When Adele China first comes to the rehab centre, she is all alone. Carrying nothing more than her past beyond the white doors, the strained solitude of rehabilitation becomes the sole focus of her life.
It takes time for things to change, for Adele's surroundings to become present once more, for a harsh reality to seep into her system from where she'd chased it away with drugs.
Chester has seen this all happen a thousand times before. As fellow initiate at the rehabilitation centre he observes the patients' developments with keen interest.
Where is the line drawn between personal profession and genuine interest for another human being? To Chester, those lines are rather hazy and like most things in his life he employs himself only half-heartedly.
The silver bell that rung throughout her voice for had dissipated. Once vivacious and daring, those bright blue orbs had become nothing more than hollow oceanic color windows into her soul. A storm of emotions were raging around before her, and there was a calmness to it before all hell was unleashed. Yet wasn't that to be expected? Anger, crying and sadness instead of smiling a cheerfulness? She was reliving her own nightmares. Who’d thought that that princess would lay siege to her own castle, breaking down those strong walls that had defended her in the past? But perhaps from chaos something beautiful can be made? She hoped so.
Outside her eyes were assaulted by a myriad of colors. Apparently fall was beginning because all the trees were beginning to turn from green to yellows, browns, reds, oranges; it was a pretty sight to behold. Walking the grounds the female slowly looped her arm around the males and sighed. [i “Life…. Is one hell of a long road to walk. Before I met you, I had lost all sense of direction.. Walking down this road all alone; I thought that’s how it was meant to be. Lonely, desolate, and then you came and show me life could actually be beautiful… That somehow, there is something more than just this. Hopelessness..”]
[i “But for the first time, I feel excited… I can’t wait, The future finally is promising me something more than just nothing, and I want to run and meet that future.. I'm sure that theirs a brighter future waiting, not just for me, but for you as well.... "] She spoke.
As hard's it's to tell the fucked up story, it's equally difficult listening without flying off the handle, without searching out this Matthew and finishing what Sam'd started with her knife. Why hadn't Adele condoned murder then? It wouldn't solve much but anger and misplaced shame, but at least it'd be something. Letting the man get away with torturing a young girl, innocent in the ways of life then, that's a crime's well. Chester grit his teeth together while listening, eyes focussed on the rain outside drizzling down steadily as Adele's voice recanted her experiences. Emme'd flicked on a recorder, because if by any chance Adele'd be unable to speak at the hearing, at least this much's evidence to speak against Matthew in favour of Adele's little sister.
Amber'd be proud.
When Adele's voice cracked, Chester's eyes landed on their hands, on her clammy and cold fingers seeking stability with his. Not that his faired much better, but his skin's boiling with rage. Stomping the emotion down because it'd be selfish, and this isn't about him right then, Chester took Adele's hand in his and held on. Any more'd be invading that space she'd need to get everything out.
Emma's decidedly uncomfortable and Chester watched the other woman glance away. She rose to pour Adele a glass of water and sat back down again.
This's what's called a break-through.
Not all of them went through the process like that but the ones that resisted most often broke in the most violent of ways. It'd either be suicide or a vomiting up of everything which's in the way of being healthy. In Adele's case, it's the latter, fortunately.
She'd to repeat the whole thing in court.
Chester didn't envy her, wished he'd do more for her but be there and waiting.
Outside sun broke through the clouds, even though it's meagre. At least the rain'd stopped.
When Chester noticed Adele's crying, there's something in him softening. Some of that rage's forgotten and instead there's empathy. This's hard, they appreciated that, but Chester wondered whether Adele knew that.
"'s take a walk," Chester suggested.
The office's stuffy, carried the stench of bad memories now and they're in need of a breath of fresh air. Emma wanted to protest, wanted to get the rest of the story but it's enough for today. It's a process, not a rush and though a sprint, a marathon's better.
She's naked and fragile, under all those clothes, those layers of defences. It's hard to watch almost, but Chester'd so anyway. He wasn't scared of looking, still found Adele pretty regardless.
Getting up, he extended his hand, "'s go outside for a bit," Chester offered.
's there a thing as knowing too much about a person?
In Emma's case it's clear; her profession'd make her shut up about it. Chester's no longer bound by that, except for what trust Adele'd given him. It's a lot to carry.
And then there's the question which'd remained.
Was she ready to confront Matthew on this? Leave all that shit behind?
There's the desire to, and that's fine, but it'd be hard. Courts about facts, they'd try to fight Adele's story, ask for details, feelings, opinions. Even more so than Emma. Fuck that. Even if they wouldn't go through with that, it's fine. Adele's healing at last.
All eyes seemed to be on her, both Chester’s and Emma’s. Deep within her soul the floodgates were beginning to open and all of the darkest secrets that she had kept lock away were beginning to come back. Chills came crawling down her spine and her hands shook. Partially from the fear of having to relieve those nightmares that would come from having to see him again. “Matthew…” That word conjured up emotions that the girl had been trying to push down. The other reason to cause the shaking was because of her anger, her rage. Adele could see her, the young girl dress in pink grabbing at her blankets. Why.. why the hell was it her? Because god was a cruel being who let anything and everything happen and afterwards he simply just chalked up this tragedies as “his will” or “his plan.” Give her a break, for such a loving father who knew everything, God had some fucked up plans. Was her finally getting everything off her chest part of his plans to? Probably. [b “Are you okay?”] Emma’s voice echoed around in Adele’s skull and the female blinked her eyes.
For a moment she had forgotten that those two were in the same room as her. [i “No. I’m never going to be fine, or okay, or anything other than broken, hurt, scared and angry, victorious, strong, powerful…”] The girl’s voice fell off and at once she closed her eyes. [i “It’s going to be… a long story… but… if I don’t tell it, than nothing will ever change… I understand that know. Running away doesn’t fix shit. Getting high, partying, cutting, nothing fixes shit but standing there and fucking accepting what happen. Not just, saying ‘oh I was a victim.’ But actually accepting what happen and fight back. Once you do that, that’s when you become a victor, that’s when you win…”] And it feels good, honestly it feels good.
