Whispers around the bend of every corner of the high school, whether they were good or bad it always made me nervous to think about what they might be whispering about. Stopping by my locker, I started to punch in my combination in; I always felt as if there was someone near me when I got closer to objects, like someone was watching my every movement.
The only times I didn't feel nervous were the moments I was near my best friend, Marshall; even at the mention of the name my cheeks started to burn. Shaking my head I put in my combination once more, since it messes up when someone pauses.
Inside my locker I picked up my notebook for Pre-Calculus, and the essay I was writing for my senior year. It was rugged, because I have had it since my freshman year.
I have been waiting for senior year for four long years, and in my notebook I can see how much I've changed. The words of a ninth grader could be replaced with more advanced words of a twelfth grader.
I did not know how to write back then, and maybe not even at the end of senior year. Written on the cover of my notebook was my name, Reese Aflec.
Suddenly I felt arms wrap around my shoulders and I dropped my notebook in surprise. They squeezed me, and for a moment I was panicking and ridiculously uncomfortable before I wriggled away to face the person with the audacity to touch me without identifying themselves first.
It was just Marshall, to my relief.
I could feel the grin on my face. It turned out to be contagious, because soon he was wearing one too. He was wearing a hoody as he almost always was, for which I'd make fun of him and tell him he looked like he was about to beg someone for money because he lost his home when he went to go serve in war. His dark jeans were faded to the point where they looked another color entirely. All of his style made him look rugged; it made it as if he were an object with sharp edges in one place and blunt edges in another. He was confusing.
"Hey, you want to know something?" I asked him, picking up my fallen notebook and gesturing for him to follow me down the hallway.
He shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly and cast his gaze around us, at the passersby as they waved and said hello in murmurs. "What?"
"You never really... hug anybody, you know? You kind of just, um... embrace shoulders or something."
Marshall shook his head and gave a small smile. "I don't do hugs. Too much commitment."
I pushed his arm playfully, my fingertips tingling and burning at the same time. "You're an idiot. A really big, stupid idiot."
He laughed at me and took the blow without sending one back. "Didn't you hear? Girls love idiots. We're everywhere. We're going to take over the earth by next year; I promise you."
I laughed, and for the first time that day, it wasn't fake.
"Well it's definitely not cute to me, and I don't love it. Go impress your little girlfriends." I joked around with him, smiling.
Of course the little shit that Marshall was just stayed beside me, looking over my shoulder he picked up my Pre-Cal notebook.
"Taking honors again, Reese? You know that's gonna kill your brain before you reach the age of twenty right?" Marshall asked me, to which I just rolled my eyes.
"Better than being a group of buffoons. Running around the place not really sure they are doing the right thing until it's too late." I told him. Marshall just blinked before he moved the topic, "Hey did you want to come to my place this weekend? I got a new game." He told me with a wink wonk nudge-nudge gesture.
I smiled and did the gesture back and nodded before the bell rang signaling for students to get to class. Of course Marshall being in regular classes he didn't usually share any classes with me and we have different interest. In fact I don't even know why me and Marshall are friends.
Possibly because of our differences, but that's kinda cheesy and over used, so I think the reason is because we work well together. We have different views and when they are put together it causes sparks to fly.
And I don't mean just in ideas, I've noticed over the span of four years I have gotten so close to Marshall it almost hurts and that during these years the sparks in me ignited and set a flame in my heart. Too bad I probably extingush every flame in Marshall, how does he even like me?
I sighed as I looked back down at my Pre-Cal book, two different ends of the spectrum collide, what is the outcome? Chaos, and that was what Marshall and I were together, chaos.
Remember this, remember that, after all of this I still do not remember why exactly the Earth can create strange metals out of the core or why people have different emotions. Learn and forget, that's all high school was and I was lying at the bottom of the ocean of lies.
Whether it be my lies or society's lies I still laid at the bottom, waves washing over me with tiny white foam lies left to pop. Everything crashes as another wave comes in much stronger and again it resides to make another wave.
I'm dying in this hole that I've dug for myself and I deserve it. Why do I push Marshall away when I want him so close? I see his hand trying to pull me out of my ocean of lies but I just lay there looking right at it. Hoping he'll grab me and drag me out, but Marshall is too nice.