to be a better person, or maybe I do, you've never told me.

One day maybe. Who knows what the future holds. I know, even though you say not to wait because the future is unclear, but I'm probably going to wait. Be foolish and wait.

On another note, hopefully buying tickets to see [i Be More Chill] soon. Going in September with my friend and I'm super excited about it. Like super excited.

I want to go to an upper part of the state in October just to see Rocky Horror Picture Show Experience. I've always wanted to. So I am putting it on my bucket list of things to do.

Hopefully starting my classes back up soon. Just have to talk to my advisors. Can't wait to have my degree finally.

I have to start doing things better for myself. I just need to. Like getting my license. Losing weight again. The things I really want to do. Nothing toxic. Only positivity. That's my goal for the summer.

I think that is all on my mind right now.]]]
  FallynAngel / 152d 8h 35m 50s
[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/ar3a05m.gif]]

[center [size10 [+hotpink Sooo... I got my haircut today. I’m actually super happy with the outcome of it too. I got it trimmed all around and I have swoopy bangs. It’s perfect actually. Eventually, I’m going to end up dying my hair a completely different color than what I normally do.

Normally, I dye my hair with henna hair dye. I do wine red. Only because when I do it, it comes out like Ariel red. Which is exactly what I want. But, next time I’m dying it rainbow. I saw a few different styles of rainbow hair I liked, but I think I’m just going to go full rainbow.

Of course I have to let the henna dye come out first, that’s a must. And I know it will be a big process. I’m prepared for it though. Granted I won’t be doing it till around my birthday. If not then, maybe for Christmas. Depends on my hair really. I just want something to treat myself too. That’s all. A treat for having made it through another year.

I’m already planning on going to see Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them 2: The Crimes Of Grindlewald for my birthday with my friend. So that will be a treat, too. I’m super excited about it too.

This summer is fast approaching. I’m excited for it too. I want to do so much. I want to start walking more and getting back to my school work. I wanna finally finish school and start losing weight. I don’t have much longer for school. Like three more classes really. Not that hard.

Each class is five weeks long. So that’s fifteen weeks. Which isn’t that bad when you think about it. So it won’t be long till I’m done. I’m excited to finally have my degree in school. Then I could probably leave the job I’m at and work somewhere else and get paid more. It’s exciting to think about.

I’m also working on my license as well. I wanna get that within the month. Super nervous about that actually. But I can do it. I’ve been practicing here and there with my dad. It’s really sad that I am 28 years old and can’t drive. But soon I will. I’ve already driven to a couple places with my dad in the car. I’m still alive. Just have to practice parking and more confidence.

I wanna go to the beach this summer, with my daughter and just have fun. I can’t wait to visit Maine again this summer. I’m excited. It was beautiful there. I want to have an awesome summer. My friend is visiting in August. Can’t wait for that.

I’m going to see ‘Love Never Dies’ next weekend with my best friend. It’s a sequel to ‘Phantom Of The Opera’. I’m super excited to see it. In August, we’re going to see ‘The Little Mermaid’ movie, even though it’s nothing like the cartoon. In September we’re going to see ‘Be More Chill’ in New York. I’m extremely excited for that one.

I might go to this theater a few towns away for Rocky Horror Picture Show in October. I’ve never done the live viewing, so I’m excited to try it. I’m trying to see if a few friends will want to go.

I became friends with my ex’s ex. So that’s interesting. She’s nice but I feel like she doesn’t trust me. That’s to be expected cause I was a real witch to her. I’m older and I should have known better. I want her to come to the Rocky Horror Picture Show with me a few friends. I think it would be fun.

That’s all for now, I think.]]]
  FallynAngel / 170d 3h 46m 29s
[center [pic http://media.tumblr.com/6d88dc6b72cb14a2fe1ac341eee774c9/tumblr_inline_na3o4vKPdp1ssvy8m.gif]]

[center [size10 [+orchid Life has been taking some twists and turns throughout these past few days. Do I regret how things have been going? Yeah, I do. But I cannot change the past no matter how much I truly want to. I'm not a timelord though.

What else can I say now? I'm scared but happy. We've been together five months now and I am happy about that. Some days are harder than others, but I have to try. Try hard for him. For our love.

I love him more than anything in the world. In a few weeks, he will be here. For my belated birthday gift. I love him more than anything in the world.

A couple months ago he asked me to run away with him. I said no then. I regret it everyday. So much regret. He could have made me so much more happier than I am now. Not so say I am not happy. Cause I am so happy. But I know if I was there with him we would be so much happier. No fighting. Nothing of the sort. I know that.