Once the girl open her mouth everything just started pouring out. Nothing could’ve stopped her from finally telling the truth that she had kept hidden inside of her. One by one she pulled out the monsters that had been crawling under her bed and she killed them. Revenge never felt so sweet. And for some reason, the fear of breaking down, of crying somehow went away, she could make it… she could make do it… she could… her voice cracked. Somehow all of her strength was gone halfway through the story. Taking a deep breath the female buried her face in the palm of her hands. She was exhausted.
[b “Let’s take a break..”] Emma spoke softly.
Adele had been talking for what seemed to be hours. Her voice had gone hoarse and the tears were starting to spill but holding her breath she tried her best to not let them fall..
Her voice was barely a whisper and without thinking about anything, Adele reached out for Chester’s hand and gave it a quick little squeeze. He was there for her… and that was all that she needed to know to make everything alright. She would get through this with him being there for her. The darkness was fleeing and the sun was beginning to shone brighter once again.
Five minutes're already wasted simply by getting out. There're stares, questioning, judging, misinterpreting and Chester'd ignore them all 'cause fuck that. They didn't know, weren't for one second occupied with anyone other than themselves and it's selfish, all of them're hypocrites, are human, faulty and broken like that and screw it. Outside's better, but not by much. Smoking brought about a cough and the cold'd penetrated his coat quicker than his trembling hands'd managed to pilfer a cigarette from its package. Sniffling at the damp in the air speaking of a past rain, Chester waddled over to the crowd of other smokers and found a ride. It's fine, being dependant. Home's quiet, safe for Mel, whose questioning gaze held more so curiosity and he's just not in the mood to explain what's going on then.
Before words'd form on the female's lips, Chester's foul look stalled the younger girl, who, ashamed, lowered her head back into the school-book. They're dependant on one another as well. But free at the same time, weren't they?
No one's free when stuck in society however, when the foundations of what made up the human race're in place to stifle and choke. What'd things be like when revenge's condoned by law? What if Adele hadn't stopped Sam from stabbing her abuser to death? Sam'd do it too, Chester'd met the female and knew there's conviction there, love, however misplaced, for Adele. It's frighteningly strong and something Chester'd have to contend with as well no doubt but it's fine. Just fine.
Submitting to a quick shower, which left the male breathless more so than the journey towards the house, Chester shrugged into clean clothes and managed a piece of toast for breakfast. The cold's still there, but the adrenalin of daily stress's working fine to subdue some of the symptoms and after a couple of aspirin Chester felt sort of alive again.
"You leaving again?" Mel asked, biting her lower lip apprehensively.
"Yeah," he remarked dryly, shrugging in the same coat knowing it'd do nothing to prevent the cold from seeping into his bones.
"Did you even sleep -what's going on?" His little sister rose from her perch, hands lifted to straighten his coat, fiddle with the zipper, close and Chester's looking down at her blonde hairs, so different from Adele's. "I thought you were suspended, but then..." a sigh escaped her lungs. It's confusing.
There's nothing normal about what's going on between him and Adele, so there're little words which'd explain their relationship in acceptable terms.
"There's this girl," Chester started, as if that's the beginning, but rather, it'd been the end maybe. Or somewhere in the middle.
"What's her name?" Mel chased, gaze still trained at her hands.
Chester sighed out and grabbed Melanie's hands, steadied them. They're small and frigid in his larger grip and Chester hugged his little sister.
"Yer worryin' too much," he chastised her.
"Probably gonna get fired," Chester added, "'s okay, 'll find something new."
"A patient?" Mel's voice drifted from where her face's buried against his chest.
"Yeah. I gotta go back," he said finally, letting her go.
There's silence when Chester opened the door, and then a soft 'do you love her?' coming from the living room. Without replying, he shut the door, leaving Mel to her own thoughts while mulling the prospect of loving someone's difficult to love as Adele. There's no denying there're feelings though. More than just a case of following his dick around as well.
The ride back's longer somehow, and by the time the facility loomed up, the cold's headache's back and he's late.
"Nice of you to join us," Emma remarked when Chester entered her office.
It's obvious Emma and Adele'd been talking already and there's some paranoia looming at the back of his head but they're fine. It's fine. Some things're better of staying in the dark like that. Staying silent.
"Have a seat," the doctor invited, studying Chester with a little more intent. The man's hair's wet, so there'd been a shower and he looked refreshed, if not still a bit withdrawn from overcoming being sick.
"Let me start of by saying I can't keep you on the payroll," Emma crushed a few dreams harshly. Chester's not surprised and shrugged.
"Figured's much," he excuses Emma's lack of tact.
"'s fine," Chester started. He's there for Adele, not for himself. Screw the facility, or helping people by rearranging their sanity to something which more closely resembled something which'd fit in with 'normalcy' -whatever the Hell that's.
He'd find something else to do until the new school-year started. Or maybe he'd take different classes and change the general direction his life's heading entirely. For some reason that night'd come back to memory, but drugs and parties aren't the answer either. Could though. If they wanted to.
For how long? It'd be an endless lie if that's the way they're taking.
Disappointment radiated from Emma's posture as her eyes settled on Adele.
Slowly; the hour seem to crawl along taking its merry time as the female got ready to meet with Emma. It was time. The beast lay hidden in its cave, breathing molten hot fire. Its fangs were ready to destroy and devour anyone who dared to enter his domain. There was only one person who could slay the dragon. Only one warrior who lie awake torment by images of the dragon roaring and devouring her, and the warrior was Adele. Fragile like china, barely able to stand on her own two feet; but she had learn hadn’t she? There was a desire to fight back burning deep within her bosom and now wasn’t the time to let the fire die. She was branded by the dragon’s fire; the shame would follow her for the rest of her life. But that didn’t mean that she had to let it consume her any longer. She could just imagine it now, his lifeless corpse lying with puncture holes in it from a knife….. But she wasn’t Sam. Violence wasn’t something she had ever been good at. Running her fingers through her curls she let out a sigh and walked out the door; fuck waiting an hour
[i “I’m coming in…”] She spoke as she open the door to find the doctor looking at her. There was an odd expression on her face, the same look a mother would give her daughter when she found out that she was planning on doing some reckless. There was fear mixed with anger mixed the recognition that there was nothing she could do but close her eyes and pray to God that the car didn’t crash and there was no death. Stepping into her office Adele looked around a bit, truth be told, she’d never seen Emma’s office. However it was a letdown. Everything was file away neat and clean, everything was perfected. Letting out a sigh the female look at her before she motion for her to have a sit, there were two chairs available. One for her and the other for Chester she guessed, not that it mattered. Folding her hand sin her lap she leaned forward.
