[i "My love for you transcends time. Piper has just a few more years before she's off at college and I'm free. All I can ask is that you consider waiting for me,"]
A few more years.
That was exactly what Nelson said; a few more years then he would be free.
It was with his comment that all Belle did was remain silent and simply raise an eyebrow which may have caused Nelson to realize that perhaps saying that was not the best thing to say.
Although she and Nelson had millions together combined, there was not enough money to sustain a long distance relationship and deep down she knew that it would not work.
Giving off a fake smile, Belle nodded in giving a reply to Nelson before closing her eyes; feeling his lips press against her forehead. He was showing affection and admitted love and that was more than she thought she would ever get again. Why spoil it with her disagreement?
As the moment Piper came bouncing back down the stairs, Belle straightened up on her seat and regain composure next to Nelson and it within seconds that Nelson's daughter joined the two and for the five hours left they had, all they spoke about was what happened to them while they were apart and for that brief moment together, Belle felt at home and wanted nothing more than to be a family again.
The airport experience was one that was hard.
Kissing Nelson goodbye and hugging Piper tight, it was not long until Belle entered the private jet and it set off in the direction of home while the actress cried...and cried.
Again she was alone.
Again she would go home to a house that was empty and cold, with no one to hold her at night.
Her dog welcomed her home with a run and jump.
The maid, who she had known for quite sometime and so did Nelson came to the door and gave off a smile welcoming her Boss and friend home.
[+red "Have a nice time, did we?.."]
[b "Exhausting but nice all the same.."] Belle replied as she made her way inside the Plantation house that rested on the ranch before placing her bags down in the hallway while Eloise smiled wider.
[b "Why are you smiling like that?..."]
[+red "How is Nelson?.."]
Here we go.
Even Eloise knew.
[b "Please Eloise....don't..."] she muttered as she wandered into the lounge, pouring herself a decent amount of whisky in a crystal glass and was about to take a swig but she stopped due to the questioned Eloise made.
A question that made Belle think and pause.
[+red "Are you two back together?. It would ne wonderful having Master Nelson back and that pretty girl of his.."]
[b "We admitting still loving one another but....I don't know what we are. We didn't exactly say anything ...official....."] she mentioned before taking that drink. [b "It wont work. I honestly thought that Piper would like to come back. Id use this house as a holiday home, buy up again in LA, Piper would see her old friends...its just not meant to be."]
Days went by and still heard no word from Nelson.
Belle felt finally at home with her hair in curls, unstyled along with her white shirt, washed out jeans and cowboy boots upon her feet.
It was a warm sunny day to where she stood outside on the red land, throwing a stick for her gorgeous girl to fetch and bring back.
Every minute she thought about that man and wished for something different to what she had now. Belle had always had a lover but now ...all she wanted was her ex husband back to share future experiences with.
No other man would ever compare.
As soon as we step foot in the house, things feel off. Perhaps because this place has always been just mine and Piper's. We seldom have guests here, and I certainly don't bring women back here, let alone ones I've been previously married to. It's a stark reminder that Belle does not belong here. There's not an ounce of London in her blood, and this city doesn't suit her. She belongs out in what remains of the wild, wild west. In more ways than one, I imagine Belle makes an excellent cowgirl. She filled into her own space out there. I don't figure I very much belong out there either, but I do figure that I very much belong with her, and therein lies the problem.
There's truth in what she's saying. With our current circumstances, things will never work, regardless of how deeply we desire them to. All the money in the world can't patch up that distance. I hate to be so torn, but Belle takes part of the burden off of me. Of course I ought to put Piper's happiness first. These are the sacrifices you make for a child.
[b "My love for you transcends time. Piper has just a few more years before she's off at college and I'm free. All I can ask is that you consider waiting for me,"] I say, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before Piper comes bounding back down the stairs, and we have to resume as though things are normal. We've only five hours, and Piper spills most of it telling tales from the last couple of years, filling in the gaps for Belle.
Dropping Belle off at the airport brings about heartbreak yet again. We share a kiss that might be a goodbye, or might be a promise. I'm not sure. I dare not expect a happy ending just yet.
But this time I've taken down an address, and I've promised to write her. There's something awfully romantic about the written word, and perhaps the letters I intend to send will serve as some kind of solace.