I regret it everyday more and more. I should have packed my things and left without a goodbye to anyone. I have nothing here now. Everyone has stopped caring about me. He is my everything and I should have given him everything.

We made it though. Five months today. Five months together. Lots of ups and downs. But unconditional love is about putting up with one another and fighting for each other. We love each other. He always comes back. I know he does.

He was almost gone. But he stayed. He stayed and made me so happy. The happiest I have ever been. He may not think it but he is the most amazing boyfriend I have ever had. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have him. Out of all the girls in the world that he could have, he chose me. [i Me.] I still can't believe it myself.

We talked this morning and he told me I was being really cute. I was being myself. He started to fanboy over me. It was the most kawaii thing in the world. He told me I sounded like an anime girl the way I was laughing and talking. I was just so happy, I couldn't help but talk that way.

He knows how to compliment me so well and be there for me through everything. He means the world to me and I could never lose him. Please God let him stay in my life for forever and a day. Please.]]]

[right [size10 [+mediumvioletred ~Blushing Beauty~]]]
  FallynAngel / 4y 2d 16h 57m 47s
[center [pic http://i7.glitter-graphics.org/pub/2650/2650047vi0t7za8jl.gif]]

[center [size10 [+fuchsia Sooooo.... There is about 15 days until my birthday. I cannot wait for it. I honestly cannot wait. My boyfriend has been super nice to me lately too. It is hard to imagine my life without him in it. To be quite honest.

I know, I know. I can be a pain in the butt sometimes, but I love him to death. He is getting me THE BEST GIFT EVER! He is coming to visit me as my birthday present.

You see, he got a job so that he can come and visit me and help me save up to go and live with him soonish. He is the best guy ever. He really is the light of my life. The reason to live and breathe. He is even a great father figure to my daughter. Always giving her kisses and playing around with her.

I love my boyfriend, or should I say my fiancé. I cannot help my feelings for him. Him and I fight, and when I say fight, I mean more on the verbal side and to the point where we almost break up. I suppose it is something I deserve. I do start a lot of the fights. I do not mean to though.

I love him so much. I cannot put into words the feelings that I have for him out on paper or a screen. I would be here for days and I am sure no one wants to listen to me drone on and on about him for days.

I am just in a really good mood, even if my birthday present will be a bit after my birthday, it will still be the best birthday present I will ever have gotten from any boyfriend, current and past.

To be honest, it will most likely be the first gift I have gotten from a boyfriend, past and current. I am absolutely excited about it. I already have the perfect outfit to wear.]]]

[right [size10 [+hotpink ~ Ecstasy ~]]]
  FallynAngel / 4y 2d 16h 58m 21s
[center [pic http://data3.whicdn.com/images/44202031/large.gif]]

[center [size12 [b [+blue Keeping this here:]]]]