[i “You don’t think I can handle it do you? That I’m going to break down and court and become useless….”] Adele spoke softly as she exhale and then inhale. There was a lot she wanted to say, a lot she needed to say, but there was no way to express it. She wasn’t just scare of him, she was furious at him. There was a sacred bond form between them the moment she was born; she trusted him with her entire being and how did he repay her trust? He broke her and ripped her apart. Just like a cannibal, he feast on her young flesh and that was something she couldn’t live down, something she could never forget… [i “I want to see him suffer..”]
[b “Adele..”] Emma could hardly pass for a sympathetic doctor. Somehow she had become addicted to following the rules and protocols and staying in line with what was “acceptable behavior” and what was “inappropriate Behavior” that she had almost forgotten the simple fact that Adele and Chester are fucking humans. Love, compassion, understanding, humans yearn for those.
For the first time in a long time, the blonde had found someone who was trying to understand her. No wonder the attraction between them grew. They were just being human; had Emma forgotten what being a human was? No.. No she hadn’t.
Grabbing Adele’s hand she looked at her with those sympathetic eyes and nodded her eyes. [b “You don’t have to push yourself.. you can wait till Chester gets back.. and…”]
[i “I don’t understand it…”] Adele spoke softly as she looked at Emma. [i “Lately it feels like when I’m with him, I can do anything and everything I want… but when I’m away from him, I feel empty… I feel as if I want to see him. I don’t get what’s going on with me… I don’t want to always cling to Chester…”]
Emma knew what was going. Somehow there was something broken inside the girl and now it had been fix. And even though it defied all human logic; somehow the man had been able to break down the walls that the blonde had put up. He was able to find a part of her that no one existed and.
[b “Maybe.. you’re in..”]
[i “In love? How did that happen?”]
If only Emma knew. Its fucked up, the doctor falling in love with the patient who suffered from sexual assault, and her wanting to be with the same gender her abuser was. Maybe cupid was drinking with Bacchus when he decided to fire off his arrows and hit those two by accident?
Sighing the female look at Adele and shook her head from side to side. [b “I don’t know… but.. the trail is coming up soon remember? Before we deal with you and Chester, there’s something more important..”] For once second, the female was able to be somewhat sympathetic but now the regular distant and cold woman was back. Well, that was fun while it lasted.
Nodding her head Adele nodded as she looked at the door; Chester would be there soon and then it would be time for them to talk about the future and what’s to come…
Adele's movements're making waking up more definite and Chester fought against it, hoping to prevent being miserable and insomniac to boot. Fuck that. Her whispering's barely penetrating the dredges of inhibited motivation but the words're there. Sam's not to be involved and for a moment there's just confusion rushing across his features. Meekly pulling the blanket closer since Adele's stretching and leaving the bed's making him cold, Chester dazedly watched the whimsical patient as she stood in the room.
His face's warm, but his back's cold and there're shivers then.
It'd be fine with a little time. But then, there's Emma, implying he'd to leave because soon there'd be people in Adele's room, cleaning, checking whatever. He couldn't stay. Emma wouldn't protect him and why'd she?
Because Adele'd crash and burn upon seeing the bastard that's her father, that's why. Not letting Sam know's not a promise he'd be able to keep since offing the man seemed like a good idea. Then again, so'd letting him suffer in prison. Prisoners didn't take well to child-molesters. Usually ended with a soap bar, some ninety degrees and something hard shoved up the ass. Served him right.
That way he'd feel what it's like.
To be the victim. To be weak.
"Serves 'm right," Chester whispered hoarsely.
Watching Adele from this close's weird, like she's glowing a little or maybe that's just his blurry sight and fuck, he's still sick. Hadn't gotten better since that night though there'd been some sleep at least. Mel'd be pissed he hadn't returned home. Fuck. And if she's pissed, there'd be no one picking him up. Maybe Mel's twin, Samantha'd be home.
"'s cold," he complained, blinking to clear up his vision a little.
"Still got an hour," Chester reasoned with a feint sigh. Shifting some, he uncovered an arm from the sheets and rubbed at the excess moist in his eyes and watched Adele. A fallen angel. Snorting at the thought that she's now closer to Lucifer than anyone else, Chester heaved a thick sigh and sat up. Sitting taller than Adele, who'd crouched down to the bed's height, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.
"Won't tell," Chester promised.
"Ah shit -I gotta get up," he groused, untangling from the blankets and it's cold almost immediately, skin taut at the difference in temperature. Some water'd do him good though. Preferably before they'd a headcount and figured out their tenants' breakfast and such. Before he's noticed. And then there's the probation thing. Wouldn't be continuing working at the facility anyway. It'd prevent whatever's blossoming between them to come to fruition. Chester figured that, yeah, it's wrong, maybe, there's love.
Apprehensive and unappreciated, but love. For Adele though, Chester's not sure. Maybe he's just safe. Secure like that and that's okay too. For now.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Chester drowsily stared ahead before daring a stand. It's fine. He's fine. Great even. Not really. No worse than yesterday maybe though so it'd be okay. He'd to talk to Emma before leaving though, about what they'd do. What'd make his record and what to tell school about him fucking up work.
Amber's bound to be back with the dates on which she'd want to abuse Adele's voice. And there's Adele's sister to consider. "Didn't know you'd a sister," Chester piped up, realized it's completely out of context and wiped at his face.