[i "So, are we going to talk about whatever that was now?"] Piper asks once we've finally sat down for a rather pathetic dinner of canned soup and toast.
[b "I suppose we should,"] I nod, waiting for her to bombard me with questions.
[i "Do you even know what that was though? Is anything official?"]
[b "I wish I could say that anything's set in stone, but all I can say is that there's a whole lot of maybes in the air,"] I answer.
[i "Well, a maybe is better than nothing. You think the paparazzi is going to be showing up wherever I go? The pictures of you two are already all over social media. People are really freaking out about it."]
I hadn't even considered that. [b "For a couple of days, maybe. We're going to have to lie low for a bit."]
It was never ending.
It was one thing after another. Honestly, it broke her heart with knowing these people would get their rocks off by taking pictures. They would get a lot of money by invading privacy. The amount of damage that they caused in Belle's career made her miserable, especially the time she and Nelson divorced.
However she did not want to think about that. Instead she held onto her ex husband's hand tight while the other shielded her face from camera's and the flash however luckily it was a bright day so the flashes weren't as severe as they were in the dead of night.
It was coming in view of the car that Belle shifted the hand from her face that at the corner of her eye she could see a motion from Nelson that was all too familiar.
A flipping of a bird was a rude gesture and Nelson held one long and strong to the vultures who wanted those pictures of the two. They got them but none from inside of the car as the windows were tinted and her ex husband sped off like lightening.
Leaning back in the seat, the back of Belle's head hit the head rest and she sighed.
[i "Well, wasn't that just a thrill?"]
[b "Fucking vultures. They are going to be in our faces more than before Nelson. .."] Belle replied, utterly exhausted just from the walk from the hotel to the car.
Closing her eyes, she listened to Nelson speak on calling Piper and when he dialled the number, Belle smiled as it was hearing Piper's voice that made her feel elated. Piper had become a young lady.
Almost 30 minutes later, the car pulled on where Piper was and within seconds, she came out and hopped into the vehicle.
It was a beautiful moment.
Piper greeted Belle with a hug from the backseat. It was warm and ever so comforting. Exactly what she needed, a hug from her former step daughter and hopefully...future step daughter.
[i "Oh! Hi Belle,"]
[b "Hello sweetheart."] Belle replied, gently kissing her hand, smiling.
[i "I knew this was going to happen last night,"]
Belle continued to smile as she felt Piper let go and shifted properly into the backseat, buckled up and they headed off again, this time to Nelson's home.
Inside, Belle sat at the table with a fresh cup of coffee. Nelson remained close by her and remained silent while Piper was upstairs unpacking.
[b "Piper has grown up to be a beautiful young lady. You have done such a wonderful job. I can tell she really happy here...."] she spoke, reaching over and grabbed Nelson's hand tight. [b "Nelson, I love you. You are my soulmate and my forever companion but I cannot ask you to talk to Piper. This is her home and I should not be that person who is selfish and drag you both back to Wyoming with me. Honey, I love you, I love you and Piper but we can't do this baby. I leave to go home in five hours...."]
It was true.
Soon Belle would have to leave and go home without the love of her life and his beautiful daughter that she called her own no matter what.
[i "Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."] -Shakespeare, Sonnet 116
How long until we get to live the life we have always wanted, free of Hollywood's woes and all of those little pests with cameras? I can't answer that just yet. Piper hasn't even caught wind of this yet, let alone have I been able to consult her on the whole ordeal. [b "Sooner than you think, surely,"] I tell her. Now we know that the time will pass. And that this is worth waiting for.
Years ago, I took vows to be with this woman until the end. I didn't get it right with Gemma in the slightest. I didn't even get it right with Belle the first time around. But things are truly different now. I can envision us making it until the end. Fate and I have an odd relationship, but there's got to be a reason we circled back to each other like this. Our paths couldn't have just crossed and caused this beautiful collision completely out of the blue.
We don't have to say anything to make a statement to the people already lurking around my car. Our hands being intertwined say enough. The bird I flip them getting into the car's just an extra touch, made with love before we speed away. Or rather, before I attempt to speed away while these asshats keep throwing themselves in front of the vehicle in the hopes of getting a couple more shots of the two of us in the car together. [b "Well, wasn't that just a thrill?"] I pose sarcastically, just thankful that it's bright enough that they didn't have to be to aggressive with the flash. The only thing blinding me right now is Belle and that glow of her's, but how on earth can I hate that?