[center [size10 [b [i She smiles and then turns around and faces him, still smiling at him.]]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "Each day I'm loving you, more and more."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "Listen to your heart, can you hear it sing?"]]]
[center [size10 [+pink Nothing can ever take me away from you. What we have is special. Not only to me, but in general. I'm never going to leave you like the rest did. You make me wanna be a better person, as well as a better girlfriend to you.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "Even if the skies get rough..."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "Even the stars, they burn..."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "God knows we're worth it."]]]
[center [size10 [+pink There is so much out there for you and I to discover. To discover together. Destiny brought us together. God knows that we are supposed to be together. Remember? I told you, I hesitated to join your chat. It was on my watch list for 24 hours. I finally posted. It was fate when I did. It brought us together.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "Let's run away and don't look back."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "My heart stops when you look at me."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "This is real."]]]
[center [size10 [+pink This is real. It has to be real. Your touch. Your kisses. Your warmth. Your safety. It all means so much to me. More than you can ever know. Laying on your chest, being held in your arms. It was pure ecstasy. I do not know where to begin and I do not want to end. It all felt so right. So perfect. Two un-perfect people. It was just perfect.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "The girl that never wins..."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "Never made it as head cheerleader."]]]
[center [size10 [+pink Remember this song? This was the song you said reminded you of me. Of me. A song reminded you of me. After everything we had been through. Hearing about her constantly. This song, an underdog song. It meant the world to me to know you even think of me at all.]]]
[center [size10 [b [i She kisses his cheek sweetly.]]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "One step closer."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "Time has brought your heart to me"]]]
[center [size10 [+pink I feel like I was born to love you and only you. All the others were just practice to finding you. I made mistakes and took wrong turns, but I found my way to you. We both found our way to one another. Fate has a design for us. I just know this has to be true. I feel that it has to be true.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "I wanna hold your hand."]]]
[center [size10 [b [i She takes his hand and holds onto it tightly with both of her small hands.]]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you."]]]
[center [size10 [+pink I don't think, I know I wanna marry you and spend the rest of my life in your arms. Feeling your kissing against my sweet lips. This is a no brainer for me.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "You make me wanna act like a girl."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "You make me glow"]]]
[center [size10 [+pink If only you knew how I truly felt about you. I love you, I do. I care about you too. So much. Yes, I get hurt and get jealous and cry, A LOT, but I do love you. I get upset, but my love never dwindles. In fact, it keeps growing, no matter what bad thing you do. I still have you in my life. I smile, even when you think I am so sad. You give me attention and it brightens my day. You shush me and sing to me. It's like an angel has come to my rescue. I swear all of this is true.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be."]]]
[center [size10 [b [i She kisses his hand gently and holds it close to her heart.]]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "In your arms, I can still feel the way you want me."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "There ain't no way, I'm letting you go now."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "I'm keeping you forever and for always."]]]
[center [size10 [+pink I don't want to lose you and all that we have. I could never imagine my life without you in it. No matter what fight we get into, I still need you in my life. I still need you here. I just need you and your love. It means the world to me. You mean the world to me.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "A day without you is like a year without rain."]]]
[center [size10 [b [i She reaches one hand up to his face and caresses his cheek, her other hand still holding his hand to her heart. A smile crosses her lips.]]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "I wish I was beside you."]]]
[center [size10 [+pink All I want in this world is you. I am working my butt off so I can be with you. I am doing everything I can to run away with you. I want us to be stable. To be able to do things we never could have imagined. I really do.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "You are the thunder and I am the lightening."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "When you look in my eyes, it takes my breath away.]]]
[center [size10 [+pink I'll never forget the day we met face to face, outside of the computer screen. You walked up the stairs and pushed Brandon and your mom out of the way. You hugged me so tight. That was the first the you did. I was in shock and surprised and nervous, all at once. My heart jumped when you hugged me. The hug, though awkward, felt real and felt sweet and loving.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "You're the glitter in the darkness of my world."]]]
[center [size10 [+pink If only you knew the pain that you decrease for me. The joy you bring in my life. All that you truly do for me. It seems like you do nothing, but you do a lot more than I let you think. You make everything go away with your sweet words. You make everything feel better with your singing. I've grown so attached to all of your parts. Good and bad. Nothing could make me love you less.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "My whole heart, will be yours forever."]]]
[center [size10 [b [i She grabs his other hand and puts it to her heart with a smile. Tears begin to form in her eyes, happy tears.]]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "You're the pulse that I've always needed."]]]
[center [size10 [+pink You feel that? That is what you do to my heart. You make it race to no end. My love for you is boundless and unconditional. You have shown me how to truly love someone no matter what. You've taught me new things and I love you for that.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "Baby even on our worst nights, I'm still into you."]]][center [size10 [+deeppink "Not a day goes by that I'm not into you."]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "When we're together it feels so right."]]]
[center [size10 [+pink Unconditional love was not something I had ever truly heard of or even considered a real thing. Only for the movies, I thought. Not for real people. Not for the real world. It didn't exist until you showed it to me. Until you showed me how to love that way.]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "I swear that I can see forever in your eyes."]]]
[center [size10 [b [i She takes his hands in hers and holds them between the two of them. His hands now off of her heart. She smiles as she looks up at him. A small sigh escapes her lips, as a tear drop falls down her face. A smile still across her lips.]]]]
[center [size10 [+deeppink "I will always love you."]]]
[center [size10 [+pink You are good enough for someone. I could never give you up and I don't want to. I always have and I always will fight for you. You are a great boyfriend, even if I don't show you that enough. You took me on a date, no guy can ever say that. You were a true gentleman, not a player. You love me for me. You don't want to change me. You want to help me. You know my potential and you want to be there by my side through it all.]]]
  FallynAngel / 4y 44d 7h 32m 58s
[center [pic http://i.imgur.com/9h9xKja.gif]]
[center [size10 [+pink Keeping this here for now...]]]
[center [size10 [i She walked up to him, her head down and tears streaming down her face.]]]
[center [size10 I love you Karuta, I really do. But lately, you've changed. You used to strive for me attention. Beg me to comfort you, even when I did not know what to do. Beg for my attention when I was busy on the computer. Now you have my attention and I do not have yours. I get it, it's not fun. I wish this cruel joke would end.]]
[center [size10 [i She cries more, shaking a bit now.]]
[center [size10 Karuta, you are sweet, charming, beautifully handsome, funny, caring, kind, generous, strong(physically) and very bright. You are like no one I have ever met and I love you for that. You are uniquely you. I would never want to change you. At least your personality and looks.]]
[center [size10 Loving unconditionally is giving your heart to someone freely and without any limitations. When you give someone your heart, you trust them not to break it. You trust them to keep it safe and sound. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I fall head over heels in love faster than most.]]
[center [size10 [i She sniffles a bit crying some more.]]]
[center [size10 About seven months we have been in each other's life. The first three were rough.l On and off dating plus on and off talking. I don't think I want to forget my past. It is something to learn from and to remember, both good and bad. You have to take the good with the bad and the happy and the sad. It's how life works.]]
[center [size10 These past four months have been a roller coaster. We both mistakes. We both have our faults. I regret the things I've done to you. They weren't right or moral. I should have more respect for myself than that. You have shown me so much. You tell me how beautiful I am. You tell me how smart I am. How sweet I am. You tell me all these special things, and I can't help but believe the words from your mouth.]]
[center [size10 [i She covers her mouth and closes her eyes as more tears fall down her face.]]]
[center [size10 I'll always love you. Always been in your life. Be someone for you to come to. Even if we are not together, I will still be here for you. I promise that to you. I'm not breaking up with you, I could never bring myself to do that. My love for you is bountiful and passionate. I get jealous easily. I can't help that. When you have someone you love so much and care so much about, you can't help but think everyone sees it too. Which from how it seems, is true. I'm not the only one who cares for you. Who loves you.]]
[center [size10 [i She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes crying still.]]]
[center [size10 Please don't forget me in the future.]]
[center [size10 [i Her lips quiver as she leans closer to him. She closes her eyes, tears streaming down her face. She kisses his lips softly, tears falling over her lips. She let's go of his lips after a few moments and looks down.]]]
[center [size10 I'm sorry for not being enough for you. Not being what you needed. I can tell now that I cannot give you enough love for you to stay with me.]]
[center [size10 [i She turns away from him, crying, and begins to walk away from him.]]]
  FallynAngel / 4y 49d 8h 1m 28s
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[center [size13 [+orange [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Calligraffitti]
[calligraffitti I've met the love of my life and I would not have it any other way. I met him on Gaia and we started texting and talking on the phone. Gaia is a site that has little chibi avatars that you can move around. So coote!]]]]