Finding Adele's eyes, Chester let out a sigh.
"Won't be gone long," he promised, fetching his coat and looking around for his shoes. At least those things. Almost forgotten.
"You'll be okay?" Chester asked, pushing his feet into his shoes -screw laces- and huddled in his coat for warmth. "I'm jus' gonna talk to Emma, then go home for a bit, get changed," he relayed the itinerary. It felt like leaving her behind all the same. Felt wrong. Like something'd happen while he's gone. The paranoia ate at his mind but Chester pushed it away. Sam'd learn about Amber from Emma, and if not, the facility's rumoured for gossip. She'd know sooner or later Adele's mom'd visitted.
For all they'd spent the night in each other's embrace, hugging's more intimate still. Casually Chester draped his arms around Adele's shoulders though, clinging for a bit longer than normal and finally left without looking back, a stray hand scratching already ruffled hair as he walked out the door. There's a whole bunch of shit to take care of and only energy to tackle maybe one or two tasks. Fuck that though. He'd a cigarette first.
[i “Sam… don’t.”]
Adele’s sixteen years old and is grabbing the older woman’s hand. There’s desperation to her voice as her fingers grip the hands of the brunette. Her face is calm, cool and collected, the eyes of Sam are screaming murder. There’s a grown man sitting on the floor horrified with blood gushing from his side, and there’s a bloody knife on the floor. Its all a horrible nightmare, but at the same time it’s a beautiful dream. Her prince charming actually turned out to be a princess, and there she is defending her from her monster. The man has a scruffy beard and dark hair. In a suite the man would be quite handsome, good looking, despite the fact that he’s already in his early forties. And there’s a look of disbelief on his face.
[i “Sam… please….. He’s my…”] Adele's choking on the word ‘father.’ The word's foreign and bitter to her, just like the man whose lying on the ground trying to move and taking deep breath in excruciating pain. It serves him right, suffering, and hurting. But no, the young blonde doesn't want this.. Even though he had hurt her, over and over again, she didn't want this. To see him lying there on the ground so pathetic, so weak, “damn you…” His voice is barely over a whisper, and the very sound of his voice sets Sam blazing with fire. Snatching her hand away from the girl, she picks up the knife again and without even thinking about anything, Adele’s standing in front of the brunette spreading her hands out, hovering over the man who’s cowering in fear. It’s funny what death does to a man.. It reveals one’s true character. He seemed so strong, so powerful when he was beating up and molesting a little girl, but now, now when a woman’s holding a knife to his throat dying to kill him, he’s like a scare little kid. He can barely control himself and it’s pathetic.
The brunette lets out a primal scream. She’s pissed, pissed off at the man, and her girlfriend trying to save his life. And where’s the Mom? Out partying, getting drunk like always.. Amber’s a careless woman like that, she only plays mother when it suites her. Or perhaps she just couldn’t stand the sight of her Christian daughter sleeping with another woman, wasn’t homosexuality some big sin in the Christian bible? Adele never had bother to pay attention in church to know what was sin and what wasn’t.
[i “Please… for me… don’t kill Matthew… I can’t… I can’t lose you.”] There’s tears coming down Adele’s face and it’s the crying that brings saves Sam from being arrested. Slowly Adele steps forward and grabs a hold of her hand.. Taking the knife from her, the blonde takes a heavy breath.. “you.. crazy bitch…” Matthew mutters “I’ll press charges..”
[i “No, no you won't.. Not unless you want to go to jail for child abuse.. and the next time you come near me, do you honestly think I’ll stop Sam from killing you?” ] It’s not a threat, it’s a promise. And there’s silence. He wouldn’t press charges, after all, all Adele had to do was show those bruises on her body. [i “Never… come near me.. again.. You, and your whore of a wife can both burn in hell for all I care…” ] There’s a coldness to Adele’s voice, and suddenly her legs give out and its all Sam can do to support her.
That was the first and last time she had stood up to her father… And that had been the last time he saw her, covered in blood barely clinging on to life. And for some reason, the woman’s turned. She’s smiling; it feels good to see the victimizer turned into the victim, it feels good to play the role of God and choose whether or not to kill him or to let him live… but it’s fucked up. Very fucked up… Sadistic… and yet, as soon as Adele’s in the car she couldn’t help but laugh. Laugh and laugh and laugh at how hopeless he was. And that was the first and only time Sam’s been scare.
[b “Adele… stop laughing.. Adele, this isn’t funny! Damnit snap out of it!”]
[i “I want to see you.. in an hour, in my office Adele..”] The voice of Emma wakes Adele up from the memory and a moan parts from her lips. Burying her face deeper into the chest of Chester, the woman mumbles some half-way intelligent before yawning.
“Chester… Whatever you do… don’t get Sam involved with this..”
With that the blonde starts to stretching out her body before she turns and rolls out of bed. Yawning she stands her and begins stretching. Once she’s done the female’s sitting on the floor, moving closer to the bed watching as Chester sleeps. Moving closer to him, Adele places her lips close to Chester’s ears and whispers.
[i “The reason why I ran away from home… is because Sam almost killed my…..”] there’s pause.. taking a deep breath Adele speaks again. [i “Sam almost stabbed my father to death..” ]
Adele's warm against him, radiating heat between them, his trapped and Chester's fine with that. Fine with pretending everything's fine for a bit and the heat's forcing his eyes shut even though there's no actual sleep beckoning. Instead, he's listening, watching, waiting, wallowing in misery and fuck he needed a smoke. She's right there though, Adele and Chester's listlessly stroking the woman's hair, understanding the tears which'd stayed hidden but flowed at night with a darkness overwhelming to the mind. Not like he'd be able to stop them in any way, but that's fine. It's fine just being like this and screw Amber, screw Emma if she'd break them up.
Pressing a sloppy kiss to the top of Adele's head, Chester soothed her sleepy drawls, whisking away her consciousness from the trouble that's awaiting. Chester pictured giant maws, doors towards justice and fuck, Adele'd be scrutinized as well, for drugs use, for her record and what uses's a statement made without the sanity of mind? Maybe that's the proof they'd needed though; someone so fucked up, there's only one explanation for the crap life she'd tried to craft for herself. Amber'd testify to not knowing shit and there's no telling what Adele's sister'd do. Cry most likely.