[b "I'm going to give Piper a ring and we'll go pick her up. You'll be a lovely surprise, I'm sure,"] I warn Belle before telling the car to call Piper and proceeding into a brief exchange with my daughter about pick up times, eventually bringing her around to being picked up in twenty minutes, because I have something important to tell her.
[i "Oh! Hi Belle,"] Piper exclaims when she realizes exactly who is in the front seat. [i "I knew this was going to happen last night,"] she admits, seemingly proud of it before going in to hug Belle from the backseat, raising an eyebrow at me when her head is safely over Belle's shoulder.
[b "We'll talk,"] I mouth back to Piper with a nod, before starting the car up to drive home.
The media was indeed going to have a field day with all of this. Just yesterday, they both were seeing each for the first time in what felt like an eternity. The two stood together on the red carpet, short words were spoken and it was uncomfortable.
Belle never knew how much she missed Nelson until the moment their eyes connected and everything came flooding back, even the bad memories.
However, the actress always had said that she rather have had memories, bad or good than nothing at all.
The time she had spent with Nelson was the best time she had ever had. Losing him was the most heartbreaking; but all of that was past them, all they had to worry about was here and now, and of course on what the media would say.
[b "The media can say whatever they like. They have for years, why should they stop now?"] Belle spoke while lifting her body up just slight while straddling her ex husband's waist only for his hands to rest upon her backside, keeping her steady and safe from falling.
All of this was happening so fast and truth be honest, Belle was enjoying the ride, perhaps that was the reason being behind the words she said on wanting Nelson and Piper coming back to Wyoming and living in the house upon the Ranch. It was perhaps feeling all loved up again that deep inside she hoped that Nelson would agree and indeed follow her home, but his reply was not one she liked.
A reply that made her upset on the inside but knew full well that he had a point.
Piper was growing up.
She had friends, a home, a place where she felt safe and was finally enjoying life.
[i "I can talk to her about it, but I can't guarantee that, much as I'd love to live in the kingdom you've built for yourself out there. That doesn't mean we can't visit, because surely we can,"]
[b "Visiting yes, but how long do you think it'll last? If we are going to do this again then I want to do it right, not some long distance relationship. Nelson, I cannot lose you again. Please speak to Piper. If she does not want too leave then we will have come up with another option."] Belle spoke, closing her eyes from time to time while feeling Nelson's lips upon her skin before finally her body was lifted and again she sood on two feet.
It was time to face the music.
Grabbing her handbag from the dresser, it was not long until the two exited the Penthouse suite, hand in hand and made there way to the elevator.
Down the floors they both went until finally they reached the foyer.
What was once a lobby that seemed quiet, soon turned into a flash frenzy .
With or without Nelson, it was going to be a frenzy, this just happened to be the Vultures lucky day.
[+blue "Nelson, did you stay the night? We did not see you come in today?.."] One of the men said before shoving camera's in the faces of the two people who just wanted to leave peacefully.
As their hand were held, Belle's free hand somewhat covered up her face as she looked down and remained quiet; heading outside where Nelson's car waited.
There's some beauty in watching her dress. Though I much prefer the clothes to be coming off, Belle moves in ways that have always enchanted me. It's graceful, sure, but there's a little bit of roughness to it. That same edge translates into just about everything Belle does. When its controlled, it's really something. Even when it's out of control, it's really something. Belle is just really something to behold. And oh have I missed the sight of her.
I suppose I can't blame her for misinterpreting my words. I didn't mean to drudge up old battles or transport us back in time. Things were bad between us, but I've no intention of talking about that right now. [b "My darling, all I meant was that the media are going to have a bloody field day with this one,"] I clarify, placing my hands on her back and offering a bit of extra support in her straddle. I know I'm going to have to formulate some kind of response to what she said at some point, but it's difficult to do anything but just take her in right now. Even then, it's proving more and more impossible by the second to not break my gaze from hers and let my eyes wander a bit.