[center [size13 [+orange [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Calligraffitti]
[calligraffitti I met him in person finally. We talked about it for so long. He saved up money to come and see me with his family. He was living in New Jersey for awhile, but he was moving to Kentucky and had to see me before he left for there. It was so romantic! XD]]]]

[center [size13 [+orange [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Calligraffitti]
[calligraffitti The first thing he did was hug me when we first saw each other. He told me that my pictures didn't do me any justice. That I'm much prettier in person and do not look my age. It was so coote! I loved every second of it, even if it was for a day.]]]]

[center [size13 [+orange [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Calligraffitti]
[calligraffitti I call him Watanuki and he calls me his Karuta. We went on a date and he paid for it all. It was AMAZING! I've never had a guy treat me so well. We may be long distance for now, but he is coming back in two months to live with me. I couldn't be anymore excited than I already am.]]]]

[center [size13 [+orange [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Calligraffitti]
[calligraffitti His kisses were so sweet, like candy. His hugs were warm and comforting. I cuddled with him and I HATE to cuddle, but with him it just felt right. He's so strong and so cute! Did I mention how hot and handsome he is? No! Well, he is!]]]]

[center [size13 [+orange [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Calligraffitti]
[calligraffitti I was myself around him and I felt so comfortable around him. I was honest and upfront about everything. I was so clingy and he loved it. He is the most loyal guy ever. I got so lucky with him. I really did.]]]]

[right [size13 [+hotpink [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Homemade+Apple]
[homemade+apple ~In Love~]]]]
  FallynAngel / 4y 71d 8h 43m 7s
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[center [size13 [+darkcyan [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Tangerine]
[tangerine I think it is time for me to say goodbye once again. I've stayed long enough and just need to go. No one here likes me. So what is the point in staying? There is no point to it. No point at all. Everyone hates me. I try to be genuine with people. I sit there and I actually care about these people I have never met. Yeah, people I have never met. I actually care. Yet, none of them care about me.]]]]