Chester figured it'd take one look at the younger girl to see her eyes avoiding the assailant and there's anger then, some, despite feeling like death warmed over. If Chester'd admit to his love for the whimsical blonde, how'd that pan out when faced with what destroyed Adele's sanity? Or maybe Chester'd never've considered Adele a potential interest if she hadn't been as damaged, hadn't been as interesting to begin with. It's two shades of fucked up and Chester heaved a sigh. The facility's quiet at night. There're some distant shouts, filled with despairing malice crying out at the injustice of being incompatible with the world outside the sterile white walls and tepid green linoleum they'd for floors. Footsteps passed them by, the lights in the hall never died because there're guards there, making their rounds. Chester'd done that shift a couple of times.
Suicide watch they'd call it.
Because between two and three at night's a risky time, apparently.
Not being able to sleep's fucked up, but it's fine because the bed's remarkably comfortable and Adele's warm against him, her soft and even breathing soothing somehow. There's a laziness born from exhaustion, arm draped casually over the female's shoulder, the other pinned underneath the pillow and her neck some but that's fine. She's light like that.
The weight's nice.
The smell's nice.
Trying not to think of that night, where Adele'd danced so close, so temptingly close, high on drugs on life, smiling dancing. Swallowing away some congested substances Chester's not keen on seeing outside of his congealed brain, he focussed his thoughts elsewhere. The pending court case's a perfect killer. It'd be hard.
Which meant that for Adele, escaping into her safe world of drugs and parties's very real.
Sleep happened eventually, but Chester's not sure for how long he'd been asleep when the first sounds of life emerged from the facility. There're the familiar sounds of doors opening, 'guests' being awakened for breakfast and showers and there're voices echoing down the hall arguing the meaning of life in a nuthouse. It's insane.
Groaning some in wish of their silence, Chester tried hiding deeper into the pillows and blankets, a pale headache pounding away to accompany the tepid morning outside. There's a feint drizzle for rain and Chester'd feel the fever hadn't really gone away entirely yet. Adele's still there though and so he burrowed close, trying to shake the feeling of crawling skin at the back of his neck and it's pathetic.
It's Emma opening the door, thankfully.
From what Chester'd see, the older woman'd gotten no sleep at all.
"Go 'way," Chester argued meekly.
Emma closed the door and sighed, "This can't go on, you sleeping here," she emphasised. "I can't protect you indefinitely," Emma chastised her employee. Leering at the woman from his spot on the bed, Chester clung a little tighter to Adele underneath the sheets and shut his eyes again. It's too early to be awake.
Emma, understanding her warning wasn't going to have much of an impact deflated.
"I want to see you in an hour, in my office, Adele," she informed the girl.
They'd need to know whether the patient's ready to face the music. There'd be tests to determine that, Chester knew. Tests to make sure whatever Adele'd say in court'd hold up.
Not wrong in doing his action, invading her room when he ought not to and sharing a bed with her. He’s wrong in thinking that he didn’t do anything for her. There was something he given her that Adele couldn’t find anywhere else. Just like the creator had breathed life into the nostrils of Adam, so did he breath life back into her. Beforehand she was nothing more than something lifeless, a doll that was barely there… He had changed that for her… somehow he had fixed the broken pieces.. And now she wasn’t afraid of letting down her guard around people. He had proven that she could trust him. Yawning the male blinked her eyes. Somehow today had seriously taken an emotional toll on her.
Crawling into bed next to Chester, she didn’t even think about burring her face deep into the man’s chest. He was warm, warmer than the blanket that was given to her for comfort during the lonely night. He was strong, strong enough for the female to lean on, to depend on. Yawning again she could feel her eyes closing for the second time… There was something, something that she wanted to do, sing. She felt like singing a sweet lullaby but somehow, for some reason, her mouth wouldn’t open. Instead she was clinging to the male and her eyes were getting heavier and heavier. How long had it been?
Normally sleep didn’t come this easily. Most of the time it took her hours to get to sleep, and if the monsters than come and haunt her, if those demons didn’t come to torment her, than sleep came after what felt like an eternity. Sleep was always something that the girl had to force herself to do. She had to force herself to sleep in order to escape the cruelties of the Earth. But now, it was as if well, everything would be alright. Slowly she closed her eyes. Yes, darkness was a beautiful thing. It wrapped its arms around the female and kept her warm and safe, or was it Chester? Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t.
“You’re… my….” Adele murmured softly into the chest of the male as she began to drift off to world where dreams lasted for eternity. One thing was certain, with Chester by her side, there would be no demons who would come to torment here as she dreamed/.
She had won the battle, now it was time to begin the war. Her youngest daughter was staying at Adele’s Ex apartment. It was a good thing that the two share two things in common, their love for a certain woman and a hatred for a certain man. As the female walk out of the rehab place, cigarette in mouth, she was surprise to see that the brunette was standing waiting for her. Where was the little girl who had been force to be caught up in this awful place between hell and purgatory?
“Parker’s watching over her. He’s gay, and good with kids…” Sam's voice trailed off.
[i “Right..”] Amber commented as she lit a cigarette and inhaled.
“So that’s where she gets it from…” The girl remarked looking at the mother as she stood there, in heels, looking out into the distance. There was a coldness to her eyes; she wasn’t cut out for all this motherly shit. Even though she’d love her children and would die for them, she was horrible at expression that mother love. So, she continued to smoke on in silence.
“Are you really going to put her through that again? Are you really going to force you daughter to have mental break down?” Sam ask, her voice shaking.
[i “She consented to it… so yeah..”]
“Bitch..” Sam spat with venom in her voice. “You’re even worse than the man who raped her, cold hearted-, manipulative, narcissistic.”
Here the female just shrugged her shoulders. [i “I’m her mother; I only want whats best for her..”]