[b "This night has been simply divine, but perhaps even a bit surreal. Surreal, because even through all the denial, I think I've been dreaming of it the entire time we've been apart. Never once did I think it would really happen, and so completely out of the blue. I assure you that I did not have the slightest clue we'd be seeing each other last night until I saw you there, and nothing else in the world has mattered since. Soon enough, it will hit me that this is reality, and then I will be with you fully, I promise,"] I spill out all of those feelings to her, pausing every now and then to place a stray kiss on her hands, collarbone and lips.
But Wyoming is something I cannot promise her. And I have to relay that in the best possible way. [b "Say, for a moment, that everything happens for a reason. If this is true, the time we spent apart was necessary for you to transform into this absolute American queen. And for me, it was necessary to form a meaningful relationship with my daughter. Piper's been my whole world in these years. She's built this lovely life in London around her friends and school, and seeing her growth has inspired a lot of mine. She has been a rock, but I dare not test her by completely uprooting her life once again. I can talk to her about it, but I can't guarantee that, much as I'd love to live in the kingdom you've built for yourself out there. That doesn't mean we can't visit, because surely we can,"] I do my best to explain, carefully keeping track of her expression.
[b "I fear we've gotten caught up in the details before anything's even begun,"] I confess, moving to change the subject before we can linger on how this won't work. [ b "So how about we go out there and raise hell?] I suggest, already lifting her up and setting her feet on the ground, grabbing a hold of her hand. If we're in this, we're in it together.
It was all a blur.
It was all quite surreal as never did Belle think she would see Nelson again. To be honest, it was not the nicest divorce and in truth, she should of tried harder and fought harder for him.
Belle could not tell you on how many nights she would lay in bed, eyes open and stared at the ceiling and think in her if all the different ways she could of avoided the fall out, think about what she would say to Nelson if she ever saw him again.
What she did say to him t the premiere was far off on what she actually wanted to say but it was being together alone in the hotel room, she screamed his name in passion and said exactly what she wanted the moment she took a step out into the hallway.
[i "If we do this, there's no going back,"]
There was no going back and Belle knew that if she did this, it would be for the rest of her life as she loved him more than life itself.
[b "No, going back. I know..."] she replied back before being scooped up into Nelson's arms and while holding onto him tight, she could not help herself but kiss his neck over and over.
This really was happening.
Shifting into the bedroom, Nelson put his ex wife down and within seconds she went over and started to pack along with putting clothes onto her body, fresh clean clothes of lace under garments and a floral wrap dress, heels upon her feet, Belle continued to get ready but slowed down as she started to think.
[b "What do you mean by no going back?..."] Belle spoke, turning around and stared upon Nelson who sat on the edge of the bed. [b "I have no intention of going back. I'm the one that fucked up and wanted the divorce. I wan this, I want you but .....I feel that you're not too sure of this as much as I am...."]
[b "I don't blame you considering all that i've done .... but if we are too do this, I need you with me...100 percent.."]
If the two came out together, the press would be all over them. They both needed to protect one another.
Biting her lower lip, Belle smiled and wandered across the room over to Nelson and while he rested upon the edge of the bed, the red haired beauty lifted up her dress and straddled her ex husband.
[b "Come to Wyoming with me. You and Piper. The ranch is beautiful, you both will love it. If were going to do this, I want to do it right. Come with me, both of you.."]
This is so reminiscent of our beginnings that I can't help but shake my head on the way out. Years ago, I was leaving Belle in hotel rooms and sneaking out to not get caught. I was hiding her from my family and the rest of the world. And that was the foundation upon which we tried to build a successful marriage. Of course it was never going to work out, of course. I should not be leaving her there, cold and alone and protected only by a thin sheet of fabric. Or perhaps I should.
For an actor who professes a desire to capture raw human emotion, I'm not at all comfortable with bearing my own soul. There's an exposure to it that I've never felt when taking on the role of someone else, no matter how near and dear the role was to my heart. For so long I've successfully acted like Belle and I ending did not cut directly into me. I've gotten good at pretending that the whole thing never even actually happened.
But when she's right here in the flesh, wrapped up in nothing but a single sheet, it's a bit harder to deny what was between us, and what might be still. She throws out quite the proposition, and I lean against one of the walls in the hallway, looking her over. So much for getting out of this hotel without any disturbances. I don't think I've got much of a choice now.