[center [size13 [+darkcyan [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Tangerine]
[tangerine Sherry finally hates me for being too honest with her. For speaking my mind. Yup, I spoke my mind and she hates me now. I could get her in trouble, but I choose not to. Hali hates me now. She told me to never speak to her again. She even blocked me, with Sherry. Then she unblocked me. I don't know why she unblocked me if she hates me. She seems a bit two-faced, and I dislike that in people. Sherry is the same way. I chose to give them the benefit of the doubt though. When I knew.]]]]

[center [size13 [+darkcyan [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Tangerine]
[tangerine I knew they disliked me all along. I just knew. Chris would read their texts to me when the text was about me. So I knew all along. I tried to make them like me. I tried to make them see that I'm not a horrible person. I was just being me. I'm a caring person and I always have been. Always. No matter what people think of me, I always show kindness.]]]]

[center [size13 [+darkcyan [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Tangerine]
[tangerine Leaving is my best option right now. Leaving is the only way to get better. I don't know why I get attached to anyone over the internet. Maybe it is easier to talk to people over the internet because they can't truly judge me when I am finally being myself. I guess I was wrong. I seem to be getting judged all over the internet these days. I'm not trying to make enemies. I am just trying to be myself and it does me no good. I'm sorry.]]]]

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[tangerine ~ Goodbye ~]]]]
  FallynAngel / 4y 115d 13h 34m 57s
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[center [size10 [+deepskyblue [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Satisfy]
[satisfy I want to close myself off from the world. I want nothing to do with anyone who isn't my family. No one cares about me. They all pretend to care, because in reality they hate me. [i Frenemies.] That's what I have. People who tell me they are my friends, but in actuality they are just my enemy.]]]]

[center [size10 [+deepskyblue [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Satisfy]
[satisfy Why pretend to care? I don't pretend. I can't. It's not in my nature to pretend to care about someone. I do it because I really mean it. I'm a genuine person. I do things because I want to, not because I have to or am told to. Isn't that how it is supposed to work?]]]]

[center [size10 [+deepskyblue [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Satisfy]
[satisfy He barely talks to me. He barely texts me. My own boyfriend. I'm the doting girlfriend and do anything for him. I let him have other girlfriends. I let what they say bother me. He talks to them more than he talks to me. I thought I was the one he truly loved, other than his last ex.]]]]

[center [size10 [+deepskyblue [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Satisfy]
[satisfy After almost a week of not talking to me, I finally get a call and a few texts from him. Strange. But it made me feel better to hear his voice again. To hear him tell me he loved me. That meant everything to me. Of course, he had to go though. Not sure when he will talk to me or text me again. It was so cute that he tried to hide who he was talking to just so he could stay talking to me. We were lovey dovey and it felt so nice to smile for him and to laugh for him. It just felt right.]]]]

[right [size10 [+deeppink [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Satisfy]
[satisfy ~ Losing Hope ~]]]]
  FallynAngel / 4y 121d 11h 16m 11s
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[center [size10 [+lightseagreen [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Crafty+Girls]
[crafty+girls Today is July 13th, 2014. I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now. It feels so unreal. I can't wait to make it a year with him. We've been through so much and I absolutely love him. I don't care if he has other girlfriends, I know I'm number one to him. I feel bad for the other girl or girls, depending at this point. I can't help but feel bad for them.]]]]


[center [size10 [+lightseagreen [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Crafty+Girls]
[crafty+girls Not everything has been going smoothly for me. I have been upset lately. He says I start problems, but I don't. Because I see something on ES that upsets me, does not mean I am causing drama. I make up problems he says. But I don't think I do. I think my worries are very much necessary at this point. He has broken up with me in the past multiple times before. It wouldn't be the first time that he left me for an ex. Even though he tells me that he doesn't love her and that she is a liar. I can't help but to think the worst. He left me for Alex. So why wouldn't he leave me for Sherry?]]]]


[center [size10 [+lightseagreen [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Crafty+Girls]
[crafty+girls Aside from all of that. I talked to this girl who has always hated me. I found out that she doesn't hate me now, but she doesn't like me. She can't trust me with anything. I'm not asking for her trust though. I am merely just telling her the truth. Being honest. I was raised to be honest, granted I lie to my parents, but they make me nervous. It's easier to be honest through a computer screen because then I don't have to see the person's face. Which is why, in the real world, I have anxiety and depression and I am very shy. I can't help that that's who I am.]]]]


