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Nice. :> Is It Like A Fair?
I'm hopefully going to a local event next friday. It should be fun~
Hold Your Sanity .... Hold It Tight.
You Should Just Get Up And Walk Out. You Need Something To Take That Pain away Temporarily. And A Movie Might Take Your Mind Off Of It.
Don't even know. Started with a couple pills which turned into a dozen or so. I sort of lost control.
And I wanna go see Bad Grandpa, but I have to wait until my mom is less tired. e.e I'm becoming more stubborn than her. I've got beat up knees, stiff and sore muscles, and I've got the pain in my left flank acting up again and I'm ready to raise hell. Even though I pay for it later. I hate sitting around doing nothing.
Don't Do That Fool. That's The Slowest Way To Die. And Don't Kill Yourself .... That's Selfish. I Can Understand Thinking About It, But Don't Actually Do It.Speaking Of Which, Why Did You Attempt Suicide?
I Can't Watch Them At Night By Myself ... Someone Has To Be In The Room Or Watching It With Me. What Do You Wanna Watch?
He had to listen to me while I was overdosing on a shit ton of pills.
And I normally don't do horror movies unless it's during the day.
What Happened Hun?
You Should Watch A Horror Movie.
By Doing What Exactly?
e.e So Dylan hates me now. And I've been crying because it's my fault. And I want to go see a movie. And I tried to kill myself last night.
I Understand How You Feel .... I'm 6 Feet Tall And People Always Call Me Giant, etc etc and on top of that, I often feel like no one will ever really like me. Sure, they may flirt, but the ones I like seem to never like me back. And then, My mom too .... She's always trying to lose weight but she acts as if I'm just 500 pounds over my limit. e_e I'm just really tall with boobs, but no one seems to see that. They just see.... bigness.
But not eating can actually make things worse for you, so I suggest maybe just eating salad everyday? If you're gonna strain your body, at least strain it in a healthy way.
Eh. I've been happy with Dylan for the most part, I'll just stick with Dylan, he's the best I'll ever have, and I've loved no matter what I've tried.
And I think it's time for me to starve myself for a month. I don't need food, I have enough fat reserves and I can get energy from coffee. I made a pudding pie that was custard and chocolate. I ate one piece and threw it out because I felt fat from what I'd ate of it. I don't need to eat anything, I just need to lose weight. My urge to cook/bake when I'm bored is going to make me fat since that obviously means I eat it all in one night.
My mom is the best mom ever, she wins the award for mom of the year for giving me a complex about my weight in the middle of a grocery store and reminding me that I'm extremely overweight.
I Feel You ... My Cousin Seems To Get A Lot Of Attention From Guys, And My Friends Say I Get Looks At What Not By Guys But I Never See It. And Nobody Has The Balls To Really Ask Me Out .... Except For All The Guys Who I Don't Even Really Like. They Are Either Ugly, Annoying Or Somewhere Around 4 Years Older Than Me. But I Guess I Can't Really Help The Fact That I Look Older Than What I Really Am ... e_e But If Attention Is What You Demand For, You Should Go And Get It. I'm Not Saying Be An Attention Whore, But If You Need Someone To Be There For You, Go Get Him.
That Guy Who Went Back With His Ex, First Off, You Guys Could Get Closer Even Though He Is In A Relationship. Just Don't Do Anything With Him You'll Regret ... He Can Be A Friend To You And Be There For You And Hug You .... Sorta Like A Friend With Benefits. ;> Don't Take That The Wrong Way Though .... And Secondly, If Him And His Ex Broke Up Once, There Could Be A Slight Chance They Might Break Up Again. So Don't Give Up On Him Yet.
I'm too dependent on others, mostly the affections of men. I pretty much need a guy to want me. And I really need to see him for Christmas... even if it's just as a friend. I just... need attention from someone who really cares and isn't just putting up with me. I need so many hugs at this point. I don't want any presents. And I don't want to deal with anyone I know in real life that isn't my mom, her boyfriend, his daughter, or my friend Claire. My mom won't let Claire come over though. Something about bed bugs or something.
I haven't been this down in a while. I haven't wanted attention this badly in a while either.
You Can Be Independent And Still Love Dylan. People Never Really Move On From Their Ex's, Especially The One's They Love. No, They Don't Move On, But They Think They Do.
Both... seeing as I was hoping this guy would help me move on from Dylan, and seeing as he's back with his ex, and I can't date him and in turn move on, I'm not going to be able to get over Dylan and I'm going wind up beating myself up over that fact. I'm way too dependent on him and I need to not be.
Ah ... I See. I Actually Don't Mind Hospitals As Much ... Dunno Why. Maybe Cause I Wanna Be A Vet ...
That's A Good And Bad Thing Right?
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