“Bullshit! Its like you don’t even care about her feelings. You didin't do anything when she was being molested, you didn't do a damned thing when he was beating her and leaving bruises, you’re a horrible person!” Sam’s screaming and her fist is shaking. She can hardly hold back her fury, and yet the woman simple inhales on the cigarette and smokes once more. As if she’s not there.
[i “Yeah, I guess it is bullshit… however, she’s gone this far without my help, so why can’t she go a little further?”] Sam had never punched anybody as hard as she punched Amber.
Theirs a bruise on her face, and the woman’s shocked. “I hope you burn in hell.” Sam spat as she walked off. Rubbing the bruise on her face the lady sighed.
[i “I am already..”]
It's all shades of wrong and still, there's no resistance to entering the girl's room. No resistance to shutting the door behind and forget that the world's going to shit out there. Inside there's nothing but the bed, Adele's affection and sleep. Maybe. Maybe not. Chester shrugged out of his coat, warm suddenly and screw it, he'd been sleeping just fine at home before Mel'd woken him up with that call and Emma still hadn't told him whether they'd stopped having him on probation but that's okay. Not like the job's anything important. Well, it's, somewhere, necessary but the more Chester's faced with the world's dangling shit at the bottom of human society's food chain, the less he'd an appetite for working there. Even if there's revolutionary ideas he's meaning to try. Intelligence's easy to hide like that.
Just letting it go's easier.
Being nothing. Momentarily though that's fine and so when Adele stepped close, her voice a mere whisper gently coaxing Chester and his headache towards the bed there's no resistance. She's there then, standing close and Chester's azure eyes dazedly watched Adele's cheek, her lips pressed against his skin, soft and warm, her breath leaving a trail of goose bumps on his arms like that and he's fine.
Well aware of what she's doing or maybe not. It's not in Adele maybe to realize she's tempting like to a male, luring the weak minded and willed into a honey trap. Last thing Chester'd think about though's sex. His head's about ready to explode and there's thoughts about the coming mess, the chaos of a justice system meant to treat them all fairly. Of course shit'd hit the fan then. Adele'd face her worst demon yet.
It's special though, Adele's affection. Different from the lustrous being she's on drugs and more fragile like that. Precious. It's for him only, Chester's well aware and so the sick man kept his hands to the side, just leaning in a little, cheek brushing against hers.
'Any time', 'didn't do anything', it's all replies rushing through his head but Chester's voice wasn't doing anything, his hands not going anywhere, feet nailed to the ground as if the floor's made of some sort of sticky substance. It's wrong, being there, sleeping with a patient in the most platonic of ways, loving a sexually abused female.
Loving her in a very non-platonic way.
There's not likely to be sleep this time around. Insomnia's a bitch and Chester knew that after sleeping the couple of hours previously, there's going to be trouble falling asleep this time around. If it's like the other night though, he didn't particularly mind.
Letting out some air, Chester stared at Adele. Looked at her face, her whimsical curls, so fitting for her flighty voice and singing. "You gonna sleep?" he asked, wanting to see how Adele looked without any of her past weighing her down and maybe there'd be nightmares but that's fine, since he's there then. He'd comfort her, even if that's probably not a good idea. It's easier doing what felt right than psychologically ethical. Not waiting for her reply, Chester moved passed the female and sat down on the bed, reaching down to untie his shoelaces and ended up kicking them off. Fuck that.
Lying down's better too, but wouldn't make his head feel any less stuffy or his complexion any less pale. There's red marks from the car accident a couple weeks ago still. Fading. The past's always fading and so'd Adele's eventually, if she'd let it. Pulling the pillow underneath his head some, Chester curled up on his side, staring into the room, feeling more secure knowing that there wouldn't be angry nurses or doctors invading through the window and he's watching the door. It's fine even if it's for just an hour or two before he'd get tossed out. There's comfort in what little time they'd be able to steal away.
“I’m exhausted!” The blonde whined as she flopped down on the bed.
Grabbing a hold of the blankets Adele proceed to wrap herself up in them as those blue orbs stared back at Chester. She was done with everyone whose name didn’t start with a “CH” forget the nurse or her mother… It this kept on continuing, than she would more than likely rip her hair out, or… she would probably return to the pills and the cutting….Blinking, the female shook her head from side to side. It wasn’t to dive back down into her darker side… Old habits die hard, and that last thing she want to do was being that downward spiral that led to rock bottom when she viciously fighting to regain control of her life. Letting out a yawn, the female began to curl her hair around her fingers; once more it was just the two of them together… and for some odd reason, the female felt like reliving that night again with the male.
How would if feel like, to snuggle next to Chester underneath blankets and close her eyes. True, dreaming was only a temporary escape… It couldn’t permanently protect from the harsh realities of this world that kept on insistently crashing down on her, but fuck it. Chester was the [s first] second healthy male relationship she had in her life. How broken, how scarred, and how scared had she been before she had met him? Now look at him, he looked like shit. Always running around trying to help him…
“Yes… I think they would let you stay….” Adele whispered as she looked at him. “After all, you need more rest than I do… Come on, its time for you to lie down again so that I can sing you to sleep. We both need all the rest we can get…” She whispered as she stood up once more.
Hadn’t she done this before? Taking off the blankets, she wrapped them around Chester’s shoulders and slowly led him to the bed. Its almost hard to believe that a just yesterday she had shared a bed with him… that she had been softly stroking his hair and singing sweet lullabies while he softly drifted off to the land of sleep. But it had happen. There was something growing between the two which couldn’t be describe, and whatever it was the female was fond of it. Without any thought, the female move closer to Chester and softly planted a kiss on his cheek.
Everyone's just standing there, watching the girl who'd somehow chosen to pick up her life and roar at it. Fucked up. Chester felt Adele's clammy palm in his hand and there's nothing he'd to say about what's going down. Of course Amber's mess didn't stop with Adele. Why'd it? There's a sister and Chester tried to recall whether Adele'd mentioned any siblings, figured she must've but much like the older woman Adele'd a knack for being selfish like that. It's fine. It's okay.