[center [size10 [+lightseagreen [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Crafty+Girls]
[crafty+girls Another thing, I found out that Sherry dislikes me. It's not like I want to have a ton of friends,but when people dislike me for no reason, it gets to me. Why be genuine and nice to people when they are just going to talk bad about you behind their back? He called me a pushover, but I don't think that is true. I can't be a pushover. Maybe I am one. I would hate for it to be true. Why does Sherry dislike me so much? I did nothing but be honest with her. Yes, I know a lot about her, from Chris and from Vinny. But that doesn't mean I'm going to write her off. I wanted to know her for her, not for what other people had said. Isn't that the right thing to do?]]]]


[right [size10 [+lightsteelblue [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Crafty+Girls]
[crafty+girls ~Confuzzled~]]]]
  FallynAngel / 4y 125d 16h 10m 10s
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[center [size8 [+mediumturquoise [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Dancing+Script]
[dancing+script In two days I will have been with my AMAZING boyfriend for a whole month. Longer than we have ever gone out and I am hoping for longer. I know I won't get to spend the whole day with him, but night time will be the best time. We always talk at night, but I don't mind because he is the sweetest guy ever.]]]]

[center [size8 [+mediumturquoise [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Dancing+Script]
[dancing+script It took us a long time to get to where we are today. Three months of back and forth and him getting his heart broken a few times. I know it is going to take an awful long time to put all the pieces back together again, but it will be worth it in the end to seem him so happy.]]]]

[center [size8 [+mediumturquoise [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Dancing+Script]
[dancing+script I know that our relationship is not guaranteed or anything, I am just happy to be in his life. I will stay by his side for as long as he so wishes. When he tells me to leave, then I will. If I don't hear those words come from him, then I will be staying.]]]]

[center [size8 [+mediumturquoise [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Dancing+Script]
[dancing+script He makes me soooooo happy. Words cannot express how happy I am that he is in my life. The night he asked me out was the best night ever. I was crying to him about how he couldn't see that I loved him so much still and hated to see him hurt. He thought I was going to say no, which is why he was hesitant to ask me. He finally did and I said yes. Every day I fall more and more in love with him. We may have an unconventional love, but it's an unconditional one too.]]]]

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[dancing+script Sunday is our one month! I have a lot to do and he is always busy. But I don't mind at all. I understand and respect him a lot. I am so deeply proud of the person he is. He thinks he is becoming a new person, but that is untrue. He is just being himself and I love him for that. I love everything about him. No matter what I am always going to love him. He's an amazing guy. I am his kitten and he is my boy. I wouldn't have it any other way. I LOVE YOU CHRISTOPHER TURNER!]]]]

[right [size8 [+mediumseagreen [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Dancing+Script]
[dancing+script ~Happily In Love~]]]]
  FallynAngel / 4y 127d 11h 43m 9s
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[center [#00ffff [size8 [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Finger+Paint]
[finger+paint Lately I have been feeling so down and have had no one there for me. I have been going through a lot and no one wants to be there for me. I have less and less friends everyday. No one wants me in their life. The people that do don't know me yet because we have just met.]]]]

[center [#00ffff [size8 [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Finger+Paint]
[finger+paint Life, for me, has been a big ball of mess. I had a boyfriend, yup, on here and in rl. I met him here. I fell in love with him within a week. He didn't love me back, but I wanted to fight for him. You always fight for something you believe in. And I believed in love. He used to believe in love.]]]]

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[finger+paint He finally asked me out, thinking I would say no, June 13th. It was night time and I was crying to him about him not seeing what was right in front of him. Of course, I was talking about me. June 13th. That was the happiest night of my life.]]]]

[center [#00ffff [size8 [google-font http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Finger+Paint]
[finger+paint Lately, he has been withdrawn from me. He barely talks to me and I can barely go around and tell people that we are dating cause he doesn't want enemies. I don't want to live a lie though. I want to shout it to the world. I love him unconditionally and I have for a long time. I worked so hard to have him, I think I deserve to tell the world. I LOVE CHRISTOPHER TURNER! Is that so much to ask? To shout it to the world.]]]]

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[finger+paint Back to me not being myself. Lately, I've been having flashbacks to one night. It was a terrible night and I wish I could take it back more than anything. It hurts to remember it and I have no one there for me to vent to about it. No one. I feel empty.]]]]

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[finger+paint ~Broken~]]]]
  FallynAngel / 4y 133d 10h 47m 45s
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