It doesn't really mean anything

/ By X [+Watch]

Replies: 60 / 4 years 36 days 42 minutes 0 seconds

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I just wasted money on a game I didn't want on the nintendo switch e-shop because I thought it was a completely different game. digital purchases are non-refundable.

i want to die.
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 10d 8h 17m 16s
yes let's have me carry the god damn cat to and from the vet without a carriage. what a smart fucking idea i don't see how this could possibly go wrong.

  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 10d 17h 14m 31s
I feel very uncomfortable in this room. It is too big. There is too much space. I feel exposed, uneasy.

... I cannot sleep.
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 29d 22h 30m 43s
well i finally got desperate enough to try and make an account on some dating site.
keyword "try" as i ended up staring at the page that required me to upload a photo and describe myself for a good ten minutes or so before i gave up and closed the tab.
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 85d 1h 44m 46s
i had a rather traumatizing dream. one that i'd rather forget its contents, but not forget the fact that i've had it.
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 110d 7h 39m 24s
i can't go on like this.

i cannot go on like this.
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 170d 1h 16m 4s
Kinda generic fantasy world. Story starts out simple; band of heroes traveling across the world and trying to stop enemy faction of "demons".
There is a place in the very center of the world that you return to often. it's an ancient "elevator shaft" in the middle of a forest that leads to a cave called simply "the cave of origins".
Half-way into the story things take a sudden turn. The majority of the world is covered in this purple miasma practically overnight and every living being within this miasma pretty much just dies. the band of heroes return to the cave of origins after this only to find out that it has... mutated grotesquely. what was once an ordinary-looking cave is now covered in this pulsating fleshy mass and living sludge. the deeper they go the more alien the landscapes they discover. they find lost souls, and mad men who have wandered through this cave long before the band of heroes ever discovered it and uh..

all the lost souls have gathered in this cave of origins and its were the rest of the story will take place and stuff.

my dreams are weird.
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 262d 13h 59m 39s
I'm so close- so very close to finally getting myself a dog, and there is just one head ache after another. Meanwhile my father keeps switching from being really supportive to this and to trying his damnedest to sabotage everything.

I have a puppy on hold for adoption and I have until tomorrow morning to pick him up. The dog itself is going to cost me 300 dollars, and the landlord wants us to pay an additional 500 + 150 increase in rent for us to keep the puppy here.
I'm paying all of that. I'm not exactly using that money for anything else anyways...
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 319d 10h 20m 22s
I had a dream where I was going on a road trip with Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn. The dwarf was driving, Aragorn with in the passenger seat, and Legolas was in the back seat. We were in a minivan. We were driving to Krogers. Why was the dwarf driving?
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 1y 16d 23h 18m 12s
My hairline is starting to recede on my right-hand side.
This depresses me immensely.
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 1y 26d 3h 27m 25s
What exactly triggers these types of dreams, I wonder?
I only slept for a couple of hours, and yet the rapidly-changing landscape made it feel like years had gone by.

A young, and very much in love, couple alone in a world where they are the only humans left. At the top of some summit they plead with some greater power to spare them. Through pity this unknown being eventually did as long as they promised to continue leading a lifestyle that would not needlessly harm nature.

A large, empty husk of a warehouse and the sole person who lives in it.
Large stretches of wasteland in every direction.

A massive train that travels across an entire continent, and the people who live on it. Including a single young girl who was practically an idol to everyone on board.

And a RV that was as big as a small house traveling on a wide and seemingly endless road with several people who laze about in it all day and all night.

-- Even now some of the more minor scenes are blurry, and the details of these various scenes are starting to fade away.
Dreams are such mysterious things.
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 1y 50d 27m 53s
If we cannot afford to properly take care of these cats, then why do we have them in the first place?
Yes I know your financial situation isn't exactly great, but I know there is something that you can do! Why do you keep making excuses!? Why don't you ever just admit that you're wrong, why do I need to keep repeating something to you only for you to still not completely understand? Why do you remain silent so often? Why do you take so long to respond only for your answer to be completely idiotic?
Why are you so helpless? Why are you so unreliable? Why are you so useless? Is this really what a father is supposed to be? A spineless coward who lets everyone walk all over him? Someone who consistently makes false promises? Someone who is constantly trying to make excuses for himself just so he doesn't have to outright admit that he might actually be in the wrong?

This is a paternal figure that I am suppose to look up to? To respect? To love?
I don't understand. I don't /want/ to understand. It's completely illogical!

It's because you're like this that I'm always so angry and so frustrated with you. But no matter how angry I get and how much I yell at you all you do is just shake your head and laugh. You apparently don't understand me, and I don't understand you. So getting mad at you is completely pointless, my emotions and feelings will never be transmitted. It won't ever connect.
It's almost enough to drive one mad.

... I think I might have an inkling of an understanding as to what mother must have felt.
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 1y 59d 8h 28m 22s
when i get too stressed out my hands start to clamp up and i cannot open them very easily.

my body is so shit. why does it do this kinda stuff? cmon step it up
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 1y 80d 3h 9m 23s
everything is too bright. everything is too loud. everything is too uncomfortable.

fuck the world and all who inhabit it, for i cannot sleep.
  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 1y 82d 18h 15m 51s
Now I have about a paragraph of my next post finished, but that was... a week or so ago. I haven't touched it since.

  HEAD ES PESSIMIST / X / 1y 84d 38m 25s

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