[b "If we do this, there's no going back,"] I throw out into the air something I suspect she already knows. Us leaving here together would create a whirlwind of press coverage, accompanied by a whirlwind of feelings we haven't encountered in a long time. There's a lot we'll have to address eventually, but I suppose we could get there in due time. To hell with it, I decide, picking her up and carrying her back into the room. [b "Let's get some clothes on you then, only I get to see you like this,"] I tell her with a mischievous grin. We're getting back together, apparently. If only for one day.
Because she has to go home. Somewhere in the states where more of her neighbors are cows than people, I imagine. Of course I'm not home to her anymore, but it doesn't sit right with me that she's going to be going home just about as fast as she got here. It's not like I can just take off and go hide away with her anymore. Not when Piper's in the picture. This is complicated already, but that's probably what makes it real.
This was not how it was supposed to go.
In Belle's mind, after everything that had happened, she half expected to the two to run off into the sunset and amended the broken hearts they had throughout the years.
Well, it was Belle's heart that seemed to be the most broken as one could be.
Laying on the soft mattress, naked under the single sheet with her ex husband that helped her ignite the spark of their love, Belle bit her lower lip and smiled upon feeling Nelson's fingertips gently caress her the side of her face.
It was the perfect moment, especially when his voice spoke softly about him not wanting to leave.
[b 'I don't wish for you to leave either..'] the actress muttered in a whisper, perhaps in a quiet manner due to her knowing that he in fact at the leave. Nelson confirmed this when he spoke on having to pick up his daughter.
What was a wonderful time, now turned into something a little upsetting as he had to leave and with good reason.
With the touch upon her face gone, Belle lent up on the bed, sat up with a straight spine and let the sheet fall from her body revealing her chest in all her glory as Nelson begun to get dressed but only after he wrote down his number on a notepad with a pen without the cap on.
[i "My old number leaked awhile back, and although some of the texts I was sent were hilarious in their own right, I had to change it, so there's the new one. Give me a call, if you want,"]
Not much to say.
Couldn't Piper get a lift home from the friend's mother?
[i "Or actually, come over for dinner with Piper and I sometime if you'd like,"]
[b "I'd like that.."] Belle replied, lifting the sheet up to cover her chest the moment Nelson trudged over and planted a kiss upon her forehead.
Piper really should of gotten a lift home...and not by her Father.
Within seconds Nelson left the suite and left his ex wife to sit there on the bed alone not being to help herself but fall back onto the mattress and cried softly into the pillow.
How did she get back here?
For a moment she was doing well without him. Sure she missed him, but now that he had left..it proved to be harder than she could of ever imagined.
Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea if they were seen together coming out of the same hotel.
They are friends.
That's what everyone thought.
[b "Nelson, wait.."] Belle called, shifting up and off the bed, through the suite with the sheet around her body only to go into the hallway and caught up to Nelson.
[b "Would it be so bad if we left the building together? I've lived years without you and now you come back into my life and now you are here and .... I have to go back to Wyoming tonight. Tonight I've felt more alive than I have since I've been without you. I have to go home......."]
There's an urgency in her voice at the end of it, cutting into this dreamy haze we've been floating around in. The slow come down from that high became a sudden drop back to earth quite quickly. Of course, how I'm going to get out of here is a matter of serious concern. Soon enough, the staff will be bustling around preparing breakfasts and getting ready to change out new rooms. There's cameras everywhere nowadays, and someone might just make a good deal of money in exchange for a shot of me leaving this hotel. But I've been a slippery fox since I was a child, and I'll find a way to work my escape out one way or another. That is not at all my highest priority right now. My foremost concern is instead working out whatever it was that just happened here. Beyond the fucking, I think that all explained itself. But she's been miserable too, and maybe even a little bit lost. That's something worth getting into.
[b "I don't want to leave,"] I confess, running a finger over her cheek, through a strand of her hair, and then curling that hair around it. In reality, I think she's the one who's got me wrapped around her finger. Always has. Even when we needed that time apart, I muse it was something that Belle needed for herself. She needed to know what life is like outside of constantly being married or in a serious relationship. As lovely as she was a couple of years ago, I don't think she was anywhere near as assured of herself as she is now. Age has done her well in a number of ways. Still, I don't think that she's sure about the two of us becoming an item again. I'm not sure about it either. Maybe what we need is more time. Just hopefully it's not years that we need to figure that out, either way.