It'd been beaten out with a harsh molestation and only returned every now and then with a bout of confidence which isn't bound to last much longer than the obligatory ten minutes it'd take to walk away from Amber again. Emma's surprised, Chester'd noticed, but there's also a spark of interest because this development'd really make or break Adele's future.
It's good to face the future, not so fine to drown in it and Chester knew he isn't any sort of life-line to cling onto when in despair. Not really anyway.
He felt Adele's hand clench around his involuntary, but while there's strength, Chester's hands're so much bigger that it wasn't really hurting. It felt grounding, rather, the connection and Chester rubbed at his eyes a bit, distracted. Still felt like crap.
Amber's surprised as well, but only because she hadn't expected Adele to cooperate. Or maybe she'd, since the mother appeared to be manipulative that way. Her blindness's born from that fallacy, no doubt and Chester narrowed his azure eyes at her. The hatred which's overwhelmingly present in the young woman next to him's radiating across the room.
Emma cleared her throat, "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Adele," she tried to carefully broach the subject. Amber's having none of it, Chester realized.
The older woman merely constrained the welling up emotions which're almost overflowing in a snarl of anger. If they weren't there, Chester's not sure what the woman'd have done, but she'd gotten what she came for and so there's that.
Victory in defeat. Something like that?
Blind, stuck-up and proud.
More like that.
Emma noticed too and softly touched Amber's shoulder, gently guiding her away from the confrontation for all their sakes. Left alone now, Chester watched the seething woman beside him, remnants of being sick making him lackadaisical and lethargic.
"She's right," the medical trainee emphasised, "'s gonna be fucked up."
Courts're not his type of place. It's all regal to contrast the fallacy of those committing crimes and there's just this air of superiority Chester didn't like. And then there's the need to dress up, which's not his forte. Chester's dead eyed stare's still on the doctor and mother some end away, still visible through the glass windows, Emma occasionally looking back and Amber following her gaze as if by default. Manipulative his ass. Emma's just as bad.
Maybe worse, she'd studied for it.
He'd ask Adele whether she's alright, but it's stupid because the answer's a very clear no.
"Think she'll leave now?" Chester tossed up in the air, comfortable with the way their hands're still entwined, uncaring whether anyone's around to see. From this distance they couldn't hear, only see, Amber's emotions cry out loudly, but when she got her purse and stalked off towards the general direction of the exit followed closely by a more leisurely Emma, he's sure she'd left.
It's like the air cleared some after that.
Watching Adele, Chester sighed.
"Dya think they'll let me stay?" he asked. There's a good chance Emma'd reason that he looked like death, and she'd still come across as sympathetic that way, while sending him off.
"I'll take you back, c'mon," Chester coaxed. No use hanging around being on display.
“Are you serious?” The woman ask as she buried her face into the palm of her hands. As if things weren’t already stressful enough.
Firstly, Emma didn’t have the right to guarantee that Adele would consent to seeing her mother. On top of that, who knows exactly how the girl would reacted if her mother asked that of her. For being a “mother” she sure as hell, wasn’t doing a good job at it. So far, the woman came off as selfish, cruel, manipulative, and the list could go on for ever and ever. Looking into her glassy-eye stare, the female let out a sigh. Does she even care for the safety of her own daughter? After all, she hadn’t exactly been hell-bent on reconnecting with her in till she found out that her husband was a pedophile.
So what could Emma said to Amber? In truth, she didn’t exactly know the girl, not as well as Chester did anyways… nodding her head, the mother of Adele took a deep breath to calm down. Admitting to her past mistakes wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to do; yet, she had to fess up to the fact that she had fucked up. Now two innocent lives were ruin due to her negligence. Nevertheless, even though what she was going to ask her daughter to do would open up old wounds, she had to. Trying her hardest to put that man behind bars was the only way for her to atone for the sin she had made… Even if it meant that her daughter hated her, she would take that punishment in silence and live out the rest of her life....
“Yes. I am. I realize that what I’m asking her to do is hard… but she needs to face him for herself…” Lies.. Adele didn’t need to face the scary monster. Amber was just to ashamed to deal with it all; Emma could see it all written on her face plain as day. But still, the woman only let out a sigh and clear her throat.. It was hard to feign sympathy to the ones who didn’t deserve it but…
“Alright… I see what I can…”
Before she could finish, the blonde was walking into the room, holding on to Chester. Adele looked like a lost five year old girl, clinging onto the hands of daddy as he led her through a scary place. Even though she was a grown woman, her mentally sometimes was that of a little girl who hadn’t mature past the age of thirteen. Despite the fear, there was something more to her than just childishness. There a faint slimmer of hope; a spark that maybe, she was able to stand and face life again.
She’d grown weary of escapism. Escaping and running away, those always seem the easiest options for a person to make, that is unto sooner of later, they come to the cruel and brutal understanding that there is absolutely no place left for them to save them. That they’re security is nothing more than bullshit that they conjure up in their minds to help cope with the harshness of realities. Most seem to cave in and take their own lives in one more desperate attempt to escape from everything….
One could be proud that Adele had the strength to carry on, despite the cards that were dealt to her in a harsh manner. She hadn’t given up. Or rather she found hope in another person, but how long could this last for her? Holding on to Chester’s hand, the female look at Emma, than she turned her eyes towards Amber…. It was obivious that she had been crying there was a redness to those blue eyes. Blue, the color of the sky that accompanied the rising sun, the woman had missed the color of Adele’s eyes.
“You have a favor to ask me… don’t you?” The voice of the daughter came out curtly.
She was trying her best to suppress her emotions. Better she remain calm, than lash out again. Plus she was to tiered for that shit. Smiling faintly, her mother spoke..
“Yes…” Amber spoke as she turned to her.
“Are you fucking serious!?” There’s a venom in her voice as Adele spats back those words at her mother. Her whole body is tensing up. For a moment its tempting to be angry.. Yes, Adele knew that her mom was selfish bitch, but asking her to publicly relive and tell the world about her personal experiences. Hadn’t she tried all these years to just forget everything, hadn’t she try all these years to pretend like none of that happen? So why, why was her mother trying to undo everything that her daughter had tried so hard to build her.