[b "But alas, I have to pick up Piper from a friend's house at some point, and you're right that I ought to get out of here,"] I muttered, looking her over once more as a sight for the road before pushing myself up and off of the bed. I retrieve my clothes from the floor, donning them. Looking at her now, I wonder if I'll come to regret this like I regretted our first meeting just a couple of hours ago. I decide that no, that seems unlikely. For no explanation I can conjure, I have a sense of hope about the whole thing this time around. As though things will work themselves out as they're meant to on their own accord.
By the telephone, there's a notepad and pen. I jot down my phone number on it, and leave it there. [b "My old number leaked awhile back, and although some of the texts I was sent were hilarious in their own right, I had to change it, so there's the new one. Give me a call, if you want,"] I tell her, approaching her once more to place a kiss on her forehead before I depart. [b "Or actually, come over for dinner with Piper and I sometime if you'd like,"] I offer, realizing that Piper would probably love that. [b "I best be on my way,"] I say, giving her one last wink before I head out into the hallways.
The two being together was toxic.
Together, all they did argue and fight over the littlest things. At the beginning of their relationship the couple loved each other with fire like passion but soon the two forgot and all the did was be at each other's throats. Some where along the line they both forgot what love was.
Belle loved Nelson more than anything in the world.
Piper was the second love of her life as she ...too Belle was once her step daughter but loved her like she was her own. That should of been good enough but instead, the movie actress got greedy and nagged Nelson for a baby of her own.
The love may have left but the lust for one another remained and it proved it was still there the moment Nelson entered the suite and placed hands upon her, lips upon her to where they both kissed with passion, tongues dancing with each others moan as moans of relief and happiness escaped her throat.
Long years she had waited for this moment, dreamt of this moment always thinking that it would never happen but here it was, it actually was happening and her heart beated hard.
Naked, ready and willing, it was not long until Nelson ushered Belle backwards, turned her around to the wall and together made the sweetest music both had ever heard.
It was beautiful.
Belle screamed out his name and in pleasure the long hours the fucked, making up time for the minutes they lost when they were apart. However it was sometime during the fucking that the movements soon slowed they both started to make love to each other.
Marks rested upon Nelson's back from Belle's nails clawing at his flesh. As the two finished together, it was the red haired beautiful that fell onto the bed from being ontop onto the mattress and rested beside Nelson.
Head on his chest, all she could do was stare straight ahead at the window not speaking a word but breathing heavily, naked just the two of them.
[i "Belle, I think you might just be the love of my life, and I don't have the slightest clue what is to be done about that."] Nelson spoke softly, calmly to which Belle remained silent for a moment only to lift herself up and stared at the most beautiful man she had ever seen.
[b "I've loved you, the moment I laid eyes on you. I loved you then and I still love you now. We have tried to live a life happy, I thought living a life without you in it, I would be happy but it is the opposite. I was miserable. Are we better off being apart? Right now we need to figure out a way to get you out without being seen....."] Belle muttered softly..
Everything was far from alright. Morally, I don't believe this is much of a problem. I'm no longer with Yael, and by all appearances, Belle isn't in any sort of a committed relationship. We've been here plenty of times before, and history is merely repeating itself. And yet, there was a reason that this pattern ceased in both of our lives. Things between us did not just end out of the blue, and we are walking back into dangerous territory. Everything is on fire. If this is what it feels like to walk back through hell again, I don't think I mind it.
But the obstacles between us and the bed are far too small to stop us in our tracks. Surely, there will be consequences that are messy and painful and complicated, but I'm willing to accept them right now. They seem so far into the distant future that they hardly matter. All that really matters is that Belle is in front of me, and she's sliding her teddy off. She looks bloody brilliant, and of course she does. She always has. I marvel at her body, taking in the image of what once belonged to me. My fingers follow along with my gaze momentarily, as my hands run over her smooth, soft skin. All the while, I can feel her heart pounding. Or perhaps it is mine. Soon, my hands break off on their own, and cover more territory while my lips find their way to her mouth, jaw, neck, and momentarily stop at her breasts. Simultaneously, one hand is teasing around her inner thighs, getting closer and closer to right between her legs. She feels so familiar, and yet there's a giddy kind of newness too, as if it's forbidden.