In just a few hours, the castle that Adele had spent a life time building up and making impregnable, was beginning to crumble. It was her fault, for getting closer and closer to people.. Once you start learning how to let one person in, it becomes easier and easier to let others in…
“God damnit..” Adele sighed. She wanted to scream.
She wanted to tell the whole world to fuck off and leave her alone. Or better yet, she could’ve just taken Chester’s hand and walk out the door and never, ever come back. However, she was ready to end everything.
“I’ll do it.”
Adele's words's the precursor to silence and it's pregnant in the room after her 'stay'. The air's heavy like everything's too small and Chester's just blearily gazing at shit and fuck Emma, Amber and the facility. It's all useless. All he'd wanted's to turn around and get more comfortable on the bed, forget, since it's easier that way and screw everything. Adele's warm against him till there's distance and something's shifting, words forging into thoughts and the process' tiring to watch even. At least she'd stopped crying at some point, bolstering strength like that and it's fine, she'd be fine even without him there to remind the woman, patient, of what'd happened to her at the hand of the male half of the human society. Fucked up didn't even start to describe society. Something'd happened to you? There're places where you're 'helped' and even though Chester knew he's supposed to be part of that stuffing away perfectly fine people, there's no pride there. Just a desire to change it.
It's colder without Adele nuzzling against him lonely some, though Chester's aware she's right there, close. On the same bed even, just sitting within arm's length and all he'd to do's reach out. Chester didn't though, since the bed's nice and whatever warmth'd been lacking's rising to his cheeks again. It's probably not fever, just the change from cold to warm while still wearing a jacket.
Closing his eyes for a second to admit he'd recalled asking Adele why she's there, at the facility, supposedly trying but not, Chester nodded, "yeah," he said, voice levelling to hers, soft and slightly hoarse still. There's a want then, a desire to be something, to get up and stand, to fight. It's inspiring, but Chester knew it's fragile at best. Then again, at least Adele's not vain enough to forego help and Chester offered a proper smile to counter her broken one. Using the cuff of his sleeve, he reached out and dabbed at the last of the tears still pooling at the corner of Adele's eyes. They're red, and it's unmistakable that while the tears'd stopped flowing, there're plenty of emotions still coursing rampant through her body.
Meeting Amber'd be hard.
But it's a start to something else, perhaps better, though Chester's not sure whether it'd be recovery.
"M'kay," Chester drawled lazily, pushing to sit up a bit higher, taking in a few deep breaths before rubbing at his face furiously. Right. Not there to just watch Adele sit on the bed. There's shit to be done, muck to be dealt with, life to pick up and such.
Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed to land on the floor, Chester gripped the sheets and just sat there, dazed some for a bit but he'd be fine. From what he'd seen of Amber's that she's the explosive kind, unstable and so Chester expected shit to just flow from her mouth to cast everything out there and be done with it. It's not easy dealing with, but at least it's clear. Messy though. Standing, Chester ran a hand through his hair and extended his hand to Adele. Time to face the music. They'd do so together and fuck the facility if they'd anything to say about it. Leaving's easy. Running's easy.
Wouldn't change anything though, but that's fine. They'd just forget. Forgetting's always an option.
"C'mon then," Chester coaxed Adele to come with. "We'll see what she's to say," he invited and looked at the door. Emma'd no doubt want to talk with him afterwards as well. It's making his innards twist, despite the simple reasoning that it's all trivial. Running away with Adele's more and more appealing each minute. The irony's not entirely lost on Chester, the irony of Adele wanting to take a stand and him wanting to run.
Her fingers holding on to his shirt like it’s a lifeline. Fragile and scare, for a moment her breathing starts to elevate. She’s not ready for the male to leave her, and her grip tightens till she those seconds of fear dissolve into calmness. Letting go, she continues to nuzzle herself against Chester’s chest. There’s something wrong with her; normally the thought of another man touching her made her sick to her stomach. Yet, she’s desperately dying to feel the male’s tender fingers brush her tears away once more. He’s warm to her. Strong, firm, she finally found something to cling on to. To brace her-self against the turmoil of life that seemed to rock her to and fro viciously. However, isn’t clinging on to Chester the same thing as running away? Sure, here she was making progress, and when life decided to present its final test in front of her, here she was snuggling with the male, trying to ignore it all. That’s the same thing as running away.
Blinking her eyes, her attention is focus on the male and his gentle features. Why couldn’t last night have lasted forever? Her fingers had been stroking his brown hair, and he had been sleeping on her bed, all peaceful like. There was a longing in her heart for him. And whether or not her heart was feeling lustful, or if it was because she actually care for him to, it’s hard for her to tell, but… Letting those words die on her lips before she even has the chance to say them, she sighs.
The tears have stopped. Blinking those blue eyes, the female slowly moves away from the male. One day, this purgatory will have to end. There’s sadness to her eyes as she flicks them back at Chester. Truthfully, there’s a part of her that just wants to stay here, imploring the male to hold her in his arms. She was in love with him, and yet she didn’t know how to voice it; she didn’t even know when she had become enchanted with him. Yet, if she just sat here, and did nothing than nothing would happen. She’d still be the scare girl whose a victim. Her walls would keep on being impenetrable and in the end she would only be hurting herself. Pain, sorrow, tears, she was sick of it all. There was a reason why she came here.
Chester her asked her why she was here long ago, before she started ditching questions. Of course the answer she gave him was bullshit, just something that she didn’t even believe. but now…
Grabbing the males hand, she looked at him with her blue eyes.
“Remember when you ask me why I was here… in group sessions?” She spoke softly. “I finally know why I’m here.. I want to stand on my own two feet.. I’m going to face Amber, without running away… but I need you to hold my hand… because well, I’m selfish..” She giggled a little, trying to force a smile, yet there was none to be had. Letting go of Chester’s hands, she blinked her eyes.
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