With each other, we've never been shy about what we want. That was our downfall. I wanted Gemma to be alive again so I wouldn't have to feel so fucking guilty, and Belle wanted a baby. Neither of those things, I reckon, are possible by any means that's perfectly natural. But fuck, it's been years, and we both must want different things than what we wanted then. We must've found some peace.
Regardless, I am glad to have found her again, because I've never wanted to fuck someone more than Belle right now. That in mind, I guide her towards one of the open walls, and turn her around.
The lovemaking goes on for hours, in part because it is sheer ecstasy, but also because it delays the inevitable snap back into reality. When our bodies do the talking, things between us are clear and simple. There's hardly ever a miscommunication between the sheets with Belle. But afterwards promises that things will not be so facile. So when things come to an end, I lie in bed silently for a minute, unsure of what at all to say. Right about now, I'd love a cigarette, but stepping out onto the balcony is too much of a risk after our very public reunion earlier tonight.
[b "This is going to sound insane, but take from it what you will,"] I start, providing a moment's pause so she might brace herself. [b "Belle, I think you might just be the love of my life, and I don't have the slightest clue what is to be done about that."]
It was just one of those days where nothing felt right. Sitting alone on the couch with a wine in her hand and eyes glued to the tv screen, Belle honestly felt that this was gong to be her life.
After Nelson, sure there was men that came into her bed and there were a few she dated but she could never ever marry again. It was a complete shock she felt that way as really her whole life had been all about marriage.
Belle knew that the moment she met Nelson, he was it. He was the love of her life and one, no man could ever replace him.
The premiere went smoothly, the movie was a hit and she got a little surprise on seeing her ex husband. He said nice things, perhaps it was just to play it off with the audience but it was nice none the less and she opened her mouth and spoke on where she was staying ad she wanted to see him.
How could one be so stupid?
Nelson fled the scene quick enough to which Belle got her answer. He wanted to be far ...far away from her.
It was watching the classic Meet Me In St Louis on TCM channel by the fire that she took a sip of her wine, swallowed and quickly turned her head to the door as ears heard a knock.
Her heart skipped a beat just slight before leaning forward, planning the glass down onto the table before standing up and making her way to the door.
It was late.
It could not of been Nelson, that was for sure however when she opened the door, Belle got another surprise for the night.
[b "Nelson. Hi..."] she spoke softly as she opened the door a little wider, giving Nelson the all clear to enter the suite she was staying in.
He walked in.
Silenced filled the room, Belle closed the door behind hi and locked it for privacy reasons before turning shifting passed her ex husband and turned off the television.
[b "I did not think you would show up. Is everything alright?..."]
Before she knew it, Belle witnessed Nelson step in closer and placed his hands upon her waist guiding her into the room still not speaking a word.
Stepping backward, it was in this motion that their lips pressed together and both started to kiss with passion and pure excitement.
Belle could not help herself but shift her hands to his jacket, slipped it over his shoulders down onto the floor before unbuttoning his shirt, pushing the material apart feeling body underneath her finger tips.
Sure this was not a good thing to do.
This would just cause more heartbreak but Belle wanted him. She needed him more than needed air.
Breaking the kiss, it was in that moment that the two stared at each other, breathing heavily while Belle pushed the straps of her silk teddy over her shoulders, down her arms and let the night dress fall onto the ground around her ankles showing off the body that Nelson once admired.
What my memory had done a good job of warping up until now was my image of Belle. When I didn't have to see or speak to her, it was easy to reduce her down to evil. Watching her movie, however, forces me to look at her in a different light. She's far from the woman I used to look at with rose colored glasses back in the thick of our romance, and yet she is exactly what I used to expect her to be. Her performance is one that is genuine, and raw, and everything I know her to be capable of. In some way, though I don't know the extant of it, I contributed to that woman on screen. Maybe I hurt her just enough to make her fit such a role.
Riveting as the film is, I spend most of it fidgeting in my seat. Piper keeps pulling my hand away from tapping on my knee, rolling her eyes each time at the distraction I'm creating. It seems I'm not the only one engrossed in it. Though we never talk about it, I know Piper is curious about her former step-mother. Belle was only in her life for a relatively short period, but she was the only person even close to being a mother figure to Piper after Gemma died. I imagine the split can't have been as easy for Piper as she made it seem at the time. Even now, I've occasionally caught her reading stories about Belle, and keeping tabs on her from afar. It's nearly impossible to stay focused on the merits of this movie when the star of it is someone I've been through hell with, until both of us put each other through hell.
Fleeing the scene is something Piper and I are rather accomplished at, and so once more we make out swift exit after the end credits roll. I've no intention of going to any parties tonight, and don't care to bring my daughter to such events either. She's a bit too young to be surrounded by debauchery and other celebrities lauding each other until someone's ego nearly explodes. No, tonight I will not partake in such ceremonies. There's far too much on my mind.
Piper and I critique the film on the way home, concluding that it will likely win a number of awards, or at least be nominated for them. She mentions that one of her good friends invited her to spend the night, and I agree to let her go. I don't expect her to sit around all night in misery. In fact, I think I'd rather be alone anyhow. So when we get home, she packs a bag up and then I drop her off at the friend's place.
Finding out what room Belle is staying in is quite simple. I know all the fake names she uses when making reservations, and happened to guess the right one on the first go around. I sit in the dark of my car in the parking lot for what must be half an hour, internally yelling at myself for going even this far. Surely, I will regret this. It's just going to hurt. Somehow, in the end, it's bound to with her.
But I find I'm just as talented as ever at navigating through the back of hotels without being spotted by staff, or worse, random patrons. I make it into the elevator smoothly, and to her door without a single hiccup. I'm hardly breathing before I knock, but somehow my fist makes it up to rapping on the door.
When she answers, there's no words to be said. Without a crowd to keep me in check, I can't come up with anything at all to capture my feelings. Without all the makeup and the glamour, she still looks stunning. This is the Belle that used to be all mine. Where my words fail, my actions take over. I'm not particularly proud of it, but I find myself guiding her into the room. My lips fall on hers without hesitation, as if I'd planned the whole thing out in advance of coming here. Everything's all the more electric than I remember it being.
Never in a million years did she think she would be in the presence of Nelson.
After their divorce, they both agreed with their lawyers that they would play happy and speak that they both spoke to one another and they were civil.
They never spoke to one another.
They were not civil and Belle was a little far from happy, but more being content with life.
Years she had pushed men away, she destroyed all of her marriages however it was her divorce with Nelson that made her not want to get married again as it was her ex husband that she wanted more than life itself.
Being compliant, Belle smiled and shifted to the middle of the large background and witnessed Nelson walking closer and closer, finally standing by his ex wife as she started to feel tingly all over.
Nelson moved his arm to her shoulder but it was within a split second that Belle moved his arm down, letting it snake around her waist.
It did not look right when a man held his arm around a woman's shoulders.
They got closer and Nelson said the nicest things.
She missed that.
She missed his voice. She missed his accent but most of all, she missed the way she felt when she was around him. All giddy and weak at the knees.
[i "You look lovely.."] he whispered to which she replied that he did also as they both looked at each other for a moment before turning back and continued to let the Papz get their happy snaps.
[i 'We ought to get coffee sometime while you're in town,"]
[b "I'm staying at the Savoy. Come and see me around midnight. Alone. I think we have a few things to talk about..."] Belle whispered, smiling at the camera's before the two being pulled apart, Nelson going one way and Belle the other.
It was all up to him now.
The movie was a complete success.
Belle was always an historical actress, a romance actress, this movie gave her new outlook on trying a different genre and that was indeed the villain.
Sex and violence. Belle a psycho and a sociopath, not a movie a child should be seeing but Piper was quite mature for her age an understood that movies were indeed fake.
Belle was a hit but it was a night that was cold so once refusing the after party, the actress made her way back to the Savoy and got undressed after lighting the fire in the penthouse suite she was staying in.
Dressing down in a teddy, Belle wiped all the make up from her face, removed the jewellery and stared at herself in the mirror.
This was what loneliness was.
Stepping out of the bathroom, Belle flicked the light off and soon poured herself a glass of wine and sat down onto the couch with the tv on.
It was a nice thing Belle offered to Nelson to see her at the Savoy alone. Wether or not he agreed was another.
The two broke apart so fast at the premiere, it seemed to be all a dream